by Croix, J. H.
Before an actual thought formed, she blurted out. “I say we try a one-night stand and see if that gets it out of our systems.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she couldn’t believe it, but she didn’t really want to take them back. She quickly rationalized he somehow wouldn’t notice she was a virgin. And what better way to lose her virginity—with a man who got her so hot and bothered it would be guaranteed amazing.
Jared’s eyes widened at her suggestion, and he was silent for a long moment. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“It’ll work,” she replied with far more confidence than she felt. She’d decided that now she’d started down this path, she’d brazen her way through it.
Jared eyed her skeptically. “You seem pretty confident. I’d like to say I agree, but I’m not so sure. And here’s the thing: you’re my friend, I respect you. I can’t treat you like a fling. Trust me, if I thought we could just go for it and have one fun night in the sheets, I’d be dragging you upstairs right now. But our kisses don’t seem to point in that direction.”
Susie flushed and realized her inexperience might show if she argued the point too much. And did he have to go and give her a vision of being tugged upstairs to his bed? She hadn’t even seen his bedroom and now she wanted to just get right to it. Instead, she nodded. “Right. Maybe not. In that case, I don’t know what to say. I mean, we can’t be ‘we.’ I would drive you insane and not in the good way.”
Jared was quiet for another long moment, which made her restless. She wanted him to agree quickly and then they’d decide to somehow ignore this raging lust between them. He met her eyes and she wanted to cry. He looked serious and like he actually cared. His shoulders rose and fell in a deep breath.
“Well, we seem to drive each other insane in the good way,” he said with a wry smile.
Susie burst out laughing. It was so ridiculous they were trying to rationally discuss what to do about the fact that they couldn’t stop kissing each other.
Jared chuckled and set his beer on the railing again before stepping to the grill. “How about we try to eat?”
She nodded, relieved to let the topic drop for now. Jared gave her a brief tour of his home, which was essentially a living room and kitchen area with a bathroom downstairs. He didn’t take her upstairs to the loft area, which must hold his bed, though Susie couldn’t see far enough beyond the railing to know. He got her set up in the kitchen where she prepped the salad while he went back onto the deck to grill salmon. The focus of something to do took her mind off the constant buzz of her attraction to Jared.
Somehow, they managed to behave like normal people for a little while. Susie thought maybe, just maybe, she’d gotten a handle on herself. Though it would have been lovely to eat on the deck, the mosquitos drove them inside. Somewhere between the salmon and her third glass of wine, she realized she was arguing with him over a spreadsheet. She’d handled the accounting for Jared and his brothers ever since they’d moved here, so she was quite accustomed to how precise Jared could be. In this case, he’d asked her if she could revise the reporting columns for expenses. She’d done exactly as he’d asked. But now, he wanted her to modify it again. Illuminating for her precisely why he drove her crazy—the not-good crazy. This is why they would never work.
She blew a curl out of her eyes. “Seriously? Again, Jared? I did exactly what you wanted. I even have the email trail to prove it.”
Jared slanted his eyes at her. “I didn’t say you didn’t do what I asked. I said I reconsidered how I wanted the data organized.”
“Oh. My. God. Do you do this to yourself too? Like rearrange how you organize the bathroom every other week?”
Jared glared at her. “You’re an accountant. You should understand how important it is to like how you’re looking at the numbers.”
Susie felt a swell of joy. Jared finally looked annoyed with her, and she reveled in it. This—his eyes narrowed, a telltale tick of his jaw muscle—was how she preferred Jared. She knew how to deal with this. It gave her something to focus on other than how much her body wanted him.
“Of course I know how important it is, but you go overboard. Way overboard.”
Jared looked away. After a long silence, he pushed his chair back. The scrape of the chair on the hardwood floor was loud in the quiet room. He silently gathered up their plates and carried them into the kitchen. “It’s your prerogative to say I go overboard, but if it bothers you that much to change the spreadsheet again, I’ll do it myself.”
He set the dishes in the sink and turned to look at her, his green eyes bright in the fading light. In a flash, the desire she’d convinced herself was in hand flared again. She stood quickly, carrying her now empty wine glass to the kitchen. “Whatever. You don’t have to do it. I will. It’s my job. I was just pointing out your tendency to be…I don’t know…too organized.”
She set her glass by the sink and took a step back.
“Too organized, huh?”
Susie looked up and realized she might have miscalculated Jared’s level of annoyance. His eyes were dark, his green gaze zeroed in on her, his intense, coiled energy coming off in waves. She took another step back, her hips bumping into the counter.
A heated silence wove around them. As he held her gaze for a moment, the air around them felt heavy—with unspoken and unexpressed want. His energy was potent. He shook his head. “Can’t help myself,” he said abruptly before closing the space between them in one quick stride.
His lips came against hers softly, but with such intensity it stole her breath. When she gasped against his lips, he pulled back a fraction. She opened her eyes to a haze of green. He searched her eyes for a breathless moment. Her pulse careened. She couldn’t look away. His eyes fell closed, hers following, as his lips met hers again. He traced the shape of her mouth with his tongue. She was helpless to stop her mouth from opening to his. She wanted this so much, she couldn’t stop.
Susie simply let go into the moment. She batted away the reflexive thought that she should stop this. Their tongues tangled while one of Jared’s hands slid down her back to cup her bottom and tug her close. He brushed her curls back with his other hand, tracing her ear and sending delicious shivers down her neck. Heat built inside of her rapidly, flushing her inside and out. His lips followed a path down her neck, dipping between her breasts. He shoved her blouse off her shoulders.
She couldn’t seem to get close enough. The feel of his body through the thin cotton of his t-shirt made her impatient. She slipped her hands underneath, sighing at the feel of his warm skin under her hands. His knee slid between her legs, the rough denim against the silk of her panties unbearably arousing. Her hips moved of their own accord, sharp spikes of pleasure arcing through her. She gasped when he rolled her nipple between his fingers.
His hand stilled. The haze that had overtaken her made it hard to focus, but she somehow opened her eyes. Meeting his merely ratcheted the heat inside—the intensity of his green gaze took her breath away.
He started to speak, but a mere rasp came out. He cleared his throat. “If we’re stopping, we need to stop now,” he said bluntly. He didn’t move away. She felt the heat of his erection cradled against her hips. Need coursed through her. The last thing she wanted to do was stop. She glanced down. His hand rested on her breast, his thumb idly stroking her nipple through her tank top. Her nipple was practically begging for more, pert and tight in its bid for attention.
She looked back up into his eyes—stark desire reflecting back at her. Though she knew it wasn’t sensible and probably completely insane, she simply didn’t care anymore She wanted Jared with a force she couldn’t deny. She shook her head.
Jared gave her a pained look. “Is that a no—we’re not stopping, or a no—we’re not doing this?”
“Not stopping,” she whispered, a flush washing across her face.
Holding her eyes, he cupped her cheek and slid his hand slowly down the side of her neck, his thumb brushing across her puls
e. He kissed her again, and she melted inside. She frantically pushed closer to him, tugging at his shirt. He pulled away and grabbed her hand.
“This way,” he said.
Next thing she knew, they were in the loft. Just beyond the railing that could be seen from below lay his bedroom and a bathroom to one side. Unsurprisingly, the room was sleek and modern looking with basic black furniture and brushed steel accents. There were gobs of pillows on the bed, which surprised her. He moved quickly, tugging his t-shirt off and tossing it on the floor. Susie scarcely had time to admire the view of his bare chest, muscled and fit with a dusting of dark hair, before he advanced on her. She’d come to a stop by the edge of the bed. Somehow, she found herself seated on the bed looking down at Jared’s black curls while he knelt in front of her, efficiently unbuckling the flimsy straps of her sandals and removing them. He paused to place a kiss on the inside of her knee, dallying with soft kisses to both of her legs for a moment, his warm palms sliding up her legs. Her fingers tangled in his curls. Moisture built in her core, and she felt herself spiraling. She experienced a flash of panic, that fear of being out of control, but before she could react, he’d pushed himself up and kissed her. Losing herself in his kiss, the panic receded.
Though she knew without a doubt her sheer burning want for him was a force to reckon with, she hadn’t considered the benefits of Jared’s relentless attention to detail and how such attention would drive her to a point of arousal beyond her control. He pressed her back into the lush pile of pillows on his bed and proceeded to lavish every inch of her—patiently and thoroughly. He traced her collarbone with his tongue while he slowly peeled her tank top off. With no hesitation, he flicked his fingers under the clasp holding her bra together. When the lace cups fell to the side, a small sound came from his throat. She managed to drag her eyes open to find his trained on her breasts. In slow motion, he leaned forward and set his thorough tongue to work, tracing circles around her nipples and softly nipping before his lips finally closed over one. She arched into his mouth, tangling her hand in his curls.
One of his hands slid down her abdomen, caressing its curve, coasting over the thin fabric of her skirt and sliding between her thighs to cup her mound. He didn’t push her skirt out of the way, just held his hand still and firm over her. Liquid pooled inside and feverish want built higher. She shifted restlessly against him. She wanted to feel him against her. He still wore his jeans, and it felt as if there was far too much between them. When she reached for his zipper, he stopped her.
“Not yet.”
A flash of anger rose. “Yes, yet,” she replied.
He silenced her with his mouth, finally rolling atop her, giving her just enough of what she craved to ease the ache. The feel of his chest against her breasts was intoxicating. He rocked his hips into hers, the feel of his hard cock against the ache between her legs overwhelming. She bucked against him. He muttered an imprecation against her lips and moved swiftly, shoving off of the bed and tugging his jeans off. His boxers followed in quick succession. Susie barely had a chance to appreciate the sight of him fully naked and aroused before he was tugging at her skirt. She lifted her hips and shimmied out of it, leaving her in nothing but the tiny scrap of black silk that passed for panties. For a moment, she felt far more vulnerable than she wanted when he paused to look at her, his eyes darkening as they traveled down her body. She wasn’t thin, nowhere near. She was curves and more curves. He knelt on the bed with one knee, his fingertips tracing her breasts and along the curve of her belly and hip.
He met her eyes for a long moment, and she prayed he couldn’t sense the flicker of apprehension. Oh she didn’t want to stop. They were too far in for that. And she wanted him with a ferocity that left her shaken. But she couldn’t quite forget she was about to lose the one thing she’d accidentally hung onto. She hoped again he wouldn’t notice. Before she could think too much, Jared shifted and began kissing his way up her body, starting at her ankles.
Passion flushed through her, her skin dampening in its sheen. His hands were everywhere at once, his lips making mischief all over her body. He paused when his lips coasted across her abdomen, quivers and shivers following every touch, and slowly pressed her knees apart, hooking a finger on the edge of her panties and dragging them off. She was dripping with need, almost incoherent, when he slid a finger inside her slick channel. She arched into him, the pressure inside building. Another finger followed. He established a slow rhythm, toying with her, plunging in and out, softly stroking across her clit.
“Jared…” she gasped.
“Yes?” he questioned, a little more in control than she wanted to hear.
So beyond control was she that she didn’t even care. She just begged. “Please…”
Suddenly, his mouth joined his fingers, his tongue laving her clit while his fingers pumped in and out. She came in waves, convulsing around his hand. His mouth slowly stilled along with his hand, his lips moving to trace their way up her body. She tasted herself on his lips when he brought his to hers in another searing kiss. The utter decadence of having all of his body against hers was beyond incredible. She finally got to run her hands across his chest, stroke his muscled back and curl her hand around his cock—its warm velvet length pulsing in her grasp. He proceeded to recalibrate her yearning again. From the echoes of her orgasm, another began to build as he toyed with her with his fingers again, this time with soft strokes, the barest of touches, driving her close to her peak, but not allowing her to tumble over.
Jared paused to stretch across her, tugging open the drawer of a night table. Susie was so deep into the haze of desire, her mind didn’t register the sound of the condom wrapper tearing. Suddenly, he was on top of her again, his elbows bracketing her head. The tip of his cock rested against her channel. The desperate need to have him inside of her was something she’d never experienced. Because while she may have been a virgin, she’d had plenty of foreplay. And she’d never been overcome like this, where the ache to reach completion was a throbbing instinct. His green gaze was a blur. He held her eyes for a long moment before bringing his lips to hers just as he arched his hips and slid inside of her with a swift surge.
Pain sliced through her and every muscle in her body tensed. She tried to breathe through it. He froze completely and lifted his lips from hers. She tried to school her expression to blank, but she didn’t have time. He swore savagely and started to pull back.
“No!” she slid her hands down his back and held him against her.
“You could have mentioned you were a virgin,” he said, his voice low and threaded with anger.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said defiantly. “Plus, it’s too late now.”
“Oh it’s definitely too late,” he said flatly.
Though his anger was clear, Susie wasn’t sure if he was angry with her, himself, the situation, or all of the above. But even in his anger, he stayed firm inside of her, so she knew he hadn’t lost his desire. She didn’t want to explain, but she knew she had to say something.
“It wasn’t like I was saving myself. It just kind of…happened. Don’t think I’m going to be all gaga because you ended up being the one I lost it with. It just happened that way.”
As she spoke, the pain was finally receding. She shifted her hips subtly to ease the pressure. Jared closed his eyes and took a slow breath, appearing to attempt to keep himself under control. He might not want to admit it, but she felt his hips move in reflex when she did. The tiny motion set sparks of pleasure alight in her again. Keeping one hand firmly against his muscled back, she slipped the other up and around the back of his neck, pulling his lips to her.
“Don’t be a coward and back out on me now,” she whispered against his lips.
“I’m not a coward, but we will talk about this later,” he replied.
Susie tugged him closer and kissed him, hoping it would shut him up. Passion filtered around them again. Jared began to move in increments. Twinges of pain lingered, but slowly fade
d. He settled into their kiss, once again demonstrating his sheer mastery of the act. By the time his lips left hers to trace a heated path down her neck, she was gasping. He kept mostly still inside of her while his fingertips traced her breasts softly, making her desperate for the touch of his lips. Heat built in her core. Slick as she already was, she felt herself getting wetter as his lips finally closed over one of her nipples. He patiently laved and nipped both nipples, bringing her to the point that her head tossed on the pillows and her hips shifted restlessly against him.
She gasped his name and bucked against him. The pain completely gone now, she was feverish with want to achieve release. He slowly made his way back up her neck, cupping her cheek with one hand, his forehead falling against hers. Finally, finally, he began to slide in and out. She almost sobbed in relief. The feeling of him inside of her was so intense, she could hardly bear it. The contrast of his hardness to her softness—his cock inside of her, his chest against her breasts—made her almost delirious.
Jared had been mostly quiet, his responses physical rather than audible. But when he pulled almost all the way out and stroked in deeply… “Oh my God…Susie…” he rasped, his voice slurred. Through the haze of desire snaked around them, she arched against him, her legs curling around his hips, and pulled him deeper into her. He slipped a hand between them, his thumb stroking across her clit, and she shattered, convulsing around him. He drove deep in a final surge. She felt his climax as he pulsed inside of her before collapsing against her.
Chapter 8
Jared fell against Susie’s lush body, barely able to catch his breath. After a long moment, he shifted so his weight didn’t crush her, immediately missing the feel of her full breasts against his chest. He made do by dragging a hand down to curl under one of her breasts. The soft glow from a lamp he’d flicked on when they got upstairs glimmered against her damp skin. As the pulses of his orgasm faded, he found he didn’t want to move away from her. The tight glove of her channel was better than anything he’d ever felt, but then he’d never been with a virgin. When he was younger, the last thing he’d wanted was to bear the burden of being someone’s first. Too much pressure. So he’d dated older girls. His mind was still reeling from the fact that she was a virgin—was being the operative word now.
