He smiled. “All the better.”
She returned the smile, hers shaky and tremulous. She clasped her hands together, then released them. A nervous gesture that endeared her to him. He took her right hand in his left and gave a reassuring squeeze.
She drew in a deep breath. “So … when do Simon and I get pushed from the nest?”
“When I’m sure you’re safe.”
Dani sat on the bed and stared at the far wall. Adam had called this place a safe house. A place where she didn’t have to look over her shoulder or wonder who was watching her. She looked at the new cell phone Adam had given her with her new number.
Adam. A very attractive man with a gentleness to him that made her long to curl up in his arms and just be. She had a sense that, with his arms around her, she’d always feel safe.
She hardened her heart. No. While it would be a relief to shrug off the burden of going it alone, she wasn’t ready to team up with a man again. She’d been afraid for so long. Mentally, she knew why Adam was so attractive to her. He could be a safe place. He could be her comfort zone. But she needed to spread her wings a little, become comfortable with herself before she would be ready for another relationship. Maybe one day. But not yet. No, not just yet.
She flipped her wallet open and her new driver’s license stared back at her. Sofia Lansing. She now sported short black hair and red secretary glasses with clear glass lenses.
Simon’s shaggy blond hair was now a crisp auburn, cut military style. He thought it was cool. She thought he looked too grown up.
But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? To look like anybody but themselves.
Be anyone but themselves. Sofia and Ricky Lansing.
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Then looked down at her fingers. The bandless ring finger of her left hand glared up at her.
Her husband was dead. Had been dead for six months. Still, it seemed like she should feel something more than just relief.
Before they’d left the house tonight, she’d grabbed the bag from the safe. Now she stared at it, wondering if she should have gone through it a lot more carefully long ago. Stuart had been coming over to get something from the safe for Kurt. Then Kurt had been killed and she’d basically shoved the bag aside and forgotten about it. She’d kept out a stack of twenties to have some cash on hand, but hadn’t needed much of anything else, thanks to Kurt’s FBI widow’s benefits. Dani knew that an agent’s widow would only get benefits if he had agreed to a portion of his pension being designated for survivor benefits. She’d been blown away when she’d learned Kurt had done this. But the more she thought about it, the more she knew it was for bragging rights. Kurt never expected to die before her. He never thought she’d actually get the money. But he’d died and she got it. She wouldn’t dwell on the fact her husband had put that in there only to make himself look good.
Gerald Peabody, Kurt’s lawyer, had expertly executed the will and now Dani wondered about the rest of the contents of the bag. She reached for it and paused when the door opened and Simon signed, “Can I come in?”
“May I,” she automatically corrected.
Simon rolled his eyes. “No one says that.”
“Then ‘no one’ needs to study the rules of grammar,” she signed back.
“Exactly.” Simon walked in and sat on the bed beside her. He fidgeted with the bedspread.
“What is it, Son?”
“Do you miss Dad?” he blurted.
She flinched at the question and debated how to answer. His gaze drilled her and she knew she had to be honest. He was too sharp and would see straight through a pat answer. Or a lie.
Dani sighed and signed, “I miss what could have been, Simon. I miss the man I thought he was. I miss a lot of things, but no, I don’t miss who your father turned into.” She didn’t drop her eyes. “Do you understand what I mean?”
Simon’s lip quivered and he gave a slow nod. “I think that’s what I’m feeling too. I was trying to figure out why I was feeling bad that he was dead and—” his thin shoulder lifted in a shrug—“glad at the same time.”
Regret and self-hate filled her. She curled her hand into a fist and put it against her heart. Then she moved it in a slow circle. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He started to say something and she stopped him. “I’m sorry he wasn’t the kind of dad you deserved. The kind you needed. I’m sorry I didn’t take you and try to leave again a long time ago.” She placed her hands over his ears and closed her eyes. She whispered, “I’m sorry I wasn’t the kind of mother I should have been and protected you.” Her voice broke on the last word. That last sentence wasn’t for him, but for her.
Simon hurled himself into her arms and she held him close. His thin frame shook with sobs and Dani bit her lip to keep hers from erupting. Not over Kurt. Never again over Kurt. Her heart broke only for the fact that he was a lost soul, never to know redemption.
As much as she’d wanted to escape him, as much as she hated him, she still wished he would have changed, that she could have reached him and pulled him from whatever dark pit he’d allowed himself to sink into.
Simon finally drew in a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. She kissed the top of his head and lifted his chin so he could see her lips. “We’re going to have to figure out how to forgive him, you know.”
His brow furrowed and anger blazed, chasing his sorrow away. “No way.”
“Yes. We are. Otherwise the anger and bitterness are going to destroy us. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction.”
“I don’t want to give him my forgiveness. He doesn’t deserve it.” He pulled away from her and scrubbed his eyes with his palms.
“Forgiveness isn’t given because it’s deserved. Do you understand what I mean?” He didn’t answer. When he met her gaze again, she said, “We’ve had a long couple of days. Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” She couldn’t push the forgiveness issue when she was struggling with it so much herself.
Simon nodded. “After I get something to eat. I’m starving.” He slipped out the door and left her alone. She wondered if he would find his way back to her later, during the night. Over the past six months he’d had more nightmares than he’d ever had when Kurt had been living.
Dani pulled her Bible from the backpack on the floor and held it in her lap. She hadn’t been a Christian all that long, but she’d read the Bible cover to cover. Not all of it made sense. A lot of it did. The forgiveness part had hit her hard and wouldn’t let go.
Dani lay on her side and curled into a ball, holding the Bible against her stomach. She wondered if she would ever be free to live her life as a normal person. She wondered if forgiving Kurt would be a step in the right direction.
Adam stepped into the smoky bar and paused, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. When he could see, he let his gaze roam the occupants. Sadness curled through him. What did people think they’d find at the bottom of a glass or in the arms of a stranger they’d just met?
On a purely logical level, he supposed he understood. Loneliness, emptiness, made people act in ways they might never otherwise consider.
He had to fight that particular emotion on a regular basis, but he refused to make choices that would compromise his standards. He wanted the real thing, not phoniness wrapped in a pretty package.
His mind immediately went to Dani. Now she was the real deal as far as he could tell. She was also off-limits for now. Getting emotionally involved with someone he had to protect would not be a good thing. He would do his job and keep his emotions at a distance.
Right after he handed out a little warning.
The man he’d come looking for sat about ten feet to his left.
14
MONDAY EVENING
DECEMBER 8
Stuart sat at the table with three of his fellow agents. He didn’t particularly like the smoky atmosphere, but the bar provided obscurity. Something he and his buddies needed right now. He knew to anyone from the outside, they l
ooked like any other partiers on a Monday night. They didn’t look like cops, they didn’t look like agents, they looked like four guys hanging out, living it up. Which fit in with their plans.
“Was it you last night?”
The low whisper caught him by surprise and he turned to see a familiar face. One he’d seen on his phone. “What?”
“You’re Stuart Harding, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’m Adam Buchanan.”
Stuart stared at the man. Adam’s narrowed green eyes glittered with suspicion and Stuart’s guard went up. “Is that name supposed to mean something to me?” The name didn’t, but the face did. Stuart trembled with the desire to plant his fist on Adam’s arrogant nose.
“No, not right now.” Adam stepped back and Stuart stood. They shared the same height.
Ignoring the questions on the other three faces, he followed Adam, intrigued by the man’s boldness.
And by the fact that Adam seemed to have the ability to see beneath the surface. He didn’t like that he was suddenly uneasy. Fresh anger rushed through him. He squinted. “What about last night?”
“Did you break into Dani’s house? Did you kill the woman who was there?”
Stuart drew in a hissing breath. “Of course not, are you crazy? Why would I do that?”
“Because you can’t seem to stay away from her. Because every time she turns around, you’re there. Because you have some sort of sick obsession with her. It’s called stalking.”
Stuart went cold. His friends read his body language. Hands covered their hidden weapons, ready to draw them on his behalf. He kept his voice low. “I knew someone broke in, obviously. I went over last night to see if I could help, but she said there wasn’t anything I could do and we’d talk later. So you tell me, pretty boy, if she has a state-of-the-art alarm system, how did her intruder get past it?” Stuart let his skepticism show.
“We haven’t figured that out yet. But I’m willing to bet you have the code to that alarm system.”
Stuart gave a soft snort. Of course he had the code. “So what if I do? I didn’t use it to break in and scare Dani. I don’t have to.” He stared at this new threat. “I just ring the bell and walk in when she opens the door. So don’t try to intimidate me. I know where I stand with Dani.”
Adam didn’t drop his gaze. A fact that made Stuart frown.
“You see,” Adam said, “that’s it. I don’t think you do get it. She doesn’t want you around. Stay away from her and stop harassing her or I’ll have to make a report to the OPR.”
Stuart flinched and hated himself for it. Office of Professional Responsibility and the FBI equivalent of Internal Affairs.
Adam leaned in. “And then I’ll go over your boss’s head. Might even name your boss as having excused prior unlawful acts. Want me to do that?”
Stuart felt the flush of rage begin at the base of his neck. But a twinge of fear had him hesitating. “Who are you and what makes you think you have the right to tell me to stay away from my dead brother’s wife?”
“Dani gave me that right when you tried to chase her down and attack her.”
Stuart blinked. “That was an accident. I wasn’t going to hurt her. I wanted to stop her from running.”
Adam looked surprised at his admission. “So you weren’t interested in the contents of the safe?”
“The what? No.” Stuart breathed a small laugh. “Why would I be interested in that?”
“Because Dani said you came over the day Kurt was killed to get something from the safe. She’d cleaned it out by the time you got there.”
Stuart frowned. “Kurt asked me to stop by and pick up something for him. I don’t even know what it was he wanted. Said he needed a small locked box and to just bring him the whole thing.”
“From what I understand, you and Kurt weren’t exactly best friends.”
“Couldn’t stand each other.”
“And yet you were willing to do his bidding?”
Stuart shrugged. “Sure. It gave me a reason to see Dani.” He saw no reason to keep his attraction for his sister-in-law a secret anymore.
Adam’s brow lifted. “I see.”
Stuart offered the man a small smirk. “I’m sure you do.” He let the smile slide from his lips. “So I suggest you just keep your distance from Dani and Simon. They’re mine.”
“I mean it, Harding, leave Dani and Simon alone. They have help now.”
Stuart curled his fingers into a fist, his anger still roiling within as he watched Adam turn and leave without a backward glance.
The man had no right to tell him what Dani wanted or didn’t want. Dani didn’t know what she wanted or needed. That’s why it was up to Stuart to take care of her.
His phone rang and he let out a slow breath as he realized who was calling. He kept his voice low and controlled. “What do you have?”
“I almost lost them, but managed to keep up.”
“And?”
“They’re at a safe house. One of them left. Adam, I think. I don’t know where he went, but everyone else is inside.”
“I know where Adam went,” Stuart muttered. “Don’t worry about him.”
“Fine. As soon as I dismantle the security system we’ll be in.”
Stuart thought for a few moments. “Don’t do anything yet. Just watch them. Tell me how many people are there besides Dani and Simon.”
“Just watch them?”
“Yes.”
“I can do that.” A pause.
“What is it?”
“Do you have someone watching me?”
“What?” Stuart frowned. “What kind of question is that?”
“So you don’t.”
“No,” Stuart said. “I don’t.”
“Okay, but I could have sworn while I was following Dani and the others, someone was following me.”
Stuart snorted. “Who would be following you? Don’t get paranoid on me. Just stay on Dani and wait for further instructions.”
“Right.”
15
Later that night, Dani looked in on Simon. He lay curled up on his side, his ever-present Nintendo game clutched in his hand. Against her better judgment she’d allowed him to keep the gift that had come from his uncle Stuart. Two months ago when Stuart had stopped by with the game, Simon had looked at it with such longing. And yet she’d seen the fear in his eyes too. On impulse, she’d taken the toy from Stuart and given it to Simon.
Maybe she shouldn’t have.
She sighed and stepped back, shutting the door. There were a lot of things she shouldn’t have done. Letting her child find some joy in a simple game wasn’t one of them.
Setting her shoulders, she turned and gasped. Adam stood there, watching her. “You scared me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Where did you come from?”
She caught the smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes in the dim hall light. He said, “I was walking the perimeter.”
“Oh. Is there trouble?”
“Not so far. Blake’s taking his turn.”
She nodded.
“We’re going to take care of you and Simon, Dani.”
“I appreciate it.”
His phone rang and he looked at the screen. With a sigh he stepped back. “I need to take this. When I’m done, we’d like to go through the bag from the safe. Do you mind?”
“Of course not.” She stepped into the room, grabbed it from the bed, and handed it to him. “Let me have a few minutes and I’ll be right there. It won’t take me long.”
“Okay.” He pressed his screen and held the phone to his ear. “Mom? Oh. Sarah. What are you doing on Mom’s phone?”
Dani watched him walk down the hall, then she closed her door, wondering about Adam’s personal life. She shook her head. She had no business thinking of him as anything more than a professional, the man who was keeping them safe. She didn’t need to be wondering about such personal things like his family. She needed to foc
us on getting away from Stuart and keeping Simon safe. Those were her immediate goals. Feelings for Adam weren’t an option.
The fact that she wanted to ask him about his family mocked her as she stepped into the bathroom.
Five minutes later, when she walked into the kitchen, the bag lay on the floor next to David, the contents spread over the table.
At the conference-sized table that seated twelve, David sat next to Summer. A man Dani had never seen before sat next to David. He held out a hand. “Blake Wyatt.”
Dani shook the offered hand. “Nice to meet you.” Blake looked like he belonged on the cover of a military magazine. “Which branch?”
He lifted a brow. A glimmer of respect and dimple in his left cheek peeked at her. “Army.”
She took the chair next to Summer. “Where’s your daughter?”
“With my sister and mother. I wanted to be in on helping you as much as possible.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’ll have to leave soon though. I mostly handle the office stuff, but your case is special.”
“Special?”
“It kind of reminds me of what I went through last year.”
“It was because of me,” David said quietly. “It was my fault she was almost killed.”
Summer hushed him. “Stop it. We’re past all that, but knowing someone is after you and you’re on the run for your life—well, I just want to be a part of helping you.”
“I understand. And thank you for that.” Dani decided she liked this woman and thought that under different circumstances they could have been good friends.
Her eyes fell on the objects from the safe. Adam slipped into the chair next to her and his shoulder brushed hers. Warmth traveled along her arm to the tips of her fingers. She felt a flush begin to rise and did her best to clamp down on the attraction.
It bothered her that she could be so drawn to another man so soon after Kurt’s death. Then again, it wasn’t that soon after. But was she really that needy? Was she so brainwashed that she was actually afraid to be on her own? Determined not to be, she reached for the nearest item. An envelope. “What’s this?”
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