by Red Phoenix
He closes his eyes and murmurs under his breath, “Mamulya…”
Hearing him speak of his mother sets me on edge. “Unlike you, I’m an only child, and you know the scandal the erupted in the media, following his death. I never imagined I could feel so alone at the age of fifteen.”
“I understand that feeling, da,” he says in solemn voice.
“As only someone unfortunate enough to walk in our shoes could,” I mutter, downing my own drink.
“Agreed, moy droog.”
I know the phrase means “my friend”. After being isolated and alone for so long, he cannot know what those two simple words mean to me.
I pour another shot for both of us and hold my glass up to him. “Moy droog.”
He smiles before gulping down the vodka and grabbing another pickle. “So, what happened to your mother? The story was all over the news and then she virtually disappeared.”
The question jars me even though I should have expected it. Just as I did with my roommate, I hide my instinctual reaction whenever my mother is mentioned, but I surprise myself by admitting something I have kept buried out of shame.
“Do you know I loved my mother deeply? Possibly even more than my father?”
Oh God, how it hurts, facing that truth now…
In the span of a few years I’ve lost everything—my parents, my innocence, and all I’ve held to be true. “I will tell you about her someday, Anton. However, I am unwilling to discuss what happened now.”
No amount of vodka could open up those floodgates.
Durov nods in understanding. “You and I hold many secrets only we and God know.”
“I would agree, except I don’t believe in a God.”
He stares at me in shock. “You don’t?”
I shake my head. “How can I? No omniscient being who ‘cares’ would allow the things that have happened to us.”
“I beg to differ, moy droog. God may be all-knowing, but he cannot interfere. To do so would be the same as treating us like caged animals. Manipulating our fates is no different than putting us in prison and robbing us of free will. Change only happens under adversity. Who would want to live in a world where everything was given to us without a struggle? We would be no different than pet rabbits.”
“Well, I for one do not care to live in a world where violence and pain is the norm.”
“But it’s not, comrade,” he insists. “Think of your friend Anderson. He has no idea what real pain is, having been spared of it growing up. It’s not by design but by chance that we have faced the things we have. Life is a balance—for there to be good in the world, there must also be bad. Our time will come, eventually. I’m sure of it.”
“If you believe it’s all chance, than why believe there is a God?”
“Because there is an order and beauty to the world that cannot be explained,” he states.
I have never admitted to anyone that there have been times when I’ve been alone in the dark, trying to sleep, and have questioned why the natural world always seems to obey the laws of mathematics. As Durov said, there seems to be an order that makes no sense unless there is a Creator who set the mathematical foundation that makes of our universe fathomable.
“While I may agree with you on some level, Durov, the idea that an omniscient being stands back and watches his creations suffer seems cruel and inhumane.”
Durov laughs. “Not if he’s a sadist.”
“God as a sadist…now there’s something I never considered,” I chuckle.
His voice has almost a wistful tone to it when he tells me, “I’ve had moments when the simple beauty of a sunset, the immensity of the universe, or the sheer miracle of life itself has humbled me to the core. I do not question if there is a Creator because the proof of His work is all around me.”
“If that is true, then I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“How do we get in God’s good graces?”
Durov throws back his head and laughs. “Moy droog, if I knew that, I would not be here with you now.”
With uninterrupted time on our hands, I ask Durov if we can spend time at the dungeon so I can observe and learn. I’m like a sponge as I watch the other Dominants interacting with their submissives.
Durov has previously informed me that most of the Doms at this dungeon are sadists, and I can already tell that that is not where my interests lie.
I enjoy exploring a woman’s body. Finding out where her erogenous zones are so that I can tease and torment them with pleasure rather than pain. However, I am curious about the pain aspect of masochism, and I wonder if it can act as an aphrodisiac even for those who are not so inclined.
“Moy droog, I like your enthusiasm!” Durov tells me when I ask to go to the dungeon after having just visited it the previous night.
“There is a lot to learn. Although there are aspects of BDSM I can acquire from books, observation is proving far more valuable to me.”
He smacks me on the back. “You have a lifetime of learning ahead, comrade. There is no need to learn it all at once. Although observation is valuable, it’s important to dip your feet in, as well.”
I understand what he is saying, but I am a perfectionist at heart, and I do not handle failure well in even the smallest detail. It’s the reason I excel in whatever I put my mind to, but I realize it also holds me back.
It is a weakness of mine…
The smell of leather, sweat, and sex invades my nostrils as we enter the dungeon. Determined to push myself, I feel a heightened sense of exhilaration.
“What first, moy droog?”
“I would like to observe first.”
He rolls his eyes, sounding disappointed. “Of course.”
I don’t mind Durov giving me a hard time, because I know his tune will change when I make my request later tonight.
I scan the room looking, for something new I haven’t seen played out before. I find it in Mistress Azure. She has her submissive bound to a table, naked, her ankles tied to the legs of the table and her ass resting on the edge, the perfect level for fucking.
The submissive’s wrists are bound at her sides, with her neck held in place with metal restraints bolted to the table and secured with locks. The woman is completely helpless, and knowing that turns me on.
The Mistress prepares, meticulously placing each item she is going to use on a tray—antiseptic liquid, cotton balls, a set of nipple clamps, gloves and two long needles. She looks as her submissive when she is done and smiles.
“Are you excited, songbird?”
The girl can only stare up at the ceiling because of the neck restraint but replies excitedly, “I am, Mistress.”
“You have waited a long time for this.”
The girl grins as she answers, “I have.”
Mistress Azure wets a cotton ball with the antiseptic, then, with the sensual movements of a lover, she coats the sub’s left nipple. The coldness of the liquid drying on her skin causes both the sub’s nipples to harden into peaks.
I notice the girl’s chest rising and falling more rapidly as her mistress sets the used cotton ball down. Mistress Azure begins speaking to the girl in low tones that only she can hear while caressing her lower stomach in concentric circles with her long fingernails.
The act itself is very erotic, and I watch with growing interest.
The Domme leans down and hesitates for a moment before lightly kissing the top of her submissive’s bare mound.
The girl whimpers in pleasure.
Her Mistress picks up one of the nipple clamps and places it on the areola of her left breast, tightening it so the nipple stands pert and ready for attention. She then lightly stimulates it with her fingers, causing the girl to moan with pleasure.
Mistress Azure picks up the gloves and slowly slips them both onto her hands, purposely standing where her sub can see her. She never takes her eyes off the girl, drawing out every second, intentionally building up the tension.
I admire how she keeps her sub her sole focus the entire time. Even though they are playing this scene out in public, the intimate way she treats her submissive makes it feel as if they are alone in a private setting.
I prefer that to the grandstanding some of the Dominants indulge in when they scene at the dungeon with a sub. It’s obvious to me that, based on those Doms’ words and actions, they are catering to their own egos.
I find it tiresome.
Fortunately, Mistress Azure is gracing me with a peek into what it must look like when a D/s scene is played out in the privacy of the bedroom.
She picks up one of the needles and runs her fingers down the length of it. “Are you ready, songbird?”
Her sub answers enthusiastically, “Yes, Mistress.”
I unknowingly hold my breath as I watch the Domme grip the nipple clamp with one hand as she sets the sharp needle against the girl’s tender flesh.
Again, she hesitates for a moment, drawing out this experience, before slowly inserting the large needle through her nipple.
The girl gasps and then starts moaning in pain as the needle pieces the skin. Her Mistress praises her as she continues to push it slowly through the nipple and out the other side.
“Oh, yes,” Mistress Azure purrs. “You did well, songbird.”
The girl is breathing quickly, her body covered in goosebumps.
“And now for the second one.”
Having just experienced it, the girl is familiar with the level of pain involved. I know she has been given a safeword but, instead of calling it, she says, “Thank you, Mistress.”
Her Domme moves even slower as she prepares the second nipple, and it is easy to see the girl is completely focused on her Mistress’s every touch and movement.
After she places the second needle against her nipple, she asks, “What do you want, songbird?”
“I want to feel the needle, Mistress.”
“Your wish is my command,” Mistress Azure murmurs, as she slowly pushes the needle through her right nipple. Again, the girl cries out, her breath coming in short gasps.
“I want you to relish this pain. This is all for you.”
Once the needle is in place, Mistress Azure takes off her gloves and leans over her sub. “Brace yourself, pet.”
The Domme takes hold of both nipple clamps and releases them at the same time.
The girl stiffens as the blood rushes to her nipples and her moans can be heard throughout the dungeon.
Once she quiets, her Mistress purrs, “I am not done with you yet.”
Mistress Azure moves where her submissive can see her, commanding her to watch as she straps on a black dildo with the same sexual titillation she would be using if she were doing a striptease.
She then covers the thick phallus with lubricant, moaning seductively as she grasps it and rubs the whole length repeatedly with her hand.
After cleaning off her hands, Mistress Azure leans down and kisses her sub on the lips. “I am going to fuck you until you scream.”
The girl makes little excited chirping sounds as her Mistress moves into position. I now understand the reason for her pet name.
Knowing the girl cannot see what her Mistress is doing because of the metal restraint around her neck adds to the excitement of the scene, I like the element of the unknown that the restraint adds and must applaud Mistress Azure.
Mistress Azure’s eyes shine with lust as she begins by rubbing the dildo against her sub’s pussy, coating it with lubricant from the dildo before thrusting it into her.
Songbird becomes completely silent while her body is forced to take the length of the shaft. Mistress Azure then grabs her hips and begins fucking her with the phallus. Her strokes are slow but deep, challenging the sub with each thrust.
When the Domme begins rolling her hips in a circular motion, I notice the goosebumps returning to the girl’s skin and the chirping starts up again.
“Tell me when you’re close,” Mistress Azure commands as she leans forward, forcing the dildo even deeper.
Soon the girl starts panting. “Oh…oh…ohhh….”
My cock hardens the closer she gets to climaxing, and it almost feels as if I am joining in their sexual experience.
“Mistress…!” she finally cries.
The Domme thrusts hard, then leans in. “Yes, songbird?”
“I’m close, so close…”
“Good girl.”
Mistress Azure leans in, giving a powerful thrust while reaching up and flicking the needles piercing her nipples.
The girl’s mouth falls open as her back arches and her eyes roll back, no sound escaping her lips. Then her whole body starts shaking violently as an intense orgasm overtakes her.
Mistress Azure holds herself still, but continues to flick the needles as her sub orgasms. A loud scream escapes her sub’s lips just before her whole body stiffens and becomes still.
Pulling out, the Domme pets her sub’s swollen red pussy. She unstraps the dildo and lays it gently on the table.
Walking up beside her sub’s head, she moves a strand of hair from her face. “Nothing is more satisfying that a long-awaited reward…” she murmurs as she unlocks the neck restraint and undoes all the bindings.
The sub has yet to move or respond to her. Mistress Azure begins caressing her face. “Return to your Mistress.”
When the girl remains unresponsive, the Domme slaps her face lightly. “Songbird.”
I see the girl’s eyes flutter momentarily, and then she opens them wide and looks up at her Mistress, smiling.
“I screamed, Mistress.”
“Yes, you did,” she purrs, leaning down and kissing her.
With the scene complete, I turn away, commanding my cock to calm the fuck down as I leave in search of the Russian.
Learning by Example
I walk up just as Durov is finishing his scene. The older sub he was just playing with is still crying, her back covered in large welts.
Durov lifts her chin up and kisses her hard, obviously turned on by the intense power exchange. “Your tears bring me great pleasure,” he tells her.
Her gaze slowly turns from him to the whip in his hands. “Your cat-o’-nines frees me like nothing else can.”
Durov unbinds her and orders, “Kiss it.”
With reverence, she takes the wicked looking leather strands that have caused the many angry looking marks on her back and kisses each one. Afterward, she smiles up at him gratefully.
“Thank you, Rytsar.”
He nods with satisfaction. “You may go.”
She seems a little unsure on her feet when she gets up, so Durov holds out his hand and helps her to balance.
“Thank you again, Rytsar,” she replies with a respectful bow, before she leaves.
Durov pounds his chest afterward. “How I love playing with my ’nines!”
“It must have been intense, based on the numerous welts on her back and that huge grin on your face.”
He grins even wider as he looks in her direction. “It was, comrade! She had much to release.”
While he begins the task of cleaning off his whip, I decide the time has come to make my request. “Durov.”
“Yes, moy droog?”
“I want to understand how pain can translate into pleasure and would like you to teach me.”
He smirks. “Why not learn from the best?”
I chuckle, amused by his cocky self-assurance. However, based on how the submissives in the dungeon flock to him, I know his confidence is not misplaced.
I start unbuttoning my shirt.
Durov stares at me with a look of shock. “What are you doing?”
“I want you to teach me using your cat-o’-nines,” I answer, glancing at the harsh instrument he holds in his hand as I shrug off my shirt.
He looks at me in stunned silence when I lay my shirt on a chair and walk over to a pole, putting my wrists in the metal bindings.
“Nyet.”
I turn my head
back toward him, concerned that I’ve offended him. “What do you mean no?”
“I will not do it like this,” he growls, spitting on the ground. “It…reminds me too much of my childhood.”
I’m unsure what has him upset, but I bring my arms down slowly and turn to face him. “How can I understand it if I don’t experience it myself?”
“True, comrade…” His shakes his head, chuckling when he adds, “But when I suggested you to dip your feet in, I never thought this is the direction you would go.”
I’m not embarrassed by my request and ask, “How can I be an effective Dominant if I don’t experience the receiving end? It’s the only way to truly understand the connection between pain and pleasure that so many submissives here seem to thrive on.”
He frowns. “Do you consider yourself a masochist by nature?”
“No. Pain is definitely not the way I derive sexual pleasure.”
“Then that makes what you are proposing even more difficult.”
“Too much of a challenge for you, Durov?”
He snorts. “I like your tenacity, comrade.” Glancing around the room, he mutters quietly to me, “However, we may never hear the end of it in this dungeon if I go through with the scene.”
“If it happens, so be it,” I reply. “I’ve been dragged through the coals in front of the whole world, so ribbing by a handful of Doms will be a cakewalk for me.”
Durov raises an eyebrow. “You know, you would not be the only virgin here.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, thinking he’s kidding.
“I have never scened with a man before.”
I chuckle. “Great. Two virgins doing it for the first time in front of an audience of Doms…”
Durov laughs.
This is too important to me to joke about, so I look him in the eye and ask, “Are you willing to teach me?”
He sighs. “If I do this, I will have to make certain adjustments…”
“I trust you completely.”
Durov smirks. “Maybe you shouldn’t, moy droog.”
Scanning the room, his eyes settle on a spot on the other end of the room. “There is where we’ll do it,” he tells me, pointing. “Get my submissive shade,” he barks to one of the subs standing nearby. “Tell her I need her now.”
