by B. Love
Hali stood, refusing to believe what she was hearing. Had she described him?
“Soren…”
“He has a vision for his life. He’s living it, but your influence could take him to the next level. Lucas needs a woman outside of Luana to support and uplift him. It doesn’t mean as much coming from her as it would his wife because he feels like Luana, as his sister, is obligated to rock with him.”
“Soren… I may have described Lucas physically, but that’s not… it doesn’t mean anything. He’s a very attractive man. But that’s… I don’t want him. Not anymore.”
“You sure about that?” Soren’s head tilted and she crossed her arms over her chest. This was definitely Lucas’ cousin, “Do you not want him… or do you not want to want him?”
Hali walked over to Soren’s desktop computer and sat down.
“What difference does it make?” she grumbled, sitting her notebook next to the keyboard.
“It makes a hell of a difference!” Soren whispered loudly, “If you want him I’m not going to waste another man’s time and interest. We can go straight to Lucas.”
“No,” Hali palmed her face as her heart began to race. As her legs began to shake. The feel of Soren’s hand on her back only made her feel worse. Why wasn’t she over him yet?
“I’m sorry to push you so hard. I get it, Hali. He hurt you. But he’s back now and if you would just consider him as your most suitable match you’d see…”
“He’s not,” Hali argued, wiping her eyes before the tears could fall, “And I don’t even want him on your list of prospects. Lucas made his choice and it wasn’t me. He’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m not going through that again, Soren.”
“Fine,” Soren agreed, sighing and sitting next to Hali, “But I want you to know that I can’t guarantee a perfectly imperfect match if you don’t take my lead with this.”
Suddenly, Hali wasn’t as sure and confident of her choice to work with Soren anymore. Not because she didn’t trust Soren, but because she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to keep up her façade with Soren.
6
Lucas
“I don’t think it was made to be a hat, Luca,” Hali said softly, causing Lucas to smile.
Luca’s voice was filled with awe and surprise as he questioned through his broken English, “You don’t?”
Hali chuckled as she unlocked her door.
“No, silly. I don’t.”
She opened the door, giving Lucas the chance to see what they were having a discussion about. There was a bowl that Lucas was sure held cereal or something else for Luca to eat on top of his head. The sight of his son in the arms of the woman he genuinely wanted to be the mother of his children and wife…
“Hey,” Lucas spoke, voice thick with emotion.
He didn’t plan on dropping Luca off with Hali this morning, but when his realtor called and told him that an auction was taking place for a building that he thought Lucas would approve of for his first beauty supply store in Memphis he had to make that move. So two hours ago, Lucas found himself beating on Hali’s door and stuffing Luca into her arms with promises of returning as soon as he possibly could.
It didn’t register to him what seeing two of the people he loved most together would do to him, but as he stared on at them together…
“Hey, how did it go?” Hali asked, tone a lot calmer than it was this morning.
She all but… no… she did… yell at him the entire time he ran down the hall to the elevator. Now she was all smiles and relaxed. Holding his child like this wasn’t the first time she’d ever seen Luca. Why did that surprise Lucas? He knew she was good with children. That she was a magnet for them. He wouldn’t have left Luca with Hali if he felt they wouldn’t mesh well. So why was his heart feeling all… weird?
“Lucas?” Hali called, trying to put Luca on the floor, to which he switched between lifting his arms and crawling up her legs until she picked him up again.
Luca pulled the bowl from his head and handed it to Lucas.
“I was getting ready to fix lunch,” Hali stated, still getting no response from Lucas.
What the hell was going on with him? Why was the sight of them together fucking with his mental so much? He was literally frozen in place. Unable to say or do anything but allow his mind to register the beauty of a moment he never thought he would experience.
“Okay, you’re being weird,” Hali noticed, turning and leaving Lucas at the door.
It wasn’t until they were out of his sight that Lucas was able to snap out of his trance and step inside. He hadn’t been inside of Hali’s apartment in what felt like forever, but as soon as he started down the hall it felt… like home.
“Oh, Lucas?” she called from the kitchen, “Can you go and get a chair or something for him? I mean…” he found her looking around her kitchen with Luca standing at her side doing the same, “Unless you’re ready to take him with you. I was going to make me a grilled chicken salad and some soup for lunch, so I figured I’d make him some little nuggets.”
“Uh yea. Sure,” that was what he needed – a minute alone to get himself together, “You wanna come with me, Luca?” Luca shook his head and grabbed Hali’s leg, causing them both to laugh, “Damn, it’s like that?” he teased, getting a big smile from Luca as he nodded his head.
“Ooh those little teeth are going to be the death of me,” Hali acknowledged, looking down at Luca as he looked up at her.
Lucas left abruptly, feeling the need to give himself a mental pep talk. He had never been the type to not have anything to say. But here he was… consistently finding himself speechless. When he made it inside of his apartment he went straight into the kitchen and looked around for Luca’s chair that was blatantly sitting in his view. Lucas walked over to it and leaned his body against it.
He hung his head and took a few deep breaths to settle his mind and spirit. Forget what he thought in the past, there was nothing sexier to him than watching Hali interact with his child. Period. No matter how beautiful a moment it was, Lucas forced himself to shake the bulge that was growing in his pants and happiness that was building in his heart. They were only friends and would remain only friends.
Lucas took the chair back over to Hali’s apartment and placed Luca inside. As she fixed lunch they shared small talk. Small talk that Lucas couldn’t believe they were having. Just two days ago she said she wouldn’t give him any more than a polite hello in passing, now she was laughing and joking with him like she used to do.
Luca ended up falling asleep halfway into lunch and Lucas felt the right thing to do was leave. Just because he’d taken care of his most important task for the time being didn’t mean he had the right to take up time in her day. That didn’t keep Lucas from placing Luca on the couch and praying he could get just a few more minutes of Hali’s time. With the building he originally wanted being auctioned off, Lucas was now stuck with the task of finding another one on top of everything else he had to do on a daily basis. And he was pretty sure with Hali working from home that there was something important she should’ve been working on. But that didn’t keep Lucas from sitting back in his seat and asking, “So what have you been up to, Hali?”
Lucas couldn’t help but notice the change in Hali’s expression as she looked down at Luca. As if him being sleep was slowly putting whatever had her being nice to him asleep. She sat back in her seat as well and began to softly caress Luca’s leg as she answered.
“Nothing. Just… working. Actually, I should get to work. I have a deadline for a cover in a week,” Hali stood and headed to her kitchen mumbling, “I’ll get his bag for you together… no… together for you. Really, Hali? You can’t form complete sentences that make sense?” under her breath.
Lucas stood, feeling more and more like himself. He placed a pillow on the side of Luca, then went into the kitchen with Hali.
“You don’t have to run from me, Hali, or be scared of me,” Lucas assured her, w
atching her snatch Luca’s belongings from the table and place them in his bag, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
Hali chuckled quietly and shook her head.
“Well, you didn’t come here to love me, so what other option is there, Lucas?”
Why did he think this would be easy? That she would accept him and his friendship with open arms? He couldn’t blame Hali for having her guards up. For years, he brushed both of their feelings to the side, then he got another woman pregnant and married her. Hali had every right to not want to talk to him and be around him, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to talk to her and be around her.
Lucas took a step towards her, then stopped to avoid the desire to pull her into his arms. He had yet to feel the softness of her lips or warmth of her walls wrapped around him, and with the way his emotions were all out of whack today… he probably would’ve tried to show her better than he could tell her how he really felt about her.
How did he really feel about her?
Well, he was sure he loved her to a certain extent. He wanted what was best for her. He cared about her needs and desires. He was devoted to her and her well-being, even if that meant protecting her from the damage of being with him. Why couldn’t that be enough?
“I’m sorry, angel,” Lucas risked it all by walking over to her and standing so close that if she turned to face him their bodies would touch, “I never wanted to hurt you. You’re the last person on this earth I meant to hurt. But I thought I was doing what was best for you, Hali.”
“You don’t think I know what’s best for me?” she asked, voice raising in anger as she turned to face him.
Sure enough, her body brushed against his, and the flicker of lust that filled her eyes did not go unnoticed. Still, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, regaining her thoughts as she took a step to the side and out of his direct view, “If I didn’t think you were capable of giving me what I need I wouldn’t have wasted my love on you, Lucas. You might not be capable of seeing the good in you, but I do. I did. I always have.”
That was true. Hali was the one that supported and influenced him. She was the one that affirmed him and made him feel accepted and good about himself. She was the one that pushed for him to become the best version of himself. She fed him while Shanice took from him.
“Can you just go, Lucas? Please?”
Lucas looked over her beautifully saddened face, and felt like shit for tormenting her with his presence. It was easy for Lucas to camouflage his desire for Hali and the deep despair of loneliness being with Shanice had caused him when he was away from her, but every second of every day that he spent in the apartment next to hers he was plagued with desire to be close to her. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and make her accept his apology and the only way of loving her that he was capable of. He wanted to cling to her… cleave to her… drown her in his need of her.
But none of that was possible.
And that realization had his spirit sinking even lower. Anguish seared Lucas’ heart as Hali turned her back to him and continued to put Luca’s things in his bag.
“How can I make this right?” his voice faded, losing its normal calm and confidence.
“There’s nothing to make right,” Hali turned and handed him the bag, avoiding his eyes just as much as she avoided her feelings for him, “Please, respect my wishes, Lucas. I have no problem watching Luca whenever you need me to but that’s it. Nothing has changed between us.”
Hali gave him no time to agree. She left the kitchen and his sight… but it didn’t matter how much she ran from him; Hali Davison had been and would always be the only woman in Lucas’ vision.
7
Hali
Hali wasn’t sure of the proper protocol for rekindling an old friendship, so she showed up at Jaxon and Luana’s home with what she knew used to be the best way to put a smile on Luana’s face – ice cream. She rang the doorbell, then took a step back, inhaling deeply and mentally preparing for what was a long time coming. Hali never thought she could let a week let alone months pass by without talking to Luana, but that was a sad reminder of just how low she fell because of her feelings for Lucas.
The door unlocked, and Hali almost bubbled over with happiness at the sound of Luana squealing on the other side. The door opened, and before Hali could explain what she was doing there, Luana was pulling her into her arms and hugging her tightly.
“What took you so long?” Luana scolded, rocking her from side to side.
Hali was speechless for a few seconds, shaking her head at Luana’s greeting.
“I’m so sorry, Ana. I didn’t mean for it to be this long.”
“All that matters is you’re here now. Don’t leave me like that again, Hali!”
“I won’t,” Hali closed her eyes as they watered, “I promise.”
Hands linked, they walked into Luana’s new home, and the vibe… the warmth… the smells… it was all love. All peace. All happiness. All that everyone around Hali was experiencing. All that she was still unfamiliar with. Everyone around her was married and having children, and she couldn’t even find a man worth committing to.
Luana put the ice cream up, then they sat next to each other as close as they possibly could. Hali nudged Luana’s shoulder softly as she sang, “Sooo…” Luana giggled quietly and covered her glowing face, “Lil baby having a baby?”
Luana nodded, lowering her hands slowly.
“Yep. Lil baby having a baby. Can you believe it?”
“Of course I can! Jaxon is everything, Luana. He’s so good for you. I’m so happy for you, booboo. Congratulations!”
Hali hugged her from the side and kissed her cheek.
“Thank you. Lucas told you? Has he been acting right? I told him not to mess with you.”
Hali’s eyes rolled as she lowered her arm from Luana.
“Yea, right. Since when does Lucas listen to anything anyone tells him to do? OMG, Ana. Luca looks just like him. He literally looks like a miniature version of Lucas.”
“Ooh! I’m glad you mentioned that. I have something to show you.”
Luana stood and left the room, leaving Hali alone with her thoughts. She purposefully came around the time she had to leave to meet with Soren just in case things didn’t go as well as she hoped, now she hated the thought of leaving Luana so soon. They had so much to catch up on.
Like how Luana was enjoying the married life. And how she was adjusting to being the wife of Memphis’ most active Mayor. And how it felt to have such a light plate – working for herself and focusing solely on her man and school. There was of course, the little bun in her oven that was baking. Hali couldn’t wait to start spoiling the little one. But they wouldn’t have time to discuss any of that on this visit.
Luana returned with a picture that she stared at for a few seconds before handing it to Hali. She returned to her place next to Hali, but in that moment… everything around her disappeared. That picture was the culmination of her heart frozen in time. It was a picture of the three musketeers, Lucas, Luana and Hali. Although Hali was hugging Luana for her birthday, her eyes and attention were trained on Lucas.
He was standing behind Luana holding the cake he’d cut an extra yard over the weekend to purchase for her birthday, but his eyes were on Hali. They were smiling at each other, and to the unknowing eye their stares and smiles looked innocent. As if their smiles and happiness was because of the celebration of Luana’s birthday. Both those smiles were for each other.
After the picture was taken, Lucas made it a point to tell Hali how much he liked her hair in braids, and she wore it like that for the rest of the year.
“How cute were we?” Luana asked, pulling Hali out of her trance, “I was looking for pictures of me and Lucas as kids, and of course there aren’t many to choose from, but there’s a few. Found this one too. You should take it with you.”
“I can’t take this, Luana.”
“I insist,” Luana patted Hali’s hand before squeezing it gen
tly, “I would never ask you to settle for less than you deserve, and I feel so crazy for even asking this, but… do you think it’s possible for you to be his friend again?” Hali’s eyes rolled as she shook her head and stood, “He needs you, Hali. He didn’t realize how much until he lost you, but he needs you.”
“I have to go, Ana. I have to meet Soren for some kind of bae watch.”
Hali expected Luana’s features to fill with irritation but she smiled as she hummed, “Hmmm,” while standing.
“What’s that for?” Hali asked as Luana wrapped her arm around hers.
“Oh nothing.”
“Don’t lie, Luana. You only say hmmm when you’re thinking about something.”
Luana’s head shook adamantly as they walked to her door.
“Well, no… I… I… I’m not… I am thinking about something but it’s nothing,” Luana stammered.
As much as Hali wanted to question Luana she didn’t. The only time Luana held secrets was when it had to do with Lucas, and as far as Hali was concerned… she could keep those secrets.
“Fine. Wanna do something this weekend?”
“Absolutely. It’ll have to be Sunday, though. Me and Jaxon are going out of town Thursday and won’t be back until Saturday night.”
“Okay cool.”
The friends embraced, then Hali set off to her first bae watch with Soren. When Hali first hired Soren, she thought it would be like she saw on matchmaking shows. Soren would do all the work and all she would have to do was show up, go on dates and decide if she wanted to see someone again or not.
That was not the case.
Before Soren even set Hali up with a man she wanted to watch how Hali interacted with men. That was the point of her bae watches. As if Hali wasn’t already shy enough around men she didn’t know, it was going to be even harder conversing with them knowing Soren was watching her every move. It would be worth it, though, she tried to convince herself. Seeing Luana further confirmed Hali’s desires for her own family.
