Ryan nodded slowly. “That explains it. Think about it. If I didn’t have this other information to chase, I’d be coming down on both of you a little harder, but I’m not going to bring her to the station. You need to think really hard about whether keeping that information close to the chest is hindering our investigation.” He pulled into Nate’s driveway and put his car in park, then turned to level a serious look at Nate. “Withholding information from an active investigation can be a crime, as you know.”
Nate said, “I’ll talk to her when she’s calmer. This wasn’t the time to raise the question, Ryan. Trust me on that. Lauren is close to going over the edge, and I’m not going to be the one to push her. My intent is to be there for her so I can catch her if she falls.”
Ryan said, “I’ll respect that for now.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Nate stepped inside his house, surprised to see Sam sitting on the couch. Had that much time passed? “Sam.” He acknowledged his brother with a nod, then walked over to the fridge to grab a beer.
Sam launched right into it. “There’s something wrong with this picture, Nate, and we’re going to talk about it.”
He spun around to glare at his brother, not in the mood for a lecture after the day he’d had. Hadn’t Sam already made his point clear? “What are you talking about?”
“You just got done telling me how much you like this girl, and then you barked orders at her at the worst possible time. The woman was traumatized! Didn’t you hear yourself?”
Nate ran his hand through his hair and started to pace, uncomfortable with the accusation. Part of him knew Sam was right, but that didn’t mean he had been wrong. “She needed to be somewhere she could be watched.” The volume of his voice rose as he spoke, his defensiveness kicking in. “Where are those idiot frat boys more likely to attack her? Some small apartment with two women in it or at a huge lake house that could have fifteen people inside at any given moment? Think about it. She’s safer at her parents’ house right now. She’s…she’s not thinking clearly.”
“Neither are you,” Sam said frankly. “The circumstances are irrelevant. You’re making the same mistake you made with Mandy.”
He started to say something, make some kind of rebuttal, but Sam held up his hands and said, “Look, I’m glad you and Mandy split. You weren’t right for each other. I just don’t want to see you sabotage another relationship.”
“Is that why you countermanded me and asked for the address of her apartment?”
Sam got up and moved into his brother’s face. “I did that because it’s my job. I do what people ask me to do. And Nate, it’s your job, too. We take people where they want to go unless they’re unstable and require emergency treatment, in which case we take them to the nearest hospital.”
“We took her to the safest place,” Nate insisted, shaking his head.
His brother’s face turned red. “Did she give you a hug and a big thank you?” he asked, his voice raising in volume, too. “Because I’m betting she was barely speaking to you by the time you left.”
Tristan came in the front door, his eyes wide. “What the hell’s gotten into you two? I could hear you from outside.”
Sam said, “Nothing new. Just our brother trying to control everyone around him again.”
Nate closed his eyes and slumped into the easy chair. Sam was right, he knew he’d been a complete ass. What had come over him? He lowered his face into his hands. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I knew it in the truck, but I couldn’t stop myself. She wouldn’t even look me in the eye when I left.”
Sam sat down on the couch not far from him. “I’d hoped that things might change after you saved that woman in the car accident. That maybe you could finally let go of the past.”
He jerked his head to stare at his brother, scowling. “What does that have to do with this?”
“You can’t see it, can you?” Sam asked softly.
“See what?”
“That you still feel guilty for Mom’s death, when the truth is that there was nothing you or anyone could have done to save her. Her chest was crushed in the accident. Her lungs were collapsing. Even if you’d freed her, you couldn’t have stopped the damage that was already done. She was too far gone.”
“You don’t know that.” He bolted back out of his chair and started pacing again, needing an outlet for the nervous energy. He could have saved her. Had he gotten her free, maybe the EMTs could have done something. Maybe her chest hadn’t been crushed until the last few minutes. If he’d only gotten to her sooner…
“Yeah, I do,” Sam insisted. “I spoke with the EMTs, and I’ve asked many doctors since then. Even if her lungs hadn’t collapsed, her internal injuries would have killed her. The entire front of the vehicle had her pinned in that car. It literally crushed the life out of her, not you.”
“Maybe the surgeons could have…”
“Stop, for God’s sake. It’s time to let it go, Nate. You need to stop torturing yourself.”
Tristan, who’d stood watching them, speechless, took a step toward Nate. “He’s right. It wasn’t your fault. No part of it was your fault. You need to stop trying to fix everything and everyone to make up for it. You’re a great EMT and firefighter. You help people every day, and you’ve done everything you can to keep us together. Look, maybe I don’t act like it sometimes, but I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
Nate fell back into the chair. “I know I acted like an ass today. I’m just afraid…I don’t want to lose her. She means too much to me already.” He stared at his hands. “Maybe I do become a little crazy when I think I’m going to lose someone. When that call came in…my mind was wild… I couldn’t focus on anything but getting to her.”
Tristan sat next to Sam on the couch. “Maybe it’s time for you to just enjoy each other,” Sam said. “I think Ryan has the investigation under control.”
Tristan nodded emphatically. “You’re a lot of fun on the volleyball court or boating, but when you’re in charge of anything, you kind of suck.”
Nate laughed. “Thanks for your blunt honesty, Tristan. I can’t disagree with you guys. And as for just enjoying each other? I wish we could.” He sighed. “All these mind games they’re playing with her…they’re taking a toll. It’s tough watching her go through this.”
“You can’t make it all go away any more than you could have fixed Mom,” Sam said. “But you can be there to help her get through it.”
“I wish I had a nice girlfriend. I’d be kicking you guys out every night for two hours,” Tristan said with a grin.
Sam guffawed. “I’m betting it would only take you two minutes, not two hours…”
Tristan glared at him, then burst out laughing. “You’re probably right.”
“How are your classes?” Nate asked, rubbing his hands together. He had to do better, be kinder, more considerate. He couldn’t love the people close to him any more than he already did, but his people skills? Tristan was right. They could use some serious improvement.
“Good. And thanks for making me go the other day. I got matched with a group of beautiful ladies for the accounting project.”
They shared a laugh, but Nate’s nerves didn’t settle. They wouldn’t until he fixed things. He grabbed his beer off the coffee table. “Now what do I do? I messed things up today.”
“She’s probably exhausted,” Sam said with a shrug. “I’d let her rest tonight. Text her tomorrow. Try to see her.”
He played with the label on his beer, peeling it away in spots. “Maybe the police will have found something by then.”
“Just apologize. You were both stressed by the situation. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“You’re right, but I’m not going to let this lie. I’ll call Ryan in the morning. If he hasn’t turned anything up by morning, I’ll go after the bastards myself.”
***
Nate didn’t have to work the next day, so he got up around eight and picked up his phone, trying to
decide whether or not it was too early to text Lauren. The house was quiet because Sam had left for work and Tristan was already at the gym. To his surprise, his text alert went off while he held it. A message from Lauren popped up.
Sorry about last night. I appreciate what you did for me.
You’re welcome. I have some apologizing of my own to do.
He waited, trying to decide what to say next. He finally chose: How about breakfast? It would be easier to talk with her if they were face to face. He didn’t believe in the teen-age method of depending on messaging for everything.
Sounds great. Want to go out? I’m not great at making breakfast.
I’m pretty good at it. I can pick you up. He didn’t want to apologize in front of the people at Deb’s Diner.
Okay. I’m ready any time.
Be there in ten minutes.
He checked the fridge, pleased to see a dozen eggs, sausage links in the freezer and a loaf of rye bread on the counter. Sam had even picked up some fresh blueberries and strawberries.
He hopped in his truck, and to his surprise, Lauren was waiting outside the lake house for him. Had something happened? He jumped out as soon as he saw her. “Is everything all right?”
She gave him a warm smile. “Yes. It’s just such a beautiful day, I decided to wait outside for you. There are even a few boats out fishing this morning. I love the sound of boats on the water. It’s calming to me.”
Unsure of exactly what to do because she’d mostly rejected him last night, he opened the passenger door for her. She stopped in front of him and lifted onto her toes to give him a kiss. “I meant what I said. Sorry about last night.”
He kissed her again, needing to convince himself she was no longer upset—and to remind him how sweet she tasted. She smelled of coconut and orange, an unusual combination, but he decided one was from her shampoo and the other from orange juice she must have just had.
Once they were on their way, they made small talk, which suited him fine. He’d rather go into apology mode face to face. It would seem half-hearted if he tried to talk to her while he was driving.
“What’s your breakfast specialty?” she asked.
“Scrambled eggs. I hope you like them.”
“I love them. It’s my favorite breakfast, but I tend to burn them. I’m better at dinner.”
“And your specialty?”
“I like to cook big meals. Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, stuffing…you know. The typical Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey is my favorite meat. Or ham and scalloped potatoes.”
“I’d love to try your turkey dinner sometime. Don’t invite my brothers, though. Tristan will eat all your mashed potatoes.”
Out of the blue, she said, “Ryan called this morning.”
“And?”
“They…they found the video on someone’s phone. A member of Gamma Delta. He said it’s quite clear. They’ll be analyzing it today and pulling men in for questioning.”
“Lauren, that’s wonderful. I hope it makes you feel better.”
He glanced at her as he pulled into his driveway. Tears were welling in her eyes. When he shut the engine off, he reached for her hand. “This could end most of your problems. If it turns out this frat is behind the attacks, they’ll be shut down immediately.”
She nodded, smiling through her tears. “I know. This could all finally be over.” She reached for him and fell against him, kissing him with more passion and intensity than she ever had before.
Nate couldn’t help but respond to her. Before he knew it, he was nearly lying on top of her, kissing her senseless. She just pulled him closer, only stopping long enough to whisper, “More,” the word coming out raspy and full of desire.
Hell, but that one word turned him hard in an instant.
“I want you, Nate. All of you.”
He kissed a path down her neck and into the creamy valley between her breasts, peeking out of her V-neck sweater. “Lauren, you are so beautiful. You’re driving me mad.”
He captured her lips with his again and she moaned, the tiniest of sounds that came from the back of her throat and seemed to travel straight to his cock. Hell, he didn’t know if he could stop this time. His hands cupped her breasts, massaging them until he could feel her nipples peak through the soft material of her bra.
Lauren whispered, “Make love to me, Nate.”
Her words stunned him, though it was what he wanted, too. More than anything. He pulled away from her. “Lauren, I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but not here. I…I’ve fallen in love with you, and that scares the hell out of me, but I want to be a better man for you. If you’re sure that you want this, no one is home. We can go inside, and I promise to love you the way you should be loved.”
She nodded, “I love you, too. I don’t want to wait. Please?”
He wasn’t sure what possessed him, but he carried her, princess-style, into the house. He just didn’t want to stop touching her. Once they were inside his room, he helped her with her outer clothing, but then stopped to kiss her—a sweet kiss to let her know how much she meant to him.
She turned the kiss passionate, slanting her mouth over his to get more of him. Blood roared through his veins, and he had to struggle to slow down, take this at her pace and not his own.
He kissed a trail from her mouth down her throat until he came to the swell of her breasts, then reached back to the clasp in her bra, freeing her beautiful mounds. Cupping them gently, he watched as her eyes closed in pleasure and then, when he teased her nipples, she tipped her head back in delight. He thought he’d lose it right there just from watching her, from seeing the pleasure she took in his touch, but she completely surprised him. Lifting her gaze to his, she removed her pants and then reached for his shirt, peeling it away from him.
He urged her onto the bed, helping her shed her panties and removing his own pants before climbing in next to her.
“Lauren, if you want to stop, just say so. We’ll go only as far as you like.”
She didn’t hesitate. “I want it all, Nate,” she said, running her hands over his bare chest. “I want you now. I love you, Nate. Please don’t make me wait.”
He didn’t argue, instead settling his head between her breasts, taking his time to lave each one until she cried out, her hands gripping his hair. How he wished to bury himself inside her, bring her to a fast peak, and listen to her cries of pleasure, but he vowed to wait. He noticed a couple of bruises still visible, so he kissed them as delicately as he could.
What would be the best way?
He finally stopped and said, “Touch me. I want you to know me, not be afraid of me.”
She slid her hands down his abdomen to his arousal, gripping him and wrapping her hand around him as he groaned, closing his eyes. “I don’t want you to fear me.”
“I don’t. I trust you completely, Nate. The only thing I worry about is your weight on me. If I feel like you’re overpowering me, I’m afraid I’ll react because it’s the memory I hated most. Just tell me what to do. I’m confused…” she panted, apparently lost in her own need.
Pleased to hear her passion, he rolled onto his back and said, “I want you to be completely in control of the situation. Why don’t you be on top, then you can stop whenever you want. We’ll go at your pace.” He reached for the drawer of his nightstand and drew out a condom. After he rolled it on, he reached for the juncture between her thighs, pleased to feel how much she wanted him. “Straddle me.”
She got up on her knees and did as he asked, and he guided her to the best position, settling her above his erection. “Feel me, rub yourself against me lightly. Tease yourself however you want. I want you to feel good, Lauren.” He reached for her breasts, caressing her and tweaking her nipples as she writhed against him. At first she was hesitant, but she soon picked up her own rhythm.
She caught his gaze and rasped out, “This feels so right, Nate.”
He reached for her hips and said, “Guide me inside you.�
� Once she completely sheathed him, he closed his eyes and groaned at how tight she was, how slick she was for him. “Set your pace,” he managed to say, holding her hands as she brought him in even further until he thought he’d explode.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lauren gasped when she was fully seated on him, her eyes widening with surprise at the pleasure of feeling him so deep inside her. She’d never imagined it could be like this. “Oh my, Nate. You feel wonderful inside me.”
“Finish it, love.”
She could tell he was doing his best to control his urges, so she began a pulsating rhythm over him, driving him in as deep as she could, over and over until she wanted to scream. He reached for her clit, and she cried out as his touch sent her over the edge. So many sensations reeled through her that she called out his name, clutching him as she climaxed, her needs rolling in waves as her body convulsed on him.
When she was able, she looked at him as his entire body turned rigid and he finished with a roar inside her. She was barely able to collapse onto him as he brought her down to his side, cradling her, kissing her forehead as they both sought to calm the storm that had raged between them.
Lauren curled on her side and tucked her head onto Nate’s shoulder. She’d finally experienced how the physical part of love was supposed to be between two people. All she could do was sigh with pleasure.
“No regrets?” he asked, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
She tipped her head back, staring at this man who had just shown her how much he cherished her. “None. Did I please you?”
“You couldn’t tell? Shall I say immensely? Yes, this was wonderful. And for you? Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes. It was much more than I ever expected.”
He rubbed his thumb across her cheek, just the way she liked. “I want to tell you something if you have a few minutes to listen.”
“I do. I would love to know more about you. Everything.”
“I…I should have told you before, but I’m not good with words. I want to try to explain why I was such an ass before. I shouldn’t have tried to tell you what to do.” He took a deep breath and sighed.
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