She was remarkable and to say she was making the most of an impossible situation would be an understatement. But the truth of the matter was she wanted her life back, she deserved it back and he’d been unable to give it to her. He’d never felt so helpless or so useless in his life.
Shifting the Jeep into gear, he pulled out of the parking lot, swearing under his breath. So who was he really going to Utah for—for her, or himself? Did he honestly think he was going to find something or was he looking for justification, looking for another excuse to stay out of the house and away from her?
He’d tried to tell himself that he needed his space, that the woman had invaded his life and he was feeling hemmed in and trapped, but that was just an excuse. The brutal truth was he liked having her in his house, cooking his meals and accompanying him to work. He liked having someone to talk to, someone to worry about him, someone to comfort. He liked that she’d taken an interest in his horses, in his friends and in his life.
He pulled onto the highway, pushing the accelerator to the floor. That was just it, that was the problem, that was why he had to stay away—he liked it too much.
“What’s this?”
“Your paycheck.”
Rain glanced down at the envelope in her hand and felt her heart do a trip in her chest. “My paycheck?”
Joe nodded, stepping away from her desk. “I had the county registrar draft it in cash, even though she was able to get a temporary Social Security number issued for you.”
Rain gingerly opened the envelope, looking at the bills inside. “You mean all this? It’s mine?”
“Sure,” Ryan said as he walked to the water cooler and poured himself a drink. “What did you think? We were going to charge you for the pleasure of working you long hours?”
Rain looked up, turning to Joe. “But I can’t take this.”
Joe stopped. “What do you mean you can’t take it?”
“It’s…it’s too much. You’ve already done too much.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he scoffed. “You earned it. It’s your money. Just take it.”
She glanced down at the envelope again. It had never occurred to her she’d be paid for the job she was doing. She’d just been grateful to have something to do, that she had some way of paying Joe back for having taken her in, for having clothed and fed her. Although lately, she’d begun to think that maybe the best way she could thank him for all his kindness would be to get out of his life.
The past few weeks had been difficult. Joe was barely speaking to her and when he did, he seemed short and surly. She couldn’t deny that his impatience hadn’t hurt, but she really couldn’t blame him.
When he’d invited her to stay at the ranch, they both had understood that it was to be a temporary arrangement. After all, she had a life out there somewhere and through therapy and healing, one day she would have it back. She just hadn’t realized it would take so long. She also hadn’t realized how much she would come to love Joe Mountain’s ranch and the life she had there.
But week after week had passed and she was no closer now to knowing who she was or what had happened to her than she’d been on that first morning she’d awakened in the hospital. Her world might have started a short month ago, but his hadn’t and it was obvious from the way he’d been acting the last couple of weeks that he was losing patience with her lack of progress.
He had an entire life filled with a ranch and a career, and she wasn’t a part of it. She was a visitor to his world—a guest who had outstayed her welcome.
“Thank you,” she murmured, slipping the money into the pocket of one of Karen Mountain’s hand-me-down sweaters.
“I’ll take you over to the bank later if you’d like,” he said, the kindness of the offer dampened by the impatient tone of his voice. “Not good to carry around that much cash. You could open up an account if you like.”
“Uh, thanks, but that’s not necessary,” she said. “No need for you to bother. I can take care of that myself.”
“Whatever,” he said with a shrug. “It’s your money.”
The look of surprise on his face when she’d refused his offer had been subtle, but it had been there and she couldn’t help feeling just a little pleased. Maybe she had been too dependent on him and maybe it was time she started getting out and doing a few things on her own.
She had learned a lot about Joe Mountain and his world since she’d gone to live in his house, but she had also learned a lot about herself. Not only had she discovered she knew how to cook, she’d also learned she was computer literate, well versed in classic literature and music and had a distinct talent for crossword puzzles. Maybe now it was time to see if she had an independent streak, as well.
“Open for business?”
Rain turned to the door just as an attractive woman stepped into the office.
“We’re always open for Superior Court Judges,” Joe said, quickly rounding the desk. “Especially those who have been carrying on the county’s business at a different venue.”
“How’s the trial going, Judge?” Ryan asked with a teasing smile. “Juries up in Carson City a little friendlier than they are around here?”
“Juries are juries,” she said, giving Ryan a wave. She turned to Joe, giving him a hug. “I’m just glad to be home.”
“Glad to have you back, Your Honor,” Joe said, gazing down at her. “Stopping by to see if we’ve arrested anyone lately?”
There was no denying the affection in his eyes when he looked at the woman and Rain felt sick to her stomach. She wished she could just shrivel up and disappear.
The woman was striking in a cream-colored silk suit that draped her tall, slender frame with perfection. The rich leather briefcase and handbag she carried looked classy and professional, making Rain feel all the more dowdy in her borrowed clothes.
“Actually, Sheriff, I didn’t come to see you.”
“No? I’m wounded.”
“Good thing you’re not under oath,” she said dryly, giving him a playful push aside. “Or I’m afraid a charge of perjury might be in order. Actually I came by to meet your friend.” She turned and started toward the desk. “I want to meet Rain.”
For a moment Rain thought she hadn’t heard right. “Me?”
“Absolutely,” the woman said, extending a hand across the desk. “Hello, Rain, I’m Marcy Martinez.”
“Actually, she is the Honorable Marcy Martinez,” Joe corrected as Rain gingerly took the Judge’s hand. “Marcy’s married to Cruz.”
“You’re…” Rain’s voice cracked and faded and she had to clear her throat before she could speak again. “You’re married to Dr. Martinez?”
Marcy nodded. “And I have to apologize for not coming by earlier. I was there at the hospital the night Joe brought you in, but I’ve been out of town since then. But I’m back now, and I wanted to come by and maybe see if we could get together for lunch sometime.”
“Lunch?”
“Yeah, what do you say?”
Rain felt a little overwhelmed right now. After all, the woman was beautiful and seeing her in Joe Mountain’s arms had been a little unnerving. But there was something about Marcy Martinez that was so genuine, so engaging, it was hard to resist. Besides, aside from Carrie in the hospital and Sal at the diner, there were no women in her life. Marcy Martinez was extending a hand of friendship and Rain found herself wanting very much to accept.
“I—I’d love to,” she stammered.
“I’d make her pay, Judge,” Ryan added. “She just got her first paycheck.”
Marcy’s eyes opened wide. “Really?”
Rain’s hand went to the envelope of money in her sweater pocket. “I did.”
Marcy thought for a moment, then leaned close. “You know, I was thinking of heading up to Reno. They’re having a big sale at the mall there. Feel like playing hooky?”
Chapter 9
“Why Rain?”
“I’m not sure,” Rain admitted. “Carrie said Joe had called m
e that when he’d brought me into the hospital. It just stuck.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Marcy said. “And it’s better than Jane Doe.”
Jane Doe. Rain turned the name over in her brain. It felt cold and unfamiliar. She’d never felt that way about the name Joe had given to her. Despite the wet element it described, as a name it had felt warm, felt right to her. She didn’t know what name she’d answered to before, but in the weeks she’d lived in Mesa Ridge, she’d become Rain.
“Much better,” she agreed.
Marcy’s expression turned thoughtful. “I can only imagine how difficult it’s been for you. I don’t know what I’d do if I woke up and…and there was nothing there.”
Rain thought back to that awful moment in the desert when there had just been the rain and the cold and the fear. “It was terrifying at first,” she admitted. “Actually, there are times when it’s terrifying even now. But everyone has been so kind. Your husband is a wonderful doctor, by the way, and I’m happy with my sessions with Dr. McGhan.”
Marcy smiled. “So you’re feeling hopeful then?”
“Hopeful,” she conceded. “But I can’t let myself think about it too much. I get so…so discouraged sometimes, too. I know the doctors tell me not to try to force it, but it’s so frustrating. I mean, isn’t there someone out there wondering about me? Doesn’t someone want to know where I am or what happened to me? Did I have no one in my life? Isn’t there someone worried about me?” She stopped and shook her head. “Sometimes I just want to—” her hands balled into fists “—sometimes I just want to scream.”
Marcy reached across the table, giving her arm a pat. “This really is difficult for you, isn’t it? More difficult than you let on.”
Rain put her head down, feeling the sting of tears burn her eyes. “Everyone has been so wonderful to me. I feel so awkward…so ungrateful…I don’t mean to complain….”
“Wanting your life back isn’t complaining,” Marcy assured her, giving her arm squeeze. “I think if things seem awkward at times, it’s only because people don’t know what to say. It’s so sad, your whole life has just been taken away.”
“Erased, like chalk off a blackboard,” Rain said. She sat up suddenly. She was almost becoming accustomed to those unexpected rushes of familiarity—almost.
“What is it?”
She thought for a moment, then looked at Marcy. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Just every once in a while I get this feeling, like I almost remember, but—” she gave her head a shake “—it goes away. Dr. McGhan says it’s normal.” She shook her head again. “I think it feels anything but normal.”
Marcy reached for her coffee cup, taking a sip. “Well, I think it’s wonderful how you’re keeping yourself busy, working at the sheriff’s office. I’m impressed.”
“I’m grateful to have something to do, something to take my mind off myself. I’d go crazy if I didn’t have somewhere to go every morning.” She shifted in the seat. “Besides, it’s the least I can do. The sheriff has been very generous, giving me a place to stay and all.” She felt her throat tighten up. He had been kind and she hated to think how she’d overstayed her welcome. “But we’ve talked enough about me. You’re a judge. I find that so interesting.”
“I’m a superior court judge,” Marcy corrected playfully, popping a piece of cheesecake into her mouth. “In the judge business, that’s important. You get to boss everyone around and tell people what to do and they pay you for it. Is that great or what?”
Rain laughed, letting her fork drop to her place and leaning back in her chair. She’d had the most remarkable day. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever had a girlfriend before, if she’d ever spent a day shopping and having lunch and talking and sharing the biggest, richest, most fattening piece of cheesecake with a girlfriend before, but she had today. Marcy Fitzgerald Martinez was wonderful and their day of shopping had been more than just an outing, more than two friends getting together; it had been a bonding.
“Well, if I don’t stop eating,” she groaned, pushing herself back from the table, “I’m not going to be able to get into those new clothes I just bought.”
“I swear, I don’t know where you put it,” Marcy commented, surveying the empty plates in front of Rain. “You eat like a truck driver but you’re just a little bit of a thing.” She reached for her coffee cup. “I think I hate you.”
“I do have a healthy appetite.”
Marcy turned and surveyed the stack of packages piled up on the booth beside them. “All in all, I’d say you did all right today, considering this is your first time out.”
Rain thought of all the beautiful clothes she’d bought and smiled. She couldn’t wait to try them on again, and for Joe to see her in something other than his ex-wife’s wardrobe.
“First time. Does that mean we can to do this again?”
“Sure,” Marcy said with a grin. “How about next payday?” They both laughed again. “But seriously,” Marcy added as their laughter faded. “I think you really made the most of those sales. At least you’ve got enough things there to get you out of Karen Mountain’s hand-me-downs.”
Rain glanced down at the pink sweater, its harsh color all the more garish in the bright lights of the restaurant. “They are pretty awful, aren’t they?” She looked back up at Marcy. “Did you know her?”
“Karen?” Marcy shook her head. “No. Actually Annie and I only moved to Mesa Ridge two years ago—when Cruz and I got married. Karen was long gone before that. Cruz had met her, though.”
“Really?” Rain did her best to make her voice sound casual. “Did he ever say what she was like?”
“Not really. He just said she never seemed like a very happy person.”
“She lived on that beautiful ranch, had that terrific house,” Rain mused. She glanced up at Marcy and shrugged. “You’d think she would have been on top of the world.”
“You’d think, but ranch life in an place like Mesa Ridge isn’t for everyone,” Marcy pointed out. “It probably wasn’t her cup of tea. And besides, from what Cruz has told me about their breakup, I’d say maybe things worked out for the best.” She leaned close, her voice lowering. “I don’t even know the woman but judging from what I’ve seen of her wardrobe, I’d say all her taste was in her mouth anyway.”
Rain laughed, but she was too distracted to find any true humor. Her mind was racing with so many questions, so many things she wanted to know. Still, she understood there was always a risk in asking questions, that she ran the risk of getting an answer she didn’t like. But Marcy had peaked her curiosity talking about Karen Mountain and she couldn’t help but be curious about the woman who Joe had made his wife, the woman he never mentioned, never spoke about.
“Were they married long, do you know?”
“Karen and Joe?” Marcy thought for a moment. “I don’t think so, a year or so. From what I understand, things fell apart pretty fast once Karen lost the baby.”
Rain felt the hair tingle on the back of her neck and the breath seemed to stall in her lungs. “There…there was a baby?”
Marcy nodded. “Karen had gone into premature labor. By the time she got to the hospital, there were other complications and she’d miscarried.” Marcy sipped at her coffee. “Apparently they were together for only a few months after that.”
“How awful,” Rain sighed. No wonder he didn’t want to talk about her; how painful the memories must be.
“I don’t think it was a very amicable divorce, either,” Marcy continued. “I really don’t know any of the specifics, but from what Cruz has said, Joe took it pretty hard.”
“I can imagine,” Rain murmured. “To lose your child and then your wife. That would be hard for anyone.”
“And Joe keeps things pretty close to the chest,” Marcy added. “But then, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. He doesn’t let many people get close.”
Rain nodded, suddenly finding it a little difficult to swallow. He’d made it pretty clear he didn�
�t want her too close, either.
“It was really wonderful of him to take me in, give me a place to stay, a job,” she said, the words feeling tight in her throat. “I’m not sure what I would have done if…” She grabbed the napkin from her lap and tossed it on to the table. “Well, I’m really grateful to him for all he’s done but I think it’s time I start looking for a place of my own.”
Marcy’s eyes widened. “You don’t like it out there on the ranch?”
“Oh, I love it,” Rain contended.
“Then why leave? It’s a big house. Joe just rattles around in that place by himself.”
Rain glanced down, reaching for a spoon on the table and absently tapping it against the crumpled napkin. “It’s just…I have no idea how long…well, if I’ll ever…” She looked up and gave her head a small shake. “I could go on like this for a long time, not knowing what happened to me, not knowing where I belong, where I live, who I am. I can’t expect to stay with Joe—I mean, Sheriff Mountain—indefinitely. He’s been wonderful, but he’s got a life of his own and I feel a little like I’m in the way. I don’t want to overstay my welcome and I can’t keep leaning on him, depending on him forever.”
Marcy regarded her for a long moment—so long, in fact, that Rain began to feel uncomfortable under her scrutiny.
“You want my honest opinion?”
“Of—of course,” Rain said, wondering now if she did.
“I think you’re the best thing that happened to Joe Mountain in years.”
The spoon slipped from her fingers, landing with the clank against the wood tabletop. “What?”
“I mean it,” she insisted. “Joe Mountain needs to get involved in life again. He’s a wonderful man, but he’s resisted any involvements for as long as I’ve known him. All he does is work and take care of those horses of his—and occasionally go fishing with my husband. There’s more to life than that.”
“But that is his life,” Rain pointed out. “The life he wants.”
Rain Dance Page 12
