His hand fell away from her chin but he watched her carefully. “Yes?”
She gulped. “I wanted to apologize to you.”
His brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For being so…” She glanced away. “Awful.”
He blinked. “Awful?”
“I’ve acted so abominably…” She twisted her fingers in a circle around her opposite wrist. “I’ve been so foolish. I wouldn’t listen to you and all you’ve ever done was try to help me. I’m sorry.” She glanced down. “Thank you for everything.”
He tipped up her chin with his thumb and forefinger again. “Annie, you don’t owe me an apology.”
She pulled away, trembling. “Jordan, I—”
“Yes?”
She placed a hand on his sleeve. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. With Miss Dalton.”
His jaw went tight. “Who told you?”
“Lady Catherine.”
Jordan raked his fingers through his hair and groaned. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Don’t be angry with her. I asked her to tell me.”
He narrowed his eyes on her. “Why?”
She swallowed and glanced away. “Because I wanted to know … whom you’d fallen in love with. Once upon a time.”
Jordan’s jaw remained taut. His eyes gleamed silver in the moonlight filtering in from the windows high above. He reached out a hand and rubbed his fingers against her cheek. “You want to know about me, Annie? My past?”
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face. “Yes.”
“You have only to ask.”
She pressed her lips together tightly. “Is what happened … with Georgiana, I mean … is that the reason why you never want to marry?”
He pushed a curl behind her ear and Annie shivered. Then he dropped his hands from her face and paced away from her. “Annie, so young, so beautiful. I was like you once. I believed in things like true love, one and only love. I hate to admit it but I did. I believed in all of it. My life just happened to take a different course. And there were signs I should have seen. Things that indicated that Georgiana didn’t feel the same way I thought I felt for her.”
Annie swallowed past the lump that had grown in her throat. “Is that why you’ve been so set against my match with Arthur?”
Jordan turned to face her. “Believe me, if I thought he loved you the way you deserve to be loved, I’d wish you nothing but happiness with Eggleston.”
Annie glanced down at her gloved hands. Jordan was telling the truth. She knew it. Felt it in the tone of his voice, the way his intelligent eyes searched her face. It hurt to hear it, but Jordan had always been convinced that Arthur didn’t love her. And now she was convinced too. She nodded. All she could do was nod.
“Annie, listen to me. It has nothing to do with you. Eggleston just isn’t … capable of giving you what you want. Find someone who can, who will.”
She smiled a humorless smile. “You don’t truly think I can though, do you? You don’t think true love exists.”
He groaned again and raked his hands through his hair once more. “Don’t listen to me. What do I know? Besides, your sister and Colton are certainly a love match. It’s possible. It is.”
Annie gave him a skeptical look. “You’re doing your best to be positive in front of me. To not completely dash my naïve hopes.”
“No, I—”
“Don’t worry.” She moved over to him, placed a cold hand over his warm one and squeezed. “It wasn’t you. But you needn’t have bothered. My hopes were already dashed.” She gave a small smile and turned to leave.
“Annie.” His voice stopped her. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, funny. And I could beat your bloody father to a pulp for ever making you feel any differently.”
Her chin trembled. She took a deep breath. “Did your father ever say anything awful to you, Jordan?”
Jordan clenched his teeth and closed his eyes and Annie was suddenly struck. He had. His father had. She’d been so sure Jordan would say no.
She laid a hand on his sleeve. “It’s all right. You don’t have to—”
He opened his eyes and looked down at her. “I’ve never told anyone this before…”
She shook her head. “Jordan, don’t—”
“No. I want you to know.”
She nodded faintly, her arms crossed tightly over her middle.
“My father raised all of his sons to be strong, independent, to need no one. He was convinced a real man should be entirely self-sufficient.”
“And you are, Jordan, you’re so strong,” Annie breathed.
“Yes, but I disagreed with my father when it came to marriage. I was convinced I’d find someone who loved me. For me.”
“Don’t tell me…” Annie looked away, her heart aching for the young man who Jordan had once been.
“‘Your title and your fortune,’ my father said, ‘are what will attract a wife. A marriage is a business arrangement. Nothing more. And you’d do well to remember that.’”
Annie expelled her breath, tears filling her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jordan.”
“It was the one thing I didn’t listen to my father about. The only thing. And the biggest mistake I ever made.”
“No, Jordan, no.” She reached out and grabbed his arms just above the elbows. “You were open, honest, loving. You didn’t make a mistake. She did.” And Annie realized in that moment how truly loving and caring Jordan was, even though he didn’t want anyone to know it.
Jordan shook his head then and the faraway look left his eyes. He was done discussing the past. “You deserve someone who sees and appreciates you,” he said. “Someone much better than Eggleston.”
She lifted her chin and let her hands drop away from him. “You’re right.”
“But you don’t believe that man exists now, do you?”
Annie shook her head. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” She took a shaky breath. “What’s wrong with me, Jordan?”
The skin around his eyes crinkled into a frown. “Wrong with you?”
Annie clenched her eyes shut. “Arthur doesn’t want me. None of your brothers even want me. And I—”
Jordan squeezed her shoulders. “Nothing, do you hear me? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Eggleston is an idiot and so are all of my brothers.”
Annie reopened her eyes and smiled a wan smile. “It’s nice of you to say so.” She pulled away from him and stepped toward the door. “Good night.”
She’d only taken two steps when Jordan swung her around and pulled her into his arms. “Annie,” he breathed, just before he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her mouth to his.
* * *
For Jordan, the feel of Annie’s mouth on his was like inviting a starving man to a banquet. For a horrible moment, he thought she would push him away. He wouldn’t blame her. What in the hell did he think he was doing? Breaking every single rule of friendship, common sense, and chaperonage, that was what. But for the life of him, he could not stop. And then there was her response. Her slight hands had climbed up into his hair. She’d threaded one set of fingers across the back of his neck.
He pushed her lips apart and slipped his tongue inside and Annie moaned. He ran his hands up and over her arms and she pushed herself up against his chest. God, her soft body pressed to him was his undoing. He was already rock hard, pulling her against him. Her soft mouth, her pink lips, her porcelain skin. He’d never been so damned aroused. How was this young innocent woman making him feel like he was eighteen years old again? Her sweet smell and soft hands were torturing him. What he wouldn’t give to pick her up, wrap her legs around his waist, carry her up to his bedchamber, and make love to her right now.
Jordan forced himself to pull his mouth away. Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead to hers. “Annie, we can’t—”
“Shut up.” She pulled his mouth back to hers.
Jordan groaned.
He wanted to explode. That was all he needed to he
ar. He wasn’t about to make love to Annie in the middle of the conservatory, but he sure as hell was going to do more than kiss her. He had to.
He picked her up easily and pulled her against him, pressing his hardness against her softness. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Hard. Their tongues tangled. He took two large steps over to the low stone wall that bordered the orange trees and set her there. Her head fell back. He kissed her throat. His hands deftly pulled up her blue satin skirts. His fingers skimmed her legs, moved quickly up the sides of her thighs. He swallowed hard, never letting his mouth leave hers. She smelled like soap and flowers and that, combined with the sweet scent of the orange trees, made his head spin.
“Jordan,” she whispered against his hair.
She’d said his name. He’d thought he couldn’t get any harder. He was wrong. He wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her against him. Hard. She cried out. His mouth dropped to her décolletage and his hand deftly unbuttoned the back of her dress. Her dress fell away. He ripped at the straps of her chemise and it too disappeared.
His eyes were riveted to her breasts. They were full and round. Perfect. Just like he knew they would be when he’d imagined them. And God, yes, he had imagined them. A shudder racked his body.
* * *
Annie squeezed her eyes shut. Jordan’s mouth came down to scorch her skin. She couldn’t stand it. She’d never felt like this before. Like fiery wet heat was seeping through every pore. Like she was melting into a creamy puddle. His hot hand branded her knee, her hip. God. This was shameful … a shame he wasn’t ripping off her dress entirely. Where was the nearest bed? Most unfortunate that they hadn’t picked a more comfortable location to have this discussion.
When Arthur had kissed her, nothing like this had happened. This burning heat, these sparks, this intense … desire. It burned her. It swept through her. It made her weak. Made her want more.
Annie moaned against Jordan’s mouth. She shuddered when his deft hands moved up the outsides of her thighs. She had no idea what he was going to do next, but she desperately wanted to find out. She’d kicked off her slippers, letting them fall to the soft ground beneath them. Jordan’s hand had skimmed past her stockings. Now they were underneath her chemise and her head was buzzing.
He was touching her … skin. The outside of her thighs. It was wrong for half a dozen reasons, but it felt so good. She wasn’t just breaking the rules right now, she was beating them to death with her riding crop. Her head fell back as Jordan’s mouth traveled to her earlobe. He nipped her and let his tongue trace the sensitive skin inside. She trembled, her hips moved of their own volition.
He placed his hands on her hips and settled her back down. “Easy, Annie. Don’t be frightened. I would never hurt you,” he whispered into her ear.
Annie knew it. He would never hurt her. Physically, at least. Emotionally, well, that was a different matter altogether, but at present she didn’t care.
“I know,” she whispered back.
Jordan’s mouth moved down to her neck, then he pushed her back, anchoring her with his body. She looped her arms around his neck and he touched his mouth to her nipple. Tentatively at first, slowly. Then, when Annie moaned deep in her throat and clutched his head, he drew her nipple into his mouth and pulled on it. Flicked his tongue back and forth on it, nibbled it.
Annie closed her eyes and let the riotous emotions ricochet through her entire body. She was drowning in a rainbow. Bright lights, strong colors, heady smells. She couldn’t have fathomed having a man’s mouth on her breast would elicit such emotions from her, but she wanted to sob, wanted to tangle her fingers in his dark hair and never let go. Jordan tugged on her nipple with his mouth and she whimpered. Oh God, what was she doing? How long could she let this go on?
Very well, the truth was … she didn’t care. When Jordan’s fire-hot wet mouth scorched her other nipple, she ceased thinking at all. Instead, she luxuriated in the feel of his tongue on her, his hands kneading her breasts, making them feel full, heavy, hot.
He nuzzled in between her breasts and dragged his mouth back to hers. Annie knew a moment of regret. She hadn’t wanted him to stop. But then his hands moved up her thighs and she didn’t have another coherent thought. Jordan grabbed her hips and pulled her to him, forcing their bodies together in an intimate maneuver. Only he was still wearing his breeches. But underneath her chemise, Annie was entirely bare. The heat of his erection burned her through the fabric and she sobbed against his cheek.
“Jordan … please.”
* * *
Jordan took a long deep breath, letting the shudders that racked his body subside. What was he doing? What was he doing? What was he doing? Annie probably didn’t even know what she was asking for, but Jordan did. And damn it, he was going to give it to her. He’d already gone this far. He pulled one hand down the outside of her thigh and slowly allowed it to ascend again, only this time, on the inside. The strong muscles in her thigh twitched. He steadied her. He moved his hand slowly. So slowly. Careful lest he scare her. His tongue still tangled with hers. He couldn’t get enough of her. But when his fingertips gently brushed against the most private part of her, Annie’s sharp intake of breath signaled her surprise.
Slowly. Slowly. A sheen of sweat broke out on Jordan’s forehead. He was vaguely aware that he was trembling. He’d never felt like this before. So out of control. So mad with desire. He wanted to shed his breeches and bury himself in her. Instead, he parted the soft, springy hair between her thighs and stroked her. Oh God, he knew it. She felt like hot silk. Just like hot, wet silk.
Annie’s head had fallen back on her neck. She was no longer kissing him. Just moaning incomprehensible things that he wished to hell he knew the words to. Jordan closed his eyes too. It was going to take every bit of strength he had to survive this. All he wanted to do was take her swiftly, here and now.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.
But he could do this …
He slipped one finger inside of her and Annie’s entire body jerked. She lifted her head and looked at him with eyes wide with surprise. Jordan had expected that. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Don’t be afraid.”
Then he moved his finger and Annie forgot to think at all. The slow glide of Jordan’s finger inside her, in and out, in and out, made Annie want to die. She’d never felt anything approaching it in her entire life. She was wet, and hot, and wanting him. She grabbed his head and kissed him, kissed him with all the pent-up desire she felt for him. If this man was a rake, she never wanted to be without the company of a rake. She was swimming in a haze of heat and desire.
He moved his hand a bit, flicked back and forth, and Annie sobbed against his mouth. “Jordan.”
Jordan kissed her again, deeply, then, “Wait, Annie. Wait for it.”
He brushed his thumb against the little nub of her pleasure between her legs and Annie cried out. Her hips were moving in an unconsciously seductive rhythm that was driving him mad. The way she responded to him, with such heat, such passion, such abandon. His cock had never been so hard.
Jordan moved his thumb in a steady circle. Slowly. Slowly. She was on the pinnacle and he’d do anything to give her the prize.
“Jordan, I…” Her head moved fitfully back and forth. He brought up his other hand to cup the back of her head. He kissed her again. Drank her in like a fine wine.
“Shh,” he whispered. “Just let it happen. Feel.”
“Let what…” But her voice trailed off and her hips increased their pace along with his thumb. She clutched his shoulders. “Jordan!” she cried, her breathing hitching and then coming in fast little spurts. “Jordan.”
Annie didn’t know what was happening inside of her but the agonizing building tension and the crescendo that followed left her breathless, panting, and clinging to Jordan. He was completely still with his eyes clamped shut and an almost pained expression on his face.
“Jordan?” she finally managed to breathe against his neck. “Are you a
ll right?”
He answered through clenched teeth. “I’ll be … fine.”
Annie could still feel his erection through his breeches. She must have caused that. And it was causing him pain. She reached down to touch it.
“Annie. No.” His voice was a too harsh command but Annie knew the second she wrapped her hand around it, he was going to let her touch him.
“Oh God,” he groaned, and Annie pressed her bare breasts to his chest and held him. God, he was big, wide, and long. She could tell that much through his breeches. Despite having never read her sister’s scandalous pamphlet, Annie was somewhat aware of what went on between a man and woman in bed … not necessarily on their wedding night. And from Jordan’s reaction, she had just found the source of his pleasure.
“Can I touch you, Jordan?”
His eyes clenched shut, his jaw tight, he shook his head.
“Please?” she asked, slowly, carefully unbuttoning his breeches with one hand.
“Annie,” he breathed, trying to tell her to stop. He couldn’t be held responsible if she touched his bare cock with her perfect little hand.
“Please,” she whispered. “Let me.”
The last button came undone and Jordan sprang free. Annie wrapped her bare hand around his silken warmth. He was like firm velvet. Long and lean and … hard. She shuddered. Somehow, instinctively, she knew how to touch him. She rubbed him up and down, making Jordan groan and shudder.
“Annie, no.” He kissed her lips fiercely, but Annie didn’t move her hand away.
Jordan braced himself against the unholy torture of having Annie touch him. Anything he’d done to the girl, ruining her chances with Eggleston, abducting her, making her suffer through his matchmaking attempts, they all paled in comparison to the torture she was inflicting upon him at the moment.
Without a doubt, after tonight, their score would be even. She nipped his earlobe and rubbed him up and down. Jordan’s cock jerked. Oh God, if he allowed her to keep doing that, he’d spill his seed, right here on the bloody stone wall in the conservatory. Such. Bad. Form.
It took every ounce of strength he had to reach down and pull Annie’s torturous hand away. Her eyes were still a haze of lust and confusion. He kissed her forehead. The tip of her nose. Her lips.
Secrets of a Runaway Bride Page 20
