by KL Donn
“Look at me, Sage.” She couldn’t. Knowing there were two other people in the room listening and baring her soul to a man who may not want her fragile mind was hard enough to bear.
“We’ll be outside,” Kirsten’s soft voice said.
The padding of their feet followed by the soft snick of the door closing announced their departure, enclosing Sage in the room alone with Lochlan.
“Please, look at me, Sage.” She couldn’t deny the pleading in his tone. Their gazes met, and in his, she saw everything she felt. “I want you, Angel. From the first moment your icy blues clashed with mine, you’ve stolen my every thought. You’re all I think about.” Her heart fluttered. “I don’t want you to settle, though. I want you out in the world and exploring. I want you to be happy. Even if that is away from me.”
Reaching up, she gripped the sides of his neck in the same fashion he was holding her. “I choose you, Lochlan.” She couldn’t be more concise than that.
Bringing his face closer to hers, he said against her lips, “I choose you, too, Sage,” before kissing her again. She’d been startled the first time, unsure of what to do or how. Now, she was sort of prepared and knew she could relax into his hold, and he’d lead the way.
Having never kissed a boy before, she wasn’t prepared for the feelings it evoked throughout the rest of her body. She tingled in places she hadn’t paid much attention to before. Her belly fluttered with a thousand butterflies, and her heart raced like she’d run a mile.
With every touch of his tongue on her lips, she wanted to moan with pleasure. She ached to brush her fingers through his hair and hold him to her.
His hands ran softly up and down her sides, careful of the bandages covering her skin. “One day,” he says pulling back, “I’m going to show you all the wonderful ways I can make your body sing.” A shy smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “On that day, Sage”—he places a gentle kiss on her lips—“you’ll be my wife.”
Wow.
Chapter Eight
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
Sage was to be discharged in another day or so. With no more seizures having occurred, the doctors were comfortable moving her to a regular room the day before and felt confident that she was on the road to recovery. Loch had to be pushed out the door earlier that morning because he’d been negligent in his work, and Sage had been on the verge of tears when his eldest brother, Lennox, had explained how pissed off the customer was becoming.
Having been assured that his mother would come and sit with Sage for a few hours and bring her soon-to-be daughters-in-law if they were free, he’d left with much reluctance. It was the first time Sage had been truly alone since the whole ordeal began, and she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.
Kirsten had come in and shown her how to work the television, a luxury Sage and her siblings hadn’t been given in many years, and she was occupied for a while, at least.
It was when the hospital drew quiet and the tv programs became boring that she was overwhelmed with her doubts and fears. If she were doing the right thing by leaving home? Would God forgive her for choosing her own path?
Sage knew in her mind that all this change was right for her, but her heart was terrified of being rejected by not only her Lord but Lochlan, as well.
He was older, far more experienced in the ways of the world, and she was just some dumb sheltered girl. Sage knew nothing of being a member of society. What was expected of her, where she would go. It was all still so new.
“Knock, knock,” a soft voice called from the door.
Her panic fleeting, she saw Lochlan’s mother entering the room. “Good morning, Mrs. Hogan.” She put on a bright smile for the older woman to hide her nerves.
“Oh, hush with that nonsense. You call me Lorraine, child.” This time her grin was genuine. There wasn’t a single thing not to love about the caring woman. “How are you feeling? Lochlan has called me about thirty times in the last ten minutes to check on you, and boy, was he aggravated when I told him I hadn’t gotten here yet.” She was amused about her son’s impatience.
“I’m alright. It’s so quiet here, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself.” Fidgeting with her blanket seemed to be the only thing to do.
“I can’t even imagine.” Lorraine’s warm hand on her own helped ease her anxiety. “Tell me, young Sage, you’re eighteen now and can do anything you want, what is it?”
Sage searched the woman’s gaze for sincerity, for real interest. Still too terrified to completely trust another person. “You’re going to think it’s silly.”
“Try me, sweetheart.”
“I’ve only ever wanted one thing.” She ducked her head in shyness. “Well, two, I suppose.”
Leaning into her, Lorraine whispered, “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
After a fortifying breath, she confessed. “To be a wife and a mother. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to fall in love. To be with a man that can take care of me while I take care of him. Someone who can understand my desire to be the one thing the Lord put women on this earth for. I want to bear him children. I want to love him so fiercely it aches.” She could physically feel what she was describing in her heart.
“Oh, Sage.” Lorraine’s delighted sigh had her looking up. “That is not the only thing women were put on this earth for, you understand.”
“I know that. Women are fierce creatures. We are loyal, and we can do more than most men. But I want to be the woman a man brags to his friends about for being…his. Solely and completely devoted to him.” It was extremely hard to explain this yearning inside her for how she wanted her life to be.
“For someone so young, you are quite wise and in touch with your feelings.” Lorraine’s praise felt so good. “Can I ask you something?” Nodding, Lorraine proceeded. “Is this what you want with my Lochlan?”
Afraid to say yes, to voice her deepest desire, Sage shrugged her shoulders non-committedly.
“Because if it is my son you want, I think you’d be perfect. Lochlan is such a complex man, and yet, so incredibly simple. He’s never needed much to be content with life, but over the past year, I’ve watched him become completely enthralled with starting a new chapter, moving forward. Towards a real life. Not just living.”
“He does?” Maybe she understood far more than Sage gave her credit for.
“Yes. Of all my boys, he has always been the most centered. None of them ever had any wild oats to sow… Well, Levi was lost for a little bit, but Hayes found him. They’ve all been level-headed, known exactly what they wanted and didn’t let anything stop them from getting it.”
Unsure of what to say, Sage remained quiet. Her hope for a future with Lochlan was waiting to blossom, but she didn’t want to be let down.
“Tell me what’s scaring you, Sage.” Her gaze shot up to the inquisitive woman at the question. “Young lady, I have three boys that are much harder to read than women. You’re easy compared to them.”
“Have you ever wanted something so desperately that once it’s within your reach, you’re terrified it’ll be ripped away as soon as you touch it?”
A perceptive look reflects back at Sage as Lorraine ponders her question. “You’re afraid to trust again. That’s not uncommon after an experience as terrifying as what you’ve been through. And you don’t need to hand your trust over immediately. You need to have faith in yourself to make the right decisions. It’s up to Lochlan to earn it from you in your own time, not his.” Lorraine paused to grip both of Sage’s hands in her warm wrinkled ones. “When you’re ready to share with Lochlan everything you’ve told me, a sense of calm and complete peace will warm you from the inside out and not a second before you’re ready.”
Relaxed, a lump in her throat made it hard to speak. “Thank you, Lorraine. I’m truly blessed to have gotten to know you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sage. If you ever need to talk or need a hu
g, anything at all, I’m here. I have a feeling Sophia and Hayes will be just as pleased to lend an ear or a shoulder, so please don’t be afraid to reach out to us.”
Too choked up to say anything, Sage nodded her head in gratitude, knowing the woman would understand how much her words meant to her.
“Good. Now, about tomorrow. Lochlan will be bringing you to my house. I have his old room all set up for you. You’re going to take the time to fully heal before you even think about anything else.”
“I appreciate your generosity.” Never before had Sage felt such love from a person as she did Lorraine.
“Mami, if your fine ass doesn’t get out of here, it’s going over my knee.” Asher threatened Elianna for probably the tenth time in as many minutes. The girl just didn’t know when to quit.
Lochlan, for once, was amused with the two and their antics while he put the finishing touches on the car he was working on. The one that pulled him away from Sage’s bedside.
“Oh, Papi,” Elianna purred as she walked passed them. “How do you know I won’t like it?” She teased.
“Mierda, Mami,” Asher’s muttered curse as she walked by, mixed with the desire on his face, had Loch laughing. “Shut it, kid.”
“Not saying a thing, man.” He was quiet for a few minutes before asking, “Are you going to go after her?”
“Eli?” He seemed surprised.
“No other hers around.”
He’s thoughtful for a moment before responding. “Nah, man, that chic’s too loco for me. She’s got more demons than I want to deal with.”
“You don’t think she could be worth it?” Loch didn't mean to be nosey, but with everything going on with Sage, it was hard to believe someone wouldn’t fight for the girl they wanted.
“Doesn’t matter if she is. Eli is forbidden fruit. Good for a fuck but not to bring home to the familia.” With his head under the hood of the car they were working on, Asher couldn’t know Elianna was almost beside him and heard every word.
It was a sight Lochlan wouldn’t soon forget. She fought to be fierce, to fit in, but like a lot of people, she just wanted to be loved. The hurt flickering through her light green gaze wouldn’t be extinguished any time soon.
“Shit.”
“What?” Asher asked as Eli said, “I’m not familia material anyhow. Fuck ‘em and leave ‘em is my motto for a reason, Papi.”
“Now wait a min–“
She didn’t let him finish. “It’s cool; I’m done here anyways. Got an offer that can’t be refused.” Ignoring Asher, she looked to Loch. “You’ll tell Nox I had to go.”
“What about Soph?”
Her gaze flickered for a beat. “She’s got all the family she needs. My damage will only bring her down.”
Walking away, she paused when Asher called, “Mami, it’s not like that.”
“It never is.”
As she walked through the door and, presumably, out of their lives, Asher exploded into a rage, tossing his tools into the wall. “Mierda, hijo de puta!”
Guilt swamped Loch as his best friend stormed from the shop, undeniably pissed off. And all because Loch wanted to understand. His own needs and desires for Sage caused Elianna to leave, and there wasn’t a damn thing he was going to be able to do about it. Elianna was too headstrong to do anything other than what she wanted. No matter what anyone said.
“What the hell just happened?” Nox came storming into the back. “Eli took off like a bat out of hell, and Asher is pissed like I’ve never seen.”
“I don’t think she’s coming back, Nox.”
“Why?”
“I asked Asher a question, and she didn’t like his answer. In all fairness, neither of us knew she would be around to listen, either.”
“What’d he say?” Nox was confused.
“That she was good for a fuck and not the family,” Asher answered in a harsh voice coming up from behind them.
“Dayum, man, that’s cold even for you.” Nox’s whistle echoed around the room.
Scrubbing a hand down his face, Asher nodded in agreement before walking away again. The rest of the day was filled with tense silence. Even Joey and Mac remained sedate as they goofed off throughout the day.
“Hey, man, Soph asked me to give this to you.” Nox handed Loch the box with the gift she’d picked up for him.
“Tell her thanks, and I owe her one.” He was preoccupied as he opened the small blue box and didn’t notice Nox looking over his shoulder until he whistled again.
“Damn, that’s nice.” Loch watched his oldest brother walk away smiling and shaking his head. He didn’t think it was too much.
Being away from Sage all day wasn’t easy, but he was able to get more accomplished than anticipated, or even needed, as he finished cleaning up the shop as the day wound down. More than ready to get back to the hospital. He stopped for sandwiches and smoothies on the way in. Sage had mentioned the bland hospital food the night before, and he figured it’d be a pleasant surprise for her.
As he was entering the hospital, Levi called him. “Hey, bro, how’s your girl doing?” He sounded distracted.
“On my way to see her now. Ma dropped in on her this morning. How’s Hayes and her folks?” They hadn’t had a chance to speak much since the graduation party.
“They’re good. Shocked as fuck but couldn’t be happier.” Levi was quiet a moment, which wasn’t like his middle brother at all. “Look, kid, I think we should talk about all this shit with Sage and her looney toons family.”
Immediately riled up, Loch went on the defensive. “I won’t abandon her, Levi.” There was a bite to his voice.
“Don’t expect you to, kid. Just want your head on straight and to make sure we’re all prepared for the shit storm you’re about to encounter.” The jackass sounded amused.
“Fine. But not until I’ve gotten her settled in at Ma’s within the next couple days.” It was the only compromise he was willing to make at this point.
“There’s a fight Friday night. Nox and I will be at your place after work.” He hung up before Loch could respond.
Shaking his head at his brother and his impulsive nature, Loch continued on his way to Sage. He had spent most nights with her, and after being away for more than nine hours, he was eager to see her soft features again. Hear her tinkling laugh when she was nervous.
“Back again, Mr. Hogan?” Kirsten smiled from her post at the nurses’ station.
“Still here,” he responded. It was an ongoing greeting between the two of them. “How’s she doing?”
“Good. Your mother was here most of the day to keep her company. She only left because Sage insisted she go and run her errands.” Kirsten seemed to like watching the two women interact.
“Any idea when she’ll be discharged yet?” That was usually one of the first questions he asked her.
“Likely tomorrow, so long as there are no complications overnight.”
“Thanks.” He nodded to her as he knocked lightly on Sage’s door in case she was sleeping. Entering the room, he saw his suspicions were correct, and she was napping on her side.
Sitting on the chair beside her bed, he placed their meal on the tray across from her and watched as she slept. Her body was the most relaxed he’d ever seen it as she breathed evenly. The slow rise and fall of her chest calmed him. Thrilled she was able to find that sense of safety long enough to sleep even though he wasn’t there to slay her dragons when she needed it.
A slight shiver worked through her body, and as he went to pull the blanket over her waist and to her shoulders, she moaned, “Lochlan,” ever so quietly, making him smile. Settling her in, he sat back down and sent a quick text to Frank to see if he had learned any more information about her family.
Loch: Hey Frank, any new info?
Not getting an immediate response, Loch put his phone away to continue admiring Sage at rest. While she might find his presence reassuring and safe, he found the same with her. Girls hadn’t been on his radar for
years. Sure, he’d gone on a few dates here and there, but as soon as he’d seen Sage, just that one glimpse, he’d been done for.
There was just something about her he couldn’t put his finger on for the longest time. When it finally clicked, it hadn’t mattered that they came from vastly different backgrounds or that they were so young. As far as Loch had ever been concerned, the one and only tangible obstacle they’d ever had was her age. Now that she was of consent, he knew there wouldn’t be a single thing to stop them from letting their feelings grow.
In a way, it was cathartic to know that once she left the hospital, they could explore each other and their feelings. They would get the chance to flourish without the burden of her strict parents bringing them down.
At least, that was the hope.
While Loch was as sure as he could get about Sage, he wanted her to be free to explore the world he lived in and not only draw from the environment she’d been raised in. When he told her she wasn’t indebted to him, he’d meant it.
If Sage was to be his, he wanted that because she did as well, and not because she felt he was her only choice. He wished for her to want everything he did.
While his brothers may have guessed and teased him about his lack of a love life and the possibility of being a virgin, they weren’t wrong. He’d never made love to a woman. Hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting the right girl to give that part of himself to until the beauty with the frosty blonde hair and ice blue eyes smiled shyly at him.
Sage was a whole new ballgame for him, and he looked forward to discovering every inch of her silky, pale skin. Partaking in the carnal pleasures of love with her and her alone.
