After our hallway brawl, all three of us left the hospital to speak in private. We had already put on a large enough show, and we didn’t want to call any more attention to ourselves.
“Mason, I need to see Nicolette. She needs to know that I’m here.”
“Jack, after the way you just behaved up in there, you are in no shape to see her. You need to calm down, and let us take care of our daughter.”
“No, Mason, that’s where you’re wrong, Nickel is as much my daughter as she is yours. I have played it your way all these years, and today we are going to do it my way. You failed her, but I will not. I never should have agreed to let you take her here to this place! She would have been fine had she stayed with me and Sara. You insisted that she would be okay out here and that you would always protect her.”
“Jack, she has been protected from the minute I held her in my arms. What happened to Nicolette was beyond my control. I had only now just found out what was going on the night she was raped.”
“That is bullshit, Mason! Where the hell were you? How could you be so oblivious to what was going on in Nicolette’s life? Beyond your control…my ass! You’re her father, for God sakes, and yet you did nothing! Why, Mason? Explain it to me! Why didn’t you protect our girl? Was it because you were too busy with your career!?! I should take her back to Chicago, with her real family!” I taunted him with a vileness in my tone.
“Please, Jack, stop this,” Christina was pleading with me. “Blaming Mason will not change what happened to Nicolette. Please don’t reveal the truth to her. She has been put through hell. I don’t know if she has the strength to take another shock to her system. Jack, I am begging for you to wait and give us time to explain it to her.”
I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.
“Christina, you have had nothing but time—eighteen years to be exact—and I will not wait any longer. I will seek justice for Nicolette, my way.”
“No, Jack. Please don’t go after Michael. How will that help her if you’re in jail?”
“Don’t worry about me, Christina. I will do whatever it takes to right this wrong for my daughter. You sure as hell can count on that.”
“That’s your answer for everything, right Jack? Hit first, think later. The police are taking care of Michael, so you need to stay out of it.” Mason screamed at me and pounded his fists to the wall beside my head.
That took balls, but I would not be deterred to why I was really there. I then leaned into Mason and quietly spoke to him so his wife could not hear what I was about to say. There was nothing more important than family, and it painfully hurt me to remind my brother of that fact.
“Remember who you are, brother. Papa may have changed our names, but that doesn’t change who we are and where we come from. You, Massimo Anthony Vanelli, remember who you are. Stop hiding! Stop running! Remember who you are!”
Stepping back from me with a calm expression on his chiseled features, he turned to Christina. She was trembling in his arms.
“Honey, will you please give me a moment alone with my brother?”
“Are you sure that is a good idea?” she questioned.
“I’m sure. Please go sit with our daughter, and I’ll be along soon.”
“Come with me, please?” she pleaded, pulling at his arm to make him follow.
She was afraid, and I couldn’t blame her for fearing me. I knew how I sounded, and I could only imagine how I looked to her.
“Christina, go to Nicolette, now! You were the one that called him here, and now I have to deal with this.”
I watched my brother change before me. I knew he already regretted his harsh tone with his wife. He watched her turn away from him with tears in her eyes. Once she was out of sight, he turned back to me.
“Jack…”
“I don’t want to hear it, Mason. There is nothing you can say to me right now that will change my mind. That fucker has to die!”
“Jack, I get that your first instinct is to want justice for Nicolette by causing harm to her rapist, but you are not thinking clearly right now. Remember who you are, Jack. The man that is standing before me right now is not Johnny’s guy anymore. This hit-first-and-ask-later approach may have been your way in the past, but you let that go a long time ago. Don’t let this bring you back to a world that you never belonged in.”
I hit the wall and then turned to slide down it. I looked up at my brother.
“What do you know about my old life? You were just a kid who followed me around like a lost puppy.”
“I know enough, Jack, and I know you got caught up in a life that you didn’t want, but you lived it until you had a chance to break free from it.”
“I couldn’t stand how hard mama and papa worked. They always kept saying that they worked this way for us and we will understand one day. I never did, and then Johnny asked me to do him a favor. All I had to do was make some deliveries for him when he asked me to. I would get paid, and paid well, he said. How could I refuse the money? He said, ‘No one would get hurt. Just make the deliveries and report back to me.’ I did it with no questions asked, and Johnny always kept his word.”
“It wasn’t just deliveries, Jack, was it? They always wanted more from you, and you had no choice but to do what they asked of you.”
“Mason, you make it sound like I was a hired gun. I think your imagination is running wild.”
“You can play it off as much as you want, Jack, but I know you were their muscle when they needed someone to be taught a lesson. Don’t lie to me, Jack…I saw you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. It was the night that I had my concert at school. Mama was sick, and papa was working late. You promised them that you would take me and be there while I performed my solo piece, but you never showed up, because Johnny had yet another ‘errand’ for you to run. When you finally got home, I saw your bloodied knuckles, and as much as you tried to hide it from mama and papa…they knew, Jack. I knew, Jack! I hated you at that moment, because I know what you did to Mikey Marino. That poor kid never walked again, Jack, because you did Johnny a favor.”
“I’m so sorry, Mason. I didn’t know any better back then. I never meant to have you disappointed in me, but I was just trying to make a better life for our family. I knew I was in over my head after that, and I went to Johnny and asked to be let go. He laughed at first and said no, but then I stood there with no fear and asked again. He said…no man ever asked him this and lived to tell about it, but I was different and he always knew this day would come. He did let me go but always promised to have my back, and if I ever needed anything, I could come to him or any one of the guys in the crew.”
“Jack, you are a better man now, and maybe I didn’t always see it growing up, but I do now. You are my brother, and I love you. Please don’t let what happened to Nicolette bring you back to those dark days. Think of Sara, who loves you, and think of how she makes you better every day.”
“That’s a low blow, Mason, even for you.”
“Jack, I’m not trying to hurt you, but you need to see that as much as you’re angry about what happened to her, you can’t let this insanity become your life again. I want to rip that boy apart with my bare hands, but it won’t change anything and will cause more hurt for Nicolette. We need to be here for her now and not let this separate us. Please, Jack…I’m begging you. Let the police handle this, and stay out of it. Can you do that? If not for me, then for Nicolette and Sara?”
Walking away from my brother that day was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. He broke me down piece by piece and wasn’t even sorry for it. I knew he would say just about anything to protect his family and keep me from hurting them even more, but I didn’t start this…that animal did. And I couldn’t harness the overwhelming feeling that I needed to finish it.
“Hey, you’re back,” I heard her call out from behind the bar.
My angel. My moral compass. That�
�s what she was. Goodness radiated off of her, and anyone who met her could see what I have known all of my time loving her: Sara was light. I didn’t deserve her, this I knew, but she was here with me and never once left my side.
I was the one always leaving her. I ran from our life when I heard about Nicolette. I shut her out and didn’t allow her to console me, but I lost that battle and she came to me anyway. She wouldn’t allow me to fall and lose myself to the pain that I was feeling. She knew who she married but also trusted that I would never hurt her. Her faith in me was astounding. I tried every day to live up to my vows and be an honorable man who was worthy of her.
I placed the bags down onto the bar and removed my hat, coat, and gloves. Sara practically leaped into my arms, and kissed my cold cheeks. “Wow! How long were you out there? Jack, you left hours ago. You must be frozen down to your bones.”
God! I loved this woman.
I kissed her passionately and held her close to me. “How about we go upstairs, and you warm me up?” I asked her with a hope that she would agree.
“I was thinking more on the lines of a brandy. Don’t tempt me, Jack! There’s a big game on today, and you know this place is going to be packed to the seams with customers. We have to prep and get ready to open.”
“Let the staff take care of the prep today. I need you, Sara. Please let me make love to you.”
I know how desperate I sounded, but I needed my wife to bring me back to the light. For days now, my mind had been retreating to a place I didn’t want to be, but no matter what I did, the nightmare was always there.
She never took her eyes off of mine. What was she looking for? I hope when she looked at me, she saw the love I had for her.
“Okay, take me upstairs.”
Sara led me from the main bar area to our private apartment upstairs. Our restaurant was two floors, but we had added a third floor to get away to. We practically lived here. Sara was our head chef, and my presence was always required out in the open. I had a great staff that took care of everything when we couldn’t be here, but it was to the point that we liked to be here. We were surrounded by our friends and customers who had been coming here since we opened. This was home, the only thing that was missing was Nicolette.
I was lost in my thoughts. Sara knew it but did everything to please me. She held my face in her small, delicate hands and said she would help me forget, if only for a little while. There were moments when I almost didn’t trust myself with Sara, afraid I may hurt her. She never denied me her touch. We made love for hours, and then we showered and went back to our bed, where I held her.
“Talk to me Jack, please. What can I do to help you?”
I didn’t answer her. I just tightened my hold on her and breathed her in. Just having her here with me was all I needed and forever wanted.
“We have to get up,” she said.
“Five more minutes.”
“Jack, I need to get back to my kitchen. Do you really trust the guys to make Sara’s famous Roof Top Burger?”
She buried her face to my chest and giggled.
“I love you, Sara. Please don’t you ever forget it.”
“I won’t, Jack, not ever.”
Her words put my restless mind at ease. We dressed and made our way down to our restaurant. Sure enough, it was a full house. Both sides were filled, and the pool area was lined with college kids knocking back beers and having a great time. I kissed Sara, and she made her way into the kitchen. Then I heard someone call out for me.
It was my longtime friend, Max, the one person who knew all my sins and then some. He stood up as I got closer and asked if we could speak privately. I checked in with Tommy, who was behind the bar and managing the crowd.
Everything seemed to be under control, and I led Max to my office. You couldn’t get more private than what I had built downstairs in the basement. It wasn’t convenient, but when I needed space, this was where I retreated to.
“You look good, my friend,” he said before lighting up a cigar.
I declined one and instead poured myself a drink.
“I have news for you, Jack, and it isn’t good.”
“I figured as much. You don’t have a great poker face, Max.”
I turned in my chair and opened the bottom door to my wall credenza, finding exactly what I needed to get through this conversation with Max.
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say, and you go for the hard stuff? Damn, Jack, that must have set you back at least a grand.”
“More like $1800 a bottle, but I didn’t buy this one. My brother sent it to me for Christmas.”
Bourbon wasn’t Max’s drink. I offered him something else from my bar, while I poured myself a glass of the 16 year aged A.H. Hirsch Reserve bourbon I kept for my private collection.
I readied myself for what Max was about to tell me. I had sent him to California to get me some intel on Michael. I didn’t like what I was hearing the last few months, so I sent Max to go directly to our sources. I’d kept tabs on St. Clair from the minute he was incarcerated for raping my daughter. His stay in prison had been monitored by me from the very beginning of his incarceration. I had dreamt up ways to make him suffer, but then I decided a different approach by keeping tabs on him. He should suffer—he deserves nothing, least of all protection—but judging by the way Max was looking at me, that might soon change. I was fortunate enough to have men on the inside who would do anything I asked of them.
“What do we know, Max?” I asked as I twirled the amber liquid in my glass.
“Like I said, Jack, it’s not good. It looks like our boy may be getting released early for good behavior. Word on the block is that he’s been shooting his mouth off about how money buys you everything, even out of prison. He met with his lawyers a few times last week, and he’s wrapped up a few of his side businesses he has going on up in there. What do you think? Sounds like he’s getting ready to pack up?”
I finished my drink, then shattered the glass against the desk. I had little jagged pieces embedded into my palm with droplets of blood trickling down to my wrist. Max went to hand me his handkerchief, but I declined it. Feeling pain was better than being numb. I needed this to remind me of all the pain that animal had caused our family. The promises I made to the ones I loved had broken me down over the years, piece by piece, to the point that I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Michael St. Clair should have never been allowed to live…it’s that simple.
Max was silent and gauging what I would say next. I finally snapped back from my dark place and cleaned up my hand. He poured me another drink and handed it to me.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Max, everything we don’t know, we need to know, and I mean yesterday. Gather me all that we have on the warden and his close knit circle. I need the layouts of the inside and outside perimeters of the prison. He’s not in maximum security, and from I already knew about the wing that he is housed in, it seems pretty easy to come and go.”
“Hey, Jack, what are you really asking me here? Come on, man! It’s not like we can just walk into a state prison and take this guy out.”
“And why not?” I heard the words spill from my mouth and wasn’t shocked by them at all.
Max appeared to be puzzled by what I was asking of him. This was a first, even for Max.
“Jack, if you want this guy taken out, then we can arrange it from the inside. It can happen in any place he has access to. Just say the word, and I will take care of this for you.”
“No! If anyone is going to take this piece of shit out, it’s going to be me. I need this, Max, more than you know.”
“I do know, my friend, but you don’t know what you’re asking. We all wondered why you didn’t take action back then, but it wasn’t our place to counsel you. We just needed to have your back. We will always be on your side for anything you need, but the family can’t allow you to do this. It’s too dangerous, and we can’t risk having the family compromised if anything were to go wrong. I’m sorr
y, Jack, but I can’t do what you are asking of me.”
“Max, what you seem to not realize is that I’m not asking the family for anything, nor do I want your help. I was simply asking for some information. If that is too much for you, then I will get it myself. Anything I decide when it comes to Michael St. Clair is on me, not the family. Do I make myself clear?”
“Jack…come on. You are not on your own here. You’re talking crazy right now.”
“No, my friend, I’ve never been clearer on anything in my life than at this moment. I’ve waited my time out. These years have not been easy to get through, but I did it with one vow on my mind. I will have my revenge on Michael St. Clair, and only then will justice be served. It doesn’t matter how long he has spent in prison. It will never be enough. He’s not remorseful; he never was. He said all the right things to the judge and has maintained to be the perfect inmate, but we know better Max, don’t we? This guy has quite the enterprise going on behind those walls, sides that we have created for him. He’s so fucking dense and arrogant that he never even figured it out. A pretty white boy from Beverly Hills goes in to a state prison for sexual assault…and doesn’t get touched? He should have been somebody’s bitch by now, if not just one, but many. And yet, he’s lived under the illusion that he’s untouchable and soon will be free.”
“Why, Jack? Why this guy? He should have been taken out the minute he laid his hands on your girl. No one is allowed to even breathe in his direction, because you gave an order for us not to. This is what we don’t understand,” Max said as he gestured over to my bar and fixed himself a drink.
“I had my reasons, Max.”
“Care to share them with me? I’m on your side, Jack. I just need to understand where your head is at right now? I mean this guy could be walking any day now. Once he’s out, you know his daddy is probably going to ship him off to parts unknown, and then we will lose any opportunity we once had to get to him.”
“Show me what you gathered from his cell.”
An Unfinished Life Page 12
