He said, "I'll buy if you fly."
I couldn't refuse because I was starving, so I ran to the food court and ordered us some sandwiches from Chili's.
Five o’clock arrived before I knew it, and while I sat on the bus to go to the parking lot, I decided to call Alex. I was hoping he would be home for dinner today.
“Hello.”
“Hi, honey. How are you?” I asked.
“I’m busy.” He sighed like he was irritated.
“Oh, I was hoping you could make it home for dinner today. I’m on my way to get Lucia from after school care.”
“Mia, I can’t. Being the CEO of this company is not easy. I have idiots working here, and I have to fix their mistakes. Paperwork never ends, and we are doing some employee replacements,” he spat out. I flinched and scowled at his reaction to my simple request.
“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up,” he said.
I sighed. I was sick of his attitude and disregard for his family.
“That’s fine, Alex. Lucia and I will have dinner alone as usual. It’s not like we know any different. You work seven days a week and never find time for us,” I whisper-yelled. There were a few other people on the bus, and I didn’t want them to hear my conversation.
“Look, Mia, this is not the time to get into this. I gotta go, okay?”
“Well, it’s never the time, is it? Do I need to make an appointment to speak with you, since you’re never home for us to have any sort of conversation? You’re gone before I wake up, and you come home after I’m asleep. This isn’t normal, Alex,” I huffed.
I could feel the blood rushing to my head in anger. My limbs began to tingle, and my nasty temper was signaling that I had sat back long enough. I knew I shouldn’t have let this build up so long, but I had tried to remember he wanted the best for us. He was a dedicated employee; I just wished he was as dedicated to Lucia and me as he was to his job.
“Mia, I gotta go. This is ridiculous. I’m doing this for us. I have invested a lot of time here, and I know it will pay off one day.”
“Bye, Alex,” I said, my voice laced with venom, and hung up. I didn’t even want to hear him say goodbye. I was so angry I didn’t want to hear him at all.
I picked up my precious girl from school, turning my angry tingles into gooey happiness. Lucia was so excited to see me, and my chest felt tight with pride and guilt. I wished she knew what fun with her dad felt like. Who knew if she’d ever have the chance to experience that? I had no idea, and it scared me.
My arms wrapped around her in a hug and I smothered her face with kisses.
“Hi, baby girl. I missed you today.”
She giggled from the kisses and said, “I missed you too, Momma.”
When we got home, she sat at the bar on her stool and started on her homework while I cooked dinner.
Our galley-style kitchen was spacious, and the breakfast bar backed up to the living room. The whole condominium had an open floor plan, so you could see the dining room, living room, and kitchen all at once.
I breaded and fried some chicken cutlets, sautéed some spinach with garlic, and made garlic mashed potatoes. When dinner was finished cooking, I set the table for two, and Lucia and I sat down to eat. Lucia told me about her day and seemed interested in what I did at work while she was at school learning.
After dinner, I cleaned up the table, and then helped Lucia pack up her school stuff for the following day. Bath time came next. Lucia soaked in the tub and played with her toys while I washed her up and rinsed her off when her skin pruned
It was my turn to pick out the book to read to her, which I did while she put on her pajamas. She jumped on the bed, and I tucked her in and lay next to her while I read Tallulah’s Solo. Lucia’s head was on my chest, and my arm was wrapped around her. I loved being with her like this, but it always saddened me that her dad was never here to read to her or tuck her in.
That was how our weekdays passed. Every day, one after the other.
Chapter 5
Dodge Ball
One weekend afternoon, Susan, Lucia, and I spent the day at the Getty Center to look at their newest exhibition. Lucia participated in the kid’s crafts while Susan and I examined the artwork, and then we three ate lunch at the museum restaurant.
While we ate, we hardly spoke a word, and the silence allowed crazy thoughts to run through my mind. The most wild idea popped into my head, and I whispered to Susan to see if she was available that evening. She agreed to sit with Lucia while I brought dinner to surprise my husband at work. This was not going to be a sexy-surprise. Instead, I was going to confront him and tell him that if things continued on the way they were going, we might not last much longer as a family. I did everything on my own anyway, so being an official single mom wouldn’t be much different for me.
After we arrived home from the museum, I made dinner and entertained Lucia with Susan. The food was packed and ready to bring to Alex. I kissed Lucia and thanked Susan for staying.
“Oh, please, girl. I love spending time with her, and you have business to take care of. Go!” She laughed and pushed me out the door.
“Okay, okay. Thanks, Susan. Bye, Lucia. Love you,” I yelled from the hallway outside my door.
~*~*~
I pulled up to the valet in front of the Century Plaza Towers in Century City. The buildings were impressive, each with forty-four floors. Their triangular shape jutted high into the skyline, and their reflective windows made the buildings look like sparkling water in the sky.
The company Alex worked for took up four floors, with Alex’s office on the thirtieth. I rode the elevator all the way up and made my way to his office. It was seven o’clock, and there were only a few lights still on. The receptionists’ desks were all empty, and when I walked to the back of the expansive space to Alex’s door, I saw light coming from underneath. His assistant’s desk was cleaned up for the night, but there was a sweater hanging over the back of her chair and a purse on her workspace.
I knocked on the door. When no one answered, I walked in. His office was quite grand. Straight ahead was a dark mahogany desk. Behind the desk was a big bookshelf in black wood and mahogany molding with books, small statues and figurines, white decorative bottles, and a few pictures in silver frames. To the left of the bookshelf was a door that blended with the mahogany molding and could not be seen easily, but it led to his private bathroom.
There were plants on the floor, placed in the corners of the office, and two chrome chairs sat in front of the desk. To the right was a wall of windows that looked out into the courtyard of the towers. To the left was a black coffee table with four black leather club chairs surrounding it.
Beyond the sitting area were glass doors that led to his conference room, which was filled with a long mahogany table and black leather chairs.
The sound of a vacuum droned in the distance, and the smell of lemon Pledge filled the air, evidence of the evening cleaners.
I didn’t see him in the office or sitting area, so I walked to the bathroom door, which was opened a crack. When I approached, I heard voices, so I stood as quiet as I could to hear what was going on inside.
I heard a woman crying.
I placed the bag of food down on the floor and stood at the crack of the door, peeking in. Alex had the woman in his arms. Her highlighted blond hair covered the parts of her face not planted in my husband’s chest. Her hands were grabbing fistfuls of his shirt while she sobbed and sobbed.
He whispered that it would be all right, and she cried that she was tired of being the other woman and wanted him all to herself. I stiffened and felt heat rushing up my body all the way to my head.
Through her sobs, she cried, “It’s been three years, Alex. All you have done is promise me you would leave her. You’re never home, and you never see her, so why do you hang on?”
The soft hands that used to caress me were soothing her, rubbing circles on her back.
“Sshh, it’s okay, Amber. I promise I will
speak to her soon. You’re right; I haven’t been much of a husband to her in years. It’s been just you for so long. You don’t deserve this,” he cooed.
She hiccupped, and my blood rushed like lava through my veins. My limbs trembled and tingled, yet I couldn’t walk away from what I had just seen and heard.
I pulled the door open all the way, and Alex’s head popped up in shock. When he saw me, his eyebrows almost touched his hairline. His blue eyes were bulging, and he released the girl immediately.
When she turned around, I got a better look at her. She was about an inch or two taller than me and had gray eyes. She looked young, but I couldn’t be sure. Her figure was fuller than mine, and her chest was huge.
“Honey, wh-what are you doing here?” His voice was high-pitched and revealed his nervousness.
My hands were in tight fists, my arms stiff. While I stalked my husband, the girl backed away, still facing me. I wanted to hit Alex him for lying to me, for deceiving me, and most of all, for neglecting his little girl as he had been for years.
“Don’t play me, you jerk! I heard everything I needed to know. Here I was, thinking you were working hard for us, instead you were here working on this ... this ... whore!” I screamed.
The girl paled, and her eyes went wide. She cried even louder, and it made me crazy. She didn’t have the right to cry. She was involved in this mess. I spun around to address her.
“What the hell are you crying for? You’re about to get everything you wanted. I hope you’re proud of yourself for breaking up a family and taking him away from us. His daughter doesn’t even know him, and he sleeps in the same house as her.”
Alex, still standing next to Amber, had paled considerably. Sweat dripped from his hair to his ears — from nerves, I assumed. He swayed and looked unsteady, and I watched him brace himself against the wall, trying to keep from passing out.
“I’ll pack up your shit and leave it outside the house tomorrow. Don’t bother coming home . . . ever!” My face contorted in disgust. “I’ll find an attorney, and you can have the divorce you’ve wanted so you can start a new life with her,” I spat out the last few words, and I jerked my chin in her direction.
“Thank God your daughter doesn’t know you exist. At least it won’t be difficult to explain why you don’t live with us anymore.” With that, I turned around and walked out with my head held high.
“Mia, Mia! Wait!” he yelled, running after me. “Look, it’s not as if you’ve cared these past five years. You acted like I didn’t exist!” he yelled some more.
“You should have just asked me for a divorce years ago. It’s not like I would have missed you.” I told him as I kept walking, shaking my head in disbelief. “It all makes sense now.”
I pushed the button for the elevator incessantly, hoping my action would make it come faster. Thirty fucking floors I had to wait.
Alex was approaching me, and I just wanted to be gone. In all honesty, I didn’t feel hurt, just betrayed and angry. I hated lies and deceit. If I had known all those years that he was spending his time with another woman, I would have let him go. Why would I want to be married to someone who didn’t want me?
The ding of the elevator alerted me to its arrival. I jumped in and pushed the button to close the door over and over. When the doors closed and I was alone, I knew I was safe from seeing him again — for tonight, anyway.
While I drove home, my mind was weighed down with thoughts of the future. What would we do with the condo? Would Alex want shared custody of Lucia? Would he move in with that husband-thief? Too many questions I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to.
When I walked into the house, Susan was on the sofa reading quietly. It was late, so Lucia was already asleep. Susan looked up when she heard me enter and, by the expression on her face, she knew something was wrong.
“That was quick. What happened?” she asked.
I squinted my eyes and shook my head. Putting my stuff down on the bar, I walked over to the sofa.
Susan slid her book onto the coffee table and turned to face me.
“What happened? Tell me.”
“Oh, Susan,” I breathed. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I broke down for the first time since I’d left his office.
“I got there, and he was consoling some woman in his bathroom.” I wiped my tear-filled eyes with the heel of my hand, and Susan paled and sat back, stunned and silent.
“The short of it is: they’re together, and I’m in the way,” I said.
“What?” Susan stood up with her hands fisted and her face bright red with anger. “Why aren’t you crazy pissed off?”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it; I just feel relieved. Angry and upset, yes, but most of all relieved.” I sighed and thought about Lucia. And although I felt glad that he would be gone soon, I was pissed off that he had strung me along for all those years and betrayed me with another woman. In the immediate sense, I wanted him to suffer, but the deeper truth was that I didn’t want to waste any more energy on him. He didn’t deserve it. Lucia was my number one priority.
“How am I going to tell Lucia? Oh, and I told him I was packing his shit tomorrow and leaving it outside,” I said, laughing nervously at my own boldness. Maybe I was losing it.
“Hey, I’ll be here while you tell her, and I’ll stay the night so I can help you tomorrow. Okay?” Susan grabbed my hand and squeezed. I nodded in thanks and looked around the room, making a mental list of what was his – what would be out the door come tomorrow.
Chapter 6
Hopscotch
It was Saturday night and time for my faithful call to my cousin and childhood friend, Lori. We kept each other informed on the latest gossip.
For instance, I knew Vitto was looking to move out of Boston and was shopping around for jobs. He had graduated from MIT and had a good job, but now he wanted a change. He was some sort of computer genius and made a ton of money.
Lori, two years younger than me, had gone to design school in New York when I started my junior year of college, and she had been living there ever since. She had met a wonderful man and married him a few years ago. Now she was working on her own label of clothes and trying to get it noticed. Most of the time when we spoke it was about fashion week and samples that she wanted to send me. She would say, “Mia, I found this wonderful fabric that would look great as a dress for you. I’m going to put it together and send it. I want you to model it for me and send me some pictures for my portfolio.” And I did, every time. I had a lot of her original pieces, and her clothes were gorgeous.
Lori and I were the closest out of all of my cousins. Vitto came in second, even though he was a year older. I didn’t talk to their brothers and sisters as often since they had been so much younger than us growing up. I moved away before I had the chance to bond with them. Our big Italian-American family was always in everyone’s business. We didn’t have to speak to everyone to let them know what was going on in our lives. All I had to do was tell my mother something, and the whole family would know the story in minutes. Likewise, I could call my mom on any given day, and she would know what they were up to, as well. She could dish out all of their stories to me, like how Vitto and Lori’s younger sister, Monica, was already on her third kid at just twenty years old, or Lori's youngest brother kept getting suspended from school for fighting, or the second youngest brother had dropped out.
I sat on the balcony, curled on the lounge chair with a cup of tea and dialed Lori’s number.
“It’s about time you called,” she said in her usual impatient manner.
I laughed and replied, “I just got Lucia down for bed. How are you?” I sipped my tea and scanned the olive trees surrounding my balcony.
“I’m good, but what I want to know is how you are.”
I laughed at her Bostonian accent, wishing I still had mine. The minute I moved to Los Angeles, I worked to lose it so I wouldn’t sound different from the other kids in school.
“I’m good, tha
nks. I’ve adjusted mentally and accepted that I am now in possession of a failed marriage,” I said.
“Hey, stop that. You did nothing wrong.”
“I considered that at first, but now I am wondering if I could have done something to change how the events played out. What’s done is done, though. I know this.”
I wrapped my hands around my teacup and cradled the phone between my shoulder and ear. A beautiful pair of gray doves landed on the teal green wooden banister at the opposite end of the balcony, and they sat looking back at me. Thinking about putting a bird feeder or birdhouse out for them, I recalled someone telling me that doves mated for life. What an interesting concept nowadays, I thought.
Placing the throw over my legs, I curled up on the chair a bit more tightly to battle the coolness of the night. “We’ve settled on everything,” I continued. “He gave me half of everything except the house — that he left to me entirely. His attorney was pissed, but I guess Alex was trying to do something right.”
“Ugh, that’s just so wrong.” Lori sounded disgusted. “So he’s going to fill your pocketbook and pretend that takes care of all he’s done?” she spat through the phone.
“I guess, but it’s not like I had him around over the years anyway. I did everything on my own.” I leaned my head back, trying to figure out what I had done to keep our marriage alive since Lucia had been born. I shook my head at myself in chastisement. And then I told her what I didn’t want to believe myself: “God — and this is going to sound bitchy — but I didn’t need him for anything, and, in all honesty, I’ve come to the conclusion that it was how I wanted it.” I sighed at the truth. “I’ll be set for a while. But he didn’t want visitation rights at all. He said he didn’t know Lucia before and doesn’t want to now. That it’s too late. Ugh! That’s what has me so upset. Her own father doesn’t want her. I mean who does that?” I gritted through clenched teeth.
My Mr. Manny Page 3
