by Valia Lind
"You don't have to answer. I just didn’t—"
"No, it's okay. It's fair for you to know about my life."
"Does that mean you'll tell me more if I ask?"
"Depends on the question."
I can never get a true read on him. Right now, he seems almost playful. A moment ago, he seemed standoffish. I really do have to be my best when I'm around him. He constantly keeps me guessing.
"Let's start with parents then." I smile.
Derek grunts a little, as if it's his least favorite subject. But then he replies, "My parents do not care much about me. Well, my mother does not. I am not sure which one of her suitors is my father. We never talk of it."
There's no sadness or emotion in his words. He says them matter of fact. I've noticed he becomes more formal when he talks of his homeland. I wonder why that is.
"You never asked?"
"Fae do not bother with such minuscule things. They take many lovers throughout their lifetime. It is a long time to be alone."
"They?" I don't miss his choice of pronoun on that one. He meets my eye as if he's surprised.
"I have not."
I have no idea how to feel about that statement or if I find it entirely true. Fae have ways to trick the language to suit them. He could've said he has not ever or recently or in the last century and all of those statements would be truth. It makes me think of when I was at the academy. The fae there couldn't hold others to their standard Faery rules. They couldn't enslave me for a simple thank you or glamour me into submission. I wonder where Derek stands on that. I've been careful around him until this point, but maybe we've finally reached a place where I can ask.
I have nothing to lose.
"Do you lie?"
It's such a straightforward question, but I know there are many interpretations of it in his world. I'm really hoping he sticks to the human world's definition and doesn’t play games.
"I do not."
He doesn't flinch when he says the words, nor does he break eye contact with me. Once again, he answered the question, but there are undercurrents in his words. I decide to push forward.
"Do you abide by the same rules of bargains as they do in Faery?"
"I do."
Once again, no hesitation on his part. But I'm growing more and more nervous. My mind spins, trying to pinpoint every conversation we had. Have I said something that would've attached me to him? Before I remembered to be careful, did I do something that would put me in jeopardy?
"Have I entered into a bargain?" I finally ask. If he can't lie, then he would have to tell me. I hold my breath as I wait for him to reply. He studies me slowly, his eyes roaming over my face like a caress before he replies.
"You have not."
I exhale a sigh of relief, at the same time vowing to be more careful. I don't understand why I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. I shouldn't trust him, but I'm beginning to.
Maybe it's my magic. It likes him. Probably because he taught me how to let it come out and play. But it could be something else. Whatever this pull I feel toward him, it makes it difficult to keep a clear mind. Maybe that's as much glamour as I can get from him.
"Is it true you are constantly using glamour?"
"Yes and no. We use bits of it on ourselves, to keep us looking how we want to be perceived in the human world. But we don't go around glamouring everyone all the time."
"What do you mean, on yourselves?"
Derek shifts to the side, exposing his right side to me. Then, he moves the hair that barely covers the top of his ear aside. Right before my eyes, it's like the rest of it grows upward. Before I can blink, he has a pointy ear.
"Wow!" I move forward automatically, my hand raised to touch it before I catch myself. "That's interesting," I say instead, curling my hand into a fist.
"It's okay. You can touch if you want."
The invitation is whispered, but I don't hesitate to switch places. We're sharing the couch now. Derek doesn't move forward or away, letting me guide my movements. Before I can think too much about it, I'm reaching for the tip of his ear. The moment my finger connects, his body jerks a little.
“I—"
"You're not hurting me. It's just not something anyone does."
My finger traces down to where his ear begins before making its way back up and over. I'm only inches away from his face. The whole thing feels more intimate than I can explain. Even to myself.
I drop my hand. He turns his face, putting our noses barely three inches apart. I stare at his eyes because I'm incapable of looking away. The tension we constantly carry between us sparks to new proportions, and it would take no movement at all to close the distance between us.
Suddenly, I want to. I want to so much that I almost make the move.
But then, I stop.
He is still the enemy.
He is still the enemy.
He is still the enemy.
The words repeat in my mind and then I can think more clearly. Sitting back, I give him a slight smile.
"Learn something new every day," I say, thankful my voice comes out normal.
"That we do," he replies, his eyes on me.
It takes much of my self-control not to squirm under that look, but I manage to keep my body still. Something is happening between us, and I have no idea what to do about it.
The next few days go by in much the same fashion. Thankfully, there are no more disturbing dreams, but the rest of the days stay the same. Giving my magic the time it needs to adjust is helping more than I imagined. Even when I was little and first learning how to harness my powers, it wasn't like this. Maybe simply because everything I was told to do was watched. Here, I don't have that problem. I can do whatever I want with it, and it knows it.
Derek is a quiet companion during most training sessions. He's not really teaching or talking me through it. He's mostly standing by for observation. I find his presence calming, so I don't mind.
This morning, I wake up restless. I can't tell if something happened in my dream. I can't remember it. Or maybe it's something else. But I have a lot of nervous energy inside of me, and I know just what to do about it.
Bouncing down the stairs I find Derek in the kitchen, as usual, making coffee. When I round the corner, his eyes are already on me.
"You seem happy?"
"Parallel to happy?" I reply. I think he doesn't quite understand human emotions, so he has to ask. He probably understands more than a lot of fae, considering he spends a lot of time in this realm.
"What's parallel to happy?"
"Hmm. Eager?"
"We're just going to play twenty questions this morning?"
I grab a mug. After I pour myself some coffee and take a sip, I reply.
"First, that is a very human expression, and I'm proud of you for picking it up. Second of all, no. We're going to spar."
"What?"
"Spar. You know…" I place my cup on the counter and do a few jabs. "Exercise where we fight each other for fun."
"I know what it means," he grumbles, another very human reaction. "And we're not doing it."
"Why?"
He doesn't reply, just heads for the double doors leading to the back porch.
"Derek. Derek. Derek." I stay right on his heels, using my most annoying tone of voice. It's not the best course of action, but I suddenly want to know what he would do if I revert to how I got my way when I was four. My parents didn't go along with it for long, but at first it was cute enough that it worked.
"That's not going to work on me."
"Are you sure?" I sit down right next to him on the bench instead of heading to my own chair like I usually do. My lips split into a grin as I lean forward. "Pretty please. I'm not very good at self-defense. I think it would be great if I had more practice."
I need this. I won't tell him how much though. I've already shown many of my cards. But if this will help with the restlessness I'm feeling, then I need it.
Derek is silen
t for another few moments before he finally nods.
"Yay!" I jump up immediately, grabbing for my mug. "I'll be ready in ten."
I gulp down my coffee as I make my way back to the house to grab water and shoes. I'm already dressed in a leggings and t-shirt combo because I came downstairs prepared. After I finished my coffee and laced up my tennis shoes, I look up to find Derek leaning against the doorway.
"You sure about this?"
"Yes," I reply immediately, placing my hands on my hips. "I've learned a few new techniques since I've been in Arizona. If I get better, I'll be handy in a fight."
And maybe the next time, no one will die because of me. But I don't add that last part. Derek gives me a long look before leading the way outside. Once he finds a spot for us, I start doing stretches. He watches me for a moment before speaking.
"What are you doing?"
"Stretches?"
"Why?"
At first, I don't understand the question. This is how everyone starts their workouts. But then I realize the fae are entirely different. This is something Derek hasn't come into contact with before.
"To help my muscles be more flexible. And to help with soreness."
He nods at that, but the concept is probably still foreign. I've never heard of fae complaining about muscle aches, or anything really. They're not a very expressive species.
As I stretch, my mind goes back to that list of questions I keep wanting to ask. I've been doing that a little at a time, so as to not overwhelm myself or Derek. He's been pretty patient with explaining things to me, but there's still so much unknown.
"The Ancients," I say now, capturing his full attention with two words, "They want the books too, right?"
"They do."
"Why?"
When I ran, I ran from the fae because the book is written in regards to them. It's their realm which would be in trouble if someone started messing with those spells. But I also ran from the Ancients. They are a little more unknown to me.
For all my life, and for generations before me, the Ancients were just a fairytale. Monsters who didn't exist in the real world but who made the stories scary enough that they had to be conquered by a hero. But then, these Ancients decided it was time to wake up and take the world for their own. On top of everything else that is going on in our world right now, they are a huge problem, like a cherry on top.
"The Ancients have been asleep for a long time," Derek replies, still standing a few feet in front of me as I continue with my stretches. "Their power is different now than it was before they went on their extended slumber vacation. The creatures they originally created have become generations of magical beings. They need the knowledge in those books as much as we do."
It's been a few days since Derek referenced himself as one of the fae. It takes me by surprise now, but I don't let it show. Of course he's one of them. Why is it so hard for me to remember that?
"The Ancients don't seem to be doing much of anything though," I say because it's partially true. There was that whole fiasco last year at Thunderbird Academy, but that has been conquered. I know different towns, including one of the Council's hubs, Hawthorne, had face to face contact with the Ancients. But other than that, the world continues to turn as is.
"They are getting ready for something," Derek states, reverting to his more proper tone of voice. "They are at the borders of various Faery kingdoms, waiting in the wings. They watch over every town that interests them while their strength replenishes."
"How do you know this?"
"I have my ways. I like to stay informed."
"I bet you do."
It's crazy to think I'm involved in all of that. The last week and a half, especially since we've been here, has made my life seem so different than what it was. I've felt more balanced here, more myself. Sometimes, I forget I'm in hiding, guarding this huge secret.
When Derek attacks, I'm a split second too late to react. He sweeps me off my feet and I land hard on my back, dust blowing everywhere.
"Classy," I mumble as I get to my feet.
"You wanted to spar."
I roll my eyes. "Fine, let's go."
Chapter 12
I land on my back again, this time feeling the impact all over. Apparently, I'm a lot rustier than I thought. I can't land a punch.
"What am I doing wrong?" I ask as I get to my feet once more.
"You telegraph your moves too much," Derek replies. He looks so sure of himself in his t-shirt and sweats. There’s not a drop of sweat on him while I'm covered in buckets of it.
"What do you mean?"
"Just that. You have the skills, but you're thinking too much before you move. Hand to hand combat is much like battle magic. It's an instinct. You can use battle magic, right?"
"Well, yes. But I've had about seventeen years of practice. I manifested my powers almost the day I turned one."
"That's not usual, is it?"
"Not really. Most come into their powers around the age of six. But I've always been an overachiever." I shrug at that, unperturbed.
"Interesting."
"Sure, sure. Tell me how to stop being predictable."
I think Derek almost chuckles, but then he doesn't. I've been trying to make him laugh since the last time because I like the sound. And it makes me think he's opening up to me. Not exactly sure when that last fact became important, but here we are.
"Instead of planning out your next move, go for it first."
"But how is that going to help if the move is wrong?"
"It will only be wrong if you stop moving. Hand to hand combat is much like a dance. It has fluidity and rhythm. The more you move, the better chance you have at making the right jab at the right time. If you stand still, you become an easy target."
He lunges at me then, but I'm ready this time. I sidestep to the right. He follows, so I do what he said and keep moving. I dodge to the left then right again before I twist around, putting my body behind his. In the same movement, I jam my elbow into his side. I’m happy to have finally landed a hit, but I don't see him fall into my movement. He grabs me around the waist at the same moment he spins. However, instead of fighting, I go limp. It takes him by surprise. We both fall, and he twists his body at the last moment, so I land right on top of him.
"How's that?" I ask, raising my head to look down at him. Once again, we're only inches apart. I'm acutely aware of his body below mine. He seems to be frozen in time, as if afraid to breathe lest he ruins the moment.
I don't give him a chance.
Emboldened by I don't know what, I reach out a hand, pushing the hair off his forehead. He inhales sharply, clearly not as unaffected as he pretends to be. I grin, enjoying his small outburst. Maybe this is foolish, but for some reason, I can't resist playing this game.
I lean just a fraction closer.
Then, the world goes black.
I scream at the sudden darkness, but the sound only echoes around me with no response. Derek is gone as if he were never there. I stumble to my feet, looking all around me. I still appear to be at the cabin. Except everything is barely visible through the black curtain that has fallen over the area.
"Hello?" I call out, fear eating at my heels. "Derek, where are you?"
There's no answer, no noise at all. It’s as if all the bugs and creatures in the area have disappeared as well.
"Derek!" I scream, filling the air with my voice and nothing else.
"Derek isn't here."
The words come from behind me. I twist to find a large shadowy shape a few feet behind me. It seems to float five feet off the ground, or maybe it's actually that tall. I can't tell. What I can tell is that it's terrifying. I push my chin up, determined not to show fear, but I'm sure I reek of it.
"Where is he?" I ask, managing to keep my voice mostly normal. The creature doesn't answer right away. I can't even tell if it's human or something else. The large robe it wears covers most of its body with a hood pulled low over the face.
"I
have come to offer a deal." the thing says, instead of answering my question.
"What kind of deal?"
My mind races with possibilities, looking for a way out of this. Every direction only offers me pitch darkness. I could fight it. When I reach for my magic, it is there. That brings me a small ounce of comfort.
"The book is ours, and we want it back. Bring it to us, and you live. Bring it to them, and you die."
I don't have to ask who "them" is. The Ancients have a reason to fear the fae. They have been around long enough to give the Ancients a run for their money. But I made the choice already. I chose not to give it to either one. I chose to run.
"You will no longer be able to stay neutral." The voice continues, as if it can read my mind. "You will have to choose. If you choose them, you will die, as will your parents and your whole town. Everyone you have ever come into contact with will perish. Everyone."
The horror that fills me takes all the breath out of my lungs. I'm not stupid enough to think that if I made this deal, I would come out alive. Or if any of those I love would. The thing continues to watch me. I think maybe it is reading my mind. So, I fill it with every little thing I can think of.
"What is the meaning of this?" It asks after a few seconds. I realize I was right. My mind recites equations I memorized before it turns to song lyrics and then it turns to geography names. "You are foolish to try and evade us."
"Thanks, but no thanks. Get out of my head!"
"You will regret this."
"I already do. Now. Get. Out. Of. My. Head!"
I scream the words as I push all my battle magic at it. There's no hesitation when I call on it. My magic and I have a good relationship now. The creature doesn't make a sound, but then just as suddenly as it went dark, there's light again.
Somehow, I'm on the ground with Derek's face over mine. When I meet his eyes, they're full of panic. An emotion I never thought I'd see on him.
"Avery?"
"I'm here," I say, pushing myself to my elbows. "What happened?"
"You collapsed, and I couldn't reach you." His arms are still around me as he helps me sit up. I squeeze his forearm in assurance. For him and myself. That was an out of body experience I don’t want to experience again.
