by Katie Wright
We were all talking and having a good time when I remembered, "Hey Cara where's Mickey?"
"Here!" Mickey was standing a foot away from me.
I rubbed my ears, "Mickey watch it!"
"Well I have to scream in this place, you can't hear a damn thing!"
"Okay!" I screamed back. Cara laughed at us and that's when I heard someone else's laugh. I hadn't heard it in awhile and small memories flashed in mind. I tried to suppress them but everything came back when I saw him.
I looked up and noticed Casey standing just behind Mickey. "Hey," he shyly said.
It was weird how things were now. I thought after hanging out with him we would be more comfortable around each other but that wasn't the case. The air tightened and those damn butterflies were having a party in my stomach.
"Where's Lucy?" I asked out of no where.
He answered after a moment, "Well not here because she's not old enough."
"Right," I muttered.
"But, actually she's at home, with her family I guess."
I nodded and then I saw Tony practically jump on top of me. "Oh God why didn't you tell me!"
I pushed Tony away, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"That Jane was terrific dancer. Let's go!" He screamed at me. I pulled him back to me.
"What?" He looked confused.
"Wait I want you to meet my other cousin."
He looked up at both Casey and Mickey and then gave Casey a handshake, "It's nice to meet you."
I pulled Tony's hand away, "No that's Casey, this," I pointed to my cousin, "is Mickey."
"Oh sorry man, it's nice to meet you too."
Casey nodded, "Yeah you too man."
Finally all introductions were over and it was time to have what I considered fun. Tony and I found Jane and started dancing. They were the two most outgoing people I knew and they danced liked it too. A little bit of grinding and soon I had found myself a partner with a stranger.
Tony kept giving me that 'oh look at you,' look. I glared at him but amusedly. Jane started dancing behind him and laughing. I jumped on board and dance in front of Tony so that he was sandwiched between us.
"The Tony express is here!" He yelled out.
I was laughing pretty hard until I felt the man I had left come up behind me. He started grinding a bit tough against my backside. Tony also noticed and turned me around but now I was facing the stranger, who now had a face that I loosely remembered.
My eyes went wide as I recalled that this was the guy that I had trouble with before. In that memory I believe I told him that Casey was my boyfriend. Now where was my pseudo boyfriend?
Tony turned away from me in my moment of need and started dancing with Jane. I rolled my eyes, this could not be happening, again. The guy came up to me and yelled, "I thought you had a boyfriend? But that doesn't look like the guy!"
I was trapped in a lie. I shook my head and started to walk away when I was grabbed by my upper arm. I yelled in pain but no one seemed to notice as they all seemed too busy with themselves.
A hand pushed down on the one that was grabbing me. The guy let go and I looked up as I saw Casey standing between both of us. He looked over at the guy, "Are you dancing on my girlfriend again?"
My eyes went wide and the guy stated, "That's not your girlfriend, and she was just dancing up on that guy!" He pointed to Tony whose attention was now drawn to the three of us. Even Jane had stopped to see what was happening.
Casey walked up to guy and I believe I noticed his shoulders push back a bit, "Why the fuck do you care who my girlfriend dances with?"
I pulled my eyes away and noticed that Brian and Mickey were now standing behind the guy. Tony walked up next to Casey. They seemed formidable circling around the guy but he deserved it. He placed his hands in the air and wiggled out of the circle.
Tony glimpsed at me and offered a bewildered look. I just shrugged and then went over to Casey.
"Thank you, again."
He nodded and then said, "No problem."
I was a little dazed as Casey left. He perched himself back on his barstool. I noticed he was downing some shots with Mickey.
After a few more songs I was spent and went back to the bar. I sat down next to Mickey who was speaking with Casey. Tony and Jane came up to me.
"What are we going to have next Heath?" Jane exclaimed.
I thought about it and decided another shot would do, "What about lemon drops?"
Tony placed his arms around my neck, "That sounds good."
I waited to order but couldn't ignore Tony's arms. Something wasn't feeling right and I felt the instinct to look up. To my left I noticed Casey staring at me. Instead of pretending that he wasn't looking he nodded and looked back to Mickey. Maybe he wasn't staring at me but listening to Mickey and I had just been in his line of vision.
I finally ordered our shots and we downed them excluding a toast. Tony and Jane decided to go back into the throngs of people but I decided against it. For some reason I just didn't feel the same.
I heard a voice next to me say, "Aren't you driving home?"
I looked over at said voice which belonged to Casey, "Yes."
"Then maybe you should take it easy."
"I didn't have much. Just two shots and a drink."
Casey nodded and took Mickey's stool. "So how did you and Tony meet?"
I was caught off guard by the question. "Um, well actually my sophomore year at college, we took a gen. ed. together. I think it was World Geography 101."
"What did he take up?"
"Computers," I was thirsty again so I put my hand in my pocket to retrieve some money.
Casey stopped me, "I'll get it, what do you want?"
"Rum and Coke."
"Okay," then he turned back to me after he ordered.
"So, why aren't you hanging out with Lucy?"
Casey flashed a nervous grin, "Uh, well, I just wanted to hang with the guys tonight."
"How are things between you two?" My questions were meant to be direct. Now that we were friends I had to act like it. A friend wouldn't feel awkward asking about their friend's boyfriend or girlfriend. They wouldn't feel jealous or feel liking puking at mentioning it.
"You don't look good," Casey offered.
Perhaps I didn't because I knew I could never be his friend. Companionship could only come in one form from him and since he hadn't dumped the minor there was no point in dwelling on it.
"I'm fine." It was a lie and he knew it was a lie.
The back of his hand brushed my cheek, "You feel hot."
I wished the tingling sensation would go away but a blush rose in my cheeks. I touched my cheek he had caressed, "Um, it's kind of warm in here."
He hopped off his barstool, "You wanna go outside for a few minutes."
I jumped off my bar stool giving him his answer. I followed him till we got outside. We walked around the side of the building. I did feel better at least from the heat of the bar.
"This better?"
I nodded, "Yeah thanks for the suggestion."
I also welcomed the quiet out there. It was very difficult to have a conversation with anyone, especially Casey. I was a little surprised he hadn't gone out and danced so I mentioned it to him.
"Um I just didn't feel like it," was his doubtful response.
"So," he started.
"Casey you don't have to stay out here with me," I automatically suggested.
"Well, okay, but I want to be out here."
Okay, I didn't have a retort for that so I nodded instead.
"I know this sounds like a stupid and maybe personal question, but we're friends right?" His voice wavered at the word 'friends.'
"Yeah," I crouched down on my heels and stared up at him.
He seemed calmer than me and yet I could sense he was uneasy.
"Did you and Tony date in college?"
I flushed and stared at the pavement and the side of the building. Beer bottles littered it and I sud
denly realized that my dad was right and this place really was a 'dump.'
I stood up and answered Casey, "No we didn't date."
"But something…"
"Casey," I cut him off, "me and Tony are just friends. But I like him a lot. He was one of my best friends in college."
"I understand."
"What is it?" I wanted him to tell me what he was thinking and why he was asking me these questions. I wanted him to tell me he was jealous of Tony but I had the feeling that he wouldn't. I had to be direct with him without pushing him away.
Casey rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture I noticed he did when he was nervous. Then he chuckled to himself, "Just making sure this wasn't another Dan incident."
I rolled my eyes, "No, Tony is nothing like Dan in any way," giggling a bit I muttered, "Tony probably even kisses better than Dan…." The remark left my lips before I had a chance to take it back.
I stopped and looked up to see Casey who just nodded to me. Maybe he hadn't caught onto what I said; recognition didn't register so I assumed he didn't hear me.
He cocked his head, "Let's go back in."
"Sure."
We returned inside and after another hour everyone was thoroughly plastered, excluding me. I sobered a lot after my talk with my 'friend.'
The next day was Thanksgiving and yet nothing that exciting happened. I didn't see my cousins since they were having dinner over their houses and so were my friends. Well it gave me the opportunity to speak with Sarah about how school was going.
After dinner we went to her room and popped on the television. I was completely relaxed. I wished everyday could have been like that.
"So," Sarah started, "How was last night?"
"It was good."
"Did anything happen?"
I shook my head, "No, why?"
Sarah's eyes flickered for a moment, "Because Lucy called last night."
I acted nonchalant, "Oh, yeah about what?"
"Well apparently Casey didn't go over there."
"Yeah he was at the bar last night."
"Heath, Lucy asked him to come over but he said he had family stuff to do."
"Well why the hell would she call over here?"
Sarah gave me a pointed look, "Three guesses."
I acted confused, "Here, why would he be here?"
Sarah tapped a finger on her chin, "Well let me think he likes you and oh yeah he likes you!"
"Sarah! No he doesn't. If he did why would he be dating Lucy?"
Sarah sat down next to me, as if she were explaining something to a small child, "Heath, he has been going out with her to make you jealous. You haven't reciprocated his feelings so he continues to date Lucy, who he doesn't give a crap about. And I have to say that's a pretty assholish thing to do."
I turned away, "Well it's not my fault."
Sarah hit my arm, hard. "Ow! Why did you do that?"
She never hit me.
"Because Heather either you admit your feelings for him or he's going to hurt Lucy more than he already has."
"I can't do that," I slowly admitted, "I can't."
Sarah got up from the bed and walked towards the door before she left she said, "I hope I didn't come home to deal with your drama. I just wanted to enjoy my break."
After she left I could feel tears in my eyes. Was I really making everyone's life that miserable? If Lucy thought there was something between Casey and me why didn't she ask him? It wasn't my fault she was too insecure to break up with him. Stupid wench, now everyone was going to blame me, including my own sister.
"Heather, I think I should add you for a bi-line," Dan's lanky form stood over me on his couch.
I had been at Dan's at the most six times since we began the project and I still had not opened the mystifying boxes that resided in his closet.
I smiled up at him, no there was nothing mysterious about Dan as far as I knew. The boxes were most likely research. However every night I did work at Dan's I would go down a block to Tony's. Then we'd hang out and I'd tell him how I didn't open the boxes and he insisted that Dan was as serial killer who kept the items of his victims. This didn't help my original notion of Dan being a bit of a weirdo.
"Yeah," Tony flopped down next to me counting on his fingers, "one, he's a clean freak, two, and he's asked you to come to his place, three he's an archivist…"
"Hey!" I smacked Tony's arm. "I'm an archivist!"
Tony laughed and pushed me back on the couch.
Now I was back on Dan's couch and the safety of the memory was gone.
"You listening?" Two fingers snapped in front of my face.
I jolted a bit on the couch.
"Someone's a bit edgy." And I didn't like how he said 'edgy.' He said it smoothly like the time he pulled out the paper from behind his back. He could be stealthy at times and it unnerved me. Maybe Tony was right, or maybe I shouldn't have anymore talks about Dan being a serial killer.
But I needed to know, something inside me was pulling to that closet, "I need to go to the bathroom." I was pleasantly surprised that my voice didn't sound jumpy.
Dan looked at me and then placing the papers down said, "You know the way."
I nodded and got up and walked down the small hallway. I could still hear Dan shuffling through papers on the table. I thought about not opening them, it wasn't really any of my business.
I must not have debated with myself long because before I knew it I was staring up at the boxes. Now there was a new date for November on them. I reached up and pulled down October. Opening it up was what I had expected, my research and notes and clippings. Actually everything was clipped finely into pieces. As I moved aside the pieces I realized that he had saved everything I had written down.
I heard movement from the other end of the hallway and closed the box. Damning myself for being short and clumsy I attempted to place the box back in its spot. That was stupid; for one thing I was at an awkward angle so the box didn't fit in exactly as it had. Secondly, the angle I was at was now pushing the box next to it out and before I had a chance to retract my arm and push the box behind it back it had fallen to the floor.
Now both boxes were splayed on the floor exposing their contents. "Fuck," I whispered to myself.
Now the footsteps cropped up and I realized the movement from earlier was my imagination.
I tried to collect the pieces of papers and shove them back in the boxes. I glanced a few times at the floor but mostly I was waiting for Dan to come in and hack me up with a knife.
Then it was as if time stopped and I was staring at a picture of myself and my car. I couldn't make out much of the picture but in the few seconds I had I registered it was me but in the background was someone else.
Now Dan was now in the room looking down at me.
You know in some situations some people fly and some people fight; well I guess my instinct to fight was there. I said, "Sorry I heard a bump in the closet and when I opened the door the boxes just fell on the floor." It was a contorted but believable lie.
I didn't notice Dan's expression because I wasn't exactly looking at him, but his forehead.
He knelt down and then I felt his piercing eyes on me. I glanced up and he asked me if I had looked at the papers. I offered that some of them were my notes for the research and that it was smart of him to save everything.
I don't know if he bought it but he told me he'd clean it up later. I only spent another fifteen minutes at Dan's apartment before it was my scheduled time to leave. It was the longest fifteen minutes of my life and although I tried to act normal I couldn't forget what I saw.
When I left Dan's apartment I ran over to Tony's. The city seemed darker and creepier than usual. On that short walk I questioned whether I should tell Tony or keep my mouth shut. Tony may flip out and since he already had preconceived notions of Dan I knew it would be better not to say anything at all.
I pushed the button to enter and luckily not two seconds later I was let into the building.
Tony was waiting outside of his apartment for me in different apparel. He wasn't in his normal sweatpants and t-shirt but in what looked like his work clothes. He was dressed in a pair of gray pants and matching shirt.
"Very slick," I said to him.
He fixed his tie and led me into the apartment. "Only for you." He laughed and closed the door behind me. Tony's place seemed different.
