by Jordan Marie
Her body pushes deeper into mine, her nails bite into my back and again her body trembles. Without thought, I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. I sit on the bed and lean back against the headboard, bringing her against my chest and holding her.
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. She hasn’t shed them, but the moisture is gathered—I can see them, and I do not like them. Whatever she’s about to tell me, I already know that I’m not going to like this Brad.
Not at all.
44
Faith
I don’t know how long I’ve been in Titan’s arms. I don’t know and I don’t care. It feels like heaven and it’s something I’ve wanted since I left him in Colorado. As stupid as it sounds, it feels like coming home. He doesn’t question me further, he just holds me, his fingers sifting through my hair and his heartbeat vibrating in my ear. I want to stay like this, but I know I need to explain why I got upset. I need to tell him about Brad, if only because Brad seems to be intent on making sure I don’t forget him. So I take a deep, shuddering breath and pull my head from Titan’s chest to look up at him.
“Brad was my boyfriend,” I tell him and Titan’s face goes tight. I don’t know how I know what he’s thinking, but I do, and I reach up to move my thumb along the side of his chin. “I left him months before I ever met you in Vegas. He’s part of the reason I knew relationships and marriage weren’t ever going to be a part of my plan.”
“That ugly?” he asks, his voice so quiet that I don’t believe I’ve ever heard him talk that soft. “You seemed happy in that picture,” he adds and I know he didn’t mean it to sound like an accusation, but that’s how it feels. I’m just sensitive right now. As always, when dealing with anything related to Brad, I feel stupid.
“That picture wasn’t long after I met him and it was our first real date. I had stars in my eyes. Brad was the first man who ever acted like he cared about me. Hell, except for my dad, sisters, and my dad’s family, he was the only person. Which I guess, thinking on it, made me an easy mark.”
“How long were you with him?”
“Two years.”
“That’s a long time,” Titan says and he’s not wrong, but he’s also not right.
“I would have left him—should have left him way before I did. It hadn’t been good for over a year.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“I’m not sure. At first I thought it would get better, just a rough patch and all couples go through it… You know?” I ask, looking up at him. He nods slightly, but doesn’t speak, so I keep going. “But then, the arguments got louder, darker, and every time I started to leave Brad would do something to show me he loved me and was willing to start over. It began this cycle I never seemed to break free of. We’d fight, he’d break stuff and scare me, but he always apologized and promised to do better. He had a way of twisting words that made me feel like the fight… like our problems were all my fault. That I didn’t work hard enough to understand him, that I was the one failing him.”
Titan growls under his breath and holds me tighter. I curl deeper into him, soaking in the warmth of his body and letting it comfort me.
“Finish it, babe,” he says and again—I mourn the loss of the way he used to say wife.
Maybe I really am losing my mind.
“One night he came home. It was like three in the morning, and sadly, that was nothing new. He was drunk and again that wasn’t much different than the normal either.”
“Fucking loser,” Titan says and he’s not that wrong.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Had a good woman at home, ignored that. Took advantage of that and pissed it away. Fucking loser,” he says expanding his thoughts in a way that makes me feel a warm shiver run through my body and this one is all good. I lean up and kiss the corner of his chin, lightly in appreciation. I would have rather had his lips, but I couldn’t quite reach that far unless Titan bent down. He didn’t so I got what I could. That said, I had the taste of his skin on my tongue and that wasn’t a bad thing at all. “Finish it and then we’ll forget him,” Titan says, giving my body a squeeze.
“This time he had lipstick on his collar and he reeked of perfume—not my brand, not even close. When I asked him about it, he told me not to worry about it, that he brought his dick home to me.” Titan’s arms get tighter with that announcement, but I push through. “When he began undressing he told me to do the same. I didn’t want to be with him. Lately I hardly ever wanted to. I’d have to force myself sometimes. But that night, with him drunk and smelling like another woman—I really didn’t want to. He grabbed me and pinned me on the bed, and I fought him.”
“Motherfucker, I’ll kill him,” Titan growls, and the anger coming off of him now is huge. So huge it takes over the air in the room.
“Titan—”
“Finish it, Faith,” he orders and I swallow down my nerves.
“He ripped my panties and was about to rape me.”
“Finish it,” he growls when I stop, his voice so dark that I feel like I need to comfort him. I try to do that by holding him closer and kissing his neck. He shudders, and then says again, “Finish it.” This time his voice is softer, so maybe I helped some.
“I panicked. I know… I mean, with us and what we’ve done, Titan… You may not believe me, but I never, never have sex without protection. I insist on it. Life with my mother taught me that. I was scared of him raping me, but I would have endured it… But the thought of him taking that from me and not wearing a condom… it’s stupid. I know it’s stupid because it all was bad, but I couldn’t let him put my body at risk. I had to fight harder. So I did. I bit him. I did it hard enough that my mouth filled with blood and I didn’t let go until he let go of my wrists and hit me.”
“Son of a bitch!”
“Then, when I got free from his hold, I pushed my thumbs into his eyes hard like they teach you in those self-defense classes. He fell back and he swung at me again. He hit me hard enough that I was dizzy, but I managed to shake that off. I had so much adrenaline running through me. I managed to knee him in the balls. He fell from the bed and he was on the floor. The rest is kind of a haze. I remember running to the master bathroom. I locked the door and stayed there. He never came after me. I was so scared. I thought he would, but he didn’t. I started cleaning out my closet—it was in there and I got dressed and threw everything I could in my suitcase. I can remember choking on fear when I opened the door, but when I walked into the bedroom he was passed out on the floor snoring. I left and I didn’t look back.”
“You didn’t press charges?”
“I didn’t. I thought about it, but Brad had friends in the police department and judges he rubbed elbows with. I didn’t see doing that helping me. I just wanted away from him.”
“And he let you go?”
“He’d call here and there and ask me to come back. I took a couple of the calls, but I told him it was over. When he kept calling, I changed my number and made plans to leave Vegas.”
“And the night we met?”
“I’d run into Brad for the first time that morning. He was at the casino. He heard my sister was getting married. Black was with me and he intimidated Brad so he left. But I knew… if I didn’t leave Vegas that Brad would never let me see peace.”
“You should have told me this sooner,” Titan says, his voice rumbling.
“Why?”
“Are you shitting me?”
“Titan, we weren’t in a relationship, and you followed me to make that official. There’s no reason I would have told you.”
“Fair enough. Then here’s a warning you need to take to heart, Faith.”
“A warn—”
“We’re in a relationship from this moment on. You’re carrying my baby. Mine. We’re in a relationship and you’re mine. That gives it to you officially and I do not let anyone fuck with what is mine. You get it?”
“I… We’re in a relationship?”
“That’s w
hat I said.”
“Do I get a say here?”
“You do,” he confirms so I breathe a little easier.
“Then I don’t think—”
“You get to agree we’re in a relationship and that you understand no one is going to fuck with you from this moment on.”
I take a breath. I look at Titan and his face is stoic, heated, intense and it’s not all bad. In fact, I like a lot of what he’s saying. I’ve also missed him. Missed him so much I wake up aching. Still…
“Can you define relationship?” I ask, thinking we can start slowly and begin dating. We skipped that whole part, and dating Titan might be fun.
“I’ll define it for you,” he says and I breathe easier.
“That’d be good,” I smile, hoping to ease his mood, because he’s still really intense.
“I’m moving in,” he announces and I jump in his arms. I look at his face, which is set in stone.
Oh crap.
45
Titan
“Thanks for bringing my shit over,” I tell Black, who is standing at the door. He hands me my suitcase, but he hasn’t spoken and he refuses to move. I wait and there’s still no response. “Are you going to talk?”
“Faith is okay with you moving in here?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it means.”
“If she wasn’t, do you think I’d be standing here?”
“I don’t really know you, Titan. Except that you were an asshole to my cousin when she needed you to be a man. So to answer your question, I don’t know.”
I drop my bags on the floor and cross my arms, daring him to talk more shit. He’s not wrong; I was a dick to Faith when she told me about the baby. But until Black has chased a woman and had her walk out on him twice and then get sucker punched like I did that day at the church, he can shut his fucking mouth.
After Faith’s story about her ex, I’m needing a few things to punch and Black’s face is as good as any. We stand there, neither of us giving an inch, until Faith comes in from the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” she asks, immediately picking up on the tension in the room.
“I was just explaining to Titan that I wasn’t sure you really wanted him staying here,” Black says, his eyes not leaving mine.
“I was just explaining to Black he could go fuck himself,” I respond, not blinking.
“So really you guys are in a pissing match.”
Both of us grunt in reply to her.
“Black, I got to warn you, if the two of you are going to get in a contest to see who has the biggest dick, Titan will win.”
“What?” we both ask again, our gazes jerking to her instantly. Faith is leaning against the side of the sofa staring at both of us.
“I’m just saying that I’ve seen both and Titan’s is bigger. So if we could wrap this up sometime today, that’d be swell.”
“I doubt it’s bigger,” Black grumbles under his breath.
“When did you see his dick?”
I turn to face Faith then and before I had just been thinking about punching Black in the face. Now I need to.
“Several times.”
“Several times?” I bark.
“You’ve never seen it hard and ready though, and damn it, it’s plenty big. Probably bigger than this asshole’s,” Black mutters from behind me. He must have decided to come inside because he slams the door.
“I love you, Black, but it’s not.”
“When did you see his dick?” I growl again.
“Titan?”
“Answer me, Faith.”
“Oh my God! Are you jealous?”
“I want to know when you saw Black’s dick.”
“Several times,” she grins and it’s a grin that has her daring me to spank her ass.
“Tell me when,” I growl.
“I’ll have you know some women are afraid of my dick when they see it because it’s so big,” Black grumbles and God, I really want to punch him.
“Well, the first time I think I was three,” she grins and Christ, she’s busting my balls and enjoying it.
“It was even big back then.”
“Will you shut up about the size of your dick,” I growl.
“I just want it on record that my dick is not small. I’ve never had a complaint either, not one, and there’s been plenty of women, let me tell you. Plen—tee!”
I roll my eyes at him and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“So you’ve only seen his dick when you were kids. Quit trying to make me hit him, Faith.”
“I saw it again when I was four, maybe five,” she says smiling sweetly.
“You were older. What were you doing showing a kid your damn dick?” I growl, mad all over again and ready to kill Black.
“I’m not that much older! And we were playing farm. Plus, again, I’d like to point out that we were kids and my dick is definitely bigger now. Plus, again, I was not hard. There was no erection. It’s unfair to judge a man when he’s not rose to the occasion.”
“What the fuck is farm? You white people are fucking nuts,” I growl and Faith bursts out laughing.
It’s a beautiful sound, and she’s damn gorgeous—so gorgeous it hurts to look at her. So gorgeous that looking at her like this helps rid me of some of my anger. After what she shared with me earlier today and the pain I saw on her face, her laugh almost makes this shit worth it. I haven’t seen her this happy—this close to being the Faith I was drawn to, since we were in Buck-Stop and she was telling those old men I was a chick. Twisted as it is, I like it enough my bad mood is almost completely gone.
“Farm. Black, Blue, Hope, and I used to play it.”
“Blue?”
“Black’s twin. I don’t think you’ve met him. He’s been out of town.”
“Jesus, there’s two of you?”
“I’m the best, and might I add, I have the biggest dick of the two of us.”
“Your brother is named Blue,” I mumble, thinking it’s official that Ida Sue is the craziest woman I’ve ever met in my life. “What is farm and why in the hell couldn’t they play it with Petal or Maggie?”
“That’s our sister, C.T. What you’re suggesting is sick.”
“What?”
“It’s farm, where you milk the cows and throw corn out to the chickens, that kind of thing.”
“Milk the cow… You touched her breasts?”
“Well, technically they were udders,” Black says.
“You fucking pervert, and you let her touch your dick?”
“Well, that wasn’t part of the game.” Black shrugs.
“Then why did she touch it?” I turn to look at Faith. “Why did you touch it?”
“I’d never seen one and if they were going to touch my boobs, I was going to touch whatever they had.”
“I… Where in the hell were your parents while all this was going on?”
“You probably don’t want to ask that right now,” Black says.
“Is this only time you saw Black’s dick?”
“Well, no. I was staying the night with Petal and Black was out in the barn with that girl. What was her name? Do you remember, Black?”
“Not really. There’s been a lot of girls. Because I have a very big dick.”
“Oh, come on, you can’t forget her,” Faith argues.
I’m starting to get a headache.
“A very big dick which is highly in demand,” he adds. Jesus.
“Remember, Black,” Faith continues, ignoring him. “She was dating White at the time.”
“Ohhh… You mean Candy.”
“Yeah! God, she was such an airhead. She was an insult to blondes. Really, women like her is why blondes have bad names,” Faith huffs. “I wonder whatever happened to her?”
“She was a porn star for a while. At least until her fake boobs burst.”
“Oh my God! They burst?” Faith cries.
“Yeah. Don’t worry, though. Her h
usband does that shit for a living. She’s like a Double V now.”
“Double V?” I ask, because I can’t keep up with her crazy, but fuck, Double V tits are worth at least looking at once in your life.
“Yeah, and I know what you’re thinking, C.T.”
“Doubtful.”
“I do, but you’re wrong. Some things should not be seen. You never get it out of your head. Turns out boobs can be too big—unlike dicks. Did I mention my dick is above average in size? And width really. Everyone knows that width is more important too.”
“You need to let it go, Black,” I start, but I don’t get the rest of my thought out because a throw pillow hits me in the head.
“C.T.?”
“Faith—”
“As in the C.T. that owns this fucking house?”
“Faith—”
“As in the C.T. with a temperature so huge he couldn’t be bothered to come and collect the rent? That C.T.?”
“Fuck, sorry, man. It just slipped out,” Black says, but I ignore him. I’m concentrating on Faith.
A very pissed off Faith.
46
Faith
“That is not cool of you, Ida Sue. We’re family and you always told me family can depend on each other.”
“And we can, even when one is being stubborn as a mule and needs a lot of help getting out of the barn shed.”
“You knew I wanted to stand on my own. I didn’t want Titan’s help. I got myself into this situation and…”
“I’m thinking his ding dong helped get you that way.”
“His ding dong?”
“Not all my nicknames can be golden, dear. I get it. You’re mad I let C.T. stand up and be a man, which he should have been from the beginning. I’d feel guilty but there’s people starving in the world. There’s bigger problems than you having a god put a bun in your oven and wanting to play house. Are we done here?”
