“So, then,” he said drawing out every word, “Why are you making, um, how do you say it, googly eyes, at him?” He said, this time inclining his head in Isaac’s direction.
“I was not,” I said, but it came out to defensively to sound convincing.
“Hmm,” he started thoughtfully, “if you are his soul mate,” inclining his head in Jonathon’s direction, “why do you have such strong feelings for the hunter?” This time he nodded to Isaac.
I tried to laugh, to blow off his accusations, but it sounded too forced. Kind of like someone choking.
“Gabriel I think the ‘feelings’ you are picking up on are ‘friendship’ emphasis on the friend. There is nothing between me and Isaac,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.
Gabriel smirked, “I’ll believe it when you believe it,” He said before disappearing into the woods.
I stood there completely dumbfounded, my feet still glued to the ground, but not from Gabriel’s intense stare but from the fact that he was right.
I was in love with Jonathon, he was my soul mate, my life, but I cared about Isaac too and if I was honest with myself I cared for Isaac as more than just my friend. What I felt for him was more but I wasn’t sure what those feelings were or what they would turn into. And if I was completely honest with myself then I would have to admit that my feelings for Isaac had been growing ever since Jonathon had launched himself out of my window and out of my life, I had been devastated but Isaac had been there, and if I was as honest with myself as I could be then I would have to admit to myself that the night that I went to Isaac’s concert and he kissed me that the feel of his lips against mine had felt good, had felt amazing, but that was something that I was not ready to admit, not even to myself.
“Deep in thought?” Jonathon’s voice sounded, soft as a feather, against my ear. I jumped at the sound of his voice and bonked my head against his which was going to give me a knot on mine since his head was literally hard as a rock.
“Ow,” I said rubbing my head and sure enough I could feel a knot forming. Great. How many more times was I going to run into a vampire this evening? Jonathon’s hand replaced mine, soothing the knot and making it disappear. “Thank you,” I said, relaxing against his touch.
“No problem,” he said as his lips replaced his hand.
He pulled away from me and looked out at the field of tents. It looked like a hobo camp.
“Shall, we go find a tent to ourselves before they’re all claimed?”
“We shall,” I said using his formal dialect. He held out his arm like a proper gentlemen and I placed mine in it. We sauntered over to the field of tents. He peeked into some, some were empty but not good enough, others held occupants that either hissed, ‘go away’, at us or giggled. The ones giggling would be Vivian and Viola. I don’t think a Coven member had the ability to giggle. They were all so stoic.
Eventually we found an empty tent, far away from the others, it was back in the corner under an awning of trees, at a fair distance from the others, but not too far away. If something were to happen in this tent, like Selena showing up, the others could be here in under five seconds. But it was just enough distance away from the city of tents to seem private. And privacy was going to be a privilege.
I unzipped it and climbed inside. It was small but surprisingly roomy.
I turned back to face the front of the tent where cool air was streaming in. Jonathon was still outside.
“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked.
“I will, but in a moment. First, I’ll fetch us some camping supplies. It’s going to get cold tonight and I do think you would appreciate a sleeping bag and maybe a down blanket. Maybe I can even find an air mattress,” he mused. He seemed to like this idea of camping.
I however did not as the sudden urge to pee overcame me. Damn, I wish I had some diapers or something, at least it would be better than peeing in the woods.
“Okay, you go find camping stuff and I’m going to pee,” I said climbing out of the tent and maneuvering around him since he was blocking the exit.
I started off to the woods. I barely got two feet when he said, “Wait a moment, Kylie, let me get you a chaperone.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned around to face him. A chaperone? To pee?
“Jonathon, I’m going to pee. I do not need some angry vampire or Coven member watching me pee. It’s just gross. I’m going by myself,” I said stomping off into the cover of the trees to further my point.
Angrily, I thought to myself, if the Coven owned this piece of land, and there were tunnels underneath, could they not have installed some plumbing?
As I was turning again he said in a normal voice as if he was talking to me, “Diana, Kylie needs an escort to the lavatory, I mean the woods, and could you please assist her?”
“Of course,” she said, suddenly appearing beside me. With her vampire hearing she had heard him clear as day even if she was halfway across the field.
I glared at Jonathon, “I’m going to get you for this,” I seethed.
He chuckled. “Anger does not become of you, my love,” He said, already striding away. My eyes narrowed to slits and burned holes into the back of his skull.
“This way, Kylie, the Coven has already set up a latrine,” said Diana leading me into the woods and to the left.
Oh, dear, I thought, rolling my eyes at the darkening sky.
Diana directed me to the latrine and the disappeared. I knew she could still hear me but couldn’t see me.
I squatted and peed as quickly as I could. Unfortunately, I had started my period. That was my luck. Have your period in the middle of the woods. Thank the lord I had been expecting its arrival and had a tampon in my pocket.
Let me tell you, it’s extremely difficult to insert a tampon when you’re in the woods, in the dark, with a bunch of creepy animals making creepy noises, you’re squatting, and your knees want to give out. But I did it.
I started walking in the direction we had come. Diana met me before I had gone three steps. She walked me back to the camp. We were silent.
She led me to the tent that was to be Jonathon’s and mine.
Jonathon had managed to find everything he had hoped to. There was an air mattress on the floor of the tent with a navy sleeping bag on one side and a purple one on the other. There were two pillows and a big down comforter. He had managed to procure a small lantern that gave the tent a homey coziness. Jonathon was stretched out across the navy sleeping bag; he had already removed his shoes and shirt. His chest gleamed in the moonlight.
I zipped the tent closed behind me. The lamp made his pale skin appear darker. I flopped onto the purple sleeping bag, never the graceful one. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. His granite skin was a couple degrees warmer than it had been earlier.
“You ate,” I said, noticing his warm silver eyes, they had been getting consistently darker but now they were back to their warm silver gray color. I had noticed that since we’d been on the road he had been having to eat more. Could stress make a vampire hungrier? I guess it did. “How did you manage to do all of this and still eat in the time it took me to pee?”
“I’m a vampire,” he said simply. I chuckled, that was his answer to everything.
He held me close. I nuzzled my face into his neck and had the oddest sensation: to bite.
A startled breath escaped my lips as I pulled away from him, if he hadn’t let me I wouldn’t have been able to pull away from his vampire grip.
I moved to the far corner of the tent. As far away as I could get from him.
His hurt expression made me hurt but I was too terrified to comfort him.
“Principessa, what is wrong? Have I done something to upset you?” he asked and his eyes were questioning and hurt.
“No, of course not, it’s just that the, um. . . bloodlust thing hasn’t quite gone away,” I whispered and then bit my lip ashamed.
“Oh, principessa,” he whispered, looking pained.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t help it.” I sighed.
“I know, love, I know. I feel it too and it’s killing me,” he moaned burying his face in his hands.
I couldn’t make sense of the whole bloodlust thing. I could sit for hours at a time cuddled up next to him in the car and it didn’t bother me and then at other times his nearness made me crazy. Not crazy for him or his touch but for his blood. Blood! I wanted to drink his blood. It’s like I could see it in his veins. The blueness glowing in the soft light against his pale skin. I wanted to stick my teeth against his neck and devour that precious blue life force. I just knew that one droplet of it would make me stronger make me less human and more vampire.
Looking at his warm silver eyes, having been recently fed, I watched them go from pure silver to completely black with a silver ring around it.
“I’m sick of always fighting my desire,” he hissed around his now elongated teeth; instead of scaring me it actually turned me on.
“Then don’t fight it,” I said in a husky voice. I scooted closer to him. I swished my long dark locks away from my neck exposing the vulnerable skin there. I tilted my neck up and towards him. Blood pounded ferociously through my veins. I knew he could see it running through my veins and my heart pounding in fear and desire.
I needed him to drink my blood and in turn I needed to drink his. This feeling wasn’t fading like he had said it would. It was getting stronger. So, much stronger. It would be the ultimate sin if he was to sink his teeth into my neck and I was to drink his blood. We would be making the bond stronger. But I scooted even closer to him anyway. My chest was now pressed against his bare one. I had to crane my neck back to look into his silver and black eyes which exposed my vulnerable neck further.
All I knew was I needed this feeling that was bottled up inside me to be released and the only way for it to be released would be for him to drink from me. I hated myself for feeling this way. It was wrong for both of us. The consequences could be dangerous. Jonathon had told me bloodletting was addicting. We had only done it one time and that was to save my life over six months ago. How could we both still feel this, this desire? Shouldn’t it be gone by now?
But it wasn’t and I was sick of fighting it and I could tell he was too. It was causing us both pain and it was time for that pain to stop.
I sighed; my breath tickling his chin, teasing him, tempting him. His hands gripped me by the elbows like he wasn’t sure whether to pull me closer or push me away.
I stared into Jonathon’s foreign silver and black eyes. He was more monster than human right now but he was still my Jonathon. I don’t think he could ever be a monster. His eyes were animalistic but I could still see the turmoil rolling like a storm in them. I showed him with mine that I wanted him to. I wanted him to bite me. But I did not move closer to him or make any movement. I didn’t want to frighten him when he was in this state, I knew he could rip me to shreds if he wanted to, but his expression was vulnerable. I wanted him to come to this conclusion on his own but I couldn’t help but prod him in the direction I wanted him to go.
I looked directly into his predators eyes. I made sure that no fear showed in mine, just pure undiluted desire.
“Please,” I whispered into the wind.
He was thoughtful for a moment turmoil still rolling thickly through him. Do what’s right or do what’s so, so, wrong but so, so good?
With a moan that was purely male and a mix between pleasure and pain his teeth sank into my flesh.
Bliss.
Chapter Twelve: Desire
I woke up encompassed in Jonathon’s arms. I was surprised to find him asleep. I guess between not getting enough sleep, eating last night and then drinking my blood it had lulled him to sleep like a peaceful child.
His vampire grip was tight and I couldn’t move a millimeter and honestly I didn’t want too. I would have thought that between the cold outside and the cold of his arms I would have been a frozen popsicle but I felt strangely warm. Maybe drinking his blood had made me immune to the cold, I mused.
The way he held me we were facing each other. My face was looking directly into his glorious chest. I had to tilt my head back to look into his angel’s face. This motion hurt my neck slightly where he had bit me but it wasn’t anything unbearable.
Gosh, he’s beautiful, I thought. I had never truly gotten to appreciate his beauty. I had never had the chance to stare at him with no shame. He always tried to hide himself from me like he was ashamed of himself. I could study every bronze eye lash and every golden curl. I traced his mouth with my index finger and then his pale purple eyelids. Everything about him was so perfect. His vampire skin was flawless, no scars, except on his neck where he had been bit to become a vampire, no pores, not even a hint of stubble, his skin was completely smooth, hard but soft at the same time.
It was like rubbing a piece of granite; it was smooth but cold and hard but precious. His eye lashes were soft and there were many of them. His blond curly hair made him look even more like an angel. He was a man but a statue. He was a person frozen in time. He was perfect and he was mine.
I was memorizing his features when his eyes began to crack open and he grinned.
“See something you like?” he asked, touching my nose.
“Hmm, not really,” I said kissing him.
“Is that so?” He said, moving so that I was lying on my back on top of the air mattress and he was hovering above me.
“Take it back,” he said kissing my chin and then my neck where he had bit me. When he kissed the bite mark he instantly went rigid. His muscles tightened and he pulled away from me. “We shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid and wrong of me to let that happen. It’s only going to make the bloodlust stronger,” he said putting on a clean shirt.
“I know but it felt so good,” I sighed blissfully pulling my knees up and resting my chin on them.
“It was pleasurable for me as well Kylie but that isn’t the point,” he huffed, pulling the black shirt down over his pale, washboard abs.
“Then what is?” I asked.
“It’s dangerous and addicting. I could drink too much of your blood and kill you. Do you have any idea of what kind of pain that would put me through!” He cried and he looked like a man on fire.
“You’re right but I still liked it and honestly Jonathon I don’t think you could kill me. You love me too much,” seeing him begin to protest I held up my hand and he closed his mouth to let me finish, “and even if you did kill me, I can’t think of a more enjoyable way to go.”
“How can you speak so calmly of your own demise?” He asked in shock. A fire raged behind his silver eyes and he looked like he wanted to shake me.
“Because you would be the one ending my life. If Selena was about to bite my neck off I’d much rather have you do it,” I reasoned with a shrug. Jonathon growled at me.
“You’ve thought about this?” He asked, shock written clearly across his face.
“Yes, I have. If Selena comes to kill me and it looks like she is going to succeed in doing so I want you to stop fighting her and come to me and kill me. I’d rather you’re face be the last one I see before I die than hers. Can you do that for me?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye and see his shock.
“No,” his voice bellowed. “I can’t do that. I can’t have you die by my own hands. That would be the worst kind of torment imaginable. You’d be dead and not by someone else’s hands, no, you’re blood would be on mine,” he said looking at his hands like they were already drenched in my red life force.
“But Jonathon don’t you see my point. You won’t hurt me at least not compared to what Selena would do. I know you, and you would kill me as gently as possible. You killing me would drive Selena into further madness. She would be so filled with rage at not being the one to kill me that she would be an easy target to take down. She would be dead and everything would calm down and go back to normal,” I said, pa
inting the picture of my death clearly for him.
If it was possible he was paler than he had been a minute ago. “Nothing would go back to normal,” he spat, “you’d be dead.”
“Please,” I whispered. I just couldn’t bear the thought of dying by Selena’s hand.
He groaned, “I can’t promise that. No matter how much I may love you I just can’t do that. I’d rather go against your wishes and make you a vampire than kill you with my own two hands.”
I knew he wouldn’t give in and I didn’t want to argue the point further. I knew him and if he saw that Selena was going to succeed in killing me he would do as I asked. He would give me my final wish. My final desire before I died. He wouldn’t want me to suffer by her hands. He knew I was right, I could see it in his eyes, but he didn’t want to imagine such a tragic outcome. He wanted to believe there was something more for us. He didn’t want to imagine things coming to such an early end. Jonathon wanted to believe that we had forever. He had waited nearly seven hundred years for me, our time together had been the blink of an eye for him, just a little blip in his centuries long life, how could it come to an end so soon? We had barely had a life together.
With an indescribable pain in his eyes he left the tent so that I could change.
I threw on some clean clothes as quickly as I could in the minimal space. I stumbled and fumbled to get my jeans on. It was easier to put on my dark purple long sleeved shirt and olive green vest. I climbed out of the tent to find Jonathon waiting just outside of it. I was never going to be left alone.
I tried to meet his gaze but he wouldn’t look at me. His jaw was taut and his posture rigid. I knew there was no outside threat. I was the one that had made him so strained. I shouldn’t have asked him. I had put him back on edge and now I truly was never going to be left alone. Eyes would always be watching me.
I knew he thought that I may take matters into my own hands but the truth was I could never do what my mother had done. I just couldn’t.
The Coven had made a breakfast fit for an army and set up several long foldable tables with foldable chairs. I didn’t see how all that food was going to be eaten but as I looked at their full plates I could see where it was going. They all had food piled so high on their plates that they put Mason and Danny to shame. I couldn’t help but gag a little. It was like watching Animal Planet when a lion attacks its prey.
Forbidden (Fallen Series Book 2) Page 13
