“What do you have in mind?”
“Everything.”
Nate rolled off Morgan and sat up. He was momentarily speechless. “What happened to your inhibitions?”
Morgan went to her knees. “I gave them the night off,” she whispered, undoing the buttons on his shirt. “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”
“You’re going to have to let me up.”
Morgan sat back on her heels. “What’s the matter?”
He kissed her nose. “I need to get protection.”
Moving off the bed, he opened his bag, removing several condoms.
Morgan was still in the same position when he returned to the bed. She extended her arms and he went into her embrace. “Where were we?” he asked.
“I was undressing you.” She pressed a kiss to the base of his throat. “Please lie on your back.”
Nate smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
Those were the last two words he remembered after he gripped the iron bedposts, closed his eyes, and surrendered to Morgan’s deft touch. She managed to undress him with minimum effort. Never had he felt more exposed, more vulnerable, as he lay motionless, waiting to submit to whatever she had planned for him.
All Nate’s senses were magnified: He felt the velvety brush of Morgan’s smooth skin once she removed her clothes, the moist feel of her breath feathering over his throat, and the haunting, sensual scent of her perfume as she lay on top of him, skin to skin, heart to heart.
“Am I too heavy for you?” she asked.
He smiled. “I hardly feel you.” Nate wanted to laugh. He probably weighed twice as much as she did. He drew in a sharp breath. Morgan had reached between his thighs, gently massaging his flaccid penis. He hardened quickly.
“Do you like that, baby?”
Nate gasped. “I love it.” She handed him the condom and he slipped it on.
He gasped again when her mouth covered one breast, and then the other. Morgan was making it difficult for him to breathe. Between her tongue suckling his nipples and her hand pumping him vigorously, he didn’t know how long he would last. She caught his nipple between her teeth, increasing the pressure when he reached down to pull her hand away from his erection.
“Please let me do this,” she hissed, applying more pressure.
Nate didn’t know whether to cry out or moan. The slight pain was so pleasurable he believed he was close to fainting. In that instant he forgot every woman he’d ever touched, kissed, or slept with. The pleasurable torture was short-lived. Her mouth had replaced her hand and he did lose control, bucking and rising off the mattress. The muscles in his arms bulged as he gripped the headboard as though it were a lifeline. With his heart pounding painfully in his chest, Nate surrendered to the explosive ecstasy that was spiraling out of control. He saw brilliant lights behind his closed lids, and then darkness when he experienced la petite mort for the first time in his life. For several precious seconds his heart stopped, and he died in the throes of the sweetest, most selfless act any woman had ever offered him.
Morgan released Nate’s penis, and then rested her head on his thigh. It wasn’t her intention when she took him into her mouth to make him come so quickly. However, it was the first time since she’d slept with a man that she’d felt totally in control. And she liked it.
“Nate?” His response came in the form of a moan. “Are you all right, baby?”
“I don’t know. I can’t move.” His disembodied voice sounded as if he were across the room.
“You don’t have to. I’ll clean you up.”
She slipped off the bed and went into the bathroom. A wicker table held an ample supply of towels and facecloths, as well as tiny bottles of shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, and body lotion. Turning on the hot water in the basin, she squeezed a dollop of gel on a facecloth, then wrung out the excess water.
Nate lay on his back, one muscular arm thrown over his head. He shuddered when she removed the condom and drew the cloth over his groin. “What on earth did you do to me?”
Morgan smiled. “I hope I made you feel good.”
He shook his head. “You did more than that. Now I want to reciprocate.”
Perhaps in some intimate way she’d communicated to him what lay in her heart. It’d begun as a childish crush, blossomed into unrequited love, and then faded when she realized she’d lost him to another woman. It was the love she’d selfishly withheld from the other men in her life.
“You can do that later,” she said.
Nate took the cloth from her, dropping it on the pile of discarded clothing. “Come lie next to me.”
Morgan paused. “Let me turn off the lights first.”
She picked up the cloth, leaving it in the bathroom, and then walked around flicking off the lamps. After she’d gotten into bed, Nate turned off the bedside lamp, and the cottage was plunged into complete darkness. Morgan smiled when he pressed his chest to her back. They cuddled, spoonlike, his heart beating in a slow, measured rhythm against her back.
Nate blew his breath on the nape of her neck. “Thank you for giving your inhibitions the night off. The roles reverse tomorrow, when I do the same with mine.”
“What do plan to do to me?”
“I’m not going to tell you,” he said with a laugh. “I just have to make certain you’ll enjoy it.”
There came a noticeable pause before Morgan asked, “How often do you come here?”
“This is the first time since I moved back.”
Morgan closed her eyes. “Why now?”
“Because of you,” he answered. “I could’ve spent the night with you in the Creek, but seeing my truck parked at your house or yours at my place would exacerbate the talk about us.”
“I don’t care what people say about me, Nate.”
“But I do,” he countered. “A man can do something and people say that he’s just being a man. But it’s different with a woman. Folks talk about how many times Trina has been married, but no one opens their mouths about Harry Hill’s boy making babies with different women all over the county. He’s—what?—twenty-five or twenty-six, and he’s fathered at least nine kids.”
Morgan shifted into a more comfortable position. “I don’t blame Harry Junior as much as I do his baby mamas. First of all, he’s too old to live at home. His parents know he’s trifling, and so do the women he sleeps with. What I can’t understand is why these women are willing to risk their health by having unprotected sex with him. And I’m shocked that they all know one another. Harry Junior don’t work, don’t want to work, and will never work as long as his mother takes care of her grown-ass boy.”
Nate whistled softly. “Whoa, baby. I didn’t mean to rile you up.”
“I can’t help but get riled up when men don’t step up and take care of their children. If you don’t want to take care of them, don’t have them.”
“Please don’t put me in the same bag as Harry Junior. I don’t know about the future, but one thing I do know for certain is that if I get a woman pregnant, I will marry her and take care of my child.”
“You’d marry her knowing you don’t love her?” Morgan asked.
“If I’m sleeping with her for any length of time, I’d have to have feelings for her, Mo. As for love…that’s a word that’s bandied about much too glibly. I love my car. I love my job, etc., etc., etc. Two people can always grow to love each other if there is trust and respect.”
“Unfortunately, there are too many men who don’t think like you do, Nate. Look at who they admire. Basketball and football players; rap stars who are embroiled in paternity suits with their baby mamas. I have no problem with being a single mother, but I don’t plan to become a baby mama.”
“What’s the difference?” Nate asked.
“A single mother could be divorced or have adopted her children.”
“Why would you adopt when you can have your own children?”
“I might end up not getting married or being too old to have a child.”
Nate’s arm tightened around her middle. “I’d be willing to father a child with you.”
Morgan’s mind reeled in confusion. He’d talked about never becoming an unwed father, and not wanting to remarry, so why was it okay to talk about getting her pregnant?
“That’s not going to happen, Nate,” she said softly.
“Why not?”
“Because that would mean us getting married.”
“I can think of worse things, Mo.”
She threw off his arm and sat up. “Oh, really? Are you certain you’re not schizophrenic?”
Nate also sat up. “Of course not.”
“Well, you could’ve fooled me. You told me emphatically that you’ll never marry again. Why the change of heart?”
“That’s before I got to know you.”
It didn’t matter how much she loved Nate. Morgan didn’t want to conceive a child or get married without love. “We had an in-depth conversation for the first time six weeks ago, and then I asked you about it last night, so why the change of heart? What more do you know about me now?”
“I know all I need to know.”
“And that is?” she asked.
“I watched you tonight with that little girl. You didn’t hesitate when she asked for your monkey. Then there was Queenie and her kids. I’d heard that her husband walked out on her and that she’s been struggling financially. Her folks are elderly and on fixed incomes, so there’s not much they can do for her and their grandchildren. You didn’t have to do what you did.”
“Throwing away food is sinful. And because you witnessed a couple acts of kindness you talk about wanting to marry me?”
“Given time, I’m certain we can fall in love with each other. You can’t deny we’re not good together in and out of bed.”
Morgan wanted to scream. “Why do you make it sound so clinical?” His arms went around her shoulders, pulling her close.
“I’m trying to be reasonable and considerate. You were the one who said you wanted to wait a few years before you would consider marriage and motherhood. If we do this thing, take things to the next level, I want it to be sooner rather than later. I don’t want to become a father for the first time at forty. By the time our kids reach school age I’ll probably be completely gray and other kids will start teasing them, saying I’m their grandfather.”
Morgan laughed despite the seriousness of their conversation. Somehow this wasn’t how she’d envisioned Nate proposing to her. He made it seem like a business deal. Even though Morgan loved Nate, one thing she wasn’t was desperate. She refused to accept a marriage proposal without love. The two were indivisible.
“Marriage is not a business deal,” she flung at him. “It’s not a joke or something to play around about.”
“Remember, I’m the one with more experience when it comes to marriage and business deals, and I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to insult you.”
She buried her face between his neck and shoulder. “Apology accepted. I should’ve realized you were speaking hypothetically,” she said, inhaling the lingering scent of his aftershave. Morgan knew her namesake would be proud of her. She was thinking with her head instead of her heart.
Nate buried his face in her short hair. “The only thing I’m going to ask is that you give me a chance to love you the way you deserved to be loved.”
Morgan swallowed hard in an attempt not to cry. Pressing her fist against Nate’s back she bit her lip. She nodded, because the lump in her throat wouldn’t permit her to speak. She wasn’t certain how long they held each other before Nate eased her back onto the mattress, cradling her to his chest until she fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.
Chapter Twenty
Nate adjusted the pillows under his shoulders as he supported his back against the headboard. Ribbons of sunlight filtered through the shutters, threading their way over the bed.
He woke early and lay motionless, watching Morgan as she slept.
Sleep hadn’t been as kind to him. He still had to come to grips with the realization that he’d indirectly proposed to Morgan. He hadn’t gone on one knee to ask if she would marry him. He’d just thrown it out there as if discussing which restaurant they would go to for dinner. She’d accused him of being clinical and he’d denied it. I can think of worse things. Why did he say that to her? He shook his head in disbelief. She deserved a lot better than a backhanded marriage proposal.
Nate hadn’t lied when he told Morgan that, given time, he was certain they would fall in love with each other. It had taken six weeks for him to come out of his shell, and he had Morgan to thank for that. If she hadn’t solicited his involvement in the Angels Landing Plantation restoration, there was no doubt he would’ve continued as a loner.
Knowing he was going to see Morgan brightened his workdays, and their sleeping together had become an added bonus. When he’d suggested becoming her love slave, Nate never imagined she would take him up on his offer. He’d done it as a challenge, to see if she was willing to shed her inhibitions. And she had, shocking him when she’d given him the most exquisite blow job he’d ever had.
He knew that sharing incredible sex wasn’t enough to form the basis of a marriage, or to salvage a shaky one. It went beyond that. There had to be love, mutual respect, and trust. And for him, trust superseded love, because people fell in and out of love every day.
Bryce telling Nate that he was going to become an uncle again, and Morgan calling to inform him that Rachel had given birth to identical twin boys, had renewed his desire to become a father. It’d taken him about six hours to carve, sand, and prime matching bookends for the twins. And when he’d visited the Parlor Bookstore to look for children’s books, he’d wanted the gift to be for his own children. Watching Morgan interact with the little girl struck a chord in him that was shocking. If or when he fathered a child, he wanted a woman like Morgan to be the mother.
Nate smiled when Morgan let out a soft sigh. He knew she liked him. Morgan had been forthcoming with that, but he wondered if she would ever love him. When she confessed to loving him when he gave her the gift, he knew she meant platonically, but what about romantic love? His feelings for her were different from what he’d experienced with any other woman. Whenever he was with her, he experienced a sense of peace.
Without warning, Morgan opened her eyes. A momentary expression of confusion crossed her features before she smiled. “Good morning,” she mumbled, covering her mouth and hiding a yawn.
Nate nuzzled the side of her neck. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
She moaned. “I slept great. What time is it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t own a watch.”
Rolling over on her back, Morgan met his eyes. “How can you go around without a watch?”
Sliding off the mound of pillows cradling his shoulders, Nate rested his chin on the top of Morgan’s head. “I don’t have to punch a clock, so I don’t concern myself with the time. I wake up before the sun comes up and I go to bed when I’m tired.”
“No rules, no stress,” Morgan mumbled against his bare chest.
“There you go,” he drawled.
“If you weren’t here with me, then you’d probably be working.”
Nate wiggled his nose when wisps of Morgan’s hair brushed it. “No, I wouldn’t. Shaw and Sons is closed for the duration of the fair.”
“What would you be if you weren’t a carpenter?” Morgan asked, continuing her questioning.
“A carpenter.”
“You never wanted to be anything else?” Morgan asked.
“Nope. Are you hungry?” he asked, smoothly changing the subject.
“A little, but I’d like to go for a walk along the beach first.”
Whipping back the sheet, Nate dipped his head and fastened his mouth to Morgan’s buttock, causing her to gasp. “Do you think I could have a little snack before we leave?” He inhaled her silken skin, recognizing the aroma of vanilla and white musk along with other unrecognizable notes in her perfu
me.
“Please don’t,” she pleaded.
“Don’t what, baby?”
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
Nate slid off the bed, scooped Morgan up into his arms as if she were a child, then carried her to the bathroom. He placed her in front of the commode and took a step backward, staring at the bloodred polish on her toenails. “Nice color.” His gaze moved up, lingering on a pair of firm breasts that reminded him of large chocolate muffins topped with Hershey’s Kisses. “You have beautiful, perky breasts.”
Morgan crossed her arms over her chest. “Do you mind?”
His eyebrows lifted. “Mind what?”
“Giving me some privacy.”
“I thought you gave inhibition time off so you could be a naughty girl,” he said teasingly.
“Naughty has nothing to do with this.” Morgan was still smiling when Nate left her in the bathroom. She returned to the bedroom minutes later, smothering another yawn with her hand. “I need a shower so I can wake up.”
“We’ll shower together.” He stared deeply into her eyes. They were dark, unfathomable, and he wondered what she was thinking at that moment. “This is the first time in a very long time I don’t feel alone.”
Morgan traced the letters of the tattoo on his chest with her forefinger. “You shouldn’t,” she said in a feathery whisper. “Not when you carry her over your heart.”
He placed his hand over hers. “I’m not talking about my mother, Morgan. I’m talking about you.” Nate increased the pressure on her fingers when she went still. “I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes, but there is one thing I know. I will never hurt you.”
Morgan lowered her gaze, shielding her innermost thoughts. “Call me crazy, but I believe you.”
He pressed his mouth to her forehead, astounded at the sense of peace he always found whenever he shared the same space with her. She was right. Although they weren’t able to change their pasts, they did have the power to determine their futures. And he wanted this woman in his arms for a very long time.
Reaching for a condom and picking her up, Nate walked back into the bathroom. He placed the condom on a shelf in the shower stall. Turning on the faucet, he adjusted the temperature as water flowed over their bodies. Cradling her face between his hands, he kissed Morgan with all the emotion he could summon for the woman who had affected him as no other had. His hands came down, moving over her throat, shoulders, breasts, and belly. He’d become a sculptor, his fingertips caressing every dip and curve of her body.
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