by F. G. Adams
The elevator doors open, and out strolls Michael dressed in baggy sweats and a hoody, looking ruggedly handsome and sexy as ever. My lips tingle at the memory of his touching mine. Flushed and silent, I remain quiet. He stops mid-stride when his gaze falls down on me.
“Holly? What are you doing here?” he curiously asks. I see astonishment cross his handsome face before it quickly vanishes.
“Hi, Michael.” I limply wave. I’m such a doofus sometimes, acting impetuously without thinking it through. Why in the world would I ever think this is a good idea? My confidence wanes. That’s when I remember my resolve. Christmas cheer. Michael needs to find his.
“Did we have plans?” he asks with a mixture of concern and interest.
It’s now or never, Holly. “I came to get you,” I quickly blurt out, a little nervous he might not be up for what I have planned.
“To get me? For what?”
“It’s a little surprise I cooked up. You game?”
He looks me up and down and smiles. I can hear the thumping roar of my heart loud and clear.
“What do you have in mind?” The corner of his mouth lifts slightly with amusement.
“You need to dress warm and be ready for anything,” I joke in an attempt to cover my nervousness. To no avail. He can see straight through my façade.
“Alright. Come on. It shouldn’t take me long to get ready.”
“You want me to come with you? To your apartment?”
He belly laughs at my stalling. “Sure. You don’t have to stay down here unless you want to. What’s wrong? You worried, little pixie?”
“What? Moi? Heck no, Dr. Barnes. Lead the way, Kemosahbee.”
He chuckles, and I watch the expanse of his chest. Something deep inside tightens. Does he have any idea what he does to me? He’s lethal. His shoulders shake more, and I gaze up into a pair of amused eyes.
“You done?”
“Huh? What did I do this time?”
He grins and shakes his head in disbelief. “Never mind. Let’s go. I’m eager to see what you’ve cooked up in that head of yours.”
It doesn’t take him long until he’s warmly dressed in a sapphire turtleneck sweater that accents his gorgeous eyes, and the finest pair of blue jeans this side of the Mason-Dixon line. Lord, have mercy up above; he looks good enough to devour one lick at a time. My mind just went there. Yes, it did.
When I finally make it to his eyes, there’s a spark of smug male amusement in them. He’s quietly laughing at me. Again.
“I’m so happy I can entertain you, Michael.” I mimic his stance and cross my arms, propping my hip to the side. His smile grows. Slowly but surely, I’m getting under his skin and the man I knew is coming back to the land of the living.
“You are just too easy to read, Holly. Every thought and emotion you have seems to cross that beautiful face of yours,” he tells me and reaches for my hand. “I’m at your disposal, pixie. Where are we going?”
My eyes widen at the feel of his warm palm against mine and the off-the-cuff compliment. He thinks I’m beautiful? It’s a start.
“Come on, big guy. It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you.”
The sun is setting in the west as we casually make our way to the substation to catch the train. There aren’t a lot of people headed downtown, so we are able to get a seat on the ride. The closeness of his body pressed to mine causes little butterflies inside my belly and the abnormal pitter-patter beats of my heart to race. Looking outside at the passing scenery, I can’t help but wonder what Momma would think. She loved everything about Christmastime.
“I remember my momma dressing us in our Christmas finery for photographs every year when I was little. Not just any family picture. She wanted to capture the spirit of the season. Kyle would attempt to waylay her with homework or some crazy off-the-wall excuse, especially when he started noticing girls.” I smile brightly at his snort. “But eventually he would relent, because he knew how much it meant to her.”
“Sounds like a lovely memory, Holly. Your birthday is sometime soon, isn’t it?
I slowly nod, astonished he remembered. “Momma’s Christmas miracle, that’s me.”
“Don’t look at me that way, little one. Believe it or not, there are many things that come to mind when I think about you.” I blush, knowing some of my younger teenage antics were outlandish. With tender care, he gently trails a tip of his finger down my cheek. He pauses before continuing. “It must be difficult for you—this time of year. You were really close to her, weren’t you?”
“I won’t lie to you; she wasn’t just my momma, she was my best friend in the entire universe. She understood me. But we both realized how sick she was. Her health was declining rapidly after the last the round of chemo; she didn’t bounce back like she had the times before. The horrible disease slowly took her away from me. In my heart, I knew it was my last time to share Christmas with her, so I made sure we followed every single tradition she had taught me. We counted down the days leading up to Christmas doing what she was able to, confined to the bed as she was, but it was the best Christmas I can remember us sharing.”
“She was a very special lady. I can tell you miss her.”
“I do, more than I like to think about. You know, I try really hard not to dwell on the negative stuff life throws my way. It’s a waste of time and energy. Looking forward and focusing on the positive things, well… it’s what she would have wanted. No, what she expected. She taught me to take one day at time and to cherish every single minute. Sometimes it’s really hard. I have to remember my promise to her, and then everything falls into place and I’m back on track, living my life how she raised me. Sometimes I feel her nudging me in a direction I’m not too sure about. It’s happening right now with you. A little like the surprise journey I have in store for you.”
“Do you now?”
“I’m inspired by the way she viewed life and want to help you, Michael. I want to help you find your Christmas spirit. Do you trust me enough to find out?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, Holly. Although I’m very intrigued as to what you have planned for me. You definitely have piqued my interest.”
The train slows. “Here’s our stop. Let’s go.” I stand and move to the sliding door.
I lose my balance as the train stops. Michael is there holding me up. I glance up to see his reaction with a twinkle in his eyes. He attempts his hardest not to laugh. I give in and relish in my haste.
“You know, I didn’t fall. Just thought the floor could use a little hug. I’m freaking awesome, by the way.”
The laughter he was holding in bursts forward. I’m stunned. Speechless. He’s simply male beautification personified. His long, sooty eyelashes display extraordinary lit sapphire eyes. The broad, sexy grin draws my attention to his seductive, pliable lips and rekindles the memory of the feelings they are capable of inducing inside of me. How could he be interested in me? I’m just the mega klutz sister of his best friend. His memories of me aren’t pretty. He’s a successful doctor, eligible bachelor of the year. I’m so out of my league thinking I have a chance at keeping his attention centered on me. Not just that; he’s still in love with his fiancée, according to my brother. I bet you my last dollar it doesn’t matter that she’s moved on or not. He still has feelings for her. Questions is, does he want me as a rebound or more? Only time will tell.
“Holly.” He’s caressing my elbow tenderly, a look of puzzlement at my silence. “Hey, little pixie. Where’d you go?”
“I… um…” My throat constricts, a lump forming at the way he’s looking at me, unknowingly piercing my soul. I crave something I’m not sure he’s capable of giving. “Just lost in the past,” I mumble.
He bends forward, watching my reaction, and places velvety feather-light kisses at the corner of my lips. I inhale a long, deep breath as his plush lips connect with mine and he takes control, bringing my body into his. My body fits the contour of his frame perfectly. My dream come true.
The intimate stroke of his warm tongue has me yearning for more. I wrap my fingers around his strong, muscular shoulders and pull, unable to get close enough. Desire consumes my actions. I want to crawl inside him and lose myself until there’s no Holly, no Michael, only us. I’m lost in sensations he’s evoking when the sound of little dings go off and the announcement that the green line will be leaving for its next stop.
I lower my forehead to his chest, trying to get my bearings. My lips are swollen and the taste of Michael inundates my senses and ability to think clearly. I’m totally off kilter from his passionate kiss, and if the pounding beat of his heart is an indication, he is as affected as I am.
“You should come with a sign around your neck,” I softly convey.
“Why in the world would you say that?”
“Because, Dr. Barnes, you are lethal,” I attempt to calmly answer.
He exudes confidence at my compliment, and I tug his hand, threading my fingers with his. I straighten and lead us toward the exit tunnel.
The chilly December weather helps cool my heated, aching body.
“Tell me what happened to make you ward off Christmas for good.”
“One word, or rather person. Ella. She pretended to be someone she wasn’t. In reality, she loved another. End of story. Let’s drop this subject, okay? I’m enjoying my time with you and don’t want to think about her.”
“Sure. Whatever you want. I’ll let it go. For now.”
“Holly,” he swiftly warns me.
“My lips are sealed. Come on. We’re almost there.”
Another piece to the puzzle. He’s vulnerable. She took his pride and crushed him, throwing his commitment to her away. Stupid crazy. What she had, I want more than anything.
My pulse races with excitement that I’m about to share a special memory from my Christmas past with Michael. We’re nearing our destination as we walk hand in hand down Constitution Avenue. Halfway down the block, I stop and position him with his back to my first gift of the season. Ready for my plan to unfold.
“Please close your eyes, Michael.”
He stares deeply into mine, searching. Then complies.
“One of the first magical memories I have of Christmas was when my momma brought me here. As a little girl, my eyes were wide with wonder and awe at the spectacle of The Pageant of Peace.”
I pivot us until he is facing the magnificent evergreen tree. “Open your eyes and see the beauty for yourself. Look how it sparkles and shines. The blinking colors of times gone by. The National Christmas Tree is a living tree representing peace and hope for everyone throughout the year. Just like the season. All you have to do is believe. Make a wish, Michael.”
I hold my breath and wait.
“I’m not sure I can. What would I possibly wish for?”
“Anything. Everything. Something special you want. You can do it. You’re special, Michael. There’re millions of stars in the sky and only one person made for you. You might have thought it was this Ella person, but the cosmos believed otherwise. Look around you, Michael, and you will see. Open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you. Wish for peace and hope to return. Wish for happiness instead of the sadness you’ve been wallowing in. Wish for a new beginning. It’s all possible. It’s Christmastime.”
“You make it seem so simple, Holly. There’re a lot of things you don’t understand.”
“What? You mean losing someone special and feeling your world crumble around into tiny little pieces? Look, I might not have been engaged, but losing someone, be it a fiancée or a parent, hurts badly. It takes time to mourn, but then you pick yourself up and wipe yourself off and start over. That’s the beauty of life. Second chances are around every corner waiting for you to grab hold. Don’t miss your chance. Open your mind to the possibilities. You can do this. I believe in you, Michael. I really do.”
“Okay, Holly. I’ll give your way a go, only because I want you to be happy.” He blinks a couple of times and stares at the glimmering, decorated tree, and then back at me. The intensity of his swirling emotions distinctly visible.
He slowly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, releasing it. Seconds pass as I patiently wait for him to come to terms with what I’ve suggested—to let the past stay where it belongs, behind him. Does he want to move on? Am I pushing him for something he’s not ready for? Either way, I’m putting myself out there, hoping for my Christmas miracle and possibly a little romance along the way.
Chapter 7
“There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” ~ Michael Barnes
“You want me to do what?” I peer at the gorgeous imp standing in front of me for the second time. One delicate hand is fisted on her tiny hip, while the other is offering me a totally offensive-to-my-ego costume.
“Put on the suit, Michael. It’s simple. Or are you chicken?” she challenges, flapping her arms, grinning from ear to ear. A carefree spirit spreading her happiness.
“Oh no, you didn’t.”
“Yep. I totally did.”
Holly’s made it her mission in the interim of her holiday break from teaching to remind me of the true meaning of Christmas, and little by little, my resolve is weakening. Truth be told, I miss enjoying the festivities of the season. When I decided to block out all emotions and feelings tied to Ella, including O Come All Ye Faithful, candy canes, and shit, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. But after visiting the National Christmas Tree decorated, an iconic symbol of goodwill and peace to all, sharing it with Holly, I have to admit that I may have gone too far in attempting to eradicate the loneliness and ache Ella’s betrayal and departure with Grayson left me with.
It’s just that the nagging pain and empty loss overshadowed everything else. Enough so, I didn’t want to celebrate anything ever again. There wasn’t a point. But now, I’m reevaluating my position—because of Holly.
Then, when she asked me to make a wish… Not going to go there right now. I can’t deal with the consequences of being denied for a second time.
My desire is growing for Holly, an unfurling need I thought I’d lost forever. It’s present each time we’re together, plummeting deep into my parched, shriveled-up soul, connecting us deeper. Her gentle persistence and cute quirkiness call to my over-organized, very strict moral code. My wish for new beginnings, just like she said a few nights earlier, starts with her.
“Michael? Hello? Knock. Knock. Are you listening to me? We have to get a move on for the next special Christmas time escapade I wish to share with you. Please, just put the suit on. What’s it gonna hurt?”
Damn it. Her fleeting plea shakes me up, and I just can’t resist. Amusement intermixed with contentment washing over me, I reply, “Just promise me one thing, Holly.”
Immediately she replies, “Name it. Anything.”
“Promise me that after the end of this journey you’re taking me on today, I’ll get some kind of reward.” Arching my eyebrow and smiling my best come-and-get-me-baby grin, I aim for seduction. “I mean, the National Christmas Tree was pretty amazing the other night. Thank you for taking me.” I brush feather-light wisps against her check with my fingers. “But what are you going to do for me if I do this?” I hold up the red suit she’s expecting me to wear, looking it over. I’m not sure what the end game is, and let’s just say I’m skeptical. I’m hopeful Holly will share with me another treat of her sugar-sweet lips.
“Well.” She reaches inside her bag and pulls out another colorful suit, an elf’s costume. Red and green candy cane striped. Santa’s little helper. She holds it up, and I choke back a groan as my imagination goes wild. “If you’re a good boy, that can be arranged.” Wiggling her eyebrows up and down, Holly places her head against my beating heart. When she shifts upwards and gently kisses my lips, the taste of cinnamon and peppermint lingers. It reminds me of Christmas and family, but mostly of her.
“Alright. I guess you persuaded me. It’s seems
to be happening way too often, but I’ll bite. Give me a few, and Old Saint Nick will be ready to go.” Winking at her, I make my way into the bedroom.
“I’m gonna go get dressed in the other room. I’ll meet you out here in ten minutes or so. Don’t forget the fluffing; we wouldn’t want Santa to be a skinny minny,” Holly shouts as I shut the door. She’s piling it on. Little imp.
The sweet sound of her singing the childhood tune Santa Claus Is Coming To Town echoes off the walls in the apartment.
“Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry…” Her no-filter temperament causes a tightening in my chest, filled with happiness, and I don’t want to contain it anymore. I breathe it in. Holly’s perky attitude refreshes my tattered, torn spirit, and I realize quickly I’m addicted to her innocent view of life.
On the ride to our destination on the subway, kids line up one after the other, tugging on my jacket, wanting to whisper their Christmas wishes in hopes Ol’ St. Nick delivers on Christmas morning. This only adds to Holly’s happiness. She beams each time a child finds the courage to approach me.
We arrive at St. Jude Children’s Hospital just as the sun is starting to set in the dusky sky. Interesting. What does she have in store for tonight?
“Why are we here, Holly? I’ve been in hospitals for years. Doctor, remember?” I remind her.
“I understand that, Mr. Claus. But give me a minute to explain why this one’s special to me.” She holds on to the sleeve of my jacket, garnering my undivided attention, as I lean and listen closely. “This is a special family tradition I hope to pass on to my children one day. Since I was a little girl, my parents would bring me to this hospital, without fail every Christmas season, beginning on the first day of December. We would visit two or three times the last week leading up to the magical day every terminally ill child we could, in hopes of showering them with goodness, love, and the belief that anything is possible. And, of course, lots of special presents. Because the more we got to know the children, the better we understood what their gift should be.” She beams over at me, just as my nose twitches and I sneeze from the tickling nuisance of the synthetic on the fake beard.
