Her heart lurched to a stop and her blood ran cold.
“Oh, God, doll,” Brady whispered. He was parked in the chair which remained empty when the three of them were alone. Grief washed over the handsome cowboy’s face.
She looked back at the chair where Brady usually sat and stared into the shocked eyes of her brother. “Collin.” She shook her head and blinked. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” he snapped in an irate voice. “Our mother could have died and you’re asking me what I’m doing here?” He shoved a hand through his sandy colored hair and anger darkened his features. “The question is what are you doing here? And did you fuck one of my friend’s?”
She blinked in disbelief and horror. “First off that’s two questions. Second, I’m moving back to the ranch.” Her temper flared and every ounce of resentment she had for Collin never being there boiled to the surface. Her vindictive streak kicked in. “And lastly for the record, I didn’t fuck your friends, I’ve had sex with both of them.”
Collin rose to his feet as his fist hit the table. “You sons of bitches. How could you?”
Felicia shivered with nervous shock and stared at her brother. “Don’t ever call them names or I’ll knock your teeth clear back to Egypt.”
“Felicia!” Mickey stepped to her side and she turned her gaze on one of the two men who held her heart. “This is a bit of a surprise for him I’m sure.”
“A surprise?” her brother yelled at Mickey. “She was supposed to be getting married to a high power Beverly Hills attorney. Instead she calls off the wedding, comes here and decides to have sexual adventures with you and Brady.”
“It’s not like that Collin,” Brady warned tersely.
“At least, unlike you, they’ve been there for me.”
Collin rose from the table with a lethal glare. “You’re behavior just about killed mom and I hold these two just as accountable.”
Felicia absorbed her brother’s words as gracefully as a slap in the face. Her pride stung, anger raged and she carried more than her weight in resentment.”
“Get your stuff, your leaving.”
He’s kidding right?
“Fuck you! I know you’ve been absent a lot while I was growing up, but just a quick reminder, I’m a consenting adult.” She spun on her heel and retreated to the safety of Mickey’s arms. The ramifications of the situation hit Felicia full force. There was no way he or her mother was going to let her be with Mickey and Brady.
“You failed me Collin! It was never about anyone or anything but you, your career, and your whims and as bad as you were when it came to being there for the people you loved; I had to be good.” Grief and despair swamped her. “I hate you.”
He shook his head. “You don’t mean that.”
The words had fallen out in a whisper, but by God, she meant the three-word statement. “No, I really mean that. I hate you and resent mom for living vicariously through me. You can both go to hell.” The simple and sometimes overused statement summed up how she felt. Felt—as in feel.
That’s what’s been missing.
She hadn’t felt until she had come to the ranch and had done things that boarded on scandalous. Not that long ago she had thought herself lacking as a sexual creature, someone who was nothing more than a passing look on the street. Now, she knew different and that changed everything. All this time, she had missed out on both Mickey and Brady. The three were amazing both sexually and in business. Now both Collin and her mother looked at the situation as a travesty.
Why do I have to be so good, when I’m a better person bad? Not to mention happy. Right, happiness doesn’t count, just the right thing to do.
She stared at her brother as if he were a complete stranger. Only you don’t feel a strong dislike for people you don’t know or pass on the street, not to the extent she disliked her only sibling. “I mean it. I hate you and I’m quite sure I hate mom.”
“Felicia!” The sigh of desperation from Brady meant nothing. She was angry. No…angry was an understatement, she was hurt to her core, the very root of her soul. What the hell? Romance novels lied. There was no happily ever after…then again, rarely were there two heroes, both who ruled the heroine’s heart.
This was her life…or so she thought. Right about now, she didn’t know what to think, but she did know the situation was beyond fair and rational. She longed to be young and without a care; she didn’t want to be the perfect daughter or fiancée. She wanted to go back and be the center of Brady and Mickey’s universe.
Felicia wanted happiness, and for a brief blink in time she had experienced what it had been like to feel whole, like nothing was impossible and she mattered. Finally, she had known what it was like to be cherished. This moment, however, had nothing to do with what she wanted or even needed. Felicia glared at her brother who could do no wrong, and for whatever reason, even though he was never there for her either, her mother made excuses for.
“You’re scaring me,” Collin’s words fell on deaf ears and a numb heart. Did she even have a heart anymore? Again, she didn’t know, but she recognized the sensations that accompanied her body shutting down and her soul and nerves going into protect yourself mode.
“I don’t care.” A lie, but under the circumstance, what could she say? How could everything she wanted, everything that had felt so right end up being completely wrong? “I hate you, I hate mom and I hate this situation.” Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I also know I’m not strong enough to fight. I give up.” Her heart again became an empty void. How did the heartbeats that meant life just stop? Hers had, and there was no going back.
“Felicia—” The expression on her brother’s face changed to one she didn’t recognize. The damage was done. She didn’t care about the wounded feelings he might possess due to her statements. If he wanted analysis and understanding he could bitch to their mother—pacifying her beloved son was her hobby. He wasn’t going to get anything from Felicia. She had nothing left to give.
But, she did have more to say. “Meanwhile, while you care only about yourself, I die inside, but that doesn’t matter, does it?” Her voice cracked from the well of water forming behind her eyes about to let loose like a broken dam. How could the threat of tears affect her voice? She refused to give into the emotions wracking her soul, and more, assaulting her composure. There was nothing emotional in pretending everything was fine.
It was in that moment that her heart hit the floor like shards of broken crystal—once the perfect ornament—nothing more than broken pieces. That’s all she was—now, remnants of an existence based on what could have been.
“You and mom can rule my life but I would rather meet death than marry Paul.”
“Felicia, take that back.” Panic flooded every syllable that had left Brady’s mouth.
“Nope.” She continued to glare at her brother. “You can stick around till mom is better then go back to being as useless as you always were. Because the good lord knows when I needed you the most it was Brady and Mickey there. Not you. You were the letdown.” She hated and most certainly resented the fact heavy tears spiked her lashes.
She spun around to Mickey and Brady. Where were her knights in shining armor? Her cowboy heroes. That’s right, they were rendered speechless. As if that was an excuse? “As for the two of you, when I need you the most you’re an epic fail.”
Unsure how much longer she could keep the threatening tears at bay, she continued. “Surrender. I totally surrender.” She glanced back at Collin. Venom and poison filled her veins where blood once traveled. “I really hate you, this just cost me my heart and soul.”
Felicia shoved her fingers through her wayward ringlets. Only part of them pulled back and remained under control, the rest fell in an uncontrollable mess, in a lot of ways just like her.
“Stop saying you hate me.”
She stared at her brother with a bit of awe. “I can’t.” Again, her voice quavered with imminent tears.
�
��Doll—” Hearing the single word on Mickey’s lips seemed to fall in the ultimate betrayal category.
“Save it.”
Resistance was lost and fat tears bounced over her bottom lashes and ran down her cheeks. Pain blinked back at her, but she had shut down to the point of not caring. She no longer had a soul. Why should Mickey, Brady or even her brother be exempt from the pain?
A lady knew when to leave and this was her exit. “Later boys, and do me a favor…” Did she have that much courage to say what she wanted to say? Yeah, she did. “Don’t kill each other, though it might be easier for me to deal with.”
Mickey gasped and she denied the fresh tears as she shoved past her brother and walked toward the door. She grabbed her purse sitting on the table by the entrance yanked the door open, and glanced up at the sunny blue sky. She shook her head. How could the sun be shining in her dark world? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath then stepped through the door and slammed it behind her with a bit more vengeance than required. For a moment in time her life had been perfect and on her terms. Now…she was walking into the perfect life for others.
More tears fell and bounced off her cheeks, but hey that was par for the course, right? This was what everyone felt when they had officially sold their soul to the devil.
Mickey walked into the ranch home. It didn’t matter the time of day, the Lexus convertible wasn’t parked in the drive which meant Felicia wasn’t in the office or kitchen waiting with a smile and a kiss. Never had the place seemed lonely—until now. He crossed over the threshold and glanced into the office. Brady stared out the large picture window. The office phone rang and yet his friend ignored the irritating ring. Mickey walked over to the sound and picked up the phone. “Hello.”
“Thank Jesus,” Clarissa Morgan barked through the receiver. “Thank, God. Someone finally answered; I’ve been calling for over two hours. I have no idea what is going on at that house and I’m just glad Felicia isn’t caught up in it, anymore.”
His heart clenched and it hurt to breathe. Mickey’s temper spiked up a notch. “What do you want?” He gritted his teeth so hard his jaw ached.
“Well, I think the wedding is going to be back on so I want you and that partner of yours to continue keeping your distance. Also pack up everything in her room and bring it to the house here in town. I’ll store it for her. She won’t be spending anytime out there after she’s married, so no sense keeping her stuff any longer.”
No. No to her marrying Paul and especially no to packing up her stuff. His stomach roiled with acid and he glanced at Brady who spun in the chair to rest his distant stare on Mickey.
“We’re kind of busy here, right now. I’ll see what we can do. Have a nice day Mrs. Morgan.” He hung up the phone.
“What the hell did she want?” Bitterness coated every word.
He couldn’t blame Brady. Between Clarissaand Collin their lives had been turned upside down, and both men knew Felicia was a mess. She hadn’t called or texted either of them. “To continue to keep our distance and to pack up Felicia’s room and take the stuff to her place, she’s going to hold it for her.” He paced the floor and the weight on his chest grew heavier. “According to Mrs. M, the wedding is back on.”
Brady’s blue gaze didn’t waiver. His expression never changed and the man didn’t even flinch. “No.”
Mickey wasn’t sure if Brady was experiencing denial or had that much confidence. “She said—”
“I don’t give a shit what Clarissa says. Felicia won’t marry Paul. Yes, she’s trying to make her family happy, but she won’t marry him.” He sighed heavily and struggled to inhale. “She experienced the impossible—she got a taste of what it was like to have us every day and in every way possible.”
“And she walked away from us like it meant nothing.” Now Mickey sounded bitter. By God he was. He resentment was soul deep. “We didn’t even get a chance to tell her a hundred times how much we loved her or give her the horse, bought just for her.” Pain seared Mickey’s soul. “I wonder if I imagined everything and if she really did love us.”
Brady leaned back in the desk chair and shook his head. “You don’t believe that. You know damn well, right about now, she is probably cried out and hating life. She’ll come back and when she does, Collin and Clarissa won’t have a snowballs chance in hell.”
Mickey felt jealous about Brady’s confidence, but down deep he knew the other man had brought up valid points. “She isn’t one to settle.”
“That’s my point. There’s no way, now she knows she can have us both and be happy—nothing else will do.”
Mickey shook his head. “She may be stubborn like me, but damn that girl has expensive tastes like you. Nothing but the best.”
Brady cracked a grin. “That’s what I have with the both of you and so help me, there’s no way Felicia is going to ever be forced to marry Paul.”
The undercurrent in his tone raised the hairs on Mickey’s neck. “You sound sure about that.”
“I am. Even if it means kidnapping the bride.”
Mickey chuckled. Brady’s words proved great minds did think alike. “The thought crossed my mind.”
His friend’s expression became serious. “Mark my words, it won’t come to that. She’ll be back.”
He nodded and hoped for all their hearts that Brady was right.
This is death.
Felicia finally glanced up from the battle size book of wedding invitations. She darted a glance at her mother and brother who sat at the table with Paul and the wedding planner. Her mother lied about today. She told Felicia she and Collin were going to take her for lunch. Instead, they were sitting with Paul in a wedding boutique. Her car was at Jen’s place since she’d been staying with her since she’d walked out of the ranch house.
Mickey and Brady had been silent, no doubt out of respect for the two people posing as her caring family. She still resented Collin and her mom both—not that either noticed. All her mother cared about was that the perfect wedding was back on—at least in her mind—because Felicia still had no intention of marrying the asshole. As for Collin, their mother was happy so what else mattered?
“These invitations are part of our exclusive line.” The wedding planner slapped the flamboyant invitations down. She met Felicia’s gaze and cast a snide smirk. “They’re very expensive.”
Holy hell and tacky as all get up.
She blinked and took in the details of the top one. .
Is that white fun fur? Jesus, save me from this.
Her last thought was caught somewhere between a plea and a prayer. She heaved a sigh and glanced out the large window of the bridal shop she had no desire to be sitting in. Felicia wanted to be elsewhere…like back at the ranch with Mickey and Brady. Only now, she doubted them. The cowboys had failed her when she’d needed them the most and whatever love they had for her came second to their friendship with her brother.
Her heart constricted and again it hurt to breathe. She struggled to focus on the voices conversing around her.
“These are so classy,” her mother’s voice cut deep into her pity party and she turned to the woman who had brought her into the world. Clutched in her hands was a white invitation with pink ribbon bows.
“For a baby shower.” The words fell off her tongue before her brain could catch up.
“Don’t be cynical!” Paul scolded then rolled his eyes. “They’re expensive and therefore perfect.”
Felicia blinked at him in disbelief. He was kidding…right? But the expression on his face told her the bastard was sincere. “The ribbon is pink.”
He cast a leveled gaze in her direction; the contempt in his eyes wasn’t hard to miss. “It’s a God damn invitation. My mother will love them. Pink is her favorite color.”
I knew there was a reason I disliked the bitch. “I hate it.” She struggled to breathe as the weight on her chest became heavier. “I hate pink.”
Paul furrowed his brows. “Since when?”
A bump to the table and a fidget from her brother had her cast a sideway glance. His brows furrowed as he studied Paul. “Since never.”
Points for Collin, the dude woke up.
“Please tell me this isn’t open for debate.” Her mother’s whine…yeah at best it could be described as a whine, broke the terse moment. “I agree with Paul, they’re perfect.”
Another knee jerk from Collin sent her purse off the table to the floor. A brand new copper penny rolled out, then spun and stopped. Inhaling and exhaling became impossible. She hadn’t used the purse since the day in the bridal shop when trying on dresses. The penny had been from Brady, like countless others. Hundreds of others.
Felicia blinked and fought back the sting of threatening tears and bent to pick up the purse. She rose and walked toward the penny. As she bent to pick it up she caught a glimpse of Paul’s hand half way up the wedding planner’s skirt.
Nausea kicked her stomach. She wanted to throw up. A leopard couldn’t change its spots and Paul would forever be a cheater. Ignoring the rollercoaster of emotion, her fingers wrapped around the copper coin. As she came to an upright position reality hit.
No more pennies. Ever.
As everything disappeared around her all she could see was her life flash before her eyes.
A penny for your thoughts.
Images, life experiences darted through her mind, all in living color as each time she was sad or heartbroken over the years, Brady found her, no matter where she hid and always had a shiny new penny in tote.
A penny for your thoughts.
Her stomach clenched then rolled as if she’d just taken a sucker punch to the gut. In one hand, she held her purse in the other between her forefinger and thumb she grasped the copper coin as if it were life support.
A penny for your thoughts.
“Felicia, your ghost white.” Her brother’s voice lifted her gaze and she struggled to focus on him as her lungs ceased to function.
Bad Bride Good Cowboys Page 12
