“I borrowed Mark’s car and thought I would come visit. I wanted to talk with you.”
“Brandon, now’s not a good time…” she responds, hoping desperately Nathan won’t arrive while Brandon is here. Brandon is a topic she hasn’t discussed with Nathan, and she doesn’t want to have to explain herself tonight.
“When is it a good time Claire?” His voice is pleading, and Claire can feel him chipping her walls away, piece by piece.
“I don’t know.” Her voice is once again a whisper as she looks away from his eyes. They continue to stand in the doorframe as his presence shadows her body. “I have a date,” she blurts out.
He inhales and exhales fiercely, as though she has thrust a dagger into his heart. His fists are clenched at his sides.
“I’m sorry, Brandon. I don’t know what else to say.”
“This isn’t the end of us, Claire. This isn’t the end.”
The conversation is cut short as they hear footsteps shuffling behind. Brandon turns his head. To Claire’s dread, Nathan walks to the door, sizing Brandon up and down. Nathan is almost Brandon’s height and build. Claire isn’t sure who would win in a fight, but she would bet her money on Brandon. She knows how fierce his anger can be.
Nathan doesn’t say anything at first, so Claire decides to be the one to ease the tension. “Brandon, this is Nathan Lang. Nathan, Brandon Wilson.” The two men don’t shake hands as they continue to stare into each other’s eyes.
“So, you’re the guy on the news. The one who owned the car theft ring and kidnapped Claire.”
Brandon winces. Claire knows his past will haunt him till the day he dies. How can they be together when he is known as her kidnapper? Claire grabs Nathan’s arm and pulls him inside, fearful of a fistfight breaking out at her apartment door. If Brandon gets in legal trouble now, he can kiss his parole goodbye.
“Brandon was just leaving,” she says, removing her gaze from his. She has to get him out of this situation before he does something he’ll regret.
“Claire…” His voice is once again pleading, and Claire’s heart is close to shattering into millions of pieces. All he has to do is kiss her. That would be all it took for her to sacrifice everything inside of her to be with him. His kiss is a secret weapon he doesn’t even know he possesses. It is a weapon so powerful, she is sure he could have everything he ever wanted if he used it on her. But she isn’t ready for that; not here and not now.
“We’ll talk, Brandon; just not now. I’ll…be in touch.” She still can’t look into his eyes as she leans against the door. Her body is shaking. She knows she’ll have to face Brandon eventually. What’s more, she’ll have to do some explaining to Nathan tonight. She doesn’t want to do either. Instead, she wants to climb in her car and disappear down I-75, leaving all these problems behind.
Brandon opens his mouth to speak, then stops. She watches him run his hand down his face, a sure sign of his frustration, as he turns around and walks away. She watches him walk down the sidewalk and continues to watch even after he has disappeared from sight.
She isn’t sure how long she stands there, staring into the darkness, when she feels Nathan’s hand on her shoulder.
“Are you going to be okay? Did he try to hurt you?” Nathan’s voice is soft, and Claire turns her attention to his beautiful face. He looks different from Brandon, but beautiful just the same. He has sandy blonde hair with crisp blue eyes. She is sure Nathan has women standing in line to date him, and here she is, in love with an ex-criminal.
“I’m fine. Let’s get out of here.” She knows she will have to explain the situation to him at dinner, but as she stares at his face, she has only one desire. She walks over to him and pulls him into her arms. She crushes her lips to his, and he responds by kissing her back and wrapping his arms around her.
They have kissed plenty of times before, but never like this. The intensity is deep and fierce. She deepens the kiss, trying to wipe the memory of Brandon out of her mind. Nathan is a good-looking man, and the one she knows she should be with. Any girl in her right mind would see this for what it was. She feels his tongue in her mouth and feels his hands slipping up her back. Then, suddenly, it’s over. He pulls away, resting his forehead on hers.
“What was that, Claire? You’ve never come onto me like that before. Does this have something to do with that guy?”
Claire opens her eyes to see Nathan’s clear blue eyes looking right into her own. She doesn’t have any words to say to him as the guilt starts to flood her body. What has she just done? Nathan is a good man who doesn’t deserve any of this.
“I’m sorry. I’m not sure what that was,” she lies, knowing the truth is as evident as a neon light flashing over her head, screaming of her selfishness.
“Let’s go then,” he says, but his tone is flat. Claire grabs his hand and follows him out of the apartment. She realizes she will have to face this head-on soon, but at the moment, she wants to delay the inevitable.
Maybe it’s because she’s weak, or maybe because she’s selfish. She doesn’t know what the answer is, but she will have to figure it out soon. The weight of the problem is causing her anxiety to kick into full gear.
She knows her decision will determine the rest of her life.
DINNER ISN’T WHAT Claire had envisioned. When she had called Nathan a week ago, she had hoped this dinner would cure her thoughts of Brandon. But Brandon showing up at her apartment tonight has ruined those chances.
She twirls the spaghetti around her fork at the restaurant and focuses on the number of turns her fork is making. Nathan has been politely trying to carry on a conversation the entire night, but Claire’s mind is elsewhere.
“Claire!”
Her head snaps up at the mention of her name. There is a worried expression on Nathan’s face.
“What’s wrong with you tonight? I asked you a question, and you didn’t answer. Is it the Brandon guy? Are you afraid of him? Did he scare you?”
At the thought of Brandon scaring her, Claire’s anger rises.
“Just because he’s an ex-con doesn’t make everyone afraid of him, Nathan!” she snaps. Seeing the defeated look in his eyes, Claire’s anger subsides. “Look, I’m sorry. Yes, seeing him definitely threw me for a loop. I haven’t seen him or spoken with him in over eight months and tonight was…difficult.” She turns her eyes back to her fork and continues to swirl the pasta around it.
“Is it true then, what the media was saying? That you two were an item? I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to pry.” Nathan’s voice is soft and Claire exhales, looking into his face.
“Yes. I know it’s surprising, but we were an item.” She pauses, expecting Nathan to jump up and run from the table, but he stays, his eyes focused on Claire. “He’s really a good man with a good heart. I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s true.”
“And you’ve managed to keep a relationship going with him being in prison?” His voice is incredulous, but Claire is already aware the entire affair sounds stupid.
“For the first four years, yes, but then this last year, it just became too difficult. Then I met you, and you have been so wonderful. It’s just been hard, and my mind has been going a million different places. Seeing Brandon tonight threw me right back to where I was eight months ago.” She waits on a response from Nathan, knowing he finds it hard to believe she had something going on with her kidnapper. This is way below Nathan’s standards of behavior, and Claire feels smaller by the second in his presence. Admitting this is difficult for her. Nathan is from an elite class in Atlanta, and she is sure the knowledge that she was at one point interested in a criminal pulls her down in his eyes.
“So where does this leave us?” Nathan asks simply.
She looks into his eyes, and for the first time all night, gives him her complete attention. “You mean you don’t want to break up with me?”
He lets out a laugh that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Why would I break this off, Claire?”
�
��Because I’m in love with a ex-criminal. My kidnapper at that.”
She sees Nathan’s eyes go wide and she realizes what she just said.
“You’re in love with him?”
The atmosphere turns cold as she realizes her mistake, but she won’t lie. “Yes.” She looks down at her plate and takes a deep breath.
“So why are you with me?”
“Because you’re perfect.”
Nathan’s lips curve up to a smirk, and a small laugh escapes his lips. “I’m far from perfect, Claire.” His voice becomes low, and he leans across the table towards her. “It’s nearly impossible to compete with someone who already has your heart. I will let the decision be yours, but between Brandon and myself, I know who will win. The one who has your heart will always win.”
Claire reaches across the table and grabs his hands. “Thank you, Nathan. You’re a great guy, and you deserve a girl who has your entire heart. Thank you for your friendship over the past few months and for helping me clear my head.”
He nods and they continue their meal. Claire feels as if a million bricks have been lifted off her chest. Why did she think she could erase the past by dating Nathan? As sweet as he is, he cannot change her heart.
Needing some more words of wisdom, she knows exactly whom she should call. He will know what to tell her and what to say. He will save the day just like he always has.
In a situation like this, a girl needs her daddy.
ALTHOUGH CLAIRE WORKS daily at the office with her father, there is rarely any time for the two of them to talk. Knowing this, Claire asks if she can meet him for coffee one night after work. A full week had passed since she has seen Brandon, and the love letters are continuing to arrive daily. She, however, still refuses to open them. Claire knows she needs to have her head on straight before she makes her final decision.
She pulls into the coffee shop with her dad following in his car. They meet at the door, Philip holding it open for them to walk inside. Once their orders are placed, they find a corner booth where their conversation can be private.
“So, what’s on your mind?” Leave it to her dad to cut right to the chase.
“Brandon.” Claire’s answer is short and simple. She doesn’t plan to beat around the bush, either.
“I was wondering what was happening there, but I didn’t want to interfere. I thought you were dating Nathan Lang?”
Claire pauses to drink some of her latte. “I was dating Nathan Lang. Past tense, Dad.”
“Oh…what changed your mind?”
“Brandon showed up on my doorstep a week ago wanting to talk. I told him I’d call him, and I’m still receiving love letters everyday.”
The conversation between them slows as Claire looks to her father for answers. After a few sips of his coffee he remains silent. Frustrated, Claire decides to break the ice. “Well, what should I do?”
“I can’t give you the answer, Claire. You will have to make this decision on your own. But I can tell you this. Don’t let fear of the unknown dictate your future. Sometimes in life we have to take chances. Sometimes these chances have a positive impact, and other times they have a negative impact. You will have to make a decision and let time reveal the answer to you.” Philip pauses for a minute before speaking again. “Do you love him?”
Claire’s answer is easy. The word rolls right off her tongue. “Yes.”
“Then proceed with what your heart is telling you. That’s the best advice I can give. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will it be worth it? Yes.” Philip continues to sip his coffee while Claire stares out the window in thought.
Philip speaks again, breaking her concentration. “And let’s not lose sight of what Brandon’s going through. He has a lot on his plate right now, too. He’s started a new job, gotten his driver’s license reinstated and is transitioning back into society, a society that he hasn’t been a part of in almost a decade. This is just as hard on him as it is you.”
Claire cringes inside knowing her dad is correct. This is actually more difficult on Brandon than it is on her, but she has been too focused on herself to realize her selfishness.
“Dad, did you know this would happen? Did you know I would feel this way while he was in prison?”
“I figured something like this would happen. Five years is a long time to wait for someone. A lot happens and changes in five years, especially when that person isn’t around everyday to be part of the change. Don’t give up on him just yet, Claire. I’ve been following Brandon very closely over the past five years, and he’s made some decent changes. Remember five years ago how much confidence you had in him to make the right decision?”
Claire nods her head, remembering that exact conversation with her dad.
“Well, now it’s me that has the confidence in him. I wouldn’t be telling my daughter to give him a chance if I didn’t believe in him.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Claire says, standing to give him a hug. She knew he would have the right answers. He always does. Tonight she has some decisions to make, and her starting point will be the opening of today’s love letter.
“I’LL…CALL YOU.”
Claire’s voice echoes in my head on repeat. I have been living in “real” society for over a month now, and for the first time in my life, things feel right. Everything, that is, except Claire. I am trying to be a good man and give her the space she asked for. I feel the ball is now in her court. I want to be a gentleman, but I am running out of steam. It has been a month since I have spoken to her, and my letters don’t seem to be doing any good.
I keep seeing Nathan Lang’s image in my mind, and I wish I was still the kind of guy who punches people for no reason. I would have punched Nathan Lang straight in the face for just breathing if that were the case.
I even Google him and discover he’s a self-made millionaire with his own marketing firm. I was considering trying to visit Claire again, until I read this bit of information. This is the type of guy Claire deserves, the type of guy she needs to be with. Not some piece of shit ex-con guy like me. And as much as it hurts, I will gladly let those two be together if that makes her happy. At the end of the day her happiness is what is most important.
I continue to look at the ceiling, watching the moonlight display shadows from the trees around my room. Some days I have a difficult time believing I am free. And not only am I free, but I’m an honest man working an honest job. The mechanic job Philip arranged for me is going well. My boss and I get along, and I do have a knack for this type of thing. I’ve been able to fix vehicles even he didn’t know how to fix, and perform services on cars that even he wasn’t aware existed. It feels good to be wanted, and it feels good to be doing honest work.
The only difficult part is learning to be an employee instead of the boss. I find myself biting my tongue at certain times, but it was all worth it when I received my first paycheck. It was like he handed me a million dollars. I was so proud I even took my brothers out to dinner that night.
I also discover that my dear cousin Richard has taken my fake bank account and merged it with his own. All the years of hard earned-money went into the hands of a corrupt politician. At first, I was sick to my stomach, but after thinking about it for a while, I had realized that this was dishonest money anyway. Even though it was a good amount, I don’t really want that money. Also, I need to cut Richard out of my life for good. After speaking to him once and learning about the fate of my money, I hung up the phone and deleted his number. I am turning over a new leaf, and Richard isn’t going to be part of this new life.
I lie awake in bed, my hands behind my head, trying to pinpoint the exact moment I lost Claire. At what point did she start fading away, and how had I been so stupid not to notice? It was during that last year of prison. That’s when I felt her slip through my fingers, but I didn’t speak up. The fear of ruining what little we had was too great within me.
Now that I’m free, I can’t force her to love me. And I don’t stand a chance when pitted agai
nst Nathan Lang.
Deciding that sleep isn’t coming, I climb out of bed and head to the kitchen. Crossing the den, I see Luke and Dayna snuggled up on the sofa, their arms and hands interlocked.
“Sorry, guys. I’m only getting a class of water.”
“It’s no problem, man. What time is it?”
Luke and I glance at the clock to see it’s one am.
“At least tomorrow is Saturday. We can all sleep in,” I mumble as I shuffle into the kitchen for a drink. After completely filling the cup with tap water, I gulp the liquid down, allowing the lukewarm water to quench my thirst. I know I won’t be able to find sleep right now, and lying in my bed awake isn’t appealing either. I decide I’ll go sit on the stairs outside our door and clear my head. I’ve always been a big advocate of fresh air. I walk back to my room and slip on jeans to replace my pajama pants. Once back in the den, Luke eyes me wearily.
“I’m going outside for a bit to sit and think,” I explain.
“Cool. Hey, sometime this weekend, would you like to go see Marcus’s grave?”
I pause. I remember Claire telling me she gave Marcus a proper burial, but I haven’t been to his grave. How sorry am I? I have been so wound up in my life, I haven’t even thought of my best friend. “Yeah. That sounds great.” It will be good for me to visit Marcus.
I close the door behind me and walk to the end of the complex. I see the steps and sit there, running my hand down my face. I stare into the distance, examining the stars and moon shining brightly in the night sky. My peaceful surrounding is a mirror of my life, and I can’t help but wonder how I got to this place. I have lived the craziest life of them all, so how did I end up here? I know the answer but I refuse to acknowledge the name.
A car pulls into a parking space and breaks my moment of solitude. I wonder which neighbor this could be. It’s one am, but it is a Friday night, after all. The car door opens and I notice it’s Mark. He’s been who-knows-where-doing-who-knows-what. Someone needs to straighten this boy out, but he’s not going to listen to me. No, Mark is too much like his older brother. It’s going to take a special kind of woman to tame this man.
The Thief Redeemer Page 24
