by Katie Wright
"Yeah I think."
"Me too," Mickey popped up.
"What happened?" Jane asked.
"I'll tell you in the car," Mickey said.
Well I guess this night turned out as bad as I thought.
Chapter 14: Admitting to Nothing
The events of the previous evening, just like any other drunken fiasco, hit me like a ton of bricks. Not to overdo the phrase, but I really did feel as though a ton of bricks or something heavier had hit me in the head multiple times.
The soft plush comforter my mother gave me covered my face from the invading sunlight. A new day and a new wave of emotions hit me. I had admitted I wanted something to happen between me and Casey. I liked him and I wasn't going to deny it anymore. At least I would no longer deny it to myself.
The car ride back to my house was memorable. Mickey drove Jane and me home and recalled the events which happened while I was emptying my stomach.
"Oh man, Casey got up a little too fast and I guess was going to explain, well," Mickey laughed and breathed and then remembered, "then Casey just spewed all over that bitch!"
Jane followed suit and laughed just as hard. I also recalled Mickey mentioning Sarah would be staying at Lucy's that night, most likely to comfort her broken heart stricken friend. I leaned back in my seat closing my eyes willing everything that happened to go away for tomorrow.
Well now it was tomorrow and I started to wish it away again. Nothing had happened but what if it had? What if me and him had done something?
Throwing the comforter off, which I regretted immediately, I clumsily strolled out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom. Relieving the deluge, I felt a lot better. Ringing pulsated through my ear drums and I followed it to the first available phone.
"Hello," my voice came out dry and hoarse form not utilizing it.
"Hey, Heather?" It was Jane and from hearing her voice I supposed I wasn't the only one who was feeling the after effects of last night.
"Hey, what's up Jane?"
"Just wanted to see how you were doing. Last night got a bit out of hand."
I sat on my parents' bed and leaned back till I fell on its waiting comfort.
"Yeah it was crazy, but I have to admit I had a good time." It was a time in which parts I would never want to remember, namely Lucy finding me and Casey in a compromising position, but the time before that incident was good and memorable.
"Yeah it was fun but you never really told me what happened."
I closed my eyes and breathed in the faint smell of pumpkin candle presumably lit in my parents' bathroom.
"Jane," I sighed heavily, "Nothing really happened."
"You sound, what's the word," she paused, "deflated?"
"Deflated, I think the word is dissatisfied."
"Oh!" She squealed into my ear and then said, "So I guess you hoped something would happen."
"Maybe," I uttered but didn't allow Jane to finish my thought. "I had been drinking and hanging out with Brian when we got into it and then Cara came over…"
"Oh, so yeah you need to tell me about that after this."
I paused and said, "Okay…Um, yeah, so then Cara and Brian left me while I was getting a drink and then Casey came over and started being hard on me. That pissed me off but then he wanted me to play shot checkers, so we did, and we got drunk…"
"So wait, hold on, he wanted to play checkers with you?"
"Yes, Jane, but it was shot checkers, he said Lucy," I yawned, "scuse me, Lucy apparently was with some people he didn't know or something."
"And he just decided you would do." In her tone anyone could sense what she was getting at but I didn't believe it.
"Jane don't start you know he said she was busy and that's not important anyways."
"Okay, okay, then what happened?" She sounded like a little child asking for the next part in a story that would have been so much more interesting than the one I was about to finish telling her.
"Well he took me upstairs to sleep…"
"With him!"
"Shut up Jane!"
"Sorry."
"I'm telling you you're so freaky, anyway," I stopped my thoughts I knew she truly believed he liked me, "he and I well we found Brian and Cara in a bedroom making out."
"Ah!" Deafening silence flooded me as I think I became hearing impaired after Jane's shriek.
"Jane!" I reprimanded her, "Please do not scream in my ear and if you have to, pull the freaking phone away."
A muttered 'sorry' from her I distinctly remembered.
"Okay, they didn't hide the fact that they were in there so we went onto another room. Casey got me a drink of water and came back and we both ended up falling asleep. See, it's not as interesting as it sounds."
"Bull shit! You know how we found you two before Lucy went off her rocker?"
"What do you mean? I thought Lucy found us first?"
"Um no," Jane sounded like an ashamed child, "no, me and Mickey did and then kind of had Lucy find you both, together."
I pulled a pillow from my mom's bed and covered my head. I heard utter cries of my name at me from Jane but ignored them until I could clear my head, that and my lungs needed oxygen.
"Jane," slowly speaking so that she'd understand me, "Do you realize what you did? You got Casey in a lot of trouble."
"Well I hope so. He shouldn't be with her and Mickey doesn't think so either."
"Jane!"
"What it's true. Lucy is too young for him and immature. He didn't even spend anytime with her at the party. He waited till you were free to spend time with. If he doesn't want to be with you then why would he go off and find you?"
"First of all, if he really liked me then he would just dump Lucy and ask me out. Secondly, I was the only one available, he told me so."
"No, Heath, he found me and Mickey and asked us where you were. We told him you might be in the kitchen. He could have asked us if we wanted to play but he didn't. And he probably won't just ask you out because you haven't exactly been forthcoming about your feelings. He probably thinks you hate him."
This was all true in someway but I didn't want to admit it. Right at that moment my stomach began growling, "Well Jane thanks for the insight but I have to go eat something."
"Wait you don't want to talk anymore about this?"
"Not particularly, there's no point to analyze this to death when nothing will come of it. I'll talk to you later, bye."
I hung up and then went to find food.
Casey pulled the dried paint off the house.
"Yeah it looks like it's time for some siding man." Brian's voice seemed to bring Casey out of his present thoughts.
Casey turned around, "What?"
"You're mind isn't really with it today."
A week after the party and Casey couldn't stop rethinking that night. What he had said to her but she would never know because she had fallen asleep on him. He pulled her closer to him and knew it was wrong as he brushed his fingers in her hair and touched her face in a way that should have only been acceptable for Lucy. Still, he had apologized and she accepted. He couldn't believe it and in a way he had hoped she would have just dumped him.
Picking at the white paint embedded in his finger nails he stared back at the little bungalow. It was in so much disrepair but Casey just felt it was time to fix it up. Something in him was changing and he wanted to show it on the outside.
"I think it's time for some siding. Maybe blue, what'd you think?" Ignoring Brian's question and moving on to the task at hand.
Brian stepped up, "Well, I don't know what kind of blue? I kind of like white and a blue trim."
Casey smirked and looked at his friend, "Brian, no offense but all that time you've been spending with Cara has turned you into a girl."
Brian laughed, "It's only been a week."
"And how's it going?"
"Great. God, I never expected anything to happen."
Casey didn't want to rain on his parade but knew he had to say s
omething, "You do know she just broke up with her boyfriend."
"Yes but she told me she never really loved him."
Brian seemed to stare off at the house but his thoughts were thinking of Cara. Casey wondered if he had looked the same when he was thinking of Heather.
"So I guess white with blue trim?"
Brian pulled back to reality, "Yeah I think so."
Casey nodded and took the opportunity to think of Heather as Brian was presumably thinking of his girlfriend or soon to be.
What if he and Heather wouldn't get that chance because he couldn't just break Lucy's heart and because he was a coward himself? Heather had never made it obvious that she liked him. He didn't want to get hurt and especially because he knew that she could do it to him.
It was time to keep him occupied with other thoughts and thus the house project had been born and he would hopefully have it finished before the weather became bitter and his mood as well.
"Not in a particularly good mood today?" Dan's voice vibrated throughout the library.
Lancaster Library held thousands of documents and books that were waiting to be read by anyone. It was a shame that he had disturbed the quiet I had been enjoying. The ambience was lost and I looked at him annoyed.
"What Dan?"
"Oh," he put his hands up in defense, "No need to bite at me, but I can tell you're not really all there. Something bothering you?"
And it was times like this that I had trouble holding my tongue because I knew he was only trying to be nice.
"No, not really, I guess I'm just tired."
"Well maybe I can change your mood." He moved towards me lazily. He pulled something from his back and placed it in front of me.
I didn't really recall much of anything except that his movements seemed stealthy and that for a second I was actually scared, but of what I didn't know.
Then I looked down at a piece of paper that had one word on it, 'Letters.'
I picked it up and looked at it, "What's this?"
Dan laughed and sat across from me. We were in the main hall of the library where I had first met my boss and where I had presumed I would be working. It was still a little disappointment that I had to be in a tiny room hidden away from everything with Dan.
"This," he pointed at my paper, "is your new project. Or I should say the project you will be working on."
I was piqued, "I don't understand."
"Well I've decided to give a part of something I've been working on. This way you get a little more independence and maybe after this you can start your own."
So I was getting my own kind of little project. For once I felt like I was getting some freedom away from Dan.
"But," he began again, "we still need to work on this together. I'll give you the specifics later but basically during the day you will be on your own to write notes. I need you to meet me later to discus them since we won't have time during the day too."
I now realize he wasn't letting me have any real freedom. I was still on a long leash and now I'd have to still see him.
"Okay but where?" I cautiously asked.
"Well," he started, "we'll alternate, first night at mine and then yours and back and forth. I hope you don't mind but since we won't really be around each other during the day it was the only way we could discuss everything."
"What about lunch?"
"Well I don't want to talk about work then," he stood up quickly, "Now, come on I need to show and tell you the specifics."
I got up and followed him. Something about this whole situation disturbed me. It was like in college when you had a group project, which I hated. Group projects stifled me and didn't allow me to do the work my own way. We'd all meet in a library and the group would pretend to be working only to decide it was social hour. I ended up looking for my own research and finish my project along with everyone else's.
I just hoped Dan wouldn't decide it was social hour or any other kind of hour for that matter. I didn't even think we'd only being seeing one another for an hour which made me feel even worse than before.
Returning home after a long hour with Dan deciding what days and time would be acceptable and I decided to drop on my bed. I turned and rolled the comforter around me.
Closing my eyes I waited for my mother to call me down to dinner. Well it didn't happen and I woke up around 8pm. "What the…" I rubbed my eyes and jumped out of bed.
When I came downstairs I noticed my parents flopped on the couch watching television.
"Hey why didn't anyone wake me up?"
My mom turned her head, "Oh," my mom started, "I thought you were still at work. I'm sorry honey. There are some leftovers in the fridge."
"Okay, thanks." I was dispelled as my mother turned back to the television. I now realized my dad was also sleeping peacefully.
I walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside for its contents. Finding leftovers unappealing I decided to just find my own dinner, preferably out.
"I'm going out mom."
"Okay," she said distractedly.
Yes I was now feeling the love. I kind of enjoyed when my parents asked me tons of questions about where I was going when I was a teenager and for that matter still in college. They just didn't seem to care whether I was around or not and maybe that was because I never really was. Four years without me around and now I understood. They had gotten used to it being quiet, and especially with Sarah. She never made as much noise as me and was always slow to temper as opposed to me.
Yes, they must have really enjoyed the quiet and I was just another person, more like an intrusion, in their nice little harmonious lives.
Grabbing my coat I made it outside and to my car. November was here and in full force. It hadn't felt so cold in such awhile it was hard to get used to. I wrapped myself in my down feathered coat and jumped in my car. Turning it on I waited for the heat to arrive before pulling out and down the street.
The question was, where was I going to eat? I drove towards the pike where all the fast food places seemed to be in our town. I took a slight turn on a short cut and realized where I was driving, or who I was going to be driving past.
The small little house's lights were on and it seemed that there was a bit of construction going on as well. I slowed up and pulled down my window to stare at Casey's bungalow. It was a cute house and I noticed he had removed the offensive dungy recliner that sat on the porch.
"Heath?"
I didn't see him in the shadows and at that moment I almost sped off. Luckily my brain had kicked back and I was able to have a response for my reasons for being in front of his house.
"Oh I went to get some food and I couldn't help but notice the scaffoldings," I pointed out the window. I had fully unbuckled my seat belt and was leaning over the passenger side of the car.
Casey walked over wearing jeans and a dark pullover. He leaned on the window.
"Well I was planning on ordering in." Was this a suggestion I could eat with him?
"Casey, I was just going up the street and…"
I couldn't see his face but I could sense something so I retracted most of my statement and just asked, "Where were you planning on ordering from?"
He laughed and got up from the car. Walking away he said, "Meet me inside I need to do something."
I parked the car up to the curve and got out. I went inside and looked around and headed towards where I could remember the kitchen being and noticed an array of take out menus on the table. Oh Chinese seemed good.
I took a seat and waited for him. The silence was a bit uncomfortable and I was just waiting for Casey to pop out and scare me.
On edge and out of place I tried to fill my mind with thoughts of anything to distract myself. Dan, damn him because now I couldn't leave my work, I had to bring it home with me. We had fixed a schedule where I would see him on alternating days. He did indeed promise it would only take an hour or so to go over everything. But the hour was always planned around 7pm right after dinner. He said
he couldn't do it right after work and didn't elaborate and I didn't ask him too.
"Damn him," I muttered.
"Talking to yourself seems to suit you," Casey came from the kitchen entrance.
"Would you stop that!"
"Stop what?" He chortled.
"You know like popping up out of no where," I was throwing my hands around.
He sat down across from me, "So I hope you weren't damning me because I didn't know it would take that long."
