“I think your mother’s concern,” Maxwell replied, leaning forward, “is making sure that Eddie’s reputation isn’t unnecessarily trampled.” He turned toward Edna. “I’m still trying to get Cassandra to meet with you, by the way.” He didn’t mention that he had lost his direct line to Cassie, of course. Julia’s parting words the same night she had unwittingly met Tiffany and Nia said it all: “If you care the least bit about me, Maxwell Simon, you will disappear. Start by resigning from the board, please, so I never have to see your lying lips again.” It wasn’t as if he could argue, least of all now when Julia had so much on her.
“I just need to look her in the eye,” Edna was saying. “Do you understand, Dr. Simon? When you try to help a child thrive, try to teach him right from wrong, the worst claim anyone can make is that you failed, that the child attempted to bring harm to someone else. I can’t accept that lightly,” the woman said, nearly choking on her last word.
As Edna began a muted sob, shoulders shaking, Pete moved to comfort her, his arms wrapping around her shoulders. “Never expected this,” he said, his voice nearly a whisper. His eyes on Maxwell now, he shrugged. “I can give you a couple of days to talk some sense to Cassie, Doc. After that, I’ll have to get involved. I don’t think anybody really wants that.”
39
So just when were you going to share your news?”
“Good morning to you too.” Trapped there at the front door of Cassie’s house, Julia flinched internally but met her friend’s smoldering stare. Fresh from the road after her return trip from Chicago, she felt fatigue creeping up and down her limbs, but she realized she’d have to fight that off for a few more minutes. Easing Cassie to the side with the palm of one hand, she stepped into her best friend’s foyer.
From over her shoulder, Julia heard Cassie’s insistent tone even as her friend slammed the front door shut. “So you’re going to play me stupid, Julia? I asked you a question.”
“I heard the question,” Julia replied coolly, turning to face Cassie as she fingered the purse slung over her shoulder. “Where is Amber?”
“She’s in the basement with the twins, watching something questionable on that Nickelodeon channel. Hannah Montana, or maybe that show with the younger sister of that foolish Spears girl. I can’t keep them all straight.”
Julia nodded, satisfied that her child was out of earshot. “So I guess I can address your question. Why don’t you tell me the news you’re talking about, Mrs. Gillette?”
Cassie ushered Julia into her living room, patting a spot next to her on the couch as she took a seat. “Amber told the twins she’s expecting us to come visit you all a lot, when you move to Chicago.”
Julia settled in next to her friend, smiling despite herself. She definitely hadn’t wanted Cassie to catch wind of the news this way, but she should have known Amber couldn’t be expected at her age to keep secrets. “No hard-and-fast decisions have been made, Cassie.”
Cassie folded her legs, pivoting toward Julia. “But some type of a decision has been made, right? You weren’t in Chicago yesterday for a work-related conference, were you?”
Julia raised her eyes to Cassie’s as she said, “I didn’t lie, okay? I was there for a work-related conference. It just didn’t relate to Christian Light work.”
“Are you interviewing for a new job, Julia?”
“Yes.” Julia was embarrassed by her sudden inability to maintain eye contact. “It’s with a for-profit academy funded exclusively by a consortium of progressive corporations. Cassie, the vision they have at the Parker Academy is amazing. Unfortunately, they’ve stumbled some getting out of the box; the superintendent they hired last year after I turned them down got canned a few months back, and the board has been reaching out to me ever since.”
Cassie’s eyes clouded in a way that made Julia feel even worse than she already did. “They’ve been reaching out to you all this time, but of all times you decide to consider their offer now?”
“So we are clear,” Julia replied, taking both of Cassie’s hands into hers, “I have not accepted this offer yet. I am seriously considering it, though.”
Cassie crossed her arms and stood. “No, Julia, I understand.” She tossed her hands in the air before continuing. “I mean, my life is in shambles, my family’s at risk, and you as my best friend choose now of all times to up and leave with my goddaughter in tow.” She turned back toward Julia with the stare of a wounded but menacing animal. “Really, I understand.”
Julia wiped away a film of sweat that had developed above her lip, then defiantly arched her back. “Well, I should hope you would understand. Why don’t you tell me what’s changed in the past few weeks, that might make me open to relocation. . . .”
Cassie cocked her head, brow furrowing. “What are you saying? That it’s my fault you want out of Dayton?”
“You never even consulted me, Cassie!” Julia was embarrassed at the boom in her voice, but she couldn’t find the nuance to dial it back as she rose from the couch. “So we’re clear, I don’t blame you for the fact that all of us are in a bad situation. We didn’t ask for what happened between us and Eddie that night, and if anyone’s to blame for Peter Whitlock entering our lives, it’s Toya.
“But what in the name of Jesus possessed you to cut this confession deal with Whitlock? It’s like some suicide pact, designed to do what exactly? Feed Whitlock’s lust for revenge at all costs?”
Cassie put her fists against her hips, marching forward until she was toe-to-toe with Julia. “Don’t you pass judgment on me! That was my child facing potential attempted-murder charges, my cousin’s son near death and headed for life in prison!”
Julia stepped forward, bumping Cassie back. “You sound pretty proud of yourself.”
“I should be. I protected M.J. and Dante, and it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t their fault that they had to bump heads with Whitlock, Julia. That should be weight carried by you, me, Toya, and Terry, if anyone.”
“Well, you sure have it all figured out.” Julia paced back several steps, praying for the Holy Spirit’s peace. For weeks now, she had been respectful and tight-lipped when discussing Cassie’s recent decisions with her. Now that she was under attack for decisions of her own, though, Julia’s flesh was ready to fully unleash every scalding opinion she’d held about Cassie’s judgment. Even in her agitated state, though, she loved her friend too much to come at her with both barrels blasting.
“I never said I had it all figured out,” Cassie said, her breathing a little heavier. “I’m just telling you, I took the actions I felt I had to.”
Julia whirred back toward her friend. “Tell me this, Cassie. Did you pray about your decision to confess, to embellish the truth while you did so?”
Cassie did not reply, but instead she stomped out of the living room. Confused, Julia stood in place for a few seconds, wondering whether to just go downstairs, get Amber, and go. She was about to do just that when Cassie marched back in, a large leather Bible in her hand. “Ephesians 4:25,” she said, handing the open Bible to her friend. “It says, ‘Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.’ Don’t you see, Julia? The pain that Eddie’s injuries caused went beyond the loss that his mother, and even Whitlock himself, suffered. Think about how it scarred all of our classmates and teachers, praying for Eddie’s recovery week after week, only to see him stay in the same vegetative state he’s in today.”
“It was a tragedy,” Julia replied, “we’ve always agreed on that. We also agreed that no good could come from exposing our involvement.”
Cassie took the Bible back, then slowly set it onto an end table. “And back then, we were right. In the Dayton of the 1980s, it would have torn the school apart, maybe the city itself, to have four little black girls in the news trying to explain their involvement in the near-fatal injury of a seemingly innocent white boy.
“It’s 2008, Julia. I’m a grown woman, old enough to
stand up for myself. And while Dayton’s still plagued by racial segregation, the younger generations at least are opening up to each other across the color lines. Now is a better time to get the truth out, provide some closure for Eddie’s family, and maybe help heal the community.”
Julia couldn’t stop herself, but she kept her tone soft and measured as she said, “Cassie, you didn’t tell the truth, you told a dramatized version of it, one that made you look like more of a bad guy than Eddie. If you had just given me some time, I was working on a way for you, me, Toya, and Terry to tell the entire truth.”
Cassie’s neck snapped in apparent surprise. “Oh, please, Julia! How long was that going to take? We spent all that money flying into New York, only to confirm that we didn’t have a single version of ‘the truth.’ No, I was the one with family at risk, and I had to tell a truth that would get what I needed, without tying you all up in it.”
“Well, I doubt you can show me the Scripture that supports that tactic,” Julia replied.
“Is that what we’re arguing over here?” Cassie’s back was up now, and she advanced on Julia like a policeman closing in on a suspect. “Scriptural interpretations? Is that why you’re leaving Dayton, Julia? Because I didn’t follow Scripture to your liking?”
“No, I guess you caught me.” Julia planted her feet anew, the stomp of that motion slowing Cassie in her tracks. “I’m leaving Dayton because you’ve made life here hell for all of us, how’s that? Cassie, I can’t do my job at Christian Light anymore. More than anything, the school needs good press and support from alumni and other donors. Just when we were making progress, this staged confession of yours has clouded everything. Media are more interested in writing about the school’s racial problems, both past and present, than about anything else. And the alumni? Please. They’re either appalled at the thought that the kid they prayed for all these years was a sexual predator, or they’re disgusted with you for accusing him of that when he can’t defend himself.”
Cassie’s chin had inched lower with Julia’s every word, but fight remained in her eyes as she said, “I’m calling Maxwell. I’ll bet you weren’t entertaining this job offer before you learned about his little girl.”
“Don’t.” Julia was surprised at how quickly she covered the ground between them. A long finger jammed toward Cassie’s left eye, she huffed insistently for effect. “He’s no good, was never any good, and won’t be any good. He’s just another self-hating brother who can’t see past the white ideal to ever love one of us.”
“Julia,” Cassie said, “give him a chance. You’ve been the strong one for so long. This thing about leaving town, it’s just fatigue, you tiring of playing the hero. Don’t run,” she said, latching onto both of her friend’s hands. “Let Maxwell hold you, please. I have a good feeling about him.”
The two friends stared each other down silently before Julia sighed and brought her friend into a hug. Pulling back, she dropped her gaze as she said, “I love you, Cassie, but, frankly, I just can’t trust your judgment anymore.”
40
I gotta tell you, Max,” Lyle said as he dug into his omelette, “you’re a better man than me if you can carry that burden. How are you gonna ask Cassie to meet with Eddie’s mom?”
“To be honest,” Maxwell replied as he stared at both Lyle and Jake in their booth at the Golden Nugget, “I was hoping you two might help me form the right words.”
“I guess,” Jake said, finishing a bite of chocolate chip pancakes, “that would be easier if you could still work this through Julia.” He coughed quickly before asking, “Between you and me, why didn’t you just tell her about Nia when you first started dating? I mean, I know it took you until she was born to even tell me and Lyle about her, but I thought by now you’d gotten over any shame about all this.”
Maxwell flipped a cross look toward his friend. “Partner, if you really want an answer to that question, we’d all have to retain an expensive shrink and set aside a week.”
Lyle read the stormy look in Maxwell’s eyes. Clapping a hand against Jake’s shoulder, he said, “Let’s take all that up later, all right?”
Maxwell shrugged. “I’m a little confused, Jake. You almost sound like you’re rooting for me and Julia. For the longest, you wanted me to steer clear of her.”
“And I may have been proven right,” Jake replied, shrugging. “I just didn’t realize you and your secrets were the factor that would doom the relationship.”
“No one says it’s doomed yet,” Lyle said, shaking his head and staring at Jake, who sat next to him. “For a pastor who counsels his congregation, man, you have the light touch of a hammer sometimes.”
“I don’t have any illusions about winning her back,” Maxwell replied, raising a hand as if to defend Jake. “I was so caught up in pride, man, so embarrassed that if Julia found out about Nia, it would validate her view of me as white-obsessed.”
“And because you weren’t honest with her from the start, she had that exact reaction.” Jake shrugged at Maxwell’s ungrateful expression. “Just calling it like I see it.”
“Why don’t you two help me with the problem at hand?” Maxwell stirred some more cream into his coffee, mind whirring with possible approaches. “Maybe I shouldn’t even go directly to Cassie. I’ve gotten pretty cool with her husband, Marcus, the past few months. We’re not boys by any stretch, but I think he’d hear me out if I tried to recruit him to convince Cassie to meet with Edna.”
“Couldn’t hurt,” Jake said after taking a swig of orange juice.
“I have to agree,” Lyle said, sliding his now-empty plate forward.
Jake tented his hands, looking pensive. “When you first had Julia make the invitation for her to speak with Edna, what were the reasons for her saying no?”
“I didn’t get any reasons,” Maxwell said. “Julia just said Cassie was too overwhelmed with trying to figure out whether her confession would require going to trial or whether she’d get some plead-down charge if they buy her claims of self-defense. I mean, it’s understandable; she’s got three kids and a husband whose life revolves around keeping her out of jail.”
“That’s still no excuse,” Lyle replied. “I mean, if she chose to confess, you’d think she’d realize the impact that has on Eddie’s family. I never liked the kid back in the day —we all know how he was —but even I’ve lived the past twenty years viewing him through the most possibly sympathetic lens. Who would have imagined that he deserved his fate?” Lyle paused to glance at his buzzing BlackBerry. “No parent ever wants to have to imagine that about their child.”
“Your characterization may be a bit harsh,” Maxwell said, finding his appetite had disappeared, though his plate was still full. While he withheld no personal secrets from his boys, he was still burdened by the secret account Julia had shared with him. “I think some would say that even if Eddie tried to molest Cassie, he was still a kid at the time. God bless her for fighting him off, but his incapacitation is still a tragedy in my book. If he’d survived to live a normal life, who’s to say he wouldn’t have learned his lesson?”
“Grace,” Jake replied, shaking his head and stroking his chin. The pastor’s eyes took on a faraway look as he spoke so low, it seemed he was thinking aloud. “Eddie would have been granted grace if God had kept him from the path of that truck. The tough question is, why wasn’t he given that chance? I’ve asked the Lord that question for years.”
The three sat in silence until Maxwell suddenly slammed his coffee cup down. “Jake, you’ve prayed that question for how long?”
Lyle placed a hand to his mouth, but he glanced toward Jake. “You gonna answer the man’s question?”
“What?” Jake looked from Lyle to Maxwell, his eyebrows raised in apparent confusion. “I said I’ve been praying for understanding about what happened to Eddie for years, ever since we were all kids,” he said, scratching his chin. “I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.”
“No, no,” Maxell replied, leaning acro
ss the table and seizing his friend with a stare. “You did not say that. You said you’ve asked God for years why Eddie wasn’t spared to learn that his sexual assault against Cassie was wrong, why he didn’t get the grace required to grow into a more well-adjusted adult.” Maxwell leaned so far across the table that he tipped the booth table up on one end. “Cassie just revealed a few weeks ago her involvement in that night. How did you know about it for years?”
41
John Bullett, the president of Christian Light’s Board of Education, opened the conference room door when Julia knocked. “Dr. Turner,” he said, nodding respectfully as he held the door open for her. “How are you this evening?”
“Thankful, John,” she replied, a grim smile on her lips. “Thankful that the Lord’s keeping me on my feet at least.”
“I see,” the grizzled Vietnam vet replied. “This is the first board meeting I’ve ever known you to be late for. Usually you’re here half an hour before the rest of us.”
Yes, well, that was when I needed to impress you, Julia thought. John and the rest of the board would understand soon enough. Sliding on past him and taking a seat at the head of the long conference table, she gently set her leather portfolio down. Staring at its cover, she felt paranoia kick in. The fear that everyone in the room suddenly had X-ray vision gripped her, fear that they could see beneath her portfolio cover to view the resignation letter she had just printed back in her office.
God Only Knows Page 22
