Time disappeared. She forced herself to meet the cat’s unblinking gaze. Golden eyes seemed to hold her own. Faith was struck by the strange feeling that other than its size, this hunting cat was no more dangerous to her than the orange tabby she had been forced to leave behind in Kansas.
The feeling was strengthened when the cat yawned, presenting her with its pointed teeth. Lowering its head to rest on the crossed paws, the eyes seemed to close but gave the impression that they watched everything.
With a great deal of caution Faith sat up, and when no sound, no move was made by the cat, she slowly rose and stood. Backing away, her eyes never leaving the cat, Faith put distance between them before she turned to run.
Drawn for one more look, she did. The cat was gone.
The turn of the sun had already cast its late-afternoon shadows when Delaney returned. Robert was the first one to see him ride in from the mouth of the valley. He had been angry to find Delaney gone without a word to anyone, anger that grew to impotent rage when he saw the soft glow in his older daughter’s eyes. He knew Faith had been with him.
He stole furtive glances at Delaney, envying him the ease of riding his mare like he was an extension of the horse, envying Delaney his freedom. Shaking his head, he finished cleaning the last of the mule’s hooves, then tucked the hooked pick into his pocket. He had enough to worry about without envying the man that was the source of his new and very deep concern.
Had Faith, in her foolishness, made Delaney privy to their secret? That soft glow in her eyes had triggered memories of her mother looking much the same when Robert first married her.
The knowledge forced him to realize again that his Faith was a woman, married and widowed. She had a right to marry again, likely would. He knew that, but on some level he couldn’t begin to name or fully understand, he hated the thought that Delaney was the man she chose.
There was fear mixed in with his anger. Delaney was not a man that Robert could ask his intentions toward Faith.
He was certainly not a man Robert could question in any way. So he was left to watch Delaney approach the wagon, then lean down to speak to Keith, forced to stand helpless while Delaney rode Mirage toward the pond.
Did he know about them? The question burned in Robert’s mind. And if he did, what would a man like Delaney, a man who owned a horse and his guns and little else, do with the information Faith may have given him?
Robert stood, staring after Delaney’s retreating figure, knowing that in this territory fifty dollars could buy a man’s death. The five-hundred-dollar reward posted on them would be a fortune to someone like Delaney Carmichael.
He became aware again of the solitude of the valley. He was sure he could find the way out without Delaney. If this was a hidden place that few men knew about, and Delaney was left behind, they would be free of him and their secret safe.
A moving shadow forced Robert to lift his gaze. There on the far rim sat two mounted Apache. His shoulders sagged in defeat. There would be no leaving Delaney behind. He would have to take his chances and deal with Delaney in his own way, in his own time.
His thought was echoed by Delaney as he walked Mirage toward the pond. Becket’s looks made him realize that he would have to deal with the man, about Faith and Keith, and Becket’s need to use a gun to solve his problems. If be was allowed to keep on with no one taking Becket to account for his actions, he could lose his life and cost his children theirs.
The sight of Faith standing with her back toward him chased thoughts about Becket from his mind. Slanting shafts of sunlight filtered through the cottonwood leaves wove gold strands into her honey-brown hair. It was loosely tied back with a ribbon, and he remembered its scent and feel against his skin. He slid down from Mirage’s back, dropping the reins, and started to walk toward Faith.
“It’s Delaney!” Pris shouted from where she stood in the pond. Splashing water she yelled again. “He’s come back, Faith!”
She spun around, dropping the linen she held, her eyes riveted to his. They faced each other tensely for long moments, then Faith dragged in a slow breath and released it. His eyes were shadowed by the forward slant of his hat brim, but Faith saw the flexing of the smooth muscles in his cheek. The commanding life-force of him, so resolutely masculine, urged her toward him. She wondered at her own weakness.
“I knew you would come back, Del,” she whispered, stopping in front of him. Her gaze followed his to where two wilted daisies were inserted into the buttonhole above her breasts.
“I hoped they pleased you,” Delaney said softly, wanting to sweep her into his arms, aware that Pris had come out of the water and was watching them.
Faith had no such worry. She took the two steps that separated them and rested her cheek against the smooth leather vest he wore, inhaling the dust, the scent of leather, and a faint musky smell that held an irresistible appeal for her.
“No questions, Faith?”
“You’ll only tell me what you want to anyway.” She rubbed her cheek against him, longing to feel his arms around her, longing to know what he was thinking, feeling, and yes, she admitted to herself, what had driven him to leave her.
Cupping her chin with one hand, Delaney lifted her face to his. The stunning depths of her turquoise eyes hid nothing from him. Love waited for him, all he had to do was claim it. His thumb brushed the slight swell of her bottom lip, and he had to close his eyes, fighting not to remember the wild, sweet abandon of their lovemaking.
“You tempt me to turn my back on all I know, all I must do, Faith.”
The regret was in his voice, but when he opened his eyes, she saw what he could not hide for a brief moment. A hope there would be a way.
“I don’t understand all that makes you the man you are, Delaney. But I have never thought of myself as a woman who would trap a man by any means she could. I won’t lie to you or to myself. You know that I love you,” she whispered, watching the color of his eyes deepen, taking it as a sign that he was withdrawing from her. “If you don’t want my love, then go. Is that what you want? To hear me say it? I can’t hold a man like you. No one can.”
Lifting her hand, she touched his chest and found the shape of the skystone beneath his shirt. “Seanilzay told me that when you were given this stone, you made promises and received others in return. You need to keep your word before you can have what this will bring you.”
“And still you ask for nothing from me?” Her touch sent heat sizzling like lightning through him. He wanted to press her hand and hold it there, but Faith moved away from him.
“What I want from you, Delaney, is not a thing to be asked for. It is a gift, freely given, with nothing expected in return.” She started to walk toward where Pris stood, water dripping from her pantelets, silently staring at them.
“Faith,” Delaney called softly, “I do have something to give you. Freedom, in a way. If I’m right,” he added, walking to her side when she stopped but didn’t turn. “I want to take Joey with me to see someone that might help him.”
“No one can, Delaney,” she said more harshly than she had intended. “I should tell you the truth about Joey’s blindness. After last n-night…” Her voice faltered, and she stopped for a moment. Looking away from Pris and the pond, closing off the sight of Delaney bathing there, Faith gazed at the light shades of pink and rose that colored the creviced granite walls rising from the valley. But she couldn’t hide or close off the need to give this last secret to Delaney after she had trusted him with all else.
He wanted to stop her from telling him what he already knew had to be the truth. Keith would not lie to him. Yet, there was a need, a selfish need, which came from some deep last comer of resistance that refused to believe Faith was a woman totally without lies. Even as he admitted this to himself, he cursed another woman who had taught him that love came wrapped in betrayal and lies. Faith was not Elise. He knew it in every corner of his heart. And could only blame the nearness of home that stirred
memories he had once believed buried.
Faith began to speak then, refusing to look at him as she told him what happened in detail the night that her husband was killed and she helpless to prevent it. He did not touch her, didn’t say a word to stop her when she stammered out a picture of Joey, struggling with the weight of the shotgun, shooting the man whose rope had her sprawled in the dust between the cattlemen’s horses.
“…Joey fired a second time and wounded a man who later died. I never understood why they rode off and didn’t kill us. But that is what happened, and I was grateful they had spared our lives. And Joey, well, he refused to talk about it.” Faith wrapped her arms around her waist, wanting to tell him the rest. “There is a five-hundred-dollar reward for me as a murderer. That is the reason we came here and why I can’t use my married name.” The last was a mere whisper. She was braced for his rejection.
“That explains why your father was in a hurry and willing to camp out each night.” She barely moved her head, agreeing with his statement. Her total honesty filled him with guilt that he had doubted her. Coming up behind her, Delaney cupped her shoulders and drew her to lean against his chest. “Let me try to help your brother, Faith,” he whispered against her hair. “Take this as a gift from my heart and the only one I can offer to you now. Will you give me Joey?”
“Is that all you want from me?”
Her voice tore into him, a blend of defeat, sadness, regret, and other dark emotions. They lashed at him, memory echoing her voice filled with a passionate declaration of love, her sweet teasing laughter, the soft whisper of her joy. Ruthlessly he buried them and silently answered her question: Give me every smile, every tear, all of your fears, and all of your joys.
He tightened his grip on her to keep her from turning around to look at him. He couldn’t bear to see the love she had for him in her eyes, knowing that it would weaken his resolve.
“I guess your silence is an answer, Delaney. What do you want to do with my brother?” She pulled away from him.
Delaney let her go. He sighed deeply, aching to hold her, to kiss her, realizing that if he touched her again, he wouldn’t let her go at all. He turned aside. “I want to take Joey to a shaman.”
“Shaman?” she repeated. “Is he an Apache doctor?”
“In a way.” He lost his own small battle and gazed at her, reaching out to brush his hand against her cheek, but she jerked her head back. Delaney’s hand fell to his side. “A shaman is a medicine man, but there isn’t just one. Some have a power to heal and others do not. There are those who claim they can read omens, and others who can bring rain. It’s hard to explain to you how their beliefs and life-way are entwined. And,” he found himself admitting, “some things are not my right to tell you.”
“Total trust, Delaney? That’s what you are asking of me.”
“Yes. Will you trust me with Joey?”
Faith knew her answer before he finished speaking. “Take him. I’ll tell my father.”
“No. I don’t need to hide behind your skirts.”
Her smile was sad. Shaking her head, she said, “I never thought that you would. I need to do this for me, not you, Delaney. It’s time I stopped running.” She gathered her courage and added, “Maybe the day isn’t far off when you’ll do the same.”
Her words cut him to the quick. He had no defense, because she was right. He had been running.
Faith’s smile faded.
“When I get back with Joey, we’ll leave for Tombstone.”
“Fine. I’ll make sure we’re ready.”
“Faith,” he said as she moved away, stopping her. “I want you to know that no harm will come to Joey. This man, this shaman I want to take him to, has a gift for healing and intense spirituality. Some call him the Dreamer of Dreams. I just know that if there is anything to be done to help Joey see, I must take him with me.”
Her searching gaze studied him for long minutes. “Is that where you were the night you disappeared into the desert? Were you with a shaman who could heal you?” She wanted to ask him more, she wanted his trust, she needed to know what had happened that night.
He turned away from the intensity of her look. “You ask what I cannot tell you.”
“No, Delaney, you’re wrong. I have my answer. Stay with Pris, I’ll get Joey.”
Delaney knew he had never wanted Faith as much as he did at that moment. Wanted her with thoughts of all the days to come, wanted her beside him, wanted her to rid him of the loneliness that made him ache.
But he wanted revenge with an equal force. And revenge won, tipping the scale with the knowledge that the past could rise and come between them unless it was buried.
He waited, and watched Pris swim, knowing that Faith was right about needing to confront her father.
Robert was too shocked to be angry when Faith told him about Joey. She did not yell, but fury vibrated in her voice.
“You’ve punished us all long enough, Pa. If there’s a chance for Joey to see, you’ll stand aside. I never wanted to run, to lie and feel hunted and guilty. But I listened to you. No more.”
“Joey is my son, Faith—”
“…and I’m your daughter. Refuse me this, and I’ll leave you.”
“For the likes of Carmichael?” he asked, his eyes filled with scorn.
“No, Pa,” she answered in a gentle tone that was nonetheless firm. “Not for anyone but myself. I can’t live like this. I can’t live with you if you’re going to fill our days with your bitterness. If you can’t put aside your feelings for the chance to help your son, then you’re not a man I want to claim as my father. Delaney won’t let anything happen to Joey.”
“He’s a killer, Faith,” he reminded her, unwilling to admit that she had shaken him.
“So are you!” she snapped, going to the back of the wagon to lift Joey down. “You heard it all, didn’t you, Joey?”
“Pa’s real mad.”
“I’ll talk to him, Joey. Do you want to go with Delaney? I know you were angry with him for letting Beula go.”
“But he told me why. I miss her, but I didn’t want to see her dead. Maybe someone nice found her.”
“Maybe.”
She saw that Delaney was coming toward them, carrying Pris wrapped in a blanket. Mirage followed at his heels.
“Del?” Joey said, turning to him as he neared.
“Right here, scout. You coming with me?”
“Yes,” Joey answered, extending his hand.
“We’ll leave for Tombstone tomorrow, Faith.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she said, watching them ride off.
Chapter 18
The night blanketed the land, and a full moon rose to embrace the earth as the air grew still.
Delaney lit the fire he had built. “It is time,” he said to Joey, rising from where he had sat at the boy’s side. “You do all that I told you, and remember there is nothing to be afraid of no matter what happens. I’ll be close by even if I don’t speak to you.”
“I’ll remember,” Joey answered, drawing closer to the fire that was beginning to share its warmth with him. He held the small amount of sacred pollen that Delaney had given him in one hand, and in the other, a lightning-struck twig. He knew when Delaney moved away from him but sensed he had not gone far. At his side, Joey knew where each of his gifts were placed and recounted to himself the order that he must present them. First the bag of smoking tobacco, then a black-handled knife, a black silk handkerchief, and last a soft deerskin. With his acute hearing he listened to the rustle of cloth as if someone had joined them and was settling himself on the ground across the fire from where he sat.
Joey felt a flutter in his stomach and knew he was afraid. He thought of each of the steps that Delaney had patiently explained to him and hoped that he would not fail and make Delaney ashamed.
“Listen and feel, little one,” a deep voice intoned. “Beneath you is the earth. If you are always good to her, she
will let you feel her heart beating. Lift your head high, and you will hear the wind who whispers into the minds of men of all it touches. Open your mind and your heart, and become one with them, a child of the land.
“Let them take your fears and your secrets. The earth will bury them for you, for men know of no measure to hold her. Give your fears and secrets to the wind, and it will be as your brother and carry them far, far from you. Trust what your heart speaks to you. You will never hear lies.”
Joey tried not to grip the pollen and twig that he held, struggling to understand what was wanted from him. A long silence followed before he smelled a scented smoke from the fire.
“Come to me, little one.”
Every move that Joey made spoke of his hesitation and fear. Within his dark world he held trust as the dearest of his possessions. He didn’t know when Delaney spoke to him that he would not easily give over that trust to a stranger.
He stood up and felt the warmth of the fire slightly in front of him and to his right. Its heat was his guide. The first step was the hardest for him to take. He didn’t know what waited for him. Joey had to fight the need to call out and hear Delaney answer him. He remembered Delaney’s promise and knew he would not lie. It gave him the courage he needed to make his way around the fire. Sensing another’s presence, he stopped and waited.
Firm hands on his shoulders made him tense. He wanted to run. But the hands only guided him to step to the right. Joey took his bearing from the fire again, it was directly behind him now. He knew he was breathing too fast, but now he was excited by what he must do.
“In the name of all children, in the name of Yusen, in the name of White Painted Woman and in the name of Child of the Water, I ask you to help me.”
He was proud that he spoke each word without the trembling that he felt inside himself. Kneeling down, he used his left hand still holding the twig to find the toe of the moccasin. There was temptation to examine the shape of the soft hide, but he didn’t give in to it. He opened his right hand and, with one finger of his left hand, dipped it into the pollen.
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