“No,” he said, “Not now.”
I smiled, “Jonathon, I’m ready. Now. I don’t want to wait anymore. I’ve changed my mind. I want you. I need you,” I moaned and pressed my lips forcefully against his.
He kissed me back and then pulled away, “And I want to be married to you first.”
“Jonathon, we just got engaged and we’re soul mates. We’re practically married already,” I reasoned and pressed my lips against his again.
“I want to do this the right way,” he whispered but I could see that his resolve was waning.
“This is the right way for us,” I said and kissed both his cheeks, then his chin, and finally settled on his mouth.
“This isn’t the way this is supposed to happen. I didn’t get to propose to you the way I wanted so can you at least let me make love to you on my own terms? Please?” He begged but I could see in his eyes that he was uncertain.
“And who made you the boss?”
He laughed, “Oh, so you’re the boss?”
“If I have to be I will. I want this Jonathon. I’m ready.”
“What if I’m not? Are you just doing this because of Selena?” He asked.
“This has nothing to do with her. This is about you and me and the fact that we love each other. I’m ready, Jonathon. I love you.”
He growled low in his throat, “Kylie, you are really testing my control here.”
“Please,” I said. I wasn’t opposed to begging.
“We haven’t even discussed this at all. I haven’t even had a chance to explain the risks to you.”
“I don’t care,” I said kissing him.
He tightened his hold on me, “But I do care. I can’t put you at risk like that.”
“Why?” I asked kissing him again hoping to distract him.
He growled again, “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. I want you to.”
“No, you don’t. You’re just doing this because you’re scared. When we finally do this I want it to be special for you. Special for the both of us.”
“It will be special whenever we do it, Jonathon. It doesn’t matter when or where as long as it’s with you.”
He put me down. “So, then you don’t have a problem waiting?”
I sighed, “I don’t want to wait.”
“I can’t put you at risk like this, Kylie. It wouldn’t be fair. You don’t understand the risks of this. I’m not like a human man. Everything about me is so much powerful,” he blushed profusely and set me down. I had never seen him blush before. In fact I had thought it was impossible but here was the evidence. He turned away so I couldn’t see his face, “I can’t do anything to protect you from getting pregnant Kylie. This is so embarrassing,” he said covering his face, “When I met you and told Patrick about you he explained things to me. I have urges just like a human male, Kylie, and you sitting there ready to give me everything isn’t helping. But you have to understand that while some of what I feel and want is like any other male that’s not who I am. I’m a vampire and I’m much more powerful and stronger and I could hurt you. I’m… Ugh, I can’t believe I have to tell you this but I guess we would’ve had to have this talk eventually… I’m…” he stalled again.
“What Jonathon? Just say it,” I said.
“Well, you I am much more… virile. Everything about me is so much more powerful, including procreation,” he blushed. “Patrick tried to explain it to me as best he could. He says that our sperm possess vampire qualities as well. That’s why I can’t prevent you from getting pregnant. Patrick said it eats right through the condom,” I could see his cheeks getting redder, it looked strange with his pale skin; “I don’t want to risk you like that. I can’t.”
“Jonathon,” I began, “I don’t care. I want you. If,” I swallowed, “I get pregnant then we’ll deal with that when the time comes. But for now I want to love you in every possible way.”
“Kylie, you don’t understand what I’m saying. If you get pregnant the pregnancy will kill you. And since you don’t want to become a vampire I’m left with no choice. I will not take your choices away from you. If you don’t want to be a vampire then I won’t risk it. I won’t, Kylie, I won’t do it.”
“Jonathon,” I sighed, “I don’t care about that.”
“You mean to tell me that I have suffered for almost a year because you don’t want to spend eternity with me and you’re willing to throw that all away for one moment of insanity?”
“Seriously, Jonathon, what are the odds of me getting pregnant?”
“Definitely not in your favor.”
“Jonathon, can’t you just let me have this? I mean, even if we were married, the odds still wouldn’t be in my favor. And Jonathon I do not plan on being a nun for the rest of my life simply because I don’t want to be a vampire. So, you’re kidding yourself if you think that.”
“But if we’re married we’ve done it the right way.”
“Jonathon,” I said, “This is the twenty-first century no one waits until they’re married.”
“Please, stop,” he said looking away.
“What difference does it make if it happens today or a year or two years from now?”
With that he growled and pushed me on to his bed lying on top of me. My breathing accelerated and I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, “Woman, you will be the end of me,” he said and silenced any reply I could have made with his mouth. My body immediately responded and I tried to get as close to him as I could. I fisted his shirt in my hands and tried to pull him closer. Knowing what I wanted he moved closer.
He pulled his shirt off and I ran my hands across the smooth, cool, planes of his chest. He was so beautiful it was blinding. My body ached for his touch, ached in ways I had never ached before. I needed him like I needed air.
He kissed my forehead, my nose, my mouth and my neck before moving lower. He tugged my shirt up higher and I removed it. His eyes grew big and he gasped, “You are so beautiful it hurts,” he whispered in my ear before planting a kiss there as well.
His hands roamed across my body like an explorer across land. “I love you,” he whispered in between kisses. I couldn’t say anything. My brain was on overload and my body was tingling. All my senses were doing overtime. My breathing was rapid and I thought my lungs might give out. I wiggled out of my jeans. I could feel color flooding my face as Jonathon paused to take in my body now only clad in a bra and underwear. It left little to the imagination. He stood and undid his belt and deposited his jeans on the ground and then laid back down on top of me. I found it comical how we had spent more time arguing about having sex than the time it was taking for our clothes to come off. Damn, hormones. He pushed my legs apart easily with his knee and pressed his lips to my stomach making me shiver. His mouth trailed up my body before he finally found my mouth.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked breathlessly, pulling away.
“Yes,” I breathed and then the rest of our clothes ended up on the floor.
* * *
Jonathon and I were lying in his bed some time later. I held the sheet up to my chest. He leaned over and kissed my shoulder, “You are more impossibly beautiful than I ever thought possible.” I blushed profusely. “Are you okay? You haven’t said a word. Oh my God did I hurt you? Let me see. I thought I was being gentle. I thought I had myself under control,” he said becoming hysterical. His hands fluttered over my body.
“I’m not hurt,” I said, “Just processing.” In my head I was reliving every single moment. I was sore in places I had never been sore before but I knew from talks with my mom that it was to be expected. But I was so pleasantly happy that nothing else mattered. This was my first time and it was beyond anything I had ever expected. My whole body tingled with a pleasant hum. Everything was so perfect. I had never felt like this before and I hoped this feeling never went away and I also knew that I only had this feeling because I was experiencing this with someone I loved unconditional
ly. With the man I would spend the rest of my life with as husband and wife.
He sighed and laid back down, “Good. You had me scared there for a minute. Patrick told me some horror stories about human-vampire relations.” He breathed a sigh of relief.
I turned on my side and cuddled up next to Jonathon. I traced the smooth lines of his chest and arms with my index finger, he grabbed my wrist, “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked his brow creasing in worry.
I smiled, “Really, I’m fine. That was. Wow. It was incredible.”
Jonathon smiled as well, “It really was. Patrick told me that it would be amazing. He said that it is an even more powerful connection for us because we’re soul mates. He said that it takes the experience above and beyond and man was he right,” he chuckled, “But it’s not like I have anything to compare it to.”
“Thank you,” I said snuggling closer to him. I had long gotten accustomed to his cold skin.
He laughed, “You act like I was forced to do it against my will. Believe me I wanted to more than you.”
“But you’re the one that wanted to wait,” I said.
“I wanted it to be special and memorable but you were right, like always, no matter when or where it would have been memorable,” he picked up my left hand and kissed my engagement ring, “And we still have our wedding to look forward to.”
“I can’t wait,” I said, “But I’m not sure I’m ready for all the planning that goes into it.”
He smiled and kissed me again, “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of help between my sister and Amelia.”
I gulped, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“I promise not to let them go overboard. It’s our wedding which means it’s our day. I want it to be your dream wedding not theirs. They can just do the heavy lifting,” he laughed. I laughed too.
“I’m sure they’ll love that,” I said.
“They love you which is the important part.”
I sighed, “I sure hope my groom loves me.”
He kissed me and ran his hand down the length of my body making me shiver, “I think your groom just proved how much he loves you,” he placed a kiss on my collar bone.
I blushed, “I guess you did.”
He put his arms around me and pulled me against him, “I love you, principessa. I never want to let you go. I wish we could lay here like this forever.”
I laughed and traced his lips. I quirked my eyebrows and said, “Oh, I’m sure you would love that.”
He blushed. I hadn’t thought it was possible for vampires to blush but that’s what Jonathon was doing yet again.
His hand traced the length of my body, “That’s not what I meant and you know it but now that you mention it,” his hand cupped my thigh and with a tug he pulled me on top of him, “I could really live like this forever.”
Now I blushed. I laughed and hit his arm, “You may be a vampire but you really are just like any other teenage guy.” I kissed him and then settled back beside him.
He grinned, “I was turned when I was eighteen not seventeen and I’ve lived through almost seven hundred years. I think that makes me a man and not a teenager.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Let me rephrase then. You may be a vampire but you really are just like any other man.”
He smirked, “Now, that’s more like it,” he said and kissed me. He sighed and laid back. I put my head on his chest and my arm around him to get even closer to him. I desperately didn’t want to lose contact with him. I felt like if I wasn’t touching him this pleasant feeling would go away and I never wanted it to stop. He ran his hand gently through my hair. I twisted the beautiful diamond ring on my finger.
“Are you sure you like it? I can get you something different,” he asked noticing me looking at it.
“Jonathon,” I said, putting my hand on his chin, “I love it. Words can’t describe how much I love it. It’s perfect. Perhaps too big,” I laughed.
“You deserve a big ring. But more than that, you deserve the world.”
I kissed him, “You know, I’ve always wanted to travel the world.”
“Well maybe one day we can. Together.”
“I’d love that,” I said.
The light was just beginning to disappear behind the clouds and the moon was beginning to peak out like a hiding child. I felt Jonathon stiffen in my arms.
“We need to get ready. The time is almost here. She’ll be coming soon. She has to know we’re here.”
Tears came to my eyes, “Not now.” Not after this, was what I left unspoken.
“It’s time for this to end.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I cried. I didn’t want anybody else to get hurt but I would selfishly risk everyone just to have him come back to me. It was as if since we had had sex our connection had only grown stronger and more unbreakable. The thought of losing him had always hurt but now the thought felt like a wreaking ball being thrust into my stomach. I couldn’t take the pain. It was going to make me sick.
He kissed my forward, “I know how you feel. Believe me I feel the same way. I will do everything in my power for this to end with no casualties. But you have to be realistic Kylie, and realize that some people may not be coming back.”
I sniffled as a few tears came pouring out. I sat up and looked down at the golden sheets. He wiped my tears away with his thumb. “My beautiful, principessa. Please, don’t cry. You’re breaking my heart.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I just can’t help myself. I don’t want anyone to be hurt or die on my behalf but I would sacrifice all of them to ensure your safety. I feel like such a horrible person for feeling that way, but I do.”
“Shh, principessa, shush yourself. You’ll make yourself sick. You are not a horrible person. I feel the same way. Our bodies are programmed like that. Neither one of us can help it. It’s just part of being soul mates. I’m sure Amelia and Patrick are going through the same thing right now. And what we just did, well, it only helps to make those feelings stronger. We aren’t meant to live without each other and our bodies can sense the danger and it’s just responding. I promise you that this is one-hundred percent normal. You can’t help having these feelings but you can’t let them control you,” he said and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
I hiccupped as my tears quieted, “Are you sure this is normal?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know,” I said.
He took me in his arms and kissed me, “We have to go downstairs now.”
We each climbed out of bed and tried to find our clothes that had been deposited throughout the room. We kept sneaking glances at each other which just made us both blush profusely. “Can you toss me my shirt?” I asked. Embarrassed to see it draped across a canvas.
“As long as you grab my pants?” he said smiling. I laughed as I looked and saw his pants a millimeter from the fire place.
“I guess it’s a good thing it isn’t winter or we would have burned the whole house down,” I tossed him his pants as he threw me my shirt. I grabbed it and slipped it on. I wiggled into my jeans and saw that Jonathon’s eyes were watching my every movement. He held his shirt loosely in his hands.
“I thought we had to hurry?” I said putting my hands on my hips.
He shook his head and slipped his shirt on. He pulled me in for another long kiss.
“We-really-need-to-go,” he said in between kisses, “But-I-don’t-want-to.”
“Then don’t,” I breathed.
He pulled away, “Nice try,” he said with a wink.
I shrugged my shoulders, “Hey, you were the one kissing me. So, you asked for it.”
He kissed me again before opening the door, “Now, we go,” he said.
There were plenty of people and vampires scattered throughout the house. I thought it was a miracle that we hadn’t been discovered. I studied as many of their faces as I could because I realized that this was the last time some of them may be alive all though I hoped desperately that tha
t wouldn’t be the case. I grabbed Jonathon’s hand for support.
We found Jonathon’s family gathered in the dining room discussing strategies with Aleksei and the other older Coven members.
“We thought maybe you guys had abandoned us,” said Joseph slapping Jonathon on the back.
“No,” said Jonathon with a small smile looking down at our entwined hands, “We were a little preoccupied.”
I blushed but then realized that everyone in the room was looking at my left ring finger. Diana screamed and launched herself at me. She kissed my cheek and said, “Finally!”
Amelia squealed and looked at Patrick, “Remember when that was us,” I could see that after all these years neither one of their feeling had changed. They came over to us and both were beaming. I could see they both had tears in their eyes which then brought tears to mine.
Patrick separated from Amelia and grabbed Jonathon into a hug, “I am so happy that you have finally found your piece of happiness. I love you like you’re my own son,” he chuckled and looked at Danny and Mason, “Sometimes I think I love you more. You’ve become a good man, Jonathon, and an even more amazing person and you deserve the best and you’ve found her. I wish your mother and father could be here to see how happy you are.”
“Thank you, Patrick. I wish they were here too but you’ve always been like a second father to me and Amelia like a mother. At least I can share this with you both,” said Jonathon hugging his uncle back.
“Oh, Jonathon,” said Amelia and she hugged him, “You’ve always been like a son to me as has Joseph and Diana like my daughter. You deserve this more than most people. Before Kylie came along all you did was stay in that attic room and berate yourself about your parents deaths and paint. But now you’re finally living. I am so happy for you both,” she said and this time hugged me. “Thank you for saving him,” she said.
Her words made the tears escape. The rest took turns hugging both Jonathon and me while the Coven members waited impatiently hunched over the table. Diana kept jumping up and down and clapping her hands and letting out little random squeals of excitement. Seph was all smiles and pulled me into a bear hug. Danny and Mason were both smiling and had a mischievous look, “Welcome, to the vamp fam, Kylie,” said Danny.
Forbidden (Fallen Series Book 2) Page 22
