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I dropped fromkl. the branch and opened my wings. "Tobias!" Jake shouted after me. But I couldn't stay. I flapped like a demon, no longer caring that I was tired. I had to fly. I had to get away. "Tobias, no! Come back!" Rachel cried. I caught a blessed breeze and soared up and away, my own silent, voiceless scream echoing in my head. I t was late when I returned to what was now my home. After I was first trapped in my hawk body, Jake had removed an outside panel that led into the attic of his house. I flew in through the opening. It was a typical attic. There were some dusty old cardboard boxes full of Jake and Tom's old baby clothes. There were open boxes of Christ mas lights and decorations. There was a chest of drawers with a top that had been scarred by something or other. Jake had opened one of the drawers in the chest and packed it with an old blanket. It was nice of him. Jake has always been a de- cent guy. In the old days he used to protect me from the punks at school who liked to beat me up. The old days. When I still went to school. How long ago had it been? A few weeks? A month? Not even. There was a Rubbermaid dish in a corner where no one was likely to see it. I was hungry. I clutched the dish with my left talon and pried the lid off with my hooked beak. Meat and potatoes and green beans. The meat was hamburger. I don't know how he arranged to get the food. His mom probably thought he was sneaking scraps to his dog, Homer. I hadn't told him yet, but I couldn't eat the vegetables or the potatoes. My system couldn't deal with much except meat. I ... the hawk . . . was a predator. In the wild, hawks live on rat and squirrel and rabbit. I ate some of the hamburger. It was cold. It was dead. It made me feel bad to be eating it, but it filled me up. But it wasn't dead meat that I wanted. I wanted live meat. I wanted living, breathing, scurrying prey. I wanted to swoop down on it and grab it with my razor talons and tear into it. That's what I wanted. What the hawk wanted. And when it came to food, it was hard to deny the hawk brain in my head. The hunger I felt was the hunger of the hawk. I flopped and hopped up into my drawer. But it was soft. And what my hawk body wanted was not the warmth and comfort of the blanket. Hawks make nests of sticks. Hawks spend their nights on a friendly branch, feeling the breeze, hearing the nervous chittering of prey, watching the owls hunt. I hopped up out of the drawer. I couldn't stay there. I was so tired I was past being able to rest. I was restless. I flew back out into the night. Hawks are not usually nocturnal. The night belongs to other hunters. But I wasn't ready to rest. I flew aimlessly for a while, but I knew in my heart where I was going. Rachel's bedroom light was still on. I fluttered down and landed on a birdhouse she had deliberately nailed out there for me to land on when I came over. I rustled my wing softly against the glass. I scratched with one talon. « Rachel?» A moment later the window slid up. She was there, wearing a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. "Hi," she said. "I was worried about you!" « Why?» I asked. But I knew the answer. "We weren't very sensitive this afternoon," she said. She spoke in a whisper. We couldn't let her mother or one of her little sisters overhear her having a one-sided conversation with no one. « Don't be silly,» I said. « You guys barely es caped being . . . you know. » "Come inside. I have my bedroom door locked." I hopped in through the window and fluttered over to her dresser. Suddenly I realized something was behind me. I turned my head around. It was a mirror. I was looking at myself. I had a reddish tail of long straight feathers. The rest of my back was mottled dark brown. I had big shoulders that looked kind of hunched, like I was a football lineman ready for the snap. My head was streamlined. My brown eyes were fierce as I stared over the deadly weapon of my beak. I turned my head forward, looking away from my reflection. « I don't know what's happening to me, Rachel. » "What do you mean, Tobias?" I wish I could have smiled. She looked so wor ried. I wish I could have smiled, just a little, to make her feel better. « Rachel. I think I'm losing myself. » "Which -- What . . . How do you mean?" she asked. She bit her lip and tried not to let me see. But of course, hawk eyes miss nothing. « Today the hawk we freed . . . she was there. At the lake. I wanted to go with her. I felt like I belonged with her. » "You belong with us," Rachel said firmly. "You are a human being, Tobias." « How can you be so sure?» I asked her. "Because what counts is what is in your head and in your heart," she said with sudden passion. "A person isn't his body. A person isn't what's on the outside." « Rachel ... I don't even remember what I looked like. » I could see that she wanted to cry. But Rachel is a person with strength that runs all the way through her. Maybe that's why I came to see her. I needed someone to be sure. I wanted someone to let me borrow a little of their strength. She went over to her nightstand and opened the drawer. She rummaged for a minute, then came back to me. She was holding a small pho tograph. She turned it so I could see. It was me. The me I used to be. « I didn't know you had a picture of me,» I said. She nodded. "It's not a great picture. In real life you look better." « I n real life,» I echoed. "Tobias, someday the Andalites will return. If they don't, we're all lost, all the human race. If they do come back, I know they'll have some way to return you to your own body." « I wish I was sure,» I said. "I am sure," she said. She put every ounce of faith into those three words. She wanted me to believe. But I could see the tears that were threatening to well up in her eyes as she lied. Like I said, hawks don't miss much.
Chapter 13 Ta lking to Rachel helped. A little, anyway. I spent the night in my little drawer in Jake's attic. I spent the next day flying around, waiting for my friends to get out of school. In some ways, I realized, my situation wasn't all bad. For one thing, I had no homework. For another, I could fly. How many average kids can hit forty miles per hour in level flight and break eighty in a stoop -- a dive? I went to the beach and rode the thermals there. It was best where the cliffs pressed right up against the blue ocean. I saw some prey, some mice and voles in the grass along the top of the cliff, but I ignored them. I was Tobias. I was human. Jake had called a meeting for all of us for that evening in his room. Tom, Jake's brother, would be away at a meeting of The Sharing. The Sharing is a "front" for the Yeerks. They pretend it's just some kind of Boy Scouts or whatever, but its real purpose is to recruit voluntary hosts for the Yeerks. I've gotten into the habit of checking people's watches from up in the air. Also, you know how banks sometimes will have a big sign showing the time and temperature? Those are helpful, too. It's strange the things you miss when you lose your human body. Like showers. Like really sleeping, all the way, totally passed out. Or like knowing what time it is. In the afternoon I flew back to the school. I drifted around overhead till it let out. Then I waited till I saw Jake, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco come out. They came out separately. Marco had pointed out that it was bad security for them to be seen together all the time. I followed the bus with Jake and Rachel in it. They lived closest, just a few blocks away from each other. Marco lived in some apartments on the other side of the boulevard. He lived with just his dad, since his mom drowned a few years ago. Cassie had to travel farthest, out to the farm, which was about a mile from the others. For me it was about a three-minute flight. Like I say, there are some good things about having wings. I guess really it's okay most of the time. Really. I floated on a nice thermal above Jake's house, waiting for him to get home. I saw him get off the bus and go inside. I couldn't see Rachel from where I was because there were trees in the way, but I did see Marco for just a second or two. I concentrated on watching my friends. That way I didn't notice the squirrels in the trees as much. Or the mice that poked their little noses from their holes and sniffed the air. After a while I saw Tom leave Jake's house. Tom looks just like Jake, only he's bigger and has shorter hair, i'd never really known Tom well. But it was during the doomed attempt to rescue him from the Yeerk pool that I was trapped. He headed down the street, acting nonchalant. Then, a block away, a car pulled up and opened a door. He jumped in. Off to his meeting of The Sharing. After a while, I saw the others start to head for Jake's house. I could identify Rachel easily. She was practicing for her gymnastics as she walked. She would walk along the edges of curbs, p
retending they were balance beams. I flew in Jake's window once everyone was there. I didn't want it to look like I'd been hanging around all that time with nothing to do. "About time," Marco said. "We've all been waiting here for like an hour." They'd been there for about two minutes. « I'm a busy bird,» I said. « I lost track of time. » "We better make this kind of quick," Cassie said. "Ms. Lambert gave us papers to write by day after tomorrow, and I promised my dad I'd help him release this great horned owl. He was a mess. He'd landed on a power line and got fried. But he's ready to go now. We have a habitat picked out." "Friend of yours, Tobias?" Marco teased me. The others all shot him nasty looks. But the truth was, it made me feel okay to be teased by Marco. Marco teased everyone. « We hawks don't hang with owls,» I said. « They do nights, we mostly do days. » "He's a beautiful animal," Cassie said. « I see them sometimes at night,» I said. « They're amazing. So cool. Totally silent. Their wings don't make a sound. One can fly an inch in front of your face and you won't hear it. » "Urn, okay, look, if Cassie has to get going, maybe we better deal with business," Jake said. "Yeah, if you two are done with the bird-talk part of the meeting," Marco added. "I have to get going soon, too," Rachel said. She looked a little embarrassed. "My gymnastics class is putting on an exhibition at the mall." "Oh, I'm there," Marco crowed. "No, you are not there," Rachel snapped. "None of you is going near that place. You know how I feel about having to put on stupid exhibi tions." Rachel is not one of those people who like to perform in front of a crowd. "We have learned how the Yeerks get their air and water," Jake said, trying to get down to busi ness. "And we even know where they do it. And we more or less know when. There ought to be some way for us to use this information. Any ideas?" Rachel shrugged. "We try and find a way to destroy the ship." Marco raised his hand like he was in class. "How about if we, urn, go back to talking about birds?" Rachel ignored him, as she usually did. "Look, we find some way to destroy that ship and maybe the Yeerks will run out of air and water. Maybe that will even mean that they have to give up and go home." "Maybe," Cassie said. "Or they may have a dozen more of those ships in different places all over the earth. We don't know how many ships they have." "This one would be all we need if -- was Marco began to say. Then I guess he realized he was about to suggest something dangerous. "I mean . . . nothing." "What?" Jake asked him. "What were you go ing to say?" Marco looked trapped. He shrugged. "Okay, look, what if that ship didn't get blown up or dis integrated or whatever. What if it was flying over the city and suddenly the cloaking device was turned off?" We were all silent while we thought about that image. Suddenly a million people would look up in the sky and see a ship the size of a skyscraper. "People would probably notice it," Jake said. "Oh yeah, they would notice it," Rachel agreed. "Radar would see it, too. A million eye witnesses. The Controllers would never be able to cover it up!" « People would videotape it» I said. « They would take pictures. There would be radar tapes. » Jake grinned. "The whole world would see. The entire human race would realize what was happening." He was getting excited now. "And then we could go to the authorities. The Controllers wouldn't be able to stop us! We could tell all we know!" Rachel's eyes were gleaming. "We could tell them about The Sharing. We could turn in Chap man!" "And you figure Visser Three and his pals are just going to sit around and do nothing?" Marco asked. "Like you said, we have no idea how many ships they have. Or how much power." Jake looked a little disappointed. « They don't have enough power to attack Earth openly,» I said. "And how do you know that?" Marco asked. « Because they are going to a lot of trouble to keep themselves a big secret. You don't hide if you're tough enough to come out and kick butt in
a fair fight. » I expected Marco to have some smart come back. But he just nodded. "Yeah, you're right." "This could be our big chance," Rachel said. "Uncloak that ship, so the whole world can see." "I hate to ask this," Marco said with a groan, "but how do you think you're going to do that?" It was Jake who answered. "We'll have to get inside that ship." He winked at Marco. "Want
to know how?" Marco shook his head. "Not really." "Through the water pipes. As fish." Marco sighed. "Jake, I just told you I didn't want to know." Rachel and Cassie took off, heading in dif ferent directions. "Have a good show," Cassie called to Rachel. "Yeah, right," Rachel said grumpily. "I'll be there soon," Marco told Rachel. "Don't fall off any balance beams until I get there." Rachel shot Marco one of her "you're a dead man if you mess with me" looks and disap peared, leaving just Marco, Jake, and me. "She really kind of likes me," Marco said, with a wink at Jake and me. "Uh-uh," Jake commented dryly, "Look, Tobias, if we're going to do this mission, it can't be till the weekend." « Why?» "The timing. We have to morph to travel up there. There are no buses and we can't walk that far in human bodies. Even as wolves, though, it takes time. It took more than an hour last time. It just seemed to me that we might want to get up there in the morning, camp out somewhere hid den, and then be ready by afternoon when the Yeerks show up." "And this time we may want to travel around that other wolf pack's territory," Marco pointed out. "I don't want to get into it with them again." It made sense. « I guess you're right. So if you're going to camp early in the day, you need a Saturdays "Anyway, it might be a good idea if we had as much information about the area as we can get." Jake gave me a thoughtful look. "So I was think ing -- his « Yeah,» I interrupted. « l'll spy out the situa tion. I'll look for someplace you can hide. I have a lot of time on my hands. No hands, exactly, but lots of time. » Marco and Jake both laughed. I think Marco was surprised that I could make a joke about my self. I saw an intense look in Jake's eyes. He was wondering if I was okay. « I'm cool,» I thought-spoke privately to him, so Marco couldn't hear. « I was just a little weirded-out by watching you all struggle to get out of those wolf morphs. » He raised an eyebrow and nodded. He had been upset, too. I could imagine. I suspected there had been a lot of nightmares over that mess. "Okay, so now what?" Marco asked. "Do I sneak into the mall without Rachel being able to see me, or do we all sit around and play Doom?" "I have homework," Jake said. "And trust me, Marco, if Rachel sees you at the mail making faces while she's on the balance beam, she will turn into an elephant and stomp you." Marco winced. "Remember the good old days when ail a girl could do to you was call you names?" I flew off, leaving them to play video games or do homework, or however they ended up killing time. Either way, it wasn't something I could par ticipate in. It's kind of a shame, really. With my eyesight and the reaction time I have, I could probably be major competition in Doom. But joysticks and control pads aren't made for talons. I swooped out into the cool afternoon. I drifted around for a while. I checked out Chapman's house. Chapman is our assistant prin- cipal. He's also one of the highest-ranking Con trollers. When we first learned Chapman was one of them, he was ordering a Hork-Bajir to kill any of us who were caught. He told the Hork-Bajir to save our heads for identification. Not the kind of thing you expect to hear. Even from an assistant principal. But it turned out things were more complicated than we thought. Chapman had joined the Yeerks. But he had done it in part to save his daughter, Melissa. Melissa would be at the gymnastics thing with Rachel. At the mall. Remembering the mall made me sad. It was just another one of the places I couldn't go anymore. There was a long list: school, movie theaters, amusement parks . . . Wait a minute. I could go to the amusement park. And I wouldn't even have to pay admission. The thought made me happy. I don't know why. It wasn't like I could ride the roller coaster. But still, the idea kind of perked me up. I could bust right into The Gardens any time I wanted. Come to think of it, I could also watch any football or baseball game I ever wanted to see, too, as long as it was outdoors. And concerts! Whoa! Big stadium concerts, no problem. No tickets needed. That's the way I needed to be thinking. There were millions of things I could do as a bird that I couldn't do as a human. But not right now. I turned and headed toward the mountains. I had a job to do. It was another good thing about being me. I was the ultimate airborne spy. There was a long line of towering clouds run ning to
the mountains. Perfect weather for me. Thermals are what push those clouds up so high. I just let myself get into it. It wasn't a bad life. Not really. I was flying. Back when I was in my old body, I used to look up in the sky and wish I could fly. Now I could. I figured there were probably kids down on the ground right now looking up at me and thinking, "Wow, that would be so cool." If only I had something to eat. I was feeling a little hungry. Should have asked Jake to grab me a snack. It happened before I really even had time to think about it. I guess it was because I was feel ing good. Feeling relaxed. I was above the woods, just a half mile or so beyond Cassie's farm. The trees opened up to form a little meadow. This is what red-tails love. A little meadow. It was full of prey. Squirrels scouring the ground for nuts. Hopping, then sitting up on their hind legs to look around nervously. Mice that scurried from hole to hole. Rabbits. A rat. My eyes focused on it with absolute intensity. I sort of shrugged one shoulder, turned sharply in midair, and plummeted toward the earth in a stoop. My wings were back. My head low. My talons tucked back for maximum speed. Sudden flare! I opened my wings. The shock of the air. Talons raked forward. Eyes never mov ing even a millimeter from the rat. Focus! I struck! An incredible rush of excitement surged through me. I was ecstatic! Ecstatic! That's the only word for it. It was intense beyond anything I had ever experienced. Talons hit warm flesh. My razor claws squeezed. The rat squirmed in my grip. But it was helpless! Helpless! I was in a frenzy. I hooded my wings around my kill, shielding it from any other predator that might try to steal it away. « NO! NO! NO! NO! n O to » I fell back. I looked down at my talons. They were red with blood. Rat meat dripped from my beak. In my panic, I forgot what I was. I tried to run away. But I no longer had legs and feet to run with. I had killing talons. Bloody talons. I fell in the dirt. No, I cried voicelessly. But I could still see the dead rat. And I could taste it. And no matter how many times I said "no," it would always be "yes."
Applegate, K A - Animorphs 03 - The Encounter Page 4
