by L. E. Bross
A slow smile curled her lips upward and she opened her eyes. They were soft and dazed, and I wanted to sink into them and never come back out.
She reached down and tugged on the button of my jeans. I took her hand and pulled it to my lips and kissed it. “Dinner first.”
Her eyebrows dipped down. “But you said dessert first.”
I pressed my lips to hers and took her mouth in a slow, deep kiss. “Baby, I had the sweetest dessert ever. Now I want dinner.”
“Is that code for sex?” she asked, and I chuckled at the hopeful note in her voice.
“Come on, you have culinary talents to amaze me with.”
“But what about you?” She sat up and ran her fingers over the hardness in my jeans. I sucked in a breath. I felt her touch in my toes.
“Oh, don’t worry. Later, after dinner, there’s more dessert. A lot more.” I dropped a quick kiss on her lips and hopped off the bed. If I didn’t get a few feet between us, I would have my dick out and inside her in about two minutes.
Which she wouldn’t mind at all, but I wanted to make sure she knew that what was going on between us was more than just sex. Holding off while we did something normal like cook dinner just felt right.
No matter how uncomfortable my jeans currently were.
It’s not like I’ve ever been one to deny urges. Hell, before prison there wasn’t a day that I couldn’t find a willing female. I didn’t even have to think about it.
Fucking was just that. Fucking.
But with Avery, it was more than that. I couldn’t explain it. I had no idea why, but I did know that I wanted more than one night. More than a couple of nights. She made all the shit in my life fade.
I didn’t want her to feel like some kind of booty call.
If I hadn’t met her the night I got out, there’d be a good chance I’d have already been arrested again for violating the restraining order against me. When you have nothing to lose, it’s easy to fuck up again.
I had something to lose now.
And I was going to do everything in my damned control not to screw up again.
“Since you’re the one insisting we eat, you’re going to help,” Avery said.
Her face glowed and a lazy smile curled her lips up. She looked well and truly satisfied, with her hair drying in crazy waves. The caveman in me wanted to beat his chest and throw her over my shoulder to run out and show the world this girl was all mine.
I slid my arm around her and pulled her against my chest. She had on her shirt and shorts again, but I would bet my ass she still didn’t have on anything underneath. “You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” I kissed her nose, then turned her around. “So what the hell are we making?” I asked as we walked into the kitchen together.
Avery moved to the refrigerator and I leaned against the island. The kitchen was open and bright, a soft yellow paint blended with the white cabinets and made the whole place feel like the outdoors.
“Eggplant parmesan.” She held up a weird purple globe.
“Is that actually edible?” I asked.
“This is an eggplant. And I’ve got bread crumbs, eggs, spices, marinara, and two kinds of cheese. Trust me, you’ll love it.”
She must have noticed the incredulous look on my face, because she chuckled.
Avery handed me a knife and the eggplant. “Cut it into about half-inch slices.”
Five minutes later, I had a pile of unevenly sliced eggplant in front of me. “Yeah, so now might be a good time to tell you I flunked out of cooking school. My knife skills weren’t quite up to par.”
Avery choked back a laugh. “I can’t imagine why. They are perfectly asymmetrical. Evenly sliced eggplant is so overrated and boring.”
“Right.” I played along. “I tried to tell my instructor I was going for a signature flair. Boldness. No one wants boring eggplant, I told him.”
“Well, I think you were on to something.” She took my pile of slices and laid them on a layer of paper towels. Then she sprinkled salt all over them and put another layer of towels on top. Then she set the cutting board on top of it all.
I watched, waiting for her to drench herself in goat’s blood and dance around in a circle.
“What the hell is that for?”
“It draws the water out so that it’s not all soggy when you bread and fry it.”
“I’m going to pretend what you just said makes perfect sense.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. She looked up at me, so relaxed and happy it took my breath away. “No one has ever cooked for me before. Tell me something else. Something cookery. It’s fucking sexy as hell.”
“You are insane.” She laughed and hit my arm.
“No, really, tell me something else.” I nuzzled my mouth under her ear, on that sweet spot that made her knees weak. “Something hot.”
“Mmm, okay. Next we’re going to dredge those perfectly sliced eggplant pieces in flour, then in an eggwash, and then in bread crumbs. Then, we get the oil hot . . .”
I slid my tongue along the outside of her ear, and her whole body shuddered. “How hot, baby?”
She groaned. A low rumble that vibrated against my lips.
“Hot enough so that the eggplant cooks until it’s crispy and brown, then we put it in a baking dish and cover it with marinara and cheese. Then bake it in a three-hundred-and-fifty-degree oven for a half . . . oh, God . . . Seth, you’re driving me insane.”
She pressed back against me, her pulse racing frantically in her neck.
With one last kiss on her sweet spot, I gently set her away from me. “So let’s get on with this dredging shit.”
“You’re evil, do you know that?” Avery leaned against the island and used a pot holder to fan her face. “Of course you do. Because. You. Are. Evil.” She threw the pot holder at me and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.
After half of it was gone, she took the jar of sauce and handed it to me. “Make use of all those manly muscles and open this.”
I flexed my biceps as I reached for it. “These muscles? Right here? You like to look at ’em, baby? Oh, yeah?” The lid popped open when I twisted it, and I gave it back to her, flexing some more in triumph.
Avery hadn’t stopped giggling.
I grinned. Shit. This was fun.
Who knew fixing dinner could be this entertaining? Or such a turn-on. We worked side by side, dredging, frying, and assembling until a delicious smell filled the kitchen. Avery had a glass of white wine and I was half through the beer she’d given me when the timer rang.
“Okay, this needs to sit for about fifteen minutes, and then it’ll be ready.”
I helped her set the table, a little bistro number next to the window. “Are these your best company dishes?” I joked. We were eating off Betty Boop plates.
“Shari has a thing for her. We saw these at a flea market and she had to have them.”
“Well, yeah. Even for a cartoon, she’s fucking hot. Admit it, you’d do her. Oh, man, there’s a visual.” I closed my eyes and moaned.
Avery laughed again.
Then her face turned pensive. “I haven’t laughed so much in . . . well, ages. Thank you.”
“For what?” My eyes were open now.
“I’m having a really good time tonight. For the first time in my life, I don’t have any pressure to be the person everyone expects me to be. I can do what I want, when I want”—she looked at me from under her eyelashes—“and with who I want. So thank you for being here and for making me laugh.”
God, she was really killing me.
Her eyes were glassy when I pulled her into my arms again. Crazy. Unrealistic. Too soon. I knew it, but it didn’t change the feelings bubbling inside me. I didn’t want to leave her side, and I looked forward to seeing her again when we were apart.
I cradled her jaw, ran my thumb over her lips, and leaned close, close enough to feel her hot breath against my lips.
“Dessert now?” she asked breathlessly.
There was nothing I wanted to do more than take her back into the bedroom, but I had to come clean with her first, lay it all out on the table so she knew exactly what she was getting into. Because if she let me inside her and then ran away, I’m not sure I could take it. “First we need to talk.” Her eyes went wary, so I leaned in and kissed her softly. “If we’re going to do this right, there are a few things you need to know about me. Things I want to tell you.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Avery
I followed Seth to the couch, and when he sat, I slid down next to him.
Before I could ask what we needed to talk about, he reached back and pulled his shirt over his head.
“If this is your idea of talking, I think you should know I want to talk your brains out right now.”
I stared at his shoulders, where thick black lines twined together and cascaded over onto his collarbone. Smaller lines spiraled down over his left pec, and when I traced them with my finger, I could make out an S in the middle of the design. I ran my fingertip over the letter. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to get his own initial tattooed on his body.
It must be for a girl.
And it was right over his heart.
Shit. Is this what he needed to tell me about?
My finger stopped moving, and I swallowed the tangle of emotions making it hard to take a breath. Pain thudded dully in my chest. I didn’t have any right to be jealous, but it was there.
Seth shifted next to me and leaned back into the corner of the couch. He pulled me with him so that I lay against his chest, settled between his legs. When he brushed his fingers through my hair, I closed my eyes and relaxed into him.
“I probably should have told you before anything happened between us, but I won’t apologize for earlier.” His voice rumbled under my ear. He nudged my head until I looked up at him.
My pulse thundered in my ears. His gaze was so serious. Was this where he told me he had a girlfriend? Or that S was the love of his life? I steeled myself and whispered yes. Despite how it felt, I wanted to know.
Seth closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them again. I saw the pain immediately. It was raw and bright.
“My dad took off when I was eight. He was a drunk and, honestly, we didn’t miss him at all. He wasn’t what you’d call involved much anyway. My mom met Davis when I was ten. He seemed decent enough. Clean. Didn’t look like some scumbag off the street. Looks don’t mean a lot, though. Took about six months for her to change. She was paler. Thin. Her eyes were always either too bright or dull. I knew what drugs looked like, I just didn’t know she was getting them from Davis. That son of a bitch got her hooked, then used her to distribute and sell it. When I was thirteen, she overdosed and died.”
I gasped and buried my face in his neck. I had no words of comfort to offer. I could only be there.
His fingers slid into my hair and held me against his body. I felt him trembling under me.
“I have a sister. Sara is four years younger than me. After my mom died, I sort of checked out. I dropped out of school. Raised a lot of hell. Would have gotten into a lot more trouble if Ryan hadn’t had my back. By the time I pulled my head out of my ass, I noticed that Sara was looking a lot like our mother had. I started paying attention to what was going on, and finally she admitted that she was using. I wanted to kill Davis. He was her fucking guardian and he was using her just like he did our mother. I was determined to get her out of that house. Instead, he made up some bullshit story about me being violent, and DFCS had me removed. A few months after that, I went to see Sara, and Davis was there, making a deal with some sleazeball. My sister in exchange for heroin. The worst part was that Sara was right there, high as hell and begging the guy to fuck her.”
Seth’s heart thundered under my ear. His body tightened with barely restrained fury.
“I lost it. I grabbed Davis and started pounding the shit out of him. By the time Ryan pulled me off, the cops were there and Sara was hysterical and they cuffed me and dragged me to jail. The bastard pressed charges. My sister sided with him. I got two years but served one. Now I can’t get within five hundred feet of either of them. My sister is across town, still being used by that waste of humanity, and I can’t do shit about it. I should have just killed him. Then he couldn’t hurt her anymore.”
His other arm came around me, and he held me so tight I could barely breathe. I didn’t care. I wanted to take away the pain inside him, but there was nothing I could do. I had no way of making him hurt less. What happened was beyond comprehension. How could someone like Seth’s stepfather get away with all that for so long?
How could the state fail a girl in that kind of situation? Wasn’t that why child protection agencies existed? To protect innocent kids?
I was going to talk to my father.
He might be a hard-ass, but he was also the best attorney on the East Coast. He’d know what to do. To make sense of all this. I wasn’t going to tell Seth that, though. He didn’t need me butting in.
And nothing I said would make him feel better anyway. He was hurting. So hard and so deep that it was amazing he didn’t drown in it. But I needed him to know that it didn’t make me care any less. If anything, my feelings for him were stronger now.
“You’re the strongest person I know,” I said. I talked against his neck because he still held me in a viselike grip. “After all that, you still keep your eyes open. You move forward. I can’t even begin to know what you went through, or what you’re still going through, but for someone with so much pain in his life, you are an incredibly giving and honest man. I admire that.”
He groaned and dropped his head so that his lips were against my ear. “I don’t know how you see all that. I’m a fucked-up mess.”
I scrambled from his arms so that I could raise up and look into his eyes. “I know I don’t know you very well, that’s true, but I know one thing, Seth, you are not a bad person.” I cradled his face between my hands and kissed him softly. “We’re all messed up in our own ways. What matters is how you choose to fix things.”
Darkness flashed across his face. “That’s just it, Avery, I don’t know how to fix this. Everyone keeps telling me I have to do it the right way, but what happens if that doesn’t work? My mother died because of what Davis did to her. If I lose Sara . . .” His entire body shook under mine. He looked so lost, so vulnerable. “I can’t lose her too. I would gladly spend the rest of my life in prison than see her get hurt again.”
The conviction in his voice scared me. I kissed him again. Then once more. “Please promise me you won’t do anything that will jeopardize your own future. I will do whatever I can to help you figure this all out, I promise you that. Just . . . know that you are worth someone fighting for you too. You fight for Sara and I’ll fight for you. Okay?”
I don’t know where the words came from, but they were true. This beautiful, broken man deserved someone in his corner. I wanted to be that someone.
His gaze snapped up, and he searched my eyes for something. His pulse quickened where my fingers touched his neck. He took a ragged breath in, then kissed me, slow and deep and tender.
“You make me feel fucking invincible, do you know that? No one has ever done that before.” He held me close, taking long, slow breaths.
“You make me feel real. Alive. No one has ever done that for me.” I closed my eyes and relaxed against him. The logical part of my brain tried to sort through everything he said, and what I’d said, to find a reason for this insane connection I felt.
I was practical, and whenever I saw or read about love at first sight it just made me laugh. It wasn’t possible. No one could fall in love instantly. And I wasn’t in love with Seth yet. I knew that.
But I also knew that it would be very easy to go there.
He was such a good person. Just because I hadn’t known him for long didn’t mean I couldn’t see that. If there was any way I could ease the pain in his eyes, that I could help him figure everything out,
I would do it.
And after tonight?
I didn’t know if I could walk away, even if I had to.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Seth
I expected Avery to kick me out after I told her about Sara.
Not only did she let me stay, she wrapped her arms around me and everything didn’t feel quite so hopeless.
I brushed my hands over her hair and kissed the top of her head.
She’d been lying in my arms for the last half hour, her breath fanning across my neck. It was torture, but I didn’t want to wake her. Hell, I’d lie like this for days if it meant I could keep her from leaving my arms.
She shifted, and a soft moan brushed across my skin. My dick’s reaction was immediate. Her T-shirt rode up and half her ass was bared. I couldn’t stop myself.
I ran my fingers over the soft curve, easing the edge of the shirt up a little higher. Goose bumps broke out over her skin.
“Take me to bed,” she murmured against my chest. Then her lips were there, burning-hot kisses branding every place she touched.
I groaned and wrapped my arms around her.
Already my muscles were tight with tension. This time would be better. Slower. I made the promise to myself as I lifted her off me and stood. She lay on her back on the couch, her sleepy eyes watching me.
Her hair stuck out from her braid and her cheeks were flushed.
“You look so fucking sexy right now,” I said.
A smile curled her lips up. There were no games behind her eyes. Only desire. I reached out and took her hand.
“I want you back in bed, Ave.”
Her smile turned almost shy as she stood and let me lead her into the bedroom. Hell, the edges of nervousness made my hands shake just a little. There was a deeper connection now that I’d told her about Sara. She knew my dark secret. The reason I’d been behind bars. And she was still here, her hand in mine.
The trust Avery had in me, whether she knew she’d given it to me or not, made me feel fucking invincible. And scared as hell. I knew better than anyone how fast things could all go to shit.
