by K. L. Donn
“What’s wrong with me?” I whisper. I don’t mean to. I certainly don’t want him to know that I enjoy what he’s doing, that my panties are damp with my arousal.
Whipping me around, I take my first full breath just as his hand grips back around my throat, lifting me off the ground. He has me suspended in the air, and I feel…
Liberation.
Freedom.
Pain.
“Do you really want to know?” he snarls as tears drip down my face in a steady stream.
“Yes,” I say, or maybe I don’t, but he reads my lips anyway. Wrapping my legs around his hips, Declan molds his body to mine. I can feel his arousal pushing against my pelvis. He’s huge, and I can’t help but wonder about his size.
“You need someone to take away your control. You need to be punished. But right now, you need to feel every fucking emotion you’ve been burying for far longer than you even realize.”
My breath catches, I swallow hard and can feel the palm of his hand as I do so. It’s the strangest thing; his hand on my throat is comforting. Because as long as it’s there, I know he is, too.
“Look at me, cupcake,” he demands softly. “From now on, nothing happens to you without me knowing. You go nowhere without my permission. You mistook my comment as not wanting to be with you when what I wanted was to be somewhere a little more private. The things I want and will do to you are not for public consumption. I’m a dark man, Ash. I won’t hide that.” He lowers his mouth to my ear before whispering, “When I have you screaming, I want to be sure it’s in absolute privacy. You understand me?” His voice is filled with so much anger, and I have the urge to calm the beast.
“Yes, daddy.” Shock holds us both immobile as my words register. My eyes close in embarrassment. I can’t believe I said that out loud.
I hear him curse. “Motherfucker.” When I feel his hand loosen its hold on my throat, I panic, my heart stalls, and my hands go to grip his forearm, trying to prevent him from letting me go. It only takes a second for me to register that he’s petting me, his hand moving up and down softly in praise. “Say it again,” he demands. His voice is rough like gravel.
“Yes, daddy.” My eyes close this time, enjoying his growl of empowerment.
“Fuck, cupcake.” He starts grinding his hips into me. With every pass, I feel the tip of his cock rub against my center. My desire spikes higher than I’ve ever felt before. The tightening in my womb signals my impending release—an experience I’ve never had with anyone before. It terrifies me, but I know he’ll catch me. No matter how high I fly, I know he’ll be there.
“You gonna come for me, Ash?” he asks. I hear the command in his tone, and I know if I don’t, he’ll be pissed.
“I…I…I’ll try,” I mutter, hoping that for once I can. That for the first time in my life, just maybe, I’ll be able to please someone.
His hand tightens around my neck to the point I can’t breathe again. Slamming me against the wall, my mouth opens in shock, my eyes widen in fear, and amazingly enough, my body explodes in pleasure.
“That’s my girl,” Declan coos lovingly in my ear.
My body is humming with heat and hunger. I tingle in places I had no idea could feel this type of pleasure. My limbs go numb, and I’m completely weightless. Declan has a tight hold on me so I can feel it all.
My breasts feel weighted down, my womb is contracting roughly. My pussy pulses with the need to be filled by him. I have this overwhelming urge for him let go inside of me, to feel his cum fill me so completely I taste him.
“Oh, daddy,” I purr in his ear involuntarily.
Shit.
“Fuck,” he bites out. “I’m gonna fucking cum.” Before I can say or do anything, my feet hit the ground, he rips the top of my shirt open, pushes me to my knees, and slips my breasts free of the confines of my bra.
Next thing I know, he’s got his monster cock free of his jeans, my hands are now braced on his denim-clad thighs, and he’s pumping himself in such a tight hold I fear it’ll break in half. Long streams of cum splash onto my chest, and I close my eyes, loving the heat of him. It seems to go on longer than what might be normal.
“That’s a beautiful fucking sight,” he says, and my eyes open to see a look of utter passion in his eyes. Helping me to my feet, I go to wipe his semen off when he stops me. “Don’t. It stays on. And tonight, when you get home, you won’t shower it off either. You’ll go to bed with the smell of me on you. You’ll dream of me, and in the morning, you’re going to fucking call me the second you wake up.”
I hesitate to do or say anything in fear of making him mad. His hand comes up, and I involuntarily flinch and back away. That pisses him off as he begins to rub his warm cum into my skin. It’s sticky and smells salty, but I oddly like having his stamp on my skin. When his hand dips lower towards my stomach, I panic and grab his wrist, stopping his movement. Pleading with my eyes for him to not go any further.
He growls out, “I choked you. I made you come apart and call me daddy. I dirtied your entire chest as I came all over you, yet you won’t let me touch your stomach.” I simply nod at his crude words. “Why?” he demands to know.
I freeze. I’m not ready for anyone to find out my secret. Two hours ago, I didn’t even know his name, now he wants to know why I’m so fucked up? I can’t do it. Shaking my head, I mumble brokenly, “I just can’t.”
I watch as his eyes narrow, and I can see the wheels turning in the back of his mind. “What are you hiding? What’s so important that you can’t tell me?” A light seems to click in his mind, and I feel like he might know. “Are you fucking pregnant?” His angered question has me bursting out laughing at the ludicrousness of it until I feel his hand back at my throat, tightening to the point of breathlessness again; however, I feel nothing like I did before. “This is no fucking game, Ashley. Are you?”
Shaking my head back forth as quickly as his hand allows, I let out a sigh of relief as he loosens his hold. “I swear I’m not.”
With his other hand gripping my belly over my shirt, he tells me, “I’ll let you have your privacy for now, cupcake, but it won’t be long before I demand everything you’re trying to hide. I want every fucking secret you have out on the table when I do.” I nod, knowing full-well I don’t want him upset with me. “Good.” He smiles. “Tell me, has someone hurt you?”
“No,” I respond quietly. I want to please this man. I want to be his everything. Now I’m terrified he’s going to be disgusted with me. Hate me for needing to relieve all these pent-up emotions I have.
“Why won’t you tell me then?” he asks, his voice gentler than it has been since I’ve met him. He’s running his cheek along mine, and I’m lulled into a sense of safety.
“I’m afraid,” I tell him honestly.
“Of what?”
“Shame is a wonderful motivator, and I have a lot of it. I couldn’t bear for my greatest indignity to drive you away.” By the time I’m done speaking, my voice is barely decipherable, and we’re in a standoff.
Chapter Four
Declan
Where Ashley is concerned, I have this dark desire running through my veins. The need to control her every move is a driving force within me. When she ran from the restaurant the previous night, I was pissed. I tried to go slow, get to know her, not force her hand.
I want her trust. Turns out, I’ve been going about it the wrong way. The second I put my hand around her throat, showing the girl who was ultimately in charge, she bent to my will. Like a match to a flame, she ignited for me.
I didn’t mean to take her the way I did, to be so rough, but the thrill that ran through my veins at having that type of control was exhilarating. I want more. I want everything from her and am going to take it. She can’t hide from me, I won’t let her.
After I had dropped her off at home, much to her dismay, I told her she had seventy-two hours to bare all for me before I ran right through her and figured it out on my own. And if I didn’t like what I fou
nd, then she would be strapped to a bed enduring hours of sexual torture until I had my answers.
The fear in her eyes awoke my beast.
The anticipation had my cock growing to an unnatural size.
Now, here I am waiting for her to call. I know what time she wakes up, and if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll damn well listen like I’ve instructed.
Five minutes later, my phone rings. “Yeah,” I bite out. Ashley needs to know who is in control, and by throwing her off balance, she’ll give me what I want.
“Declan?” her muffled response full of her sleepless night is sexy.
“Morning, cupcake. How’d you sleep?”
I could hear the pause in her silence, she didn’t know how to answer me. “I didn’t.” I’m pleased with her honesty.
“Why?”
“Ummm,” I can tell she’s readying herself for a lie.
“If you lie to me, Ash, you won’t like it,” I warn her. One day, she’ll forgo the hesitancy to tell me what I wish to hear rather than what she chooses to tell me.
“My brain wouldn’t shut off. It was like I was stuck in replay in that alley. I’ve never done that before.”
Chuckling at her confession, I say, “I’m glad you haven’t, and you never will with anyone else but me.”
My voice is heavy with command, so I’m unsurprised to hear her reply. “Yes, daddy.” Fuck does that get me hard as stone. I can feel my dick pulsing with the need for release, pre-cum is dripping down my shaft as her breathing halts in her chest.
Pulling my cock from its confines, I grip it as hard as I can, picturing her willing mouth waiting for my load, daddy falling from her lips.
“Declan?” she questions.
“Yeah, cupcake?”
My hand strokes faster still, pumping harder as I feel my balls draw up into my scrotum. Fuck would her tongue feel magnificent right now.
“Are you…?” I hear the hesitation in her voice, and I know she must have picked up on my labored breaths. “Are you masturbating?” Her words are barely audible.
“Fuck, yeah, I am,” I grunt as my hand slams down on my cock. “With the sight of your open, willing mouth begging to swallow my cum.” Her sharp intake of breath has me ready to explode. “You’ll consume my entire cock, won’t you, cupcake? Take all of my cum down your throat as my fist tightens around your neck.”
“Yes,” she moans.
“You’ll take as much as I want to give your hungry pussy, too, won’t you.” It’s not a question.
“God, yes!” Her breathing has picked up, and I wonder if she’s touching herself.
“And when I’m ready, you’re going to take every inch of my cock in your tight ass, won’t you?” My words are growled as I’m about to erupt.
“Yes, daddy.” And I’m done.
I grunt and groan my release. Long hot jets of cum splash against my abs and up my chest. I imagine the heat is her tongue licking up every drop as it lands on me. I’d kill to have her suck the cum from my dick like her favorite popsicle.
“Fuck, just the thought of you drinking and sucking up my cum has me ready to go again,” I tell her, wanting her to know exactly what she does to me. “Did you touch yourself, cupcake?”
“No,” she replies sadly.
“Why the fuck not?” Anger colors my words because I wish she had.
“I can’t climax like you. I’m–.” Her pause has me dreading what’s about to come out of her mouth.
“What? You’re what?” I demand.
“Broken,” she forces herself to say.
Fuck this shit. We need to have this conversation in person so I can shake the shit out of her.
“I’m coming over.”
“What? No. You can’t. I have to go to my parents today.” There’s panic in her words.
“I’m fucking coming over, Ashley, and I’ll go with you.”
I don’t give her a chance to respond before I hang up. I’d like to say I’m conscious enough to clean off the semen that has dried into my chest, but I can’t. I have this picture of her licking me clean, and I refuse to ignore it.
The dirty, filthy fucking things I want this woman to do to me and I to her are like a driving force in my blood. If they don’t happen, rage burns through me. It’s what happened the night before, and I can’t say I didn’t love every damn second of it, and she did too.
Ashley
“Shit, shit, shit!” I’m freaking out. I don’t want him to come over. I don’t want him anywhere near me. Hell, who the fuck am I kidding? I want to be surrounded by him.
What he did to me last night was the most erotic thing I’ve ever experienced. I wanted more.
Except…
What I did when I got home…
Disgrace ran through me.
Looking at my thighs, the blood had dried on them. Last night, rivulets ran down my legs to my ankles. The release unlike any other before. I hadn’t even felt the burn of the razor as it sliced my skin. All I knew was the euphoria.
What if he finds out?
I want this man like I’ve never wanted anything before, and if he realizes what I do to myself, I’m afraid I’ll never see him again.
Not knowing how long before he’ll be here, I rush through a shower to wipe away any evidence of my dirty secret. Just like when Zach comes by, I collect the few razor blades I have, putting them in a bag and shoving them in the back of the toilet.
I need help. I know I do. There’s a glitch in my brain that I can’t seem to turn off, or maybe, it’s that I can’t turn it on. I have a hard time expressing my emotions. Cutting is the only way to expel them. I never meant to do it. It was accidental, but the relief? God, did that feel good.
Standing naked in my bedroom, I trail my finger down a deep, red scar right beside my belly button. I had cut too deep, too long. Closing my eyes, I can remember the burn, the blood as it slid down the side of my stomach while I was laying down. With every drop that hit the mattress, I could feel all the pain, fear, and sorrow leave my body. I wasn’t afraid of my punishment in that moment; I didn’t feel the pain from the beating I’d taken from my cellmate.
Best of all, the terror that had taken hold since my conviction washed away like tears in the rain. I felt…Nothing. It was fucking glorious. And addicting.
Knocking on the door startled me from my thoughts. “Son of a bitch.” He was here. Panicking, I raced to get dressed, all the while I could hear him calling my name. “Hang the hell on!” I finally scream back.
Pulling the door open, I’m momentarily stunned by his presence. A form-fitting Henley with sleeves rolled halfway up his arms showcases every muscle in his chiseled torso. Tattoos peak out around his neck. Boot-cut jeans cling to his masculine thighs, and I can see the bulge in his crotch, unsure if it’s just how large he is or if he’s getting hard. My eyes skitter back up to his.
“I told you not to come,” I snap, turning around, eyeing my small apartment for imperfections or clues.
“And I told you I was coming.” His voice heats up at the last word, just as his hand tangles in my hair pulling me back towards him. “Don’t,” he growls, “walk away from me.”
“You don’t–.” Before I can finish, his grip tightens, my scalp tingles, and I’m forced to my tippy toes.
“Don’t finish that.” There’s a threat in his voice.
Lust zips through my entire body at the dark undertones of his voice. I can feel my breasts getting heavier, my panties dampening, my womb contracting. I’m sure he doesn’t miss the fact that my breathing hitches either.
“Last warning.” I feel his breath on the side of my neck. “Don’t fuck with me, Ashley.” His lips connect softly to my skin just as his mouth opens, and I feel his teeth bite down, and he sucks hard.
Hissing in a sharp breath, I know that from the moment of pain there is going to be a deep bruise there, and I won’t be able to hide it.
This man. God, this man. He does things to my body I never would have ima
gined before. Never would have consented to, let alone enjoy. I have a hard time correlating my need to fix my life with my need for him.
Without letting his grip on me go, Declan walks us over to my small ratty sofa. Sitting down, I’m forced on his lap by his hold on my hair.
“Will you let me go?” I ask as he plants one large hand on the inside of my thigh, just brushing his fingers against my core. My body tenses because he’s got his warm palm covering the spot where I’d cut last night. I’m nearly vibrating with tension and trying to control my reaction when he yanks my head back, so I’m flush to his chest.
“Relax,” he purrs roughly in my ear. “Now tell me why you think you’re so damn broken.”
How do I tell a man that’s larger than life, a man that oozes sex that I’ve fucked my way through a dozen or more men and women to find some kind of pleasure? How do I make him understand I did it to feel something?
“I just…am.” It’s lame.
With his hand still on my thigh, he lifts it, slapping down. The whip-cracking sound precedes the pain as I gasp. “Tell me,” he demands.
I shake my head from side to side. I will fight him with everything I am. Another slap, this time closer to my heated core. The burn is still the same, except there’s an inkling of pleasure.
“Fuck. You. Declan.” I bite out between clenched teeth. I don’t know why I’m baiting him. He can easily overpower me, do whatever he wants, and there isn’t a single thing I can do to stop him. A sick part of me wants to see how far I get pushing him. The rest, well, she’s screaming in fear.
“You sure you want to play this game, little girl?” His voice is full of fire and just as deadly, too.
Remaining quiet, I wait. An alarmed quiver runs through my bloodstream. I both hate it and love it.
“You’ll tell me, cupcake,” he breathes in my ear. “Or I’ll strip you down right here, right now, and take my belt to your bare ass.”
My body locks in terror. His threat is real.
