As a tingling sensation started to build deep inside her, she had to pull away from Lucky’s mouth and bury her face in the crook of his neck as the pleasurable feeling built up, threatening to drown her. Just when she reached the highest point, Lucky groaned and fell against her, his weight barely supported by his elbows as he panted against her ear. Panting herself, Cammie rubbed the smooth skin along Lucky’s back, already dreading the moment he would exit her and break the magic spell that had made him hers for the too brief moment in time.
“That was good,” he said breathlessly as he withdrew from her, kissed her forehead and rolled onto his back.
Cammie studied him, his body gently lit by the pale sliver of moonlight shining through the blinds covering his bedroom window. Sweat glistened on his perfectly sculpted chest as it rose and fell, one hand covered his brow, obscuring his face in shadow. She could see the talented mouth that had explored her body and itched to reach out and trace the smooth lines.
The hand that had been resting on his flat stomach reached over and caressed her thigh. “You can stay the night, and I’ll take you to work in the morning. Hell, it’s morning already, but we can catch a few hours sleep,” he said as he raised his upper body off the bed and tugged at the covers.
Cammie shifted, allowing him to pull the sheet from beneath her so they could get under it, grateful she could cover up. Now that the act was over, she felt exposed and embarrassed to be naked with him. She reached for the sheet, eager to cover her bare body. “Do you have an alarm clock? We should set it f—” She stopped as she noticed him staring at a splotch on the sheet.
“Are you on your period, Cam...or is this what I think it is?”
Embarrassment heating her face, Cammie grabbed the sheet. “I’ll wash your sheets, Lucky.”
“I don’t care about the damn sheet,” he snapped, snatching the bunched material back. “Tell me this wasn’t your first time.”
Her face grew warmer, but her body grew cold as she registered the angry undertone in Lucky’s gravelly voice.
Feeling vulnerable, and afraid to grab for the sheet again, she pulled her knees to her chest and crossed her arms over them. “It’s all right, Lucky. I wanted to do this.”
“Well, I didn’t.” He punched the mattress and turned away from her, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to sit with his back ramrod straight. “You didn’t tell me I’d be taking your virginity. That was a fucking deal breaker!” He turned his head, looking in her direction, but not meeting her gaze. “Did I hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” she answered, voice shaking as her bottom lip wobbled. This was not the way she’d pictured the moment after in her fantasies.
“Good.” He rose from the bed and snatched the sheet off. “I could have seriously hurt you. Why didn’t you tell me? Hell, how the hell can you even be a virgin? You’re twenty-eight years old.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore,” she pointed out, and instantly regretted it as he speared her with a dark look that glistened with so much anger she could see it in the darkness. “And there’s nothing wrong with waiting. Kenzie was a virgin until Chance, and she’s the same age as me.”
“Kenzie saved herself for Chance,” Lucky snapped. “What reason would you wait so damn long and then blow it on—” He shook his head as he backed up a step, wadding the sheet in his hands. “Hell no, Cammie. I’m not your freaking Prince Charming. I’m not the kind of guy you bring home to meet the family or walk up to the altar with. Being your first is not going to change the way I am.”
Cammie’s eyes burned. She’d told herself she knew this and would be happy with the one night with Lucky, but having him say out loud that this was just sex and he didn’t want anything else from her made her realize that deep in her heart, she’d hoped for the very thing he was warning her would never happen. Like a silly teenage girl, she’d hoped he’d feel something when they joined, something more than the physical pleasure that came with the act.
“I’m sorry this was such a horrible experience for you,” she managed to say while fighting back tears. “I’ll walk home and never bother you again.”
“Like hell you will.” He crossed over to the closet and yanked a plaid, button-down shirt off a hanger before tossing it in front of her on the bed. “Go take a hot bath. It might help keep you from feeling sore when you wake up. I’ll change the sheets while you’re doing that. You can have the bed tonight.”
Holding the offered shirt to her chest, Cammie slowly stood from the bed and crossed the room. Her body hurt, unused to the exercise it had just been put through, but she took care not to let it show as she covered herself with the shirt and stepped into the narrow hall.
“Cammie.”
She turned to see Lucky standing next to the bed, seemingly unashamed by his own nudity.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, but this wasn’t right. A man should know whether he’s taking something this important from a woman so he can make the right decision. I never would have done this with you had I known.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Cammie replied, her voice a rough whisper as tears slid down her cheeks.
She entered the small bathroom and locked the door behind her. Flinging the shirt that smelled of the man she’d just given everything to into the corner, she ran water into the tub and sank down into it, allowing the warmth of the water to chase away the cold that had spread through her limbs from Lucky’s verbal attack.
The moment she’d dreamed of for so long had went from fantasy to nightmare in a second. Though she’d hoped for it, she’d known there was a chance Lucky wouldn’t develop feelings for her. But she never expected him to be angry with her over sharing what she’d considered to be a beautiful, special experience with him.
Tears now streaming down her cheeks, she rested her head along the back of the tub and closed her eyes, but they quickly snapped open as a frightening thought entered her mind.
They hadn’t used any protection.
Chapter Five
“You gotta be kidding me!”
Chance’s growl, followed closely by the sound of chair legs scraping over the floorboards, broke through Lucky’s foggy mind.
“I am not dragging your drunken ass out of this bar again.”
He lifted his heavy head to see his older brother sitting in front of him at the small table, sporting a scowl mean enough to frighten small children after just a mere glimpse of it.
“Hey, brother,” he grumbled. “How nice of you to join me for breakfast. Even nicer of Rho to call you to come fetch me like I’m some damn kid.”
“Quit getting drunk off your ass, and she’ll quit having to call me to come fetch you.”
“I’ve been getting drunk off my ass for years while you were nowhere near here,” Lucky reminded him. “I never needed anybody to come fetch me. I’m a grown man, and if I want to get drunk, by dammit, I’ll get drunk.”
“Why not actually work on fixing your damn problems instead of trying to drink them away?” Chance asked as he lifted one of the assorted empty bottles littering the table between them and set it aside in disgust. “You know they’re still gonna be there when you sober up.”
“Yeah, but at least I get a few moments of drunken bliss.” Lucky tipped back his last bottle and let the liquor slide down his throat to burn in his stomach with the other five bottles he’d drank. “A little self-pity never hurt anyone.”
“I’m sure it’s hurt more people than it’s helped. What’s the problem, Luck? I thought you’d moved past the thing with that woman.” Chance leaned forward. “We’ve been through this. You are not responsible for that woman’s death. Her own sister came to town to personally tell you the same thing I’m telling you now. Let it go.”
Lucky groaned as he wiped his tired eyes and raked a hand through hair he knew was probably facing every direction but south. Luck. Cammie had called him that too. Sweet, sweet Cammie who’d clung to his mind like a damn cobweb. He’d known the woman was inno
cent, but not that freaking innocent. Who was nowadays? He’d thought Kenzie was a rarity. He hadn’t expected to find a second woman in Cook County to make it to twenty-eight years of age untouched. And he damn sure hadn’t planned on being the one to defile her.
He tipped the bottle to his lips, growled to find it empty, and started to throw it across the dimly lit bar, but Chance snatched it out of his hand.
“Give me that. What the hell is the matter with you?”
“I destroy everything I touch,” Lucky grumbled.
“Yeah, well, don’t trash Rho’s bar just to add to that list.” Chance set the bottle on the table and plopped his Stetson next to it before leaning back in his chair, legs stretched out. “I’m not gonna quit riding your ass until you tell me what the trigger was this time, so I’d appreciate it if you’d remember I have a lot of work to get done before my wedding next weekend and just spit it on out. What did you supposedly destroy now?”
“Who.”
“What?”
“Who, not what,” Lucky growled. “It’s who I destroyed.”
“Oh hell.” Chance rolled his eyes. “The woman was unstable. She would have killed herself no matter who she left the bar with that night.”
“I’m not talking about Sylvia Case.”
Chance frowned. “Who are we talking about then?”
Lucky swallowed, his own spit tasting like bile—the taste of guilt, he decided as Cammie May’s angelic face flashed through his mind. He hadn’t been able to purge the image since he’d dropped her off at her house early that morning. Even with tear tracks staining her cheeks and eyes puffy from a night he assumed to have been as sleepless as his, she was beautiful. How he hadn’t noticed it before, he didn’t know. He’d once considered himself an expert on beautiful women. Now, he didn’t consider himself an expert on any type of woman. He couldn’t save his mother from self-destruction, he’d picked up a suicidal woman in a bar, and now he’d taken a woman’s virginity without even being gentle. Sickness rolled around in his stomach every time he thought about it. If he’d hurt her…
He shook his head, unable to even process what he would have done if she’d been hurt by him.
“Well?”
Lucky tried to meet his brother’s eyes, but couldn’t. “Cammie May,” he mumbled, ashamed to speak the words aloud, but knowing his brother wouldn’t ease up on him until he knew what had sent him on his most recent drinking binge.
“Who?” A dark undertone threaded its way into Chance’s voice.
“Cammie May,” he repeated softly, still unable to raise his gaze from the scratched tabletop.
“Kenzie’s best friend? Aw, hell. What did you do?”
“I didn’t know she was a virgin.”
“Son of a… Lucky, tell me you didn’t.”
“You don’t know how bad I wish I could.”
“Dammit.” Chance slapped the table before calling over to Rho for a longneck. “You realize she’s probably going to tell Kenzie,” he said as he straightened back around. “Then Kenzie’s gonna castrate both of us. How the hell did this even happen? You swear off women for a while, and the first one you grab after tiring of that just happens to be Kenzie’s best friend?”
“She freakin’ pressed me up against the wall and shoved her tongue down my throat!” Lucky defended himself. “She told me she wanted it, and she stripped down in my bedroom. What was I supposed to do? I’m only a man…and a man who hadn’t touched a woman in months.”
Chance’s beer had been delivered, and now he sat with it suspended in air halfway to his gaping mouth. He blinked. “Cammie May did that?”
“Damn straight.” Lucky folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. “I did what any other man would have done, and for the record, she never once even hinted at the fact it would be her first time. I wouldn’t have laid one finger on her if she had. Even I’m not that big of a bastard.”
Chance nodded before tipping his beer back. “And now you’re drunk at Hell’s Belle. The aftermath must not have been too pretty.”
“She asked me if I had any venereal diseases.”
Chance choked, a thin stream of beer escaping his mouth before he guffawed. “Sorry, man, but I can picture it, and that is one damn funny scene. Hell, your face right now is cracking me up. You look all… indignant.”
Lucky crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, though far from relaxed. “I imagine I do. What the hell kind of thing was that for her to ask me?”
“You’re not exactly a choir boy, Luck.” Chance shrugged. “She’s inexperienced, and your reputation precedes you. Even with a condom, I can understand someone like her being concerned. She’s always seemed like a very careful person.”
Lucky let his gaze fall to the floor as he felt heat suffuse his face. Of all the mistakes he’d made in his lifetime, he still couldn’t understand how he’d made one this huge. Going without a condom was a mistake he never made.
“Lucky? You did use a condom, didn’t you?”
Gaze still firmly planted on the floor, he shook his head. “I meant to, but … It happened so fast, and things got out of control.”
“Dammit, Luck. You know better. Tell me she’s at least on the pill.”
“Nope, and when I offered to take her to get a morning after pill, she unleashed a fury on me like nothin’ I’ve ever seen in my whole freakin’ life. Woman acted like I’d asked her to murder a newborn baby.” Lucky nearly shuddered, recalling the heated exchange between them after he’d simply offered her a solution to ease her worried mind about being pregnant. He’d been with a lot of women, and though he wasn’t proud of it, he’d pissed off his fair share, but he’d never enraged one like he had this morning.
“If you got her pregnant—”
“I’ll marry her,” Lucky said quickly, with finality. He’d done some crappy things in his life, but he’d be damned if he’d ever walk away from a child. His father had done that to him, and he’d never forgive the bastard, whoever the hell he was.
“Unplanned pregnancies aren’t the best starts to marriages, Luck.”
“No marriage involving me would have a good start, regardless.” He pulled a wad of bills out of his wallet and flung them on the table before standing, taking a moment to balance himself as the room swayed. “I think I’m sufficiently drunk enough I can go home and pass out now. Maybe I’ll get lucky and stay out cold for the next few weeks.”
“And miss my wedding next weekend? Not a chance.” His brother stood and set money on the table to cover the beer he’d ordered. “So, what are you going to do about her?”
“Stay as far away from her as possible,” Lucky answered as he made his way to the door. “Stay far, far away from her and every other woman on the planet. I’ve screwed up enough of them.”
“I won’t argue with you about that while you’re intoxicated,” Chance said from behind him as they stepped out into the way too bright afternoon sun. “But you’re only going to be able to stay away from Cammie for about a week. What then?”
Lucky turned toward his brother. “My willpower is a lot stronger than you think, bro. I can stay away from Flo’s Fixins and Cammie May for way longer than a week. I guaran-damn-tee you.”
“Uh, Luck…have you forgotten what next weekend is?”
Lucky frowned. “It’s your wedding, I know. What kind of jerk do you think I am that I would forget my brother’s wedding?”
“The clueless kind that forgets he’s best man and the woman he’s trying to stay away from is maid of honor. You’re gonna be face to face with Cammie May all day, man. Hell, you’re walking down the aisle with her.”
****
“Well, this dress will certainly nip those pregnancy rumors in the bud,” Cammie said as she stepped back and looked at the beautiful, blushing bride-to-be.
Kenzie laughed as she turned in front of the full-length mirror, admiring the long, white, strapless dress that fit like a glove, showing off her tiny waistline. “Poor Delia will be s
o upset by the absence of a bulge.”
“She should just be grateful she was invited, the hag.”
“I didn’t really have much choice. This is Cook County. Everyone gets invited to everything.”
Cammie smoothed the back of her light pink bridesmaid dress and sat on the foot of Kenzie’s bed. She was happy for her friend, but at the same time, a heavy sadness weighed on her. Kenzie was walking down the aisle and exchanging vows with the man she loved and had waited for. She herself would be walking down the aisle with the man she’d waited for, but instead of feeling joy, she felt sick to her stomach. Lucky had been coming into Flo’s Fixins almost every day that he was in town for the past fifteen years. It was why Cammie had taken the job during high school, and one of the reasons why she’d stayed instead of trying to find work that didn’t involve being on her feet all day and dealing with people like Delia Mayberry. But Lucky hadn’t been in to Flo’s since their night together, and she feared he might never set foot across the doorway again.
“What’s wrong, Cammie? You’re not allowed to be upset on my wedding day.”
She looked up to see Kenzie frowning and realized she must have allowed her emotions to show on her face. She’d never been good at hiding what she felt. “I’m fine. Quit worrying about me and start looking forward to the start of forever with the man of your dreams.”
Cammie stood, fighting back the nausea clinging to her, and helped her to smooth her wavy hair into a low chignon before securing it with a pearl hairclip. “Perfect.”
Kenzie smiled at her reflection in the mirror before turning to encompass Cammie in a hug. “Can you believe it? I’m getting married to Chance Masters today! My childhood dream is actually coming true. Who knows, maybe walking down the aisle with you will put an idea or two in Lucky’s head.”
She forced a smile, ignoring the sting of tears behind her eyes threatening to fall. She hadn’t told Kenzie she’d slept with Lucky, so her friend had no idea how her statement hurt, or how much of a struggle it was for her to follow through with this commitment. The last thing she needed was to walk down the aisle with Lucky, each step torture because she now knew without a shadow of a doubt that Lucky would never want her, and he would be hating every second spent with her during the ceremony. He hadn’t even shown up for the rehearsal. If not for the brothers’ closeness, Cammie would fear him not showing up for the ceremony either, but he wouldn’t do that to Chance.
Cook County Cowboys Page 13
