Samir turns white, while Heathcliff stiffens beside me as if readying himself for a fight.
“Don’t worry, guys, he’s cool,” says Hana. “This is Queequeg.”
Blade and Queequeg study each other. He has more tattoos, but she has more piercings. The two seem to have a kind of mutual admiration for the other.
“Coach H, I just want you to know that as soon as we get back to shore, I’m calling the family attorney and we will sue the school for everything,” Parker snaps as soon as she’s safely on board.
“You can try,” Coach H says, giving me a knowing glance. “But I have to warn you that the students who’ve attempted to explain the secret away from Shipwreck Island ended up in mental institutions.”
Parker sniffs as if she doesn’t believe him, but then she slips into a stony silence.
“That’s where she belongs anyway,” Blade mutters.
“Well, a few counseling sessions with Ms. W ought to set her straight,” Coach H says. “By the way, where is Ms. W? She went looking for you, and…”
I look down at my shoes and then I tell him the story of how she got trapped in the book. But Coach H, instead of seeming sad or upset, just throws back his head and laughs.
“Self-sacrifice! She’s one sneaky gal, that Virginia,” Coach H bellows.
“I don’t get it,” I say.
“She’s gotten her ticket out of purgatory,” Coach H says. “Self-sacrifice, you know. It’s the one sure way to get out of here and straight to, well, someplace else. We’re not sure exactly if it’s heaven or nirvana or reincarnation. The next step, as it were.”
“You’re kidding. She’s been freed?”
“What do you think?” Coach H asks us, holding up Ms. W’s book To the Lighthouse. It’s fading right before our eyes. Even as we watch, it disappears entirely. Coach H looks at his now-empty hand. “I’m gonna miss you, Virginia,” he whispers to it.
“But what about Heathcliff…” Blade starts.
I elbow her in the ribs.
“What? Isn’t it weird that…” She’s about to tell Coach H that the last bit of Wuthering Heights was destroyed. I elbow her. I don’t want to know how he’s still here, I’m just glad he is. And I certainly don’t want to freak the faculty out by letting them know he’s bending the rules of the space/time/fiction continuum, or whatever you’d call it.
“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Coach H adds, clearing his throat, “but I’m afraid that after you and your friends went into the woods, that Ms. P called your parents.”
“She what!” I exclaim.
“I’m afraid they’re going to be waiting for us when we return.”
It’s a long quiet ride back to Shipwreck Island. There’s a bus waiting near the shore to take us back to Bard Academy, where I get time to shower and change before meeting the ’rents. After getting dressed, I stop at Blade’s door. I wanted to know what she was planning to tell her parents so we can all have our stories straight. Her door, which is unlocked, swings open after my knock and I catch a glimpse of Blade making out with a guy.
“Oh, geez, sorry!” I say, springing back.
That’s when Blade and her new paramour sit up on her bed and I see, with a start, that she’s been sucking face with Samir.
I must look completely shocked because Blade says,
“Hello? You didn’t see this coming for three semesters?”
Samir, who’s a little embarrassed at being caught, manages to rally enough to add, “Sorry, Miranda. I know you secretly had the hots for me, but I’m afraid I’m all about Goth this year.”
I don’t even register his joke. I’m too stunned.
“But…what about Hana?” I ask, thinking that she had a secret crush on Samir for ages.
“We’re just friends,” Samir says. “She’s the one who told me to…” His face goes red. “Well, you know.”
“Yeah, I did,” Hana says, appearing next to me in the hall. “And I so do not have a crush on Samir, for the record. He’s strictly friend material, I swear. But I didn’t trust Blade to treat him the right way since she’s pretty fickle about sticking with guys—no offense, Blade.”
“Right, none taken,” she says.
“But then I got to know her better and decided she was a perfect match for Samir. So I told him he ought to go for it.”
“I am completely confused.”
“Yeah, I know,” Hana says, patting my arm sympathetically. “You thought you were the only one with a complicated love life.”
Blade throws her arm around Samir, whose lips are covered with dark smudges from black Goth lipstick.
“I hate to be rude, but, uh, don’t you guys have somewhere else to be?”
Outside the bell tolls, signaling free period. My parents! I’m late to meet them.
“Unfortunately, yes,” I say. “Gotta go face the firing squad.”
On the steps of my dorm, I nearly trip over Ryan, who’s waiting there, backpack over one shoulder.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says as he falls in step beside me.
“I’m fine,” I say. “And by the way, thank you for looking after my sister. You really saved her out there.”
Ryan blushes and looks away. “Oh, it was nothing.”
We walk in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.
“Listen, I know you have a thing for Heathcliff,” Ryan starts. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious.”
I look down, not meeting his eyes.
“But I think maybe, I dunno, maybe there is still something between us. What do you think?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t you feel it?” he asks me.
Ryan is gorgeous, no question. His blue eyes are staring a hole straight through me. But do I want to be his girlfriend? I just don’t think so. It’s Heathcliff I want. And Heathcliff I can’t have.
“I just don’t think it will work,” I say, shaking my head.
Ryan nods, as if expecting this answer. I’m surprised he’s taking this so well, but then again, I guess it was pretty obvious to him how I felt on the Pequod. I look up and see we’re almost at Headmaster B’s office. Lindsay is waiting for us, tapping her foot impatiently.
“I understand,” he says. “But you know, if you change your mind…” he trails off. And before he can say more, Lindsay speaks.
“Miranda! You’re late.” Lindsay looks annoyed. She glances shyly at Ryan. “You can’t expect me to face them alone!”
“Our parents are here,” I tell Ryan, who looks disappointed that our conversation is ending.
“Well, good luck, okay?” he says to us both.
“Thanks, I’ll need it,” I tell him as he turns and walks back across campus. He gives me one last backward glance before continuing on his way.
As I swing open the door to the faculty hall, I nearly collide with Parker, who’s hobbling out on crutches. Her eyes narrow in annoyance when she sees me.
“Parker! What are you doing here?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Just setting the record straight,” she says, playing innocent.
I’m starting to get nervous now. There’s no telling what Parker said in there.
“What did you say?” Lindsay demands.
“Well, let’s just say that I told the truth. My version. Like how Miranda was the one who led us into the woods and that the entire thing was her idea and she’s the one who recklessly endangered us all.” She looks down at her hurt leg. “So she’s the one responsible for my ankle. It was lucky we weren’t killed because of her.”
“But that’s not true!” Lindsay exclaims.
I glance at her, surprised. It’s not like her to stick up for me. I would’ve thought she’d be glad Parker paved the way for her to scapegoat me—again.
“Parker, I only went in the woods because I was worried about my sister,” I say. “And you went because you wanted to keep an eye on Ryan.”
Parker stares at m
e a long moment. “Well, it’s your word against mine,” she says finally. She hobbles past us and out the door. You’d think that the near-death experience we shared would’ve helped us bond, but as far as I can tell, Parker is as evil as ever.
Twenty-nine
“I can’t believe I was ever friends with her,” Lindsay says, shaking her head. Then she looks at me. “So you really were worried about me?”
“Of course, you dummy,” I say. “You’re my sister. Even if you are totally annoying almost all the time.”
“And you came after me, even though you knew Parker was probably going to tell on you and you were going to get detention or worse.”
“I wasn’t going to let you wander around these haunted woods all by yourself. I had to do something to try to help you. I mean, that’s what sisters do.”
Lindsay falls silent a moment.
“Not that it matters,” I say. “Mom and Dad are going to kill me anyway. I’m going to end up going to juvenile jail, just like Dad always says.”
Lindsay sends me a sidelong look, then falls silent. We’re in front of Headmaster B’s door and I take a deep breath before I step inside. Headmaster B isn’t anywhere to be seen, but that doesn’t mean she’s not lurking around somewhere. But my parents—both of them—are waiting. I haven’t seen them in the same room since they were fighting over the divorce settlement.
Mom squeals and runs to Lindsay immediately, putting her in a big premenopausal Mom hug, and Dad follows suit with his own version of a hug. The two actually overlap arms in order to hug their favorite daughter. Neither one seems particularly concerned about me.
“God, are you all right? We were worried sick about you,” Mom says, wiping away tears as she pulls herself away from the hug.
“They told us there were bears in the woods,” Dad says. He even looks a little choked up. “And cougars! You could have been seriously hurt.”
I can’t believe this. I’m standing right here and I was in the woods, too. But neither one seems to care. Headmaster B drifts into the office then. I look at her, but can’t tell what she’s thinking. Her face is set in a carefully neutral expression. I wonder if Coach H managed to tell her everything that happened.
Dad turns his gaze to me.
“And you, young lady,” he says in his most stern voice. “I thought we told you to look after your sister.”
Yeah, I’m the one almost eaten by a giant whale and I get the lecture. Figures.
“Yeah, well, I thought you weren’t supposed to be a walking cliché, but I guess we’re both wrong,” I say, referring to the fact that he ran off with not one, but two secretaries.
Dad’s face goes red.
“That has nothing to do with this,” he says, his eyes flicking to Headmaster B, wondering if she gets the reference. I turn to her to make sure she does.
“My dad likes to change wives as often as he changes his ties,” I tell her. “And he always goes for his secretaries because, apparently, he’s not even computer literate enough to use Match.com.”
“That’s enough, young lady,” Mom pipes in. Figures she’d defend him. She always defends him, even though he’s the one clearly in the wrong.
Both Mom and Dad are fuming now. This is why I am not the favorite.
Dad clears his throat and changes the subject.
“I’ve been talking with your mother about this and I think it’s only fair that something be done about your reckless behavior,” my dad continues. “We’ve looked into a number of ways to deal with this and we think maybe a juvenile detention center might be best.”
“Dad…” Lindsay says, speaking for the first time.
Okay, here she goes. She’s going to put the nail in my coffin. This is where she talks about how it really is all my fault because I told her to go into the woods, or because I tricked her into it, or I pressured her, or was just basically a bad sister. And then, just for good measure, she’ll tell both Mom and Dad that she thinks they’re both great role models and that I have it all wrong.
“It’s not Miranda’s fault,” Lindsay says.
I do a double take. Literally. Did she just say it’s not my fault? Is this Opposite Day and no one told me?
Both Mom and Dad seem slow on the uptake. They look at Lindsay as if she has to be mistaken.
“But the other student—Parker—told us that this was all Miranda’s plan. That she pressured you into doing this,” Mom says.
“Mom!” I whine. I can’t believe she took Parker at her word! “Why are you so gullible? You can’t believe anything Parker says, she’s a lying, conniving—”
“That’s enough!” Dad thunders. “Miranda, don’t talk back to your mother.”
“I wasn’t talking back. I was defending myself, there’s a dif—”
“You say one more word and we’re yanking you out of this school right now,” Dad interrupts, his face red. God, I really hate him sometimes.
“Um, hello!” Lindsay shouts, trying to be heard. “As I was saying, it’s not Miranda’s fault. It’s mine.”
What? Lindsay admitting guilt? Did some alien kidnap my sister and replace her with some robot clone? Because the real Lindsay would never admit to wrong-doing under any circumstances.
“Surely you don’t mean that,” Dad says.
“Would you guys just listen for a second? Geez,” Lindsay says, blowing hair out of her face in frustration. “Going into the woods was my idea, okay? Miranda didn’t know anything about it. And when she found out what I did, she came after me to try to rescue me, even though it was dangerous and against Bard rules, because…” Lindsay pauses a little and sends me a knowing look. “Because that’s what sisters do.”
I’m stunned. And really touched at the same time. Despite being such a pain in the butt most of the time, I guess Lindsay really is a good sister. And she has done me a huge favor by fessing up for once.
“Well, this changes everything,” Mom says.
“Hmpf,” Dad grunts.
“And another thing, about driving through Carmen’s store,” Lindsay says. “Miranda never told me to do that. And it wasn’t her bad influence, either. It was my mistake.”
“I see,” Mom says, looking back and forth between the two of us.
“Hmpf,” Dad grunts again. He doesn’t like it when Lindsay admits guilt and he has to focus his anger somewhere else besides me. I’m such an easy target.
Lindsay and I stare at our parents for a long minute, waiting to see what they say next. They could decide to send us both to jail. Or they could take us both home. Or, who knows? I could be banished back to In the Puke.
Mom looks at Dad, who seems to be turning a lot of bright colors, none of which seem healthy. “Hmpf,” he says again.
“I think what your father is trying to say is that you’ve both learned your lessons,” comes the calming voice of Headmaster B. “I think it’s clear by Lindsay’s more mature act of taking responsibility for her actions that Bard has been a good influence on her. And Miranda’s strong sense of responsibility for her sister is evident in the fact that she risk life and limb to help her once she realized Lindsay was in trouble.”
Both Mom and Dad still look a little shell-shocked, but they glance down at Headmaster B (who’s barely four feet tall) and seem to register what she’s saying.
“You’re saying, then, that we should do nothing?” Dad barks. “That they’ve learned their lesson?” He’s gritting his teeth, which means he clearly wants to punish us, and punish us badly.
“What I’m saying, Mr. Tate, is that these girls have a lot of growing to do and Bard Academy can help them accomplish that,” Headmaster B says. “It’s already working wonders for them, and a continuation of a strict regimen of study will help both of them become more focused. By staying at Bard, I think the two of them will benefit greatly.”
“Hmpf,” Dad grunts. He’s still not able to form words.
“I think that’s a splendid idea,” Mom says, agreeing. Of course she does. S
he’s easily persuaded by any figure of authority. For once, I’m glad about this.
“I thought you would like it,” Headmaster B says. “I should also say that many of our faculty members think Miranda is making splendid progress. Some of them think she may have a great talent as a future writer.”
“Yes!” Lindsay shouts, pumping her fist. “I get to stay!” Realizing her reaction was very inappropriate, she quickly becomes somber. She isn’t supposed to be excited about the prospect of staying on another semester at a delinquent boarding school. “Er, I mean, yes, I’ll have a lot of time to reflect on my mistakes at Bard,” she adds, trying to look dejected.
“Ahem,” Headmaster B says, clearing her throat. “Well, girls, I think you can head back to your dorm rooms. Your parents and I have a few more things to discuss.”
Thirty
“Thanks for that,” I tell Lindsay as we walk back to our dorms.
“Hey, whatever,” she says, shrugging. “I only did it because I wanted to stay and I figured Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me unless you were here, too.”
“Figures,” I say, giving Lindsay a playful nudge. “But you saved me from juvie jail anyway and I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it,” Lindsay says. “And if you really want to repay me, you won’t tell Mom and Dad about my broken retainer, either. They would totally flip.”
“Secret’s safe with me,” I say, crossing my heart. “So you’re going to stay away from Parker Rodham, right? She’s bad news.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lindsay says. “I’m not totally clueless, you know.”
“You know, you don’t need friends like her to be popular,” I say. “You’re already pretty cool all on your own.”
“I am?” Lindsay says, brightening for the first time and really smiling. I realize that she does care about what I think. Maybe more than I know.
“Of course you are,” I say.
We smile at each other and I have to wonder if maybe Lindsay was so hostile to me all this time because she actually wanted my approval and just never got it.
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