She splashed water on her hands and patted down her hair, then applied some gel to smooth down the flyaways and get it into a ponytail. She washed her face, which only made the pimple uglier and pinker. Makeup.
“Good morning.”
She jumped and placed a hand on her chest. “Hey, didn’t we talk about you knockin’ on a bathroom door?”
“Sorry, I heard the water running.” Joe smiled at her in the mirror. “Didn’t we talk about you lockin’ bathroom doors?”
She didn’t know what to do with him. Last night, they’d talked some more, a lot more, and by then it was too late to send him to Marty’s guesthouse. Besides which, if she did that, the whole town would be gossiping about who Joe was and what he was doing here. That Lily did not need. So the only choice was to bring him to her house, and they sat up talking until they couldn’t keep their eyes open. She’d put him in her mother’s old bedroom, and now here he was.
“So, you gonna head back?”
He stared at her and shook his head. “I plan on hidin’ out here until I figure out how to get you outta my mind.”
She pressed her lips together. “I have to be at work in half an hour. What’re you gonna do all day here?”
“Then I’ll come with you, hang out at the diner.”
“And the whole town will be gossipin’ about me. I have to live here, you know.”
“I don’t want to go. Not yet, anyway.”
She stared at the stubborn jut of his chin in the mirror and realized he was truly serious. She turned and slammed right into him, spilling his coffee onto his hands. He’d apparently found her coffeemaker. She grabbed a towel, “Oh no, are you hurt?”
He smiled and shook it off, stepping out and setting the coffee cup on her nightstand. She suddenly realized that he was in her room. Her very messy room that she hadn’t bothered to clean up. There were clothes everywhere, and her dresser was a disaster. What must he think of me?
He seemed not to notice or care. He sat on her unmade bed and pinned her with his gaze.
What had she done? Last night, it seemed like the natural thing to do, invite him to stay, but in the cold light of day, it was all too much. She had a gorgeous man sitting on her bed, a man who was totally unavailable and for whom her heart fluttered like a schizophrenic bird. It was time to start being sensible.
“I have to be at work in thirty minutes. I need you to leave, please.” She sounded surprisingly convincing. He gave her a puppy-dog face that almost had her begging him to stay, but she held her ground. The more time she spent with him, the bigger the heartbreak would be. He wasn’t just an attractive guy, he was a good guy. They’d talked last night about their parents, about their lives. They shared their souls with each other. She had to remember it as a nice dream. It wasn’t forever. It couldn’t be.
“Lily…”
“I need you to go, Joe. This isn’t right.”
He stared at her a beat and she crossed her arms. He stood and left. She exhaled, locked the door behind him, went to the mirror, and brought out her makeup kit. She didn’t normally wear any on account of her sensitive skin, but surely this was a special occasion. One swipe of mascara on her lashes, a dab of color to her cheeks and lips, and she smiled at the transformation in the mirror. The pimple would just have to stay. If she dabbed it with concealer, it would just flare up more, and he’d already seen it.
When she came down the stairs, he was nowhere in sight. She opened the door to see his car gone from the driveway. She blinked against the tears in her eyes.
It was never real. He’d come to her a lost boy. There was never going to be anything between them. It was good that he left, before she became the talk of the town, or worse. She had enough problems without adding another.
Becky wasn’t at the diner when Lily got there. Nor would she be now that she was a salaried manager. She showed up a few hours a day to boss everyone around, then left. The breakfast rush was well underway. Once breakfast had cleared and they’d set up for the lunch crowd, Lily remembered she’d promised to go see Mrs. Cregg. She and her husband, Mr. Cregg, owned the grocery store in town. Mrs. Cregg had always been kind to Lily and her mom, often extending them credit when things got bad.
She chatted for a while with Mrs. Cregg, who wanted Lily’s help in sewing a dress for her niece who was getting married. Lily promised to help her finish the tiny beadwork that Mrs. Cregg complained was too tiring for her hands.
She’d just come through the door at the diner when she stopped. There he was. Fresh T-shirt but same jeans, same broad grin on his face.
“Lily, come here. Did you ever meet Joe at Bridgette’s party?” Lily turned to see Norma Jean, and relief flooded through her. If Joe had come to see her alone, it would’ve been a disaster. She extended her hand, and he took it, filling her with a warm, gooey feeling, like the center of a molten lava cake. “Nice to meet you, Lily. Thought I saw you at the party. Mom mentioned you, so I asked Norma Jean how you were doing.”
Smooth. She nodded dumbly.
“Well, don’t just stand there. I’ve been waiting for you to order,” Norma Jean cut in.
Lily straightened. Joe ordered a burger with fries and a shake, never taking his eyes off her, making her face hot. She turned away as soon as she could, but while Lily’s back was turned, she got the distinct impression that Joe was staring at her. She took her time with the order, but she couldn’t avoid Norma Jean, especially not when the diner was empty.
“Lily, come sit here. I was just askin’ Joe if he has some young, eligible friends for you.”
She smiled tightly at Joe. “Emphasis on the word eligible.”
Norma Jean frowned but continued. “Perhaps I’ll bring Lily to your weddin’ as my plus one.” She winked at Joe, and he shifted in his seat.
Norma Jean, oblivious to his discomfort, or hers, continued on. “Y’ know, your mama is so looking forward to this. Now don’t take too long settin’ a date. She said she wasn’t gonna get her chemo started until after. That vain woman, she doesn’t wanna be bald in all your photos.”
Lily watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. She met his gaze. Yeah, Joe, reality bites. Norma Jean went on, but Lily had long ago stopped listening to her. She wanted a magic bullet for Joe, something to ease his pain. But she wasn’t the girl to help him.
People finally started strolling in for lunch, and Norma Jean got distracted with introducing Joe. Lily melted into the background, a place where she was comfortable being. They waved good-bye when they left. By then, Joe could hardly meet her eyes, and she tried to ignore the knots twisting in her stomach. She didn’t know him. It was a good thing he was leaving. And yet she got the distinct impression he was taking a piece of her soul with him.
Becky tried to rope her into closing again at night, but she flat-out refused. She was spent, physically and emotionally.
The sun was still high as she made her way home. She loved the summer. Long days and sunshine that made the flowers in her garden bloom. She wasn’t working tomorrow, so she had a day to search for another job. Mrs. Cregg had suggested she could work as a seamstress somewhere.
She wasn’t surprised to see Joe’s car in her driveway. He wasn’t going to leave without saying a proper good-bye, and ripping yet another piece of her heart and taking it with him.
“Lily…”
“Joe, you’re lookin’ for an excuse not to keep a promise, even a halfhearted one. Go do what you have to do. Don’t play with me.”
He staggered back as if she’d slapped him. “It’s not like that…”
She rolled her eyes. She was exhausted and done living in a fantasy world. If he spent one more night in her house, she’d never find happiness. She could see her future clearly written. She’d look for Joe in every man she met, and they’d always fall short. Meanwhile, he’d marry Carrie, have three beautiful children, and live happily ever after.
“You’re gonna break my heart, Joe, and I can’t take it.”
He closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. “God, Lily, if I’d never met you, I would’ve been okay marryin’ Carrie, but I can’t. The way I feel about you, it’s the way it was meant to be.”
She stared into his shining eyes, full of hope and promise. Her knees threatened to buckle under her, but his strong arms were around her, holding her up, for just a second taking the weight of the world off her shoulders. She lifted her face, wanting to feel his lips on hers, to know for sure there was love in his heart. He brought his mouth down on hers, his touch gentle, tentative. On her tiptoes, she brought them closer, her arms around his neck, pulling him toward her. She deepened the kiss, wanting to be as close to him as she could get. He moaned, then every muscle in his body tightened as he pulled her close against him, kissing her with an abandon that matched her own. In that moment, she could see into his soul, feel the once-in-a-lifetime love in his heart, and she knew she’d never be the same again.
He wouldn’t let her go, even as she tried to pull back. He held her close, kissing her mouth, her head, her cheeks, even the pimple on her chin that had acquired a zip code on her face. She stepped away from him, tears welling in her eyes. He gazed at her with such longing that every cell in her body ached for him.
She shook her head, telling him silently what she couldn’t bring herself to say with words. You’re gonna leave me.
He grabbed her hands. “Come with me to meet my mama.”
She shook her head and closed her eyes, squeezing out the tears that were stinging her. “You need to face this on your own, Joe. I can’t… I won’t be the reason why you don’t marry that girl. You gotta fess up to it on your own. When you find the courage to do that, I’ll be here, waitin’ on you.”
She opened her eyes to see him look at her with such agony that she almost went to him. To tell him she’d do anything he wanted, but she wouldn’t. If his love was true, he’d come back to her, and if he did, he would be all hers.
CHAPTER FIVE
IT after breakfast when Joe arrived home. He’d driven through the night, his internal angst keeping him awake as he put miles between him and Lily. He had gone to Hell’s Bells thinking he’d get her out of his system. Instead, he’d found his soul mate, the woman he knew without a doubt he was meant to be with. The night they’d stayed up talking, he’d poured his heart out. She’d put her hand on his chest and in an instant soothed the pain he’d been carrying for years. The death of his father, the best buddy he’d lost in Iraq, the woman he’d accidently killed during a raid; all of it was a never-ending horror movie in his mind. Except when he was with Lily.
He was at peace with Lily. She made him see things as beautiful. It was the first time he’d felt something other than a deep, gnawing ache in his heart, like something was eating him from the inside out.
He made his way to the kitchen, which was blissfully empty. They were down to a skeleton staff, just a housemaid and gardener. When he was a kid, there was never a private moment. A nanny followed him around, a housekeeper minded the house, a whole team cooked in the kitchen, watchful that the precocious little boy didn’t steal too many cookies out of the jar. He opened the jar now. There were no cookies.
He opened the refrigerator and found the makings of a sandwich. His stomach was burning from all the coffee he’d consumed.
“Joe, there you are.”
He turned to see his mother just as he slapped his sandwich together. “Where did you run off to? I needed your help cleaning up after the party.”
He stopped mid-bite. His mother normally hired a cleaning crew after her annual summer party, but of course she hadn’t done that this time. “Sorry, Mom. Tell me what needs doing, and I’ll get on it.” He’d been so consumed with thoughts of Lily that he hadn’t considered what was going on in the household.
She nodded as she sat down with a weary sigh. He eyed his mother. She looked the same, and yet she didn’t. Her hair was still a golden blond, perfectly styled so it fell in waves around her face. His earliest memories were of her in her bedroom, watching her brush her hair as she finished dressing in the morning. She would dangle two different scarves and ask him to choose one for her to wear. He’d get so excited to see her wear his choice. Even if she had nowhere to go, she always dressed first thing in the morning. It was his private time with her before the nanny came to get him dressed for school.
Her forehead was now etched with worry lines, her smile not as bright, her ramrod-straight back slightly slouched as if she were carrying a heavy weight. “I don’t understand why you had the party to begin with, Mom.”
“Because it’s tradition.”
“But with all our financial troubles…”
“This house has stood for generations. I will not have vultures sniffing out the china like at the Wilkes estate. I’ve thrown this party for twenty years. If I hadn’t, it would’ve been like taking out an ad in the Times.”
He sighed. After the stock market crash several years ago, many of the estates in the area had fallen. The household belongings, furniture, paintings, the china and silver, even people’s clothes were auctioned off. His mother had refused to attend any of the auctions, raging about the indignity of the families. The one that hit her the hardest was the Wilkes, the family her sister had married into. The sister who had died from breast cancer, and whose jewelry and wedding clothes had been sold to the highest bidder for a few dollars.
“Mom, when are you starting the chemo?”
She looked at him evenly. “After your wedding. By the way, Carrie came by asking for you and was mighty upset you hadn’t told her where you went. I covered, saying it was army business.”
“Mom…”
“You have to marry her. Her grandmother’s trust fund will pay the overdue mortgage. We make her part owner of the estate, and she’s willing to pay off your daddy’s debts.”
“You’re gonna lose the estate one way or another. We can sell it, move into a smaller place. I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
She stood. “We’ve had this conversation already. We’re not selling the estate that’s been in my family for generations. Your great-granddaddy was born here. You want to sell off our family heritage?” Her eyes were pure ice. “You’re not the first man who’s had to sacrifice for this family.”
“Did Daddy sacrifice? Did he marry you for your wealth?” he asked softly. He’d never paid much attention to his parents’ marriage. They always seemed content, he never heard them fighting, but he also hadn’t sensed much affection between them.
She stared at him, then slowly shook her head. “Your daddy and I loved each other. He came from a middle-class family. My father was so mad that your daddy brought nothing into the family. At the time, we had enough so I didn’t care. But over time, the differences in how we had grown up and how we continued living created distance between us.”
She stared past him, outside the window. “I know you young people think these things are old-fashioned, but it makes a difference.”
“Would you have married someone you didn’t love if circumstances were different?”
“Carrie’s a nice girl. You’ve loved her all your life.”
He shook his head. “I love someone else.”
That got her attention. Her eyes held a mix of despair and disbelief. “Joe…”
“It’s real.”
She sank back in her chair. “It’s a horrible thing to ask…”
He knelt in front of her, clasping her hands. “Think this through. Your generation was a different time. People stayed married no matter what. I marry Carrie and she’s gonna know my heart belongs to someone else. She’ll be miserable and divorce me. Then she gets the third of the estate you’re already giving her, and half of mine. We’re gonna lose it anyway.”
It was the argument he’d practiced over and over in his head. His mother was a practical woman. Surely she’d see there was no way out. But she shook her head. “She’s not stupid. She told me she could see you were pull
ing away. She’s a good Christian girl and doesn’t believe in divorce. She’ll bring you around. Once you’re married, she’ll make you love her.”
That was Carrie, all right. It was her perseverance that had always drawn him to her. She never quit.
“I’m not starting the chemo till your weddin’,” she said firmly and stood.
“Mom, don’t you want me to be happy?”
She gazed down at him where he still knelt on the floor. Her eyes softened, and she sat back on the chair, then cupped his face. “Darlin’, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. You’re young. You haven’t seen what it’s like to live without money. I don’t want that life for you. I want your children, my grandchildren, to have the status we’ve enjoyed all our lives.”
“It’s not the same world now. Things don’t revolve around family name and wealth.”
She shook her head. “Nothing’s changed, son. You think I only live on my high horse. I have regular friends. Take your Aunt Norma Jean and that pathetic girl she brought to the party.” He froze at the mention of Lily, wondering whether Carrie had said something to his mother. He didn’t want his mom prejudiced before she even met Lily.
“People like her, every day they worry about how they’re gonna make enough to put food on the table. They work their bodies to the bone to make ends meet. How’re you gonna be happy living that life?”
Because I’ll have love. How did he explain it to his mother? To tell her that if he hadn’t met Lily, he might have been content marrying Carrie but he couldn’t now knowing he could never love her the way he loved Lily.
“If your daddy were here, he’d make you understand.”
And with that, she stood and left, leaving him to stare down a future that brought a familiar pain back into his heart.
THEREwere no seamstress jobs to be had in the little town of Hell’s Bells. Lily scoured the Internet for jobs within a thirty-minute drive. She could go work at the megastore outside town, but with gas prices as they were, she’d have to take double shifts to make it worthwhile. Or she could move out of town. There was nothing keeping her here except the house. The house where her father had been born, and that he had explicitly left to her mother. The only proof he left of the legitimacy of their relationship She could sell it and start over in a town where they didn’t know her, where she would have a fresh start. Maybe she could go to Washington, DC, where there were jobs, or Richmond.
Then Comes Love: Welcome to Bellhaven Page 3
