That first night out of Red Rock, I was too sore to plan for anything in the way of shelter, so we slept beneath a row of shrubbery. With Terrac sleeping at my back, I was reminded of the nights we spent in our pine bough shelter last spring. Only then, it had been he who suffered. I didn’t like the sense of our places being changed.
It rained that night.
The following day found the skies clear again. By mid-afternoon the sogginess had gone from the ground, but our clothing remained miserably damp throughout the day. We did very little except sitting about, sulking and arguing over whether we should return to Red Rock. In the end, I won out and we stayed. We fared better the next night because the weather was warm and dry. By this time I was in good enough condition the two of us were able to climb a stout tree to sleep in. We braced ourselves in the branches, where I passed a comfortable night, although Terrac still looked weary in the morning. He was unaccustomed to sleeping among the green leaves and said he scarcely closed his eyes all night for fear of falling to the ground in his sleep.
We consumed the last of our food on that second day. Terrac went off in search of more, but I lacked the inclination to join him. My mind was still on Rideon and my disgrace. It was no surprise when Terrac returned with nothing more than a handful of berries, although I had lent him my hunting knife. If I knew Terrac, he passed up all sorts of fox dens and rabbit holes because he hadn’t the heart to kill anything. I had sunk into such depression I didn’t even bother mocking him.
I hardly cared that I huddled down to sleep on an empty stomach that night, having let Terrac keep his scant meal to himself. They were bitter-berries, a fact I didn’t bother sharing with him. Instead, I enjoyed a faint satisfaction each time I heard him wake during the night to vomit up the contents of his stomach. Those frequent interruptions made it difficult for me to find sleep, however. I lay half-reclined among the branches for a long time, staring into the shadows of the leaves overhead. As I listened to the creaks and rustles of the branches below and to the subsequent sounds of the priest boy disgorging his meal, I wondered how much longer I could hold out before giving up my wounded pride and returning to Red Rock. I tried to imagine what Brig and Dradac and the others would be doing back in camp right now. Eventually, I slipped off to sleep.
* * * * *
Gentle hands woke me to the cold, grey light of early dawn. It was still more night than day, and I didn’t understand why I was being awakened so early. Mama bent over my pillow, the sweeping ends of her silvery hair brushing my face.
She whispered, “Come, little chickling. Don’t make a sound.” A strange excitement lit her eyes. I asked no questions but slipped out of bed, exclaiming softly as my small feet touched the cold, dirt floor. Mama pressed a warning finger to her lips, casting an anxious glance into the shadows across the room where Da slept.
She had already collected my things and now she moved silently, helping me slip a dress over my head and pull warm stockings up my legs. She was dressed to go out as well and over her shoulder she carried a canvas sack with a loaf of bread peeking out of its mouth. I was curious where we went in such a hurry it would be necessary to eat along the way, but I kept quiet.
There was urgency in Mama’s eyes and in the quick movements of her hands as she sat me on the floor and tugged on my ragged shoes. I scarcely had time to pull my feet under me again before she took me by the shoulders and guided me quickly through the semidarkness and out the doorway.
The farmyard, illuminated by the faint morning light, stood empty before us. I stole a glance back over my shoulder to where Da lay, snoring loudly in the big bed. Mama and I exchanged conspiratorial smiles as we silently abandoned the little cottage and slipped into the grey world outside. Mama transferred her grip to my hand and led me across the yard, away from the cottage. Stealthily, we veered behind the barn and into the shadow of the plum trees. I felt a surge of excitement because I sensed whatever was happening was forbidden and secret—an adventure.
We crossed the farmyard and topped the ridge, pausing to look down on the sleepy cottage below. Only then did I feel both our moods lighten. On the far side of the ridge lay the neighboring village, but Mama didn’t lead me down that way. I had only a brief glimpse of the low cluster of flat roofs before we moved on. We climbed a steeper hill, then descended its slope into another valley, where a narrow road snaked along its base. Once we were on the road, Mama finally allowed me a slightly slower pace, but I still had difficulty matching her quick strides.
“It is a long way to Journe’s Well,” she told me apologetically. “We need to arrive before the sun is high.” She gave no more explanation than that.
By the time the sky had changed from morning’s grey to a pale blue, I had begun to miss my breakfast. Mama swung the sack around from her shoulder and broke off a chunk of bread for us both. We ate while we walked. Very soon after, my feet began to hurt. Mama lifted me onto her thin shoulders and carried me for a time, but we both soon wearied of that and I walked again.
Mama seemed to grow more agitated the farther we traveled. I sensed whatever mysterious adventure lay ahead frightened as much as it excited her. She began talking after a while, more to herself than to me. I comprehended little of her words. She told me we were making this trek to Journe’s Well to catch a glimpse of the Praetor’s soldiers, camped there on their journey back from the North. They had served the provinces for years, fending giants from our borders and were at last free to return home. These men, the Iron Fists, were the bravest soldiers of our province and were led by the son of the old Praetor himself, she explained.
I barely listened to her words. I couldn’t see how the Praetor, his son, or their soldiers had anything to do with me. Why should I be interested in people I’d never met? Now, if any of the Praetor’s men could ride Carp Wildtooth’s meanest bull, well, that would be a thing worth hearing about.
We reached Journe’s Well late in the morning. Although we didn’t approach very near, I could see even at a distance that the camp bustled with activity. Some men were striking tents and loading supplies onto horses and pack animals. Other soldiers were already mounting their horses. Mama told me they would march to Selbius today, where folk would line up in the streets to watch them pass. In the city, feasts would be thrown for a week to celebrate their return. This sounded very grand to me and I wished I could see it, but Mama said we could not journey so far today. She looked as if she regretted it as much as I did.
Circling the camp, we kept at a distance. No one saw us or, if they did, they didn’t care that their movements were spied on by a silver-haired peasant woman and a small child. There was an outcropping of rock at the base of a craggy hill overlooking the Well, and it was to this we moved, scaling the pile until we could look down on the evacuating camp without being observed.
Mama leaned forward, scanning the ground below. I wondered what she expected to find amid all the activity of rushing men and stamping horses. Then, “There,” she muttered softly. Turning to me, she asked, “Do you see that man, chickling?” She directed my attention to a darkly handsome young man mounted atop a war steed. He had an aura of power that made him stand out from the other soldiers and his black armor and horse were finer than any of those around him.
I shivered, for the sight of the dark man touched something deep within me, awakening a fear I could find no cause for. At the moment I looked down on him his head was tilted back as he drank deeply from a water skin. At his heels a young lad sat a gray gelding and held aloft a pennant depicting a rearing black bear against a field of scarlet. I watched the soldier finish his drink and toss the skin to the boy. Then, as if suddenly sensing my eyes on him, the dark man looked up. I ducked out of sight, seized for a moment by the foolish fear he had read my thoughts, felt the curious connection between us that I did. But no, when I peered down on him again, he had already looked away.
“Did you see his face, little one?” Mama asked me.
I said I did, remembering that
harsh profile with the tight mouth and long, hawkish nose.
“That man will be very great one day. I brought you here to look at him because he is going to be important in the future. Do you understand?”
I said I did because it was what she appeared to want. I wondered if she, too, felt the power I sensed emanating from the dark soldier. It was one of what she called her ‘talents’—her magical abilities. She saw people’s inner qualities—their hidden virtues and vices.
We remained hidden among the rocks for what felt like a very long time. I quickly grew bored and, when Mama wasn’t looking, nibbled on bits of bread and cheese from our sack. The sun rose higher in the sky. It was hot, crouching where the bright rays beat down on the rocks. We didn’t leave until the camp was emptied and the last of the dust had settled after the soldier’s horses. Then we crept down from our spot.
As I clambered back down the rocks, I stepped on a patch of loose pebbles and slipped. Mama was too far ahead to catch me, so I fell, spilling headfirst down the hill. A sharp chunk of rock sliced my arm on the way. Then I hit the ground.
* * * * *
With a start I sat up in the darkness, nearly tumbling out of my tree.
“Mama?” I called. Of course she didn’t answer. Had I really expected her to? I lifted my sleeve and felt the ridged scar along my forearm, where I’d clipped the rock during my tumble. It was an old injury and I’d never been able to remember how I’d gotten it. Until tonight.
I leaned back against the tree again and closed my eyes, attempting to shake my mother’s image from my mind. I scarcely thought of her anymore. I felt uneasy, knowing she could still creep into my dreams after all this time. Was the magic trying to tell me something? I shook my head. That was ridiculous. The incident meant nothing. Neither Mama nor I had ever spoken again of our secret journey or of the dark man under the black-and-scarlet pennant. Strange that I should relive the incident now, but then I supposed it was no stranger than any of the other wild things folk dreamed about.
I tried to go back to sleep, but remnants of the dream clung to my mind. The dark soldier’s face was as fresh in my memory as if it were only yesterday I’d seen him. I wondered who he was and why he was important, and the wondering kept me awake the rest of the night. I had a growing conviction that if I could ever tie together the loose ends of all my scattered memories, I might make sense of the mysteries of my past.
As the early light of dawn crept over us, I decided I could bear it no longer. I reached below and awakened Terrac with a rough shake of the twin branches he sprawled over. He woke with a start, tumbling from his perch. Luckily, we weren’t far from the ground and a convenient cluster of shrubbery saved him from a nasty landing. He wasn’t too kindly disposed toward me after that and even less so when I told him why I’d stirred him. It was one of the few times I managed to ruffle his placid disposition.
“You wake me at dawn’s first light and drop me from a tree so I can run and fetch for you?” he demanded in disbelief.
“I need the parcel now,” I explained patiently. “I’ve told you how to retrieve it and I don’t intend to waste the morning arguing, so away with you. And be quick about it or I’ll be forced to set you in your place. Again.”
Waving a dismissive hand in the direction of Red Rock, I lay back in my lofty perch to gaze into the leafy green branches above. A pinecone was lobbed past my head, but I ignored it.
My companion grumbled, a low string of phrases unworthy of a priest, but eventually the crackle of sticks and the rustle of underbrush told me he was walking away. I wondered absently if he would bother to return, then decided even if he didn’t, at least I was finally rid of him.
It was hours before I saw him again. He still had a grim set to his mouth and an offended air about him as he set the required parcel at the base of the tree and shouted up that if I wanted it, I could come down and get it.
Ignoring his injured attitude, I scrambled down, snatching up the leather-wrapped package.
“What took you so long?” I demanded. “Get lost along the way?”
“Yes,” he said sullenly. “You knew I would. I can’t tell one of these rotten trees from another.”
I sat down, my back against the tree trunk, to unwrap my bundle. Stripping away the oiled strips of leather I had wrapped it in for protection, I held the brooch in my hands. When I flipped it over, the tiny letters etched across the back looked just as I remembered them. They seemed less strange to me now that I had practiced writing a bit myself, but I was still not familiar enough with the letters to sound them all out. Irritated, I thrust the brooch at my companion. “Here. Tell me what this says.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Read it yourself.”
“You know I cannot,” I answered testily.
“I know that you could learn if you wanted to badly enough.”
“But at this moment I cannot,” I emphasized, as if speaking to a child. “You already read, while for me it will take months, if not years, to learn.” I shook the brooch at him. “This pin was given me by my dead mother, who claimed it held the secret to protecting me. Maybe this writing will give me some clue as to what she meant.”
He folded his arms, unmoved. “Then you’d better start attending your lessons. Now there’s something you’re suddenly eager to read, you’ll work twice as hard at your letters. Coincidentally, as Brig grows impatient with your lack of progress, your renewed efforts will spare me a beating from him. Let us consider that to be your good deed for the year.”
“I’m not the priest,” I reminded him sourly.
“Neither am I. Or have you forgotten?”
“Yes,” I said. “You lie so convincingly it’s easy to forget the truth.”
I saw his confidence falter. “I don’t lie,” he said. “If I’ve allowed Rideon to mislead himself, it’s only because I don’t care to be murdered.”
Before I could slip in a cutting remark, he changed the subject. “But never mind that. Let’s speak of your problem. I’ll make you a bargain. If you’re willing to redouble your efforts and pay attention to what I teach you, I promise I’ll have you reading by winter. Come now, that isn’t far off.”
I leaned forward. “Now I’ll make you an offer. You tell me right this moment what the writing on the brooch says or I’ll tell Rideon you’re not really a priest.”
Terrac winced but held his ground. “Tell Rideon I’m not a priest and I’ll tell everyone how he knocked the feathers out of you.”
I knew he was waiting to bring that up. I sank back in defeat. “You win, priest boy.” I conceded ungraciously. What choice did I have? Terrac was a fair teller of tales and too honest to skim over details. I knew by the time he finished the story, I’d be a laughing stock around the outlaw camp.
“Good,” he said now. “We’ll give up this sulking nonsense and return to Red Rock first thing tomorrow morning, where we will resume your lessons.”
Too dispirited to object, I nodded dumbly, returned the brooch to its protective leather wrapping and tucked it into my tunic.
* * * * *
But as it turned out, we didn’t wait for the following morning to return to Red Rock. Brig found us that very afternoon. The purposeful way he strode into our little camp told me he hadn’t found us by accident. I ground my teeth. Obviously, Terrac had talked to him. I should have known better than to send the priest boy back to camp for the brooch. Brig stood silently before us and looked me up and down.
“Sorry,” Terrac mumbled. “He caught me and threatened to beat it out of me. He knew something was wrong when you stayed away so long.”
I could see by Brig’s lack of reaction to my battered face that he already knew what happened. Yet another thanks I owed Terrac. I was relieved at least when he asked no questions.
“Let us see the damage, Ilan,” he said, turning my face to examine the bruises. “Nothing serious,” he observed. “But you should’ve come back earlier and let me clean up these little cuts. For that matter
, you’d have done better to avoid a fight with the Hand in the first place. Still, a beating is nothing to be ashamed of. Sulking about it, though, that’s another matter. Hiding away from camp only makes you look like a weakling.”
It stung that Brig, of all people, would kick me while I was down. That was why I said, “You ran away to hide in the forest when your Netta left you and took your sons. Maybe that’s why she went—she didn’t want to be married to a coward. I’m not surprised you’ve nothing to say to me about standing up for myself in a fight but criticize me instead for failing to run from one. When have you ever stood your ground for anything?”
Even as I said it, the unwanted memory flashed through my mind of Brig withstanding Rideon’s orders to protect a little orphaned girl. Right away I could have bitten my tongue out, but it was too late to call the words back.
Brig’s eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and pain. I thought if he hit me I would deserve it. I heard Terrac clearing his throat and backing away. But Brig wasn’t going to let me off so easily. He took a long breath and it was a moment before he spoke.
“You’ve developed a sharp tongue, Ilan,” he observed quietly. “I think I liked you better when you were that silent little hound.”
Filled with remorse, I tried to apologize. “I’m sorry, Brig. I don’t know why I said that. It wasn’t true.”
He held up a hand. “Never mind. If you feel you owe me an apology, you can make it up by coming back to camp. Stop skulking around out here like a petulant child I have to be ashamed of.”
“Alright.” My voice was heavy with regret, but if Brig noticed, it didn’t soften him. Terrac and I followed him back to Red Rock where I faced an unpleasant handful of days to follow.
* * * * *
The bruises on my face attracted a certain amount of attention back at camp and a few of the outlaws asked if I’d stuck my face into a badger’s den. I told myself they meant no harm with their jokes and that for every man who remarked on my battered countenance, there were just as many who appeared not to notice it at all. Still, I knew everyone had heard my story and that was deeply humiliating.
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