“I never would have thought… No wonder I can’t tell Joey or Lucas. Who exactly knows?”
“Mom and Dad… and Sawyer. We had a pretty heated discussion after Sunday dinner.”
His hand covered hers on the couch. “And how are you doing about all this?”
She sniffled. Now that she’d bared her soul, the heavy weight lifted off her chest. There was someone else to shoulder the burden. “I’m doing better. For a long time, I chewed on the fact Dad isn’t my father, spun the information into something horrible, and let it dictate everything about what I didn’t like about my life. I felt like I didn’t belong to the family.”
He shifted to face her. “Honey, look at me. You’re our sister. I realize being the only girl was hard for you, but we didn’t see you as different. You were one of us. You were then… and you still are. I don’t care what your birth certificate says.”
“Oh, Michael…” She threw her arms around him and he returned the embrace. She should have expected nothing less from him. He always said the right thing at the right time. She pulled back and swiped at the tears under her eyes. “I didn’t feel that way for so long. I’m starting to see that now.”
“Why did you tell me… and not Joey or Lucas?”
“I want you to find him.”
“Who?”
“My biological father.”
Michael’s lips straightened again and he quirked his brow, his gaze shifting across the room.
He was going to tell her no, wasn’t he? That was why he wouldn’t answer. That was why he wouldn’t look her in the eye. But she wouldn’t let him refuse her.
“Why do you want to find this man? Dad is your real father in every way that matters.”
She couldn’t explain why her feelings couldn’t be put to rest until she knew more about her biological father. Yes, finding him could stir up a hornet’s nest she wasn’t prepared for “I agree, but I have to know. There’s so much still churning inside me that won’t be resolved until I find him.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea. He could be a criminal, a degenerate—”
“Or he could be a loving man who did the best thing he could.”
“Oh, Rachel. That’s an idealized vision of what could happen, but you need to know that’s not often the reality. The reality is never as glamorous. If I do this, you have to be prepared for the answer to not be something you hoped for or may even be ready to hear.”
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take.”
“If that’s what you want, I can look into him. What can you tell me about him?”
“Hold on.” Rachel dashed up the stairs and grabbed the folder containing the piece of paper that had started this disaster. When she plopped on the couch again, her fingers tingled from the rush of energy. She was one step closer to finding the truth about her birth father. Mom wouldn’t lie about Rachel’s father—about how he signed away his parental rights for her own good—but she had a right to hear everything from the man himself. Yet the more she thought about it, the more doubts crept in. He might refuse to see her. He could even turn Michael away. Damn, why did this have to be so hard?
She held out the birth certificate but kept a tight clasp on the paper. “Are you sure you’re okay doing this? I know I shouldn’t be asking you to keep things from Joey and Lucas.”
“I understand, but I wish you’d tell them. You know they love you and they can be here for you. No matter what I find out.”
“I’ll tell them eventually.” Michael was right. Joey and Lucas deserved the truth. They loved her and she had to remind herself their relationship wouldn’t change. Michael hadn’t bolted. He’d even agreed to help. They would support her, too. “In the meantime, I have Sawyer.”
Michael took the folder and set it aside. “Tell me about Sawyer.”
Rachel let Michael change the subject. He would need time alone to absorb what she’d revealed. “What’s to tell? You know him as well as I do.”
He chuckled. “Based on what I saw today, I doubt that.”
Heat rose on her cheeks. If she could change one thing about herself, it was her damn blushing. No doubt her face was redder than Michael’s polo shirt. She could never join her brothers’ poker games because she’d squirm, bite her lip, and turn every shade of red.
Michael held his hand up and turned his head away. “No. Do not tell me any details. I don’t want to hear them… not about my sister.”
Each of her brothers had reacted to her relationship with Sawyer in a unique way. Ignoring the situation was Michael’s go-to.
“How long has this been going on, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“For me, not that long. But evidently, Sawyer’s had feelings for me for a lot longer.” She’d never admit her teenage crush to anyone. Joey would relentlessly tease her if he knew why she’d tagged along with him and Sawyer as kids.
“Really? I didn’t know. Did Joey?”
“I’m not really sure. Sawyer’s not one to talk about his feelings, you know.” Quick, time to change the subject before Michael continued cross-examining her. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”
A tinge of pink appeared on Michael’s cheeks but just as quickly faded. He stood and faced the fire place. Clearly she wasn’t the only one with secrets. “Not much. Staying busy, but I’m hoping that changes soon.”
“Are you finally up for partner?”
“I think so. Things are looking good.” He swiveled to face her, his brow knitted.
“What?”
“Sometimes I wonder what… what it’s all about anymore”
Come again? Michael had said “it”? He never used that word. Something serious was going on. “What do you mean?”
“The long hours, the missed holidays. Maybe if I hadn’t been so buried in work, I’d have been here to help you…”
He was feeling guilty? No way would she let him take the blame. “Michael, you couldn’t have helped me. I didn’t want help. I’d convinced myself everything would get better. Joey and Lucas tried to talk to me, too, and that didn’t work, either. I had to come to the realization myself. But I have missed you. Will making partner mean we’ll see you more?”
His arm slipped around her, producing the familiar warmth she always associated with him, whether in his hazel eyes or kind smile. “I don’t know. I missed you too, brat.”
Just when she thought he was more mature than Joey, Michael went and did something silly. Maybe he wasn’t as different from the other two as she’d assumed.
A car engine revved outside.
“Sawyer’s home. Can you stay a bit longer? Have dinner with us?”
“No can do. I have one more stop to make before I head back.”
“Are you going to Mom and Dad’s?”
He stood and pocketed his hands, turning his back.
Huh? Why did he keep hiding his face? What secrets was he keeping from her?
He jangled the keys in his pants pocket. “No, just one other, er, thing I have to take care of.”
She tiptoed around him and studied him for a minute. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine.”
She wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you so much. I love you, Michael.”
“I love you too, squirt.” His soft words danced along her ear. “Later.”
Just as Michael strode to the door, Sawyer entered.
“Everything okay?” Sawyer’s gaze darted back and forth between the two of them.
She sidled up to Sawyer, slipping her arm around his waist. “I tried to convince Michael to stay for dinner but he has another stop to make.”
“Sorry you don’t have time to stay, man. Another time?”
Michael nodded and then turned back to her. “I’ll be in touch.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
SAWYER DROPPED HIS keys on the table and wrapped her in a hug. The entire time he’d been at the bar with Joey, his eyes had been on the clock, calculating how long was long enough before
he could come home. “I missed you.”
“You weren’t gone that long.”
He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I was sitting at the bar when I’d rather be here supporting you. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to tell Michael.” He kissed her. “How did your conversation go?”
“Surprisingly well.” He should have had faith. Rachel was growing more independent, and he had to trust she could take care of herself.
“And he’s going to look into your biological father for you?”
“Yeah. He wants me to tell Joey and Lucas, but he agreed to let me decide when.”
“When you’re ready.”
She sighed and sank back into him.
Not too long ago, she wasn’t comfortable touching him. But now his strong, sexy woman was back.
“And when will that be? I wish I knew.”
“You’ll know when you’re ready and when you are, they’ll say the same thing I’ve been saying all this time. They’ll love you… no matter what.” Just like I do. The words stuck on the tip of his tongue. They’d been together in every way possible. Through touching, kissing, and making love to her, he showed how he felt about her, even if he didn’t say the words.
At the picnic, she’d eyed him suspiciously, and he couldn’t have made a bolder statement than dancing with her in the gazebo. Sure, the tradition was cheesy, but that dance had given him the perfect opportunity to show her the love he couldn’t declare.
He cupped her cheeks, the skin soft and smooth beneath his rough palms. He brought her face to his, and her lips parted. God, he loved when she relaxed and gave herself over to what she was feeling. He should try to do the same. He slid his tongue into her mouth, the tip tickling hers. She tangled her tongue with his, her strokes strong and confident.
Her kisses tasted of sweet lemon. Kissing had never been intimate for him before, just a simple act that led to sex. But he could kiss Rachel for hours and never tire of the conversation they held without words. He’d never had this close, deep relationship with a woman before. He hadn’t known what he’d been missing, but now the mere thought of losing her scared him to death.
He lifted her and slung her legs around his waist, her core pressing against his gut. His erection strained against his jeans, reaching for the place it longed to be. They needed a bed, but at this point, any horizontal surface would do. After standing beside her at the picnic all day, having his arms around her in the gazebo and not being able to touch her like this, and then having to wait at J.J.’s instead of being with her… He was about to explode.
He stumbled across the floor, kicking a stray shoe on the way to the couch. His buttoned-up life had been turned on its ear the day Rachel had moved in. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. His life could use the disruption.
She slid down his body, stroking his growing erection on the way, wrenching a growl from deep in his gut. Where was the damn couch? He wasn’t about to stop kissing her long enough to look. When his knees struck the sofa, he threw her on the cushions and covered her with his body.
His hands slid under her T-shirt. When he touched her, the soft skin of her belly twitched. How had he gotten so lucky? No other woman had responded to a simple stroke of his hand like Rachel did. He nudged her shirt higher, sprinkling kisses along the way, until he reached the satiny fabric of her bra. Her shirt tugged over her head easily and landed somewhere on the floor. Her bra quickly followed. He should go slow, make this good for her, but he completely lost his head every time they came together.
She lifted his shirt, her fingers tickling their way up his chest. Together they slid the fabric over his head and tossed it on the growing pile on the floor.
He lowered his chest against her breasts, her bare skin sending tingles through his body. All of a sudden, he stilled. His body hovering over hers could trigger some pretty negative memories. He’d taken care with her to this point, making sure she never felt trapped, but he’d been so focused on the sensations shooting through his body, he’d forgotten. “Is this all right?”
“More than all right,” she huffed on a breath.
Her eyes closed and her lips parted. He’d waited so long to explore her body and let her explore his. But each time he tried to linger, their clothes ended up flying and their hands grabbed for each other.
The rosy tips of her breasts begged for his touch. He huffed a hot breath over one, and the nipple stiffened just before he sucked it into his mouth. His hand cupped her other breast, his thumb teasing the nipple to a peak.
Her back arched and her belly settled against his. All of his blood flooded south of his belt and his cock twitched. God, what she did to him… and he wasn’t even inside her yet.
His hand trailed down her belly toward her jeans. With a quick flip of the button and a tug on the zipper, he found her damp curls and stroked around her core.
She trembled.
He popped a quick kiss on her lips before moving down the couch.
“Don’t leave.” She stuck out her bottom lip, the one he’d licked and sucked just last night when she pouted at him for something or other. Who knows what… but she wielded that pouty lip like a weapon.
“I’ll be right back.” He grinned as he reached her feet. He kissed each of her purple-painted toes, gripped the cuffs of her jeans, and yanked.
Only a thin scrap of lace hid the rest of her beautiful body from his view. His groin tightened as he perused her body, her rounded hips, her pale breasts, their pink tips wet from his mouth.
“Beautiful.” His heart wrenched when Rachel gazed up at him like no one else in the world mattered.
His slid his tongue up her calf, stopping at her knee where he sucked. He nudged her thighs apart, his mouth a breath away from the juncture of her thighs. He sucked the spot between her leg and hip and the soft skin gave, leaving a pale pink mark.
As he breathed a hot breath over her panties, her fingers dug into the cushion, and her body strained toward him. Nope, she was his until he was finished. He had plans for this beautiful body. He slid to the other side, covering that hip with open-mouth kisses.
“Sawyer, please…” Her words were strained and her eyes squeezed shut. Her fingers curled into the couch cushions.
He chuckled. This wasn’t the first time he’d driven her so crazy that she’d begged for him. In the past, sex hadn’t been about mutual pleasure, but more about taking care of a base need. With Rachel, he focused on her pleasure, touching and teasing her until she went wild. And he’d never been more satisfied. Returning to her core, he sucked through her panties. Her musky scent had his cock twitching.
She wiggled again, fumbling for the edge of her underwear. “Enough.”
While she shed her panties, he ripped off his jeans and threw a condom on the cushion beside her for later.
He slid up her body until his boxer-covered erection settled between her thighs. Her lips slid along his mouth and burned a hot path down his neck. Every nerve in his body fired. Damn, if she kept that up, he wouldn’t last long. She sucked right at the base of his neck and his cock jumped. “He likes that, huh?”
With just a little shift, he could be inside her in no time, feeling her heat surrounding his bare cock. But he wasn’t nearly done playing yet.
“Oh yeah. But I think he’ll like this better.” He slid down her body and settled between her thighs.
He slicked his tongue over her folds and she arched off the couch. Her deep moan stroked his erection. What he’d started was about making her his, claiming her. The ache in his groin could wait. When he slipped his tongue into her wet flesh, she tightened around him and sucked air from his lungs. She thrust her hips, shoving her core into him, her powerful scent surrounding him. His strokes increased as her moans deepened and rumbled around him. He slipped a finger inside her, stroking the supple muscles that clenched around him. He sucked on her clit as he reached for that spot deep inside her that had her screaming his name.
Her hands snaked into his hair a
nd her legs gripped his shoulders. Her keening moans grew. “Sawyer! Oh God!”
There it was. He smiled against her core as he stroked and caressed until her muscles relaxed and her tremors subsided. She lay limp, one arm flung off the side of the couch and the other over her face. As he covered her body, a soft smile settled on her lips and her lids fluttered closed. How did he get so lucky? She had landed in his house by mere chance, that stroke of luck the first of many.
Oh, geez. She didn’t think this was expected, did she? That she owed him something?
“Rachel?”
“Hmm?”
“This thing between us… you want this, don’t you?” What a dumb-ass question. She’d more than shown him what she wanted. Why was he asking this stuff? Because he’d let her in, shown her the Sawyer he hid from the rest of the world, and that scared the crap out of him.
Her eyes sprang open. “Yes, of course. There’s no place I’d rather be. Where is this coming from?”
“I didn’t want you to think I expected you to sleep with me.”
Rachel sat up, snatched his T-shirt off the floor, and tugged the too-large garment over her head.
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to make you self-conscious.”
“You didn’t. This conversation is too important to be had naked.”
He slid his lips across hers. “Oh, I think a lot of good conversations can be had naked.” Talking in bed… that had never been a problem. He could put a woman at ease with just a few words. But the words he’d spoken to those women in the heat of passion hadn’t meant anything. At least until now.
Rachel snuggled in beside him. “Tell me what’s going on?”
He scrubbed his hand over his chin. “I don’t know. This all happened so fast. You weren’t even supposed to be here. You wouldn’t have been if the shelter hadn’t been full. And you really should have left after that first night, but you didn’t. Instead you stayed. I was afraid you thought you owed me something in return.”
She laid her head on his chest.
Could she hear his heart pounding? She couldn’t leave, not now that he’d finally found the courage to let her into his heart. But he would be no better than Shane if she stayed out of some misguided sense of obligation.
One Last Chance_A Small-Town Romance Page 21
