I’m a self-made man and can run my companies from anywhere, so skipping over the pond’s no problem. All I need to do now is make it so that by the time I have everything ready my little imp will have no choice but to come home to me and stay there, where she belongs.
It won’t be easy, not after my spectacular fuck up, but I’ll manage as long as there’s hope.
“Who’s giving Garret the good news, then? Because I really have to go kick that bird’s ass and win my bet. One more last hoorah before I sample the fair over the pond, then.”
He rubs his hand together and stomps off with a grin on his face, and I almost feel sorry for the poor girl stupid enough to bet her body on a game of Halo.
“Wanker,” Ry mutters, shaking his head with a cheeky grin. “You seriously got a woman pregnant, after your constant lectures and the truckload of condoms you shovel at us? Ever heard of bagging before tagging, mate?” He tsks and shakes his head, but he’s grinning so big I can’t take offense. “You love this bird, Dev?”
I want to say yes and keep myself on the pedestal they have me perched on, but I can’t lie to him. I didn’t lie to them six years ago when our parents died and I had to explain to three teenagers that they would never come back, and I won’t now.
Not even to save my own arse.
“I like her. A lot. But I can’t say I love her. She’s smart and funny and so fucking beautiful, even though she thinks she’s fat and plain and never believes a compliment. She’s brilliant, but I…I’ve never set out to love anyone, and I don’t know if I can.”
That’s what terrifies me most about all this. I’ve closed myself off to the point that I only know how to give love to those I consider mine. I must have said that out loud, because Ry walks over and slaps the back of my head.
“So make her yours, you dumb fuck. We go over there, and you make sure she becomes ours, and bob’s your uncle.”
“What if she’s not pregnant? She never phoned back, and she won’t answer my calls.”
He gives me a look like ‘are you barmy’ and rolls his eyes.
“Then make sure she gets that way, you arse. Seriously, I’m the seventeen-year-old and have more game than you do, old man. If you want something, you don’t give up. You taught us that. You want this bird?”
“Yeah.”
And I really do. Even if she’s not pregnant now and hates my guts, I want her all for myself. I see things in her I haven’t allowed myself to see in years, and now that the thought has taken root I can’t get it out of my head.
Imp is mine. I may not love her, yet, but I want to. I want to give her my family and let them be hers. I want more with her. Children and home and even her orange, knitted doilies hanging over the couch arms.
I want my brothers teasing the hell out of her and that sexy smirk she gets when she’s done something naughty and thinks no one knows. I want so much I’ve denied myself, but mostly I just want to make her look at me the way she used to, like I hung the stars.
What I got from her last time was sadness, disillusionment, and a whole lot of scorn. I deserve it, but I want my biggest fan back, weird as that sounds, and I won’t rest until she’s so tongue-tied she recites the names of every vegetable in existence.
“Right then. You sort out all the grown up stuff, and I’ll go see if she’ll talk to me. Now now, old chap, keep your dirty looks to yourself. Not my fault you bolloxed things up with her. I’ll just help you fix them. Pay me later. I take cash and checks, no IOUs.”
I laugh when he looks hopeful and flip him the bird, waving him away even as I bring up my contact list and take a deep breath. I need an inside man on the job, and while I may end up losing my dick in the process, I’ll risk it if it gets me that little bit closer to my goals.
Chapter Thirteen
Becky
“Go ‘way!”
I roll over in bed and shove a pillow over my head to drown out the banging noise in an effort to get another hour out of the snuggly place I’m drifting in.
I don’t want to get up yet because then I’ll have to face reality, and that’s a place I really don’t want to go right now. At least not till I’m feeling better and have a definite plan of what to do next.
Devon’s been calling me nonstop for the last week, really insistently, till all calls stopped yesterday. Not even one. I feel a little hurt that he’d just give up that easily, but I have no room to complain, since I had answered not one of his calls and the guy’s probably sick to death of hearing my voicemail.
“Rebecca Joan Slade, open this goddamned door before I kick it in!”
Logan? I jump out of bed and race to the door, swallowing through the dizziness as I throw it open to see my big-ass, badass soldier of a brother standing there, his face one big thundercloud.
“You look like shit,” he mutters, pushing his way in and scrunching his nose at the cartons of old Chinese takeout and empty whipped cream cans.
“Thanks. Don’t hold back with the compliments. God knows I could use it right now,” I say sardonically, banging the door shut and walking into the kitchen.
“Beck—”
“If you’re here to give me shit about what I said at the wedding—”
“No. You were right. I got mad about Dad giving me the cold shoulder and the rest of them not standing up and defending me when I should be pissed with myself about not having the balls to sit down and make him see what I want. That’s on me, not Mama or Grey or you. I just don’t know how to say what I need to without saying something that I can’t take back.” He sighs, shoving his feet onto the coffee table. “This place is a mess.”
“Yeah. I quit my job and just kind of took a few days to sleep.”
And cry and maybe convince myself that things will be okay. I have a lot of money in the bank, thanks to Dad paying some of my expenses, but that’ll stop soon when he hears I have no intention of becoming a lawyer.”
The news shocks him, and I see his eyes widen before a bright smile burst across his face.
“You tell the old man yet?”
“Nope,” I mutter, shoving him over and flopping down beside him. “When I’m ready.”
“He’s gonna shit a brick when you tell him daddy’s little princess isn’t following his map,” he laughs, pulling me close and scrubbing at my hair.
“Stop that, you ogre.”
“Nope. I missed you, and I wanna torture you a little.”
I snort and pinch his side, digging my elbow in for good measure.
“Coulda fooled me, asshole.”
“What’s going on, Beck?” he asks, suddenly serious. “Grey called and told me to get you to answer your phone. Who are you avoiding?”
And just like that I have my big brother and best friend back. I start crying and blubbering all over him, and he takes it, wrapping his big strong arms around me to pull me close and smell my hair.
It feels so good I cry harder, clinging to his chest and telling him everything. Everything. By the time I’m done, I feel better and he looks ready to tangle with a rabid bull, and I laugh because now I know I have my brother back.
“I should probably kill him, or rip his dick off. Or rip his dick off and then watch him bleed to death,” he says darkly, making me giggle.
“No, this isn’t just his fault. I did this too; I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I messed things up because I was afraid to look like an ass. If anyone’s to blame here, it’s me. I should have told him how I felt instead of leading him on.”
But then he would never have touched me, and I wouldn’t have ever felt his passion and gotten to hold him the way he’d let me. So yeah, while I’m pissed at him, I have to be woman enough to take some of the heat.
“You should answer your phone.”
“Yeah. I was going to yesterday, but he stopped calling me.”
Figures.
He rolls his eyes and looks down at my belly—which hasn’t been flat since I rolled out of Mama—and grins.
“You got my first niece or nephew in there, scampers?” he asks softly, and I swear I see moisture in his eyes.
“Oh, go get a tampon, you big old baby,” I grump, slapping his hand away playfully. “You can touch him when you tell me what’s going on with you. And no holding back, asshole. I want it all.”
He tells me about loving his job and hating that Mama and Dad don’t support him in it. He tells me about a woman he fell in love with but caught in bed with one of his buddies. He tells me how he found out she was pregnant the day after she aborted his kid, and then he tells me that his heart is broken and he doesn’t know how to fix it.
I cry, because I want to help him but I don’t know how. I can’t even fix my own shit, and it’s not even half as big as his. But I know that I can be there for him and love him, and I tell him so.
“Okay, that’s enough crying for now. Go shower, because you stink, and I’ll try and clean this dump.”
I go, because he’s right, and feel better since I had that talk with him at the wedding. Nothing like family to get you straight.
When I come out of the room, ready to give him shit after his crying jag, I stop dead in my tracks and zip my lips. But not before something slips out.
“Oh, zucchini.”
Five pairs of male eyes are staring at me, three that I’ve never seen before. One that I will deal with later, for opening the door, and another whose ass I will kick as soon as I can convince my limbs to start functioning again.
“You’re right, Dev old man, she really is a fox!” one of the younger ones yells, jumping up and coming my way with a mischievous grin before grabbing me off my feet and laying a doozy of a kiss right on my half-open mouth. “Nice arse, sweetheart.”
“Oy, get your filthy hands off my woman, you wanker.”
That’s Devon I hear growling like a bear, but I can’t pay him a scrap of attention when the bear currently holding me grabs my ass and gives it a firm squeeze.
“Please tell me all you Yank females are built this perfectly, or I think I’ll steal you before the bloke can get his greedy paws on you,” he begs, winking at me.
I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around me from behind before the kid gets a foot in the chest that sends him flying. He catches himself before he falls, and laughs, flipping Devon the bird and making kissy noises with his mouth.
“Fuck off, Davy boy, or you’ll have nothing to ruin the girls with when I’m done with you,” he growls, pointing a finger at the others in warning.
“Now then, imp, meet Garret, David, and Ryan, our brothers. Lads, say hello to imp.”
“Yeah, hi, nice rack.”
“Bloody brilliant eyes. They gold?”
“I already told you you have a nice bum.”
I’m giggling by the time they’re done, and even Logan cracks a smile.
“Why don’t we leave these two to talk? There’s a burger joint around the corner that makes a mean chili fry.”
Logan rounds them up and has them out the door before I can move.
“Traitor!”
“Yeah, yeah, thank me later. You hurt my sister and I’ll end your miserable existence, asshole. You got me?” he barks, narrowing his eyes.
“Clearly. Get the fuck out then, unless you want to see me kiss her.”
He slams out, and I grin, till I remember that my back is pinned to Devon’s chest and we’re alone.
“If I put you down are you going to hit me, imp?”
I snort and consider it before shaking my head and getting as much space between us as humanly possible. I can’t be that close to him without feeling things, and I really don’t need to feel these things. Not now, when I’ve just gotten stuff sorted out.
“I came to beg you… You’re pregnant with my baby, yes?” he asks, and I swallow, nodding when his gray eyes light up and he grins.
He gets so excited, and I flinch when he stalks closer and grabs my hands, bending at the waist to look down into my eyes.
“I’m so glad, and…and I wanted you to know that I am so happy—”
“Dev—”
“No, please, let me speak. For the longest time I haven’t allowed myself to love anyone but my brothers and the few friends I have. I’d convinced myself, after I was left at the altar—but that’s another story. Anyway, I’d convinced myself that loving people was weakness and that I had no room in my life and heart for anyone else.”
He pauses, and I feel myself freeze.
“And then you came along, and I couldn’t keep my hands off you. You’re so fucking beautiful and smart and funny, and you rocked my world that morning in bed. It scared me to death when I heard you singing in the shower and I got this happy feeling…it felt so close to contentment that I could hardly breathe for the terror I felt. So I ran away and convinced myself it was the right thing to do.”
“Devon, I need—”
“When you called it was like lifting a curtain of misery I didn’t even know I was under. For the first time in six years I felt like maybe I stood a chance at the happiness I’d written off, like I could possibly have everything I always wanted but wouldn’t let myself have.”
He takes a deep breath and grins, making my stomach dip and quiver with butterflies.
“I sold some of my interests abroad and made some changes. The lads and I have bought a house here in Georgia, close to your parents but far enough away that we won’t have to worry about them turning up at all hours, and we’ve started decorating the nursery, and I even kitted out this little hobby room for you where you can knit and crotchet and do all those artsy things you enjoy doing.”
“Dev.”
He’s so excited about everything—a house, and he’s moved here! —that I feel dread unfurl deep within me when he drops down to his knees and takes my hands, looking up at me with so much affection and hope my heart aches.
“I can love you, imp. I want to love you. I want to make love to you every night and watch you swell with our baby, and…and I want you to learn to love me back. I’m asking you, imploring you, to be a part of my family, brothers and all,” he whispers, kissing my hand with a smack of his lips.
“Will you please marry me, Rebecca Slade? I promise you I will do everything in my power to deserve you.”
I’m so shocked I don’t feel the tears pouring down my face. I don’t hear or see anything but his bright and hopeful face, till the door opens and Dillon walks in.
“What the heck? What’s going on here, Becky?”
Devon stands and scowls at him, his mouth thinning when he sees the key in Travis’s hand and the bunch of roses.
“Who the fuck are you then?” he snarls, and I feel my vision blur when Dillon grins and points to my finger.
“Her fiancé.”
Chapter Fourteen
The air is thick around us, filled with emotions that I’m struggling to assimilate as Dillon strolls into the room and smiles down at me, his eyes sparkling with an emotion I’m pretty darned sure is glee.
I feel Devon stiffen and I cringe, peeking up at him through my lashes when Dill wraps an arm around my waist and lays a fat, smacking kiss on me, his eyes so mischievous I want to bite his freaking lips and slap him upside the head.
No, Dill and I will never be an epic love story. We’re just not passionate enough about each other to be anything but really good friends and maybe a tepid marriage of convenience that sees us sharing laughter but not much chemistry.
I know this to my soul because I’ve come to accept that the only man who can make me burn is standing in front of me glaring at Dillon so violently I can almost see him pummelling him into the ground and then pissing on the left over bloody pulp.
But here’s the thing; I spent two months feeling like hell because I unconsciously went and fell for a guy I knew wasn’t even on the market. Those two months had been nights of crying into my pillow, crying in front of the TV while I watched an ad for Grooper’s super spicy mustard and basically anytime I couldn’t force myself to forge
t him.
When I wasn’t crying I was at work-okay so I cried there too sometimes - and then one day Dillon had spotted me at the supermarket and I hadn’t been alone. He listened to me whine about my stupidity and picked me up, dusted me off and forced me to start dating him.
Dillon and I are good together. Most days. He likes men and women, basically anything that he takes a liking to and never fails to make me laugh.
No, we’re no Romeo and Juliette but he makes me feel like I’m not some forgettable lump that no one wants and I like feeling that way. We’re friends and chances are we always will be so when he’d asked me to marry him to kill two birds with one stone-I get to be a married baby mama and he can finally get his father off his back with me as a semi-beard-I’d agreed.
We’d made a deal. He’d be my husband and take care of me and the kids, plural because he wants some of his own, and I’d be a buffer between him and his homophobic father.
Seems good enough. I’ve gone years without mind-blowing sex, I’m sure I won’t die if I never come again. So yeah, I’d said yeah, why not and I’m planning to tell my parents next week so that the news of my pregnancy won’t shock the heck out of them.
Although I don’t know who I’m kidding since my dad is probably gonna disown me when he finds out I quit law school and my job.
And now…there must be someone up their laughing their asses off at me because just when I thought I have a handle on things in walks Devon freaking Baxter and I’m right back to square one.
Screwed.
Because I know from that intense look on his face that I’m not going to marry Dill now. Devon won’t let me.
“I would suggest you get your hands and lips off my woman.”
Dillon grins before turning to Devon and scowling. I didn’t even know the guy was capable of anything but carefree mischief.
“Eh, I think you got your wires or something seriously crossed my man. Becky is my girl and we’re getting married. See? I even put this rock on her finger to prove it.” He purrs, kissing said rock and licking at my finger with a lazy smile.
JACE (Lane Brothers Book 3) Page 76
