by Croix, J. H.
By the end of the long afternoon and evening, when Susie drove him home, he wasn’t thinking straight. So he’d let his impulses get the best of him. Susie had been so damn tempting, he couldn’t resist the urge to lose himself in her heat and lush body. Oddly enough, the first few times he saw her afterwards were a little awkward, but he managed to play it cool and not dwell on it. But lately, his attraction to her had burrowed under his skin. He couldn’t shake it off. He grabbed his gym clothes and took off. If a run couldn’t turn his mind off, maybe lifting weights would.
Chapter 4
Susie glanced up from her computer when the door to her office opened. Jared stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Her heart started pounding. She forced herself to take a slow breath. Her reaction to him was getting ridiculous. Somehow she’d managed to get her feelings under control for a while after that kiss last year, but lately, she was losing the battle. Jared wore faded black jeans and a black t-shirt that fit his muscled build like a glove. His piercing green eyes met hers. She instantly felt pinned by his gaze. That annoyed her. She stood abruptly, needing to move to fling off the desire that thrummed through her anytime he was near.
“Hey there, I didn’t know you were stopping by. Did you need something?” Susie knew she sounded prickly and wished she didn’t. She was annoyed with herself for being so damn attracted to him that it had to come out somewhere. Because she sure as hell couldn’t act on how she felt. That was out of the question. Not to mention, she was pretty sure Jared wasn’t interested. Maybe he’d seemed interested that rainy night, but since then, he’d been cool and collected whenever he was near her.
Jared came to a stop by her desk and placed a manila envelop on her desk. “Thought I’d drop off our receipts from last month,” he said simply.
Nonplussed, she stared at the envelope for a long moment.
“That okay? I usually drop them off every month,” Jared finally said when Susie didn’t reply.
“Oh, right,” she finally said, fighting the blush she felt creeping up her neck and face. “Sorry. I was in the middle of working on some stuff and wasn’t too focused.” She fought to collect her thoughts. “Have you heard anything about Emma’s ex?” she asked, figuring this topic might be the cold water she needed to get her desire under control.
Emma’s abusive ex-husband had recently shown up in town after he’d gotten wind Emma was involved with someone else. Though Emma wasn’t ready to admit it, Trey was perfect for her—sexy, smart, an awesome single father and he adored her. Susie was doing her best to interfere and make sure Emma realized she and Trey were meant for each other while this mess with her ex was getting in the way and scaring her. Susie and the rest of Emma’s friends had been keeping an eye out for her ex. Along with everyone else, Susie was impatient for him to be located and arrested. Jared was one of the most plugged in, keeping tabs with his friend who was a local cop and keeping the rest of them in the loop. Of course, Jared just had to go and be about as nice as a man could get when it came to stuff like this. He was protective of friends and family and went out of his way to help without any hesitation.
Jared shook his head. “Trey’s about out of his mind. I just told him he could stop by here to meet me. He says Emma is insisting on staying away from him because she’s worried about Stuart. Could you maybe talk some sense into her? Trey’s pretty much a goner when it comes to her.”
Though Susie agreed with Jared on this and had made the same point to Emma, it rankled her that he would ask her to talk to Emma about it. “Look, let Emma figure this out on her own. She’s pretty freaked out about everything. I’m sure Trey means well, but it’s not like she’s staying alone. She’s been at Hannah and Luke’s place and knows she can stay with me anytime.”
Jared’s eyes sharpened. “All I’m saying is maybe she could cut Trey a break and try not to shut him out.”
Susie didn’t know why, but she wanted to argue. “And all I’m saying is let her figure this out her own way.”
When she’d stood up, she’d walked around to the side of her desk. She hadn’t noticed she was so close to him. Jared’s eyes caught hers. His green gaze was bright. His chest rose and fell in a deep breath. He leaned forward, his face coming within inches of hers. “Why the hell do you always have to argue with me?”
Having Jared this close to her set off flares of heat inside. Flustered and flushed, she tried to gain control of the situation and didn’t back down. “Why the hell do you always think you’re right?” she countered.
Her heart pounded, her pulse careened and that oh-so-inconvenient desire thundered to the fore. She started to say something when Jared’s lips came down on hers. What started hard and fast slowed when her mouth opened under his. The anger she felt morphed into a heated, intense passion that enveloped them. He traced her lips, searched inside her mouth. His tongue stroked deeply, tangling with hers. She strained toward him and gasped in his mouth when he slid his palm down her back to cup her bottom and tug her against his arousal. Heat swirled in her center, slick moisture built in her core. The sheer relief of finally giving in to what she wanted ruled her body. She forgot she was angry, forgot all the reasons why Jared was not a man she should allow this to happen with, and tumbled headlong into sensation.
Jared’s mouth left hers as he trailed heated kisses down her neck. His hand slid up to cup one of her breasts, her nipple pebbling against his palm through the thin blouse she wore. “Dear God, Susie,” he whispered, his voice raspy.
She was so desperate to feel his body against hers that she tore at his t-shirt. Jared suddenly tensed and froze. As he did, she heard footsteps approaching her office. She shoved away from Jared. He took several quick steps back, his eyes pinned to hers, his green gaze piercing right through her. She knew…just knew… her desperation was written all over her face. She wanted to run and hide. Her only saving grace was that Jared looked as rattled as she felt.
Trey stepped into her office, glancing between her and Jared quickly. For a split second, Trey looked curious, but he masked it quickly. She barely heard Trey’s greeting to Jared and had to force herself to focus. When Jared commented that he’d talked to Darren earlier, she jumped in. “You did? Please tell me he said he can do something about that asshole,” she demanded and then glanced to Trey. “By the way, I know we’ve met before, but I’m a friend of Emma’s. You should know that I’ll personally kick your ass if you hurt her.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wondered why she had to start there. She was so discombobulated with what just happened with Jared, she wasn’t thinking clearly.
Trey looked taken aback. Before Trey could reply, Jared cut in. “For God’s sake, Susie, lay off it. I told you, he’s a stand up guy. Not to mention, he knows I think of Emma as family. He’ll have me to answer to as well, but how about we not start off with a threat?”
Susie had to bite her lip not to reply to Jared. She knew she’d kind of jumped down Trey’s throat, but the last thing she needed was for Jared to get on her case about it. To make matters worse, Jared seemed to gather himself after snapping back at her, which pissed her off. She couldn’t even look at Jared right now and kept looking to Trey to keep her eyes anywhere else. The conversation continued and she somehow got through it. To keep her hands busy, she started pointlessly shuffling papers on her desk, trying to tamp down the seething she felt inside. Her anger with Jared swirled in the cauldron of desire she felt, both feeding into each other. Trey finally left.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Susie asked, letting loose with her anger. She strode up to Jared, her finger pointed at him. Jared took a step back, which satisfied her immensely.
“What are you talking about?” he asked in return.
“You. Jumping on my case for telling Trey he’d better be good to Emma.”
“You told him you’d kick his ass, which is ridiculous. Trey’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserve you treating him like some schmuck.”
Susie k
new Jared had a point. Even worse, she’d jumped on Trey because her frustration with Jared had nowhere else to go in the moment. As was the case with everything that had anything to do with Jared, her annoyance crept up a notch. She whirled away and stalked over to her desk again. “Fine. Whatever. Did you need something else before you go?”
She turned to face him again, lifting her chin and willing her eyes to be steady.
For a quick second, she saw uncertainly in Jared’s eyes, but he masked it quickly. He appeared to be considering his words. When he finally spoke, he said, “Nope. I know you’re pissed with me, but you should understand. You’re protective of your friends, and so am I. Difference is, I’m not as blunt as you, and I give people the benefit of the doubt.”
His words simultaneously infuriated her and made her wish she wasn’t so obvious. Get a grip, Susie. Don’t let him see how pissed off you are. That’ll only give him the upper hand. She held his gaze, hoping the unstable combination of anger, uncertainty, confusion and yearning she felt didn’t show. “I know,” she finally replied. “Will you call me if you hear anything?” She hated asking him, but if anyone would keep her up to date, it would be Jared. Emma would mean to, but she was so caught up in what was happening, she wouldn’t necessarily think to call.
Jared nodded brusquely. “Of course.” Without another word, he turned and left.
She collapsed into her desk chair and willed her heart to slow down. She was hot all over. She brushed her curls out of her face and stared blankly at her computer screen.
***
The following morning, Susie walked into the kitchen at her parents’ house to find her mother chopping a huge pile of fresh basil. Her parents’ dog, Dante, slept in the center of the kitchen floor. Dante was a large, shaggy brown dog who looked to have some German Shepherd in him, but it was anyone’s guess. He stood to greet Susie and then promptly settled back on the floor with a sigh.
Her mother, Faye, looked up with a warm smile. “Hello dear. I’d give you a hug, but I’m right in the middle of this,” she said, gesturing with her chopping knife.
“I can see that. What are you doing with all that basil?”
“Making pesto. We’ll have some fresh, and I’ll freeze the rest. This looks like a lot, but once it’s chopped, it seems like hardly anything,” Faye replied.
Susie had inherited her brown curls, brown eyes, and curves from her mother. Faye’s curls were shot through with silver now, but just as wild as Susie’s were. She had also inherited her tendency to be bold from her mother, but she’d yet to develop her mother’s soft touch. Faye had a way of making blunt comments with a subtlety that Susie envied. Susie knew she often let her emotions get the best of her, as she had yesterday with Jared. She flushed.
“Where’s Dad?” Susie asked.
“He’s down at the hospital for yet another meeting about the budget,” Faye said with a sigh as she transferred chopped basil to a bowl.
“Oh he complains about it, but you know Dad would go bonkers if he wasn’t working at all.”
Faye had retired as a schoolteacher a few years back and now volunteered on various community projects, along with keeping busy with her gardening every summer. Susie’s father, Patrick, had been one of the main family doctors in town when she was growing up. He’d retired from practicing medicine, but he still worked part-time in the hospital administration.
Faye smiled softly. “That he would. I almost did myself. It’s good to keep busy.” Faye finished chopping the basil and quickly rinsed her hands in the sink. “Coffee?” she asked, glancing to Susie.
Susie nodded and went to sit at the small round table in the kitchen that overlooked Kachemak Bay. The view from her childhood home was so familiar she had it memorized. Yet she never tired of looking. Her parents’ home was further east than hers with a clear view of one of the glaciers across the bay. When she was a little girl, she thought the eerie blue glow of the glacier was magical. The glacier flowed between two mountains, its light a stark contrast to the dark green mountains. The wind was up today, the water choppy in the bay.
Faye set a cup of coffee in front of her and joined Susie at the table. “So what brings you over today?”
Susie shrugged. “I thought I’d just pop in and say hi.” What she didn’t say was that she felt out of sorts and didn’t know where to turn. This thing with Jared was driving her near to distraction. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to talk about him with her mother. Nor could she bring herself to talk about what really weighed on her, which was how the hell she’d ended up a virgin at her age and what to do about it. She’d never considered herself a prude, the opposite really. But somehow here she was, her mid-thirties looming in front of her and she knew if she got involved with anyone, they’d be surprised. She hadn’t meant to shut down after the almost date-rape incident in Anchorage. But she’d gone from a girl who loved to flirt, tease and have fun to one who generally avoided flirting and lived vicariously through her friends when it came to romance.
For a while, she’d convinced herself that would be okay. But now…this out-of-control attraction she felt for Jared was making her question herself. To make matters worse, she could hardly stand that it was Jared who was throwing her into this internal turmoil. If she wasn’t a virgin, she thought perhaps she could burn off this insane lust for him with one wild one-night stand. But the whole virginity thing made that idea a little more awkward than she could tolerate.
Faye tilted her head and eyed Susie speculatively. “You’ve got something on your mind,” she said matter-of-factly.
Susie sighed and took a sip of coffee. A raven called outside, another returning the call in quick succession. A burst of magpie chatter interrupted the ravens. Dante ambled over to the windows to investigate. Susie glanced out the window and back at her mother. “Would it break your heart if I stayed single forever?” she asked.
Faye gave her a sharp look. “It wouldn’t break my heart, but I’d be a little sad. I want you to be happy, and I’m not one who thinks the whole marriage thing is for everyone, but you were always a friendly sort and not exactly a loner. So I’ve worried that you haven’t even dated in the last few years. But if you’re happy on your own, then that’s all I want for you.”
Susie tugged on one of her curls, pulling it out and letting it bounce back. “I’m not unhappy. And it’s not exactly easy to find someone around here,” she said wryly. Desperate as she was to talk to someone about Jared and her inconvenient virginity, the thought of trying to have the conversation with her mother was a bit too much.
Faye shook her head. “Funny you say that when you’re busy setting up all your friends,” she said with a chuckle. Her gaze sobered. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Susie nodded quickly. She took a gulp of her coffee and looked out toward the bay, the icy glacier glittering under the bright sun. Tears pressed behind her eyelids. Because she wasn’t okay, she was out of sorts.
“I’m okay. It didn’t bother me when I turned thirty, but now I’m questioning everything. Maybe it’s an early mid-life crisis.”
Faye shrugged and smiled. Susie sensed her mother knew there was a bit more going on, but if there was one thing her mother knew, it was that Susie didn’t handle being pressured well. So she was pretty darn good at giving Susie space.
Susie shifted the conversation to gardening, a surefire topic to keep Faye occupied. A while later, she drove down the hill toward town, feeling a little better after seeing her mother.
Chapter 5
Susie swung her faded blue hatchback into the parking lot at her office and walked inside. She rented the small office smack in the middle of town. It was an old renovated one-bedroom house. She used what was once a living room and kitchen as the space for her desk and for meeting with clients. The single bedroom served as storage for filing and office supplies. The only other room was a tiny bathroom. She quickly checked her email and began working on monthly reports.
She was so focused th
at she jumped when her office door opened. Hannah strode in and promptly sat down in one of the armchairs across from Susie’s desk. Hannah was her oldest friend. They’d become fast friends in elementary school when Hannah’s family moved to town when she and Susie were six years old. For most of her life, Susie spoke to Hannah almost every day. The only break in this happened when Hannah was away at graduate school. Susie missed her like crazy and worried, but she’d never doubted Hannah would come home and their friendship would be just what it had always been. That’s what happened, except for the fact that Susie hadn’t gotten around to filling Hannah in on the almost date rape and the fact that Susie was an accidental virgin. It wasn’t like Susie had been keeping it from Hannah, it was just that so many other things were happening, it never came up. If Susie was honest with herself, she might have to admit she didn’t mind that there was always something else to talk about.
“How’s it going?” Hannah asked, brushing her long, dark hair away from her face. Hannah’s tall frame slouched elegantly in the chair. Her blue eyes flashed when she smiled.
“Fine. Just busy working on reports. What are you up to?”
“Going crazy worrying about this thing with Emma’s ex. Luke’s getting updates from Jared practically every hour for me. How the hell can it be that easy to hide in Diamond Creek?”
