by Ellie Cahill
That I could see. He’d always been a really devoted boyfriend. At least to the girl he was dating in college. Almost too devoted. It was how he’d almost ended up married to her. “He was always a sweetie,” I agreed.
“I remember when she was on crutches for like a week last semester, and he carried all her books for her to class, and he would even carry her up the stairs. Swoon! It was like something out of a movie. But, like, they don’t make you want to gag, you know? It just works for them.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, but it was more out of courtesy than any real feeling on the subject. I didn’t have a huge pool of experience of Emmy and Beckett as a couple. The strange, newness of seeing them together obscured any sense I got of how movie-like they might be.
“Were they like that in college, too?” she asked, “Or did they used to be one of those super cutesy couples that makes you want to throw things at them?”
Once again, I was deeply grateful for my dark sunglasses. What on earth was she talking about? I felt so disoriented that I didn’t know how to answer. My natural inclination to please made me say, “No, they weren’t like that.” It was a truthful answer. Ish.
“I guess when you find the right person, you find the right person.” Mandy shrugged.
“Maybe we’ll all get so lucky…” I said absently. My mind was barely present anymore. And thankfully, I wasn’t thinking about my own situation. “‘Scuse me for a second,” I murmured to Mandy, getting to my feet.
She didn’t seem concerned, lowering herself to rest on her crossed arms for more sunbathing.
I went back to the sun bed I vacated to find Brady and Hadley. They appeared to be snoozing. He with one arm around her, and she with her head on his chest.
“Hey.” I didn’t really care if I woke them at the moment, but both of them opened their eyes quickly. They’d just been relaxing. “Do you guys know when Emmy and Beck got together?” I asked.
Hadley shook her head and let her eyes drift shut again.
“Not sure,” Brady said. “Why?”
“It wasn’t while they were still in California, was it?” I asked.
“No.” He sounded certain. “Remember? Emily? That whole clusterfuck?”
“Yeah.” I remembered. I remembered perfectly. The night Emily broke up with Beckett was the same night Jake and I had kissed. It kind of stayed in my brain. But when you get conflicting information like I’d just gotten, you can’t help but question your memories.
“It happened in Iowa,” he said. “I’m sure of that.”
“Shit gets weird in Iowa,” Hadley said softly, without opening her eyes.
Brady grinned and gave her a squeeze. Private joke, I assumed.
“Hmm.”
“What?” he said.
“Nothing…I just…something I heard.”
“Okay.” He yawned. “What time do we have to be ready for this wedding?”
“Five,” I said.
“Plenty of time for a nap.”
I left them to their beach sleeping, and retrieved my phone. I had intended to leave Ashley alone if that was what she wanted. Wherever she and Luke had ended up, it wasn’t here and it wasn’t in my room. Their absence might be telegraphing some information to the rest of the guests, but it was definitely less solid information than if they’d been right here, flirting, or even trying not to flirt in full view of everyone.
I sent her a text: Do you know when Em & Beck got together?
There was no answer for a few minutes. I didn’t think too hard about what might be keeping her from her phone.
Ashley: Not sure. Sometime last year.
Me: He never cheated on Emily, did he?
Ashley: NEVER.
Ashley: Why are you asking me this right now?
Me: Nothing. Just wondering.
Ashley: Weird thing to wonder.
I supposed it was. I probably had no business concerning myself with the details of Emmy and Beck’s relationship. Did it really matter when they’d gotten together? Did it affect me in anyway? Would it change the fact that they were getting married today? No, I told myself. But the Scooby Doo department of my brain insisted that something wasn’t adding up. And my curiosity was piqued, to say the least.
I’d always been the curious sort. Okay, maybe nosy. It wasn’t my fault. People had always felt compelled to tell me things! And when most people give it up voluntarily, you can’t help but be curious about everyone else’s secrets.
There were so few secrets I wasn’t privy to, I couldn’t help but wonder about them. Besides, it gave me something else to think about.
On that subject, the only person I really wanted to share my thoughts with was Jake. We could dissect it together. I knew I could trust him to reel me in if that was what I needed. And he’d never tell anyone else if I swore him to secrecy.
But considering I’d told him he basically didn’t fit in my life plans, he might not be in the mood to play detective with me. So, I was just stuck with a possible secret, and no one to talk to.
I knew one thing. I couldn’t stay on the beach and pretend nothing was wrong any longer. I gathered my stuff and gave an excuse about being hot and wanting to take a shower. Everyone else would be heading in shortly, I knew. The wedding ceremony wasn’t too long from now.
After that, I just had to get through a little more time being with Jake in person before he flew back to Chicago, and very likely out of my life forever.
Best not to think about that until I absolutely had to.
21
Advice of Varying Qualities
The sound of the door opening jarred me out a nap I hadn’t intended to take. I sat bolt upright in bed, dislodging my earbuds in the process.
“Mary?” It was Ashley.
“Yeah?”
“Oh my god, I’ve been freaking out! Why didn’t you answer any of my texts?”
“What texts?” I picked up my phone from the nightstand, finding the screen full of missed messages.
Ashley pointed to her own phone. “I take it you didn’t see the message from Emmy?”
“What message?”
“She wants us to meet her fifteen minutes early for the wedding.”
“She does?” I tapped into my phone, surfing through the many missed messages to find the one from Emmy. There it was, just as Ashley’d said.
“What does she want from us?” I asked, but I was already texting a reply to her. Of course I’d be there. Sorry I didn’t answer right away, etc.
“Don’t know.” Ashley shrugged. “But we need to be sure we’re ready in time.”
“You’re right.” I started to get up, then paused. “Where have you been all day?”
She pointed to my phone again. “I told you we were going to the resort next door. I asked if you wanted to come.”
“You did?”
She only arched her eyebrows in response.
“I’m sorry!” I said. “You must have sent them while I was out running. I was out of WiFi range for a while.”
Ashley went on, “I figured you were mad at me, and that’s why you weren’t answering my texts.”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” I said. That was a teeny bit of a lie. Well, okay, so maybe mad was a strong word. But I didn’t need to nitpick.
“Well, whatever. I shouldn’t have teased you so much,” Ashley said.
“Thank you.”
She brightened. “So does that mean you’ll give me all the juicy details?”
“No juicy details to give,” I said.
“Oh come on. Give me something! I saw you guys last night.”
I closed my eyes against the memory. “Yeah, well. That was last night.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means…that’s over.”
“Okay, what the hell happened?”
“Let’s just say we want different things. Or, we want them in different places, I guess is more accurate.”
“What’s wrong with this place?” she aske
d. “You’re here. Now. Together. What’s the problem?”
“I’m more concerned about what happens after we’re here and we’re not together.”
“Que será sera,” Ashley said. “That’s tomorrow’s problem.”
“I don’t work like that.”
“Well, you’re missing out. I’m having a grand time, personally.”
I wasn’t about to get into another round of Ashley’s Guide to Flings vs. Mary’s Commitment Addiction. “We should get ready,” I said. “We can’t be late for Emmy.”
We took turns in the shower, doing our best to rush through our routines. It was familiar, sharing the mirror with Ashley. During our years as roommates, we’d shared two bathrooms—one for the guys and one for the girls. I had so many memories of Emmy, Ashley, and I lined up along the narrow vanity, laughing and singing along with the music that blared from the tiny speaker we kept on the back of the toilet. Ashley was the one who taught me how to use eyeliner.
Now, she caught my eyes in the mirror. “Too bad Em’s not here.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
We smiled at each other, and for a moment, I was really glad I was here after all. It had been awfully good to see my friends again. My heart squeezed at the thought that the six of us might never be together in the same place again.
“I really screwed things up with Jake,” I said.
“You can still fix it.”
This called for more than mirror eye contact. I turned to face her. “I don’t think so.”
“Jake would have walked through fire for you back in college. That kind of feeling doesn’t just go away.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I said.
“Whatever you need to believe,” she said. “I’m just saying, maybe it wasn’t as bad as you think.”
“It was a deal breaker.”
“We’ll see.” And those were her final words on the subject as the song changed and she began to sing along. The conversation was over for now. That was fine with me. I wanted to focus on Emmy and Beck for now.
22
The Wedding Party Draft
We found Emmy waiting with her dad, Beck, and his parents near the pool. The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I was going to cry. She looked so beautiful. Her wedding dress was simple. Unadorned, flowing white fabric in a deep V in front, with thin spaghetti straps that crossed over her back. The waist was cinched in a wide band, and the skirt danced in the constant ocean breeze. Her long, dark hair was loosely curled around her shoulders and she wore a crown of flowers on her head. No veil. Hardly any jewelry. Just simple, wedding perfection.
“Oh my god, Emmy, you’re gorgeous!” I ran up to give her a hug, followed by Ashley.
Emmy was positively beaming. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were flush with happiness. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“And what am I?” Beck asked. “Chopped liver?”
“You’re beautiful, too,” Ashley said in a patronizing tone, but she smiled as she leaned in to hug him and leave a kiss on his cheek. Beckett did look great. He wore gray pants and a white shirt with suspenders and no tie. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to the elbow. The look was casual, but still put-together. Overall, they looked like the perfect couple for a beach wedding.
“I thought you weren’t supposed to see each other before the ceremony,” I said.
“Old wives’ tale,” Beckett said, with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“Besides, we did a bunch of pictures already,” Emmy added.
“And we’re sharing a hotel room,” he said.
“And we live together.” Emmy grinned.
“Details.” Ash waved a hand dismissively.
“Here they come,” Beck announced, looking over our heads.
I turned, and spotted Jake and Brady making their way toward us. Of course they were coming. If I’d given it any thought, I wouldn’t have even considered another possibility. Still, my heart began to beat a nervous tattoo.
Not that I really expected him to point his finger at me and start shouting, ‘You ruined my life!’ but it was a relief that Jake didn’t say anything when they reached us.
“Thanks for being here,” Emmy said when we were all gathered.
“You guys are like family. You know that, right?” Beck asked.
I was already tearing up, and all I could do was nod.
Emmy’s voice cracked when she spoke again. “We’d love it if all of you would stand up for us in this wedding.”
No one spoke for a second. I think we were all stunned into silence. But Brady spoke for all of us when he raised a hand for a high five and said, “Hell yeah.”
Beck smiled and slapped his hand, grasping it and pulling our broad-shouldered friend into a manly hug. Then Brady scooped Emmy up in a hug that pulled her off her feet. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I thought you weren’t having a bridal party!” Ashley admonished, snatching the bride into a hug as soon as Brady released her.
“We didn’t want anyone to go to any trouble,” Emmy explained. “We were already asking you guys to come to Mexico with us. We didn’t want to add dresses and suits, or any of that stuff.”
“We would have done it,” I said, taking my turn to hug them both. Tears escaped my eyes, making me glad I had waterproof mascara on.
“I know you would have.” Emmy cupped my face and smiled. “That’s why we love you guys.”
“We love you, too,” I said without hesitation.
The love fest went on for a few more minutes, with all of us hugging and trying not to cry and affectionately scolding our friends for not telling us sooner. Ash and Emmy and I were all sniffling and carefully wiping our eyes, and I noticed the guys looked bright-eyed and emotional, too, even if they weren’t willing to break into tears.
The only person I didn’t hug was Jake, even though my arms ached to reach for him. Part of me knew he’d let me. For cover in front of the bride and groom if nothing else. But I wouldn’t put that pressure on him. Still we made eye contact. I couldn’t look away for too long. I was staring, I knew it. But I couldn’t help myself. Finally I gave him a little smile and he looked away before his lips curved up in a responding smile.
Jake, I’m so sorry. I pushed the thought out forcefully into the ether, hoping he’d catch it.
23
I Dos and Don’ts
There ceremony was on the beach. Of course. Why else get married at a beach resort? There weren’t many chairs set out, since the guest list was small, but it was an excited group. The mood was definitely joyful.
We obviously hadn’t had any kind of rehearsal, but the wedding planner had everything well under control. When the music started, the planner grabbed my hand and tucked it into Jake’s elbow. I didn’t even have time to think before she nudged us in the back and sent us down the aisle.
We didn’t speak. Not that we had much time. It was a very short walk. Just a few steps down a white cloth strewn with flowers and we’d reached Beck, who was standing by the officiant. I’d seen enough movies to know that we were supposed to stand on either side of the aisle. I gave Beck a kiss on the cheek before I took my place, and Jake shook his hand. Apparently Ash and Brady had seen those same movies because they followed suit when they came down the white cloth.
The music changed to the traditional bridal march and then Emmy and her dad did their walk. I was so busy looking at how beautiful Emmy was that for a second, I forgot to look at Beck. But when I did, I was so glad I’d remembered. He looked utterly and completely thrilled to be waiting for his bride.
I thought my heart my explode I was so overcome with emotion. Beck, who’d been dumped by a girl he’d thought he’d spend the rest of his life with, had gone on to find his real love. And she’d been there all along. Sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you. Or you’ve put something in your own way to block the view.
It took Emmy and Beck moving to Iowa to find each other.
And here they were, telling the world that this was forever.
Emmy and her dad stopped at the head of the aisle. I couldn’t hear what he whispered to her, but when she turned to face us again, there were tears in her eyes. But then she looked at Beckett and grinned. He tipped his head once, as if to say “get over here.” And she did.
The ceremony was short, and in a mix of English and Spanish. Between the sound of the ocean and the low volume on the sound system it was hard to hear everything they said, but no one seemed to mind. I glanced at the crowd a few times and saw nothing but happy faces.
After the rings and the I do’s, there was nothing left but the kiss. Beckett cupped Emmy’s face in his hands and although I could barely hear him, I saw the words he said, “You ready this time?” Then he winked at her and planted a kiss on her that made the assembled guests cheer.
They turned to face the crowd and raised joined hands between them. The officiant shouted loud enough for everyone to hear this time, “Mr. Beckett Anderson and Mrs. Emily Black!”
The recessional was quick and led immediately onto a reserved area of the pool deck where there were champagne flutes waiting for everyone. According to what the wedding planner had told us before the ceremony, our job as bridesmaids and groomsmen was pretty much over at this point. Beck and Em had opted for a pretty no-frills reception. There would be food, toasts, and cake, but it was all low-key. The small party made it easy enough for them to greet everyone personally and the fact that we’d all been hanging out together for days already meant that no one was trying to elbow their way in to say hello to the happy couple for the first time.
“I gotta say, this destination wedding thing is a pretty sweet set-up,” Brady said as he and Hadley joined me at one of the high tables.
“Cheers to that.” Hadley held up her glass for him to clink against, but her sip was fake. I don’t know if Brady noticed or not.
“What do you think, HB? You ready to throw down in a bouquet toss?”
