by Kara Hart
That’s just fantasy. That isn’t real life. Real life is the door to this mansion opening and Ricky pointing a silver revolver in my face. But, before I get to the door, I hear a rustling in the bushes to my right. “Who’s there?” I call out.
To my surprise, Giovanni shows his face and whispers, “Today’s your lucky day. Just keep being normal and everything will work out. I’m saving your ass.”
I simply nod and knock at Ricky’s door. I guess things might turn out okay. Only, I don’t rely on nice thoughts.
When Ricky opens the door, he smiles wide and crazy. “Today just gets better and better for me,” he says to me, gnarling his teeth together. “Get inside.”
I walk in, feeling my boots clack against the marble tile. “Nice place you got yourself here,” I say. It only cost him a bunch of people’s lives. Maybe mine can build a new spa for the outside pool area.
“Thanks,” he laughs. “I think the last time you came here was when my father was still alive. It’s a shame he had to pass.”
“Yes, it is,” I sigh. “He was a little more democratic about things.”
“Come off it,” Ricky motions for me to sit down in the main room, so I do. He continues to stand above me with his gun pointed at my skull. I wish he’d stop aiming that thing at me. I don’t like feeling like my sentences will get cut off with a bullet. If he’s going to kill me, he should let me stand with dignity.
“You would have died regardless,” he tells me as if I don’t already know that. “My father didn’t put up with traitors.”
“Right,” I say, hoping he’ll just get on with everything, but I know now that he’s going to make a big production out of this. It’s always been about his ego. Even before he was the Don, he was all about himself. He’s a terrible leader and I’m surprised no one has taken him out already.
“You know, you’ve made my life quite a bit easier,” he laughs. “You’ve killed all of my competitors!”
“I guess I didn’t think that through,” I mutter, leaning back against the leather chair. I grab one of the cigars on the table in front of me and light it up without asking. I figure one of them is at least for me.
“You really didn’t,” he waves his gun at me. “You see, now everyone will be coming to me for business. And your little girlfriend, Bianca—”
“Your cousin,” I correct him. He simply smiles wide.
“Right. My cousin,” he nods. “My beautiful cousin. She’ll be with me now. And I’ll have gotten everything I’ve wished for. So I guess, in essence, I just want to say thank you. You’ve really given me a lot, Hunter.”
“Great,” I say. I’m hoping that’s the end of it. But, of course, it’s not.
“Follow me,” he says, turning his back towards me, walking out to the backyard. In the corner of my eyes, I can see men in each section of the room, wielding fully automatic weapons. He’s protected well and I guess that puts him at ease. How the hell is Giovanni going to finish him off?
His backyard is at least five acres. He throws his arms up and shouts, “How do you like it?”
“It’s fine,” I say, shrugging.
“Good,” he nods in approval. “Because this is where you’ll die. You won’t be buried here, however. We’ve got a special place for you. Under the freeway bridge. Down south, near the water.
“Sounds perfect,” I cross my arms. Does he really think I give a shit about where he buries me? Why is he dragging this out so long? Where the fuck is Giovanni?
“You’re no fun,” he sighs. “You know that? You’re like a wet blanket. You killed the chase.”
“The chase?” I ask him, starting to feel annoyed. I have half a mind to end this right here. I could grab his gun and all the guards could blow my body to smithereens. That honestly is starting to sound better than listening to him talk.
“It’s always been my favorite part,” he smiles. “The whole killing thing is pretty boring when you think about it. I like a good hunt. You were okay for a while, until you went and turned yourself in. Tell me, why’d you do it? I have to know.”
“I did it to get Bianca out of danger,” I tell him.
“Well then,” he starts, laughing loudly, “you should have killed me first.”
“It’s funny how you’re always assuming things,” I chuckle, looking at the perimeter of the building. It’s dark and muggy outside. The guards patrol silently, as if they’re ghosts. Something tells me that maybe they aren’t as loyal as they seem.
“Assuming? Me?” he asks me. “After you’re gone, she will become my wife. And then she’ll have my children. Three boys who will eventually take over this whole business. And after I’ve used her up like a dog, she’ll be there solely to raise the children, clean, and cook me my fucking dinners.”
“You dumb motherfucker,” I smile. “You didn’t even think when you let me in those gates. Did you?” His smile turns south. He’s suddenly looking around himself and slowly backing away from me. I’m walking forward and I continue to speak clear so he can understand what I’m about to tell him.
“You didn’t just let me in,” I say to him. “You let in all your enemies.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Guards! What the fuck are you talking about?” he hisses. “Guards!” he screams again. Only, the guards slowly walk up behind me, aiming their rifles at Ricky.
He swiftly checks his pants for his gun, but he’s without a weapon. “Looking for this?” Giovanni comes up behind him, aiming Ricky’s own gun at his skull.
“Giovanni? What the fuck?” he spits out, unable to believe what has just happened to him. “I gave you everything, dammit! You can’t betray me like this! You can’t.”
Giovanni simply moves forward. He places the barrel of the gun directly onto Ricky’s cheek. “When you took me on that ride the other day, you showed me what it’s like to be the boss of the family. Five star restaurants, all the women you can handle, and man those flashy cars seemed fucking nice,” he laughs and continues. “But then I saw how much you paid your men. And I saw how much you paid me and I thought to myself, why am I here taking orders from this guy when I could set up my own thing? I could do better for my men and my family. And my sister could live in peace with the man she loves.”
“Giovanni,” he starts laughing as if everything is alright. It’s a last ditch effort to get out of this alive. “You’re right. We can make a whole lot of money together. Think about all the possibilities. With my connections, we could run all of New York, Chicago, Detroit… You name the city and it’s ours.”
Giovanni smiles when I step forward. “The only thing you’ll ever own again,” I tell him, “is that suit you’re wearing.”
Giovanni backs me up. “You’re lucky you’re family,” he sighs, pulling his gun off him. “Otherwise, I’d kill you right now. You sick bastard. Do you think you’d really get away with touching my sister like that? You’re her fucking cousin. Don’t you have any decency?”
Ricky falls to his knees and starts pleading. “I’m sorry,” he cries. “I guess I got a lot of things wrong. I can change though. I can be better. I’ll serve under you. I’ll do anything you ask.”
“Fuck you,” he shoots Ricky right in the leg and Ricky lets out a blood-curdling scream.
“My fucking leg!” Ricky’s eyes light up with pain. “I’ll kill you. I swear to God, I’ll have you hung, you little bastard!”
“Get out of here,” I tell Ricky. “And never come back. The only reason we’re letting you live is out of respect. Consider this your exile. You’ll never run a gang again.”
“We’ll be keeping tabs on you wherever you go. It doesn’t matter how far you go. We’ll be there,” Giovanni laughs to himself, glancing at one of the guards. Soon, those men will be Made. They’ll get their shot at being real gangsters. “I hope you like working in fast food for the rest of your life.”
“I’ll never fucking do it,” he hisses at us. “You can’t make me.”
“If you don�
��t,” Giovanni says, “you won’t get another chance. I’ll come into where you’re living and I’ll kill you in your sleep. Don’t test me, Ricky. I’ve learned a lot in these past few years. I know what it’s like to kill a man. Remember, you showed me how.”
I motion for one of the guards to take him away. “It’s over,” I say. One of the men grabs him by the shirt collar, kneeing him in the chest and dragging him out of there. Of course Ricky screamed. He kicked and tried to squirm out of it, but deep down he knew it was over forever. He had his chance to be a real leader and he lost it all very quickly. That’s how easy big men fall.
I turn to Giovanni and I give him a hug. “Thank you,” I tell him. “I know it wasn’t in the plan. But I’m glad we arranged this. It’s time you lead the family name. You’ll be a better boss than any of the guys in the past.”
“Fuck it,” he says. “I’m glad he’s gone. I would have died if I kept working for that son of a bitch. Anyway, there’s someone you should get back to.”
Bianca. “Yeah,” I smile. “She’s probably swearing me off right this second.”
“There’s always time to fix things,” he laughs. “My sister is a hard headed woman, but she’s also a good woman who knows right from wrong. She’ll forgive you eventually. You just really need to put in the effort.”
“Don’t I know it,” I laugh. “Well, goodbye. I’ll be seeing you around, brother.”
He nods and I walk out of the building, disappearing into the night. No longer would I have to walk these streets. I could leave and become normal. And if Bianca decides I’m worthy enough to take back, maybe I could follow her to the coast. I’ve never been to California before.
Bianca
He’s gone. He’s really fucking gone. I’m at a total loss. I’ve seen plenty of people disappear in this city, but I was never as affected by it until now. Before, it all just seemed like part of the lifestyle. With Hunter, it was different. He wanted out. He wanted a new start. He was actually trying, dammit.
And now he’s going to end up just like the rest of them. Things could have been fine. We could have worked through everything. I was willing to run all the way to Southeast Asia for Christ’s sake. If it meant I could spend a life with him, I would run.
I guess that’s why he left. He knew his past would drag me down. To most people, that would seem honorable. To me, it just felt heartless and stupid. How could he leave me to suffer like this? How was I supposed to pick up the pieces and make my life normal now? I had experienced too much with him. My hopes were through the roof. I was dumb to fall in so deep with him and I’m starting to hate myself for it.
I can’t stop crying like a fucking baby. Shape up, Bianca. You’re stronger than this. You don’t need him. You need yourself. That’s it.
I pick up my phone and dial Teresa’s number, but when it rings, I hang up. There’s nothing to say to anyone. All anyone can tell me is they’re sorry. But sorry doesn’t help to ease the pain. It doesn’t bring Hunter back. It’s just a word designed to shut people up.
Besides, Teresa isn’t anyone to talk to. She showed her true colors the other day. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and the stupid gang her father belongs to. In her eyes, I was just another face to talk gossip with.
I just need to get back home. I needed my own bed and I needed to dive into my studies. Still, I keep staring at my window like he’s going to open it. I just want him to come in and take me away. It’s a pipe dream, I know. I know Hunter will turn into a distant memory and, someday, I’ll be forced to move on. Life is like that. It doesn’t let you hold onto things for too long. It throws unexpected punches. You have to be ready to duck out of the way.
I fall asleep, holding my pillow. Tears dry against my cheek, but quickly I forget about the night before. I dream of better times. I’m older and I’m in a foreign city. I’m working in law finally and I’ve got a few kids. They go run off and play and I’m left to sit and think about the life I’ve led.
I’m happy in this dream and it feels so real. I hear a knock at the door and I walk up to it, knowing it’s a package I’ve been expecting. At least, that’s what I think in the dream. I open the door and there’s a blinding white light.
Suddenly, I’m old and sick. I’m in my bed and I’m looking back on my life. My kids surround me and I know this is my last breath. I hear a slow and steady knock. Then I wake up.
“What?” I moan, twisting my body around. I suddenly feel a set of hands. I nearly jump out of my skin. “What?” The hands squeeze against my shoulders as I open my eyes to find Hunter and my father standing over me.
“Honey,” my dad says. “I’m sorry to wake you so early before your flight. But I believe you know this man?” Giovanni is in the hallway and he gives me a smile. I can only assume what that means, but Hunter says it aloud.
“Ricky’s gone,” he says. “We got him out of the city for good. He’s alive and well, and we’re making sure he’ll never see you again.”
“He’s alive?” I ask. “You promise?”
“I promise,” Hunter tells me, sitting on the bed.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” my dad says. I can only guess how happy he is, now that Ricky’s gone. He shuts the door quietly and leaves us to ourselves.
“What the fuck?” I nearly scream at him, jumping out of my bed. “Why did you leave me like that? Did you plan this all along? Did you really think you could just come back here after you told me this was over for good?”
“I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I had to.”
“Bullshit!” I whisper loudly so my father can’t hear me. “You selfish asshole! I’ve been crying for hours over you.”
“Hey, come here,” he says, opening his arms up. He moves forward, but I push him back. He can’t get away with what he did that easy. “Fine, I get it. You hate me. But I did what I had to do. I didn’t know I could turn this around, but your brother really helped me out. He saved my life in the end.”
“My brother? What does Giovanni have to do with this?” I ask him.
“Look, don’t get mad at me. It wasn’t my idea,” he sighs. “He came up with a plan and got Ricky’s guys to turn on him. I was on my way to my grave, Bianca. Can’t you be glad to see me alive?”
I fall back onto my bed. “You bastard, of course I’m happy to see you alive!” I say, with a shaky and emotional tone to my voice. “I’m just in shock, okay? I didn’t think you’d be here in this room again. I honestly thought I’d never see you again.”
“Me too,” he says, sitting down next to me. “Look, you’re the one thing in this life that has kept me going. Without you, I would have died long ago. I always anticipated going out in a big ball of flames,” he laughs and shakes his head. “Man was I stupid. It was always you, Bianca. Always. I couldn’t give my life up because I couldn’t bear to be away from you.”
I lean my body against his and take a deep breath in, smelling his cologne. “I’ve missed your smell. I’ve missed the way you feel against me,” I admit. “I’ve missed the way you look at me with hesitance, like you’re actually nervous to be around me. I’ve even missed your cocky arrogance, dammit. I’m really happy you’re here, Hunter. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he says. “So does this mean I can come with you, or what?” he asks.
“You? In San Francisco?” I laugh, unable to figure out if this is actually reality. “Am I still dreaming? You think you’ll like it out there with me?”
“Does it feel like a dream to you?” he leans forward and kisses me, wrapping his hand around the back of my head. He caresses my body and we kiss for a solid minute or two. “I think I’d love it there with you. In fact, I know I would.”
“Actually,” I laugh. “It does feel like I’m dreaming. I can’t believe you’re here. I can’t believe you came back to me.”
“Is that a yes?” he asks me.
“Of course it’s a yes. I can’t imagine a life without you,” I say. �
�Even if you are a bastard.”
He laughs at that statement. “I can’t believe you don’t hate me,” he says, running his hand through my hair.
I laugh and close my eyes. There are no words to say. I just want to feel him right now. I just want to be close to him.
“I’m not mad anymore,” I smile. “I feel oddly at peace.”
“Peace,” he sighs. “I never knew what that word meant until I came across you. Just one look at you made me feel so damn good. I want to work at this for the rest of my life. I want to be the man I never could before. I know it’ll be tough. I know there will be a million setbacks. But if I’m with you, I know I can get through anything.”
“I believe in you, Hunter,” I tell him. “I know you’re better than this life. I want you to live out your dreams. You deserve to.”
“You know, it’s funny,” he laughs. “I’ve always wanted to be a cook at a nice Italian restaurant. I know that sounds crazy and maybe a little stupid. But, back in the day, I used to cook the guy’s meals and I was really good at it. It’s probably the only thing I’ve ever been good at besides the business.”
“Thank God, I’m with a guy who can cook,” I tease.
* * *
We wake up with no time to spare and my alarm is going through the roof. I slap the top of it and find Hunter wide-awake next to my suitcases. “Ready?” He’s pacing around the room.
“I’m tired,” I close my eyes and yawn. When I sit back up, I look at him earnestly. “Are you sure you want to do this? You want to move to the other coast with me? You’ll have to meet all my annoying friends and deal with me doing my homework and studying all the time. It’ll be different from Detroit. Much different.” I bite my lip and hold my breath. I guess I expect him to call it off at any second.
