“Yeah, but that was an accident,” I choked out between the belly laughs that were wracking my body.
We were both laughing so loudly that Lucia came in to see what was happening with a face full of wonderment. “What are you guys doing?” she asked.
Dominic and I looked at each other, and then another round of laughter poured from us.
When she didn’t receive an answer, Lucia just huffed in exasperation and stormed out of the room.
Dominic was so easy to spend time with. He was kind and giving, and I hoped that I would never take advantage of that. I needed to figure out how to always remember that his kindness was a gift. Women took advantage of nice men all the time. I was sure he would keep me grounded, and, when needed, he could put me in my place.
Part of our new routine was ending the day with conversation and a movie, and it seemed we were both anxious to put Lucia to bed at eight so we could get to it. We began to get to know each other better since we had time to speak without interruption. The first night we talked, I told him more about my childhood and about growing up in Boston.
“Tell me one thing you liked about living there that you miss.”
That was an easy question to answer.
“The biggest one was being surrounded by my family. I had my aunt and uncle next door with my six cousins, and I spent all of my spare time with them. When I moved here it was just my father and me.”
I hated saying that out loud and sounding like I was looking for pity. Although it hadn’t been my choice, I thought I did pretty well on my own at the time. “I always wanted to have a big brood of my own. I hope someday I can give Lucia many brothers and sisters,” I said wistfully.
He held my hand and squeezed. “You will,” Dominic said with conviction.
The next night, we settled down with popcorn and A Beautiful Life, which I thought was a wonderful movie even though it felt slow.
“It’s my turn to ask a question.” Turning to face him on the sofa I ran my hand down his arm to draw his attention to the natural bronze color of his skin. “What nationality are you?” I had to ask, because I was always interested in the origin of things and people.
“That’s it? That’s an easy one. Okay, let’s see . . . My father’s family is English, hence my English name. In fact, I’m named after him. I’m Dominic Roberts, Jr,” he said with pride. “But my mother is Greek with a little French thrown in. You’ll see when you meet her that her skin is like mine and my brother’s. My mother’s father was born in Greece, and her maiden name was Panas.”
“Wow, no wonder you’re so beautiful. What are your parents and grandparents like?” I asked with honest curiosity before my face pinked up at my outburst.
He shook his head in amusement and sat up straighter to finish telling me about his family. “I don’t remember my grandparents at all since they died when I was young. But my parents are . . . I don’t know . . . I’d say they are prim and proper but down-to-earth, if that makes sense. I mean, they run in high society circles and always pushed us to excel in college and life, but when I decided to change my career, they were behind me all the way. They were so supportive and never tried to change my mind. I respect them for that and am very lucky to have them,” he said with a faraway look on his face. I knew he must miss them.
Each night that passed, I noticed we would sit closer and closer together on the sofa, and Dominic’s arm would end up behind me when it rested on the back of the couch.
One night, we watched one of my all-time favorite movies, The Notebook, which Dominic admitted to never having seen. When it ended, I looked over at him and saw him place his forefinger and thumb under each eye trying to hold in the tears. I thought it was funny that he didn’t want me to see how much it affected him. Even though I wanted to tease him about it, I was touched that he felt secure enough to cry. It showed how big his heart was, and I cared for him even more because of it. But he still deserved to get busted.
“Aww, are you crying?” I teased.
He pulled his hand down and I bumped him with my shoulder.
“No!” he said a bit too fast.
I laughed, wanting to tease him a little. “Come on. It’s okay. Real men cry, too.”
He huffed and began tickling me. “I wasn’t. My eyes were itchy, and I didn’t want to rub them. That always makes it worse.”
Shrieks escaped me at that point because he began tickling me. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but he wouldn’t relent. I squirmed and pushed him away, but he was too strong, so I used the oldest trick in the book. “Stop, please! I have to pee! I don’t want to pee on you,” I panted, out of breath.
Dominic stopped right away, but I didn’t attempt to move. His hands gripped my sides.
“You’re such a faker, Mia. You don’t play fair.”
“Never said I did.”
We looked at each other for a long moment, and then his mouth connected with mine. His lips were unsure at first, and I responded in an instant. My hands went to his shoulders and caressed his neck. I dug my fingers into the layers of hair and down to his shoulders, making short circuits up and down. Dominic’s hands slid up my sides to my neck and face. With his thumbs, he caressed my cheeks, and I pulled back, looking into his hooded and glistening eyes and seeing such sincerity there. The tips of his fingers wove their way into my hair. I loved the way he held my face with such reverence and gentleness.
Our lips touched again, and I felt his tongue against mine. He tasted sweet and salty from the soda and popcorn. I nibbled his bottom lip, and he yelped a bit when he felt my teeth.
Just as I slid my hands down his back, he broke the kiss. He still held my face and looked into my eyes, straight to my soul.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” He placed his forehead against mine as he held my gaze.
“Why didn’t you?” I asked in a breathy whisper.
He kissed my lips again and sat back. His fingers slid down my arms until they reached my hands, which he then squeezed. “For many reasons. First, this was supposed to be just a job — a job I wanted very much. It was going to be the gateway to the big life change I was trying to accomplish. And I didn’t want to cross the line, but in all honesty, you never made me feel like just an employee. Second, I wanted to get to know you better, to bond with you. Third, I wanted to make sure my feelings would be welcomed by you, and if they weren’t, that it wouldn’t affect Lucia.”
I told him my honest feelings, even though I was sure he would think I was crazy. “I felt something for you the moment we met.” I laughed a little because I was sure he already knew that. “I knew it would be so easy to fall in love with you someday. I had no idea if you felt anything because you remained so indifferent.”
Dominic shook his head. “No, Mia. I wasn’t indifferent. I tried to hide my attraction from you. I didn’t want you to think I just wanted this job so I could have an instant family, although, with you and Lucia, that was all I wanted from day one. You both made your way into my heart, and I have all these feelings for you two.”
I just sat there gaping at him, in shock that he had said those words—and before I had! He was more reserved than me, so I always thought that, if that moment ever came, I would have to coax the admission out of him.
He panicked a bit, and I could see stress lines forming on his forehead again. “It’s too soon, isn’t it? I mean, to talk about feelings and stuff. I don’t want to ruin this. I don’t want to scare you off.”
“No, you can’t scare me off. I’m just surprised because I didn’t think you felt that much for me. Don’t worry; I’ve felt something from the moment you walked in that door. I’ve wanted to spend every possible moment with you since then.” I squeezed his hands tighter to stress the sincerity of my words. “I may have been falling in love with you since the day we met. You have made your way into our hearts as well. My daughter looks to you as a father figure, something she’s never had. We’re a package deal, and you’ve cared for and l
oved us in your own special way since you arrived.”
I thought about every little nice thing he’d done for me—for us. The lunches he would pack for us with a little note wishing us a good day. The way he would ensure I had fresh warm towels after my shower, and how my bed was always made. The way he would explain Lucia’s homework to her like the most patient man in the world and brush the tangles out of her hair at night with such gentleness it swelled my heart. She deserved the love of a father.
“I just didn’t want to put myself out there. Even though I may come off as confident, I’m afraid of rejection,” I said, wondering how I was able to talk about this so easily with him. He was still anxious, and I wanted to give him the security of his place here in our lives. “You’ve belonged with us since the day you arrived. You fit right in without a single hiccup. It was like we were all meant to be together.”
Dominic’s smile brightened when he registered what I’d said. “I would like us to become a family,” he said with sincerity.
I nodded and said, “I’d like that, too. We just need to take it slow, okay? I’m a little gun shy.”
“Me too, but what we have between us is so different and special, we’ll make it work.”
Chapter 16
Ring around the Rosy
I was overwhelmed by the beautiful scent of roses, lavender, and jasmine that surrounded us. In the middle of the park sat metal structures in the forms of monkey bars, swings, and a gigantic slide. Dominic was pushing Lucia on the swings while I sat on the bench near them. It was a beautiful, warm, October day and I was enjoying the heat of the sun. It seemed like other parents had the same idea, because they were also running around the park with their children.
Lucia jumped from the swing and, to my great relief, landed on her two little feet. She gestured to Dominic in an excited manner, and they both ran toward me. I sat up straighter and felt the smile spread across my face. Holding my arms out and open, ready to catch her when she jumped in them, I hugged her to me. However, she backed away and shouted out, “Come on, Momma. Let’s go to the slide. I want you to go down with me.”
I looked over at the monstrosity she called a slide and weighed my options. Praying that I’d make it down safe and sound, I agreed and began the climb with her. Once we got to the top, she sat down and waited for me to sit. I placed her between my legs and held her around the waist before whispering in her ear, “Are you ready?”
She clapped. “Yup, I’m ready!” And with her last word, I scooted forward, and we went flying down, right into Dominic’s waiting arms.
Things with Dominic had been moving along since that night we expressed our feelings for each other. Although our physical relationship hadn’t gone beyond kissing and heavy petting, he had picked up his game. I was a big ball of sexual tension.
Strong arms wrapped around Lucia and me, and the feel of him supporting both of us made me feel safe and loved.
Looking over his shoulder, I could see several women speed-walking around the edge of the park for their daily exercise and others just strolled as they gossiped with their friends. The idea of a stroll around the park sounded good.
“You guys want to take a walk with me?” I asked.
Dominic looked down at Lucia once he’d placed her back on the ground and asked, “What do you think?”
“Sure, but I want you both to hold my hands,” she said as she shrugged her shoulders.
With Lucia in the middle, swinging back and forth, we went off on a stroll together. Polite nods and a few hellos to the folks we passed and Lucia’s squeals accompanied us halfway around the park.
“Lucia, hold on tight so we can do a big one,” Dominic said. I braced myself, squeezed her hand, and swung her so high, her white tennis shoes were almost at eye level. And that’s when I noticed the couple walking toward us. In complete shock, I almost let go of Lucia’s hand. My feet stopped without conscious thought, and I stood there, frozen. Dominic and Lucia were jerked back by my sudden halt. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dominic looking at me questioningly, but I couldn’t tear my attention away from the sight in front of me to explain to him.
I stared, unnoticed for the moment, when he caressed the woman’s rounded belly while they strolled carefree through the park. They were a few feet in front of me but had not looked up yet. There was no escape for me, so I just stood, waiting for him to notice. It felt like it took years for them to reach us. When he looked up, he paled. Yeah, I knew the feeling. I had hoped never to see him again.
“Mia . . . Uh, hi. Um . . . how are you?” Alex asked, sputtering with nerves. His eyes lingered over Lucia, and then glanced at Dominic. I didn’t want Alex to see my daughter, since he had no right to, so I stepped to my right and covered her a bit. She peeked out, though, sneaking looks at them. I could tell that Dominic had figured out who this man was, because he took a stance in front of Lucia and me, just off to my right. Alex looked affronted at that movement and scoffed visibly. Asshole!
I took a deep, cleansing breath and called forth all of my confidence. “Oh, wow! Hi, you two.” My voice came out in a much higher tone than usual. “Don’t you look wonderful,” I said, when I pointed toward the girl on Alex’s arm. It was the same girl I had seen in his office bathroom the night I caught him.
The girl’s hands covered her stomach in a protective manner, and she and Alex just stood there, waiting for me to snap. I wasn’t upset at seeing them together; I’d just never wanted Lucia to see him again and ask me questions. How could I tell my baby girl that her biological father never wanted her, never loved her, yet had a new baby on the way?
“This is my boyfriend, Dominic. And this is Alex and . . . what’s your name? Sorry, I didn’t catch it when we met in the bathroom.”
She didn’t answer, but Alex did. “It’s nice to meet you, man. This is Amber, my wife.”
And that was all it took. “Well, Amber, if you’re lucky, all that love and attention he’s showing you now won’t end the moment your baby is born, like it did with us. I hope he won’t do to you what he did to us, for your child’s sake–”
“That’s enough, Mia,” Alex interrupted.
I nodded, shaking with anger. “You’re right. It is enough.” Reaching for Lucia’s hand, I walked away.
I was nearly at our car when Dominic caught up to us. He was talking to me, but I didn’t register what he was saying. I was so angry that I was caught in the maelstrom of my mind until Lucia screamed and I felt Dominic’s hand on mine, trying to stop me.
“Momma, you’re hurting me.” Lucia began to cry, and I realized I had been walking too fast and held her hand too tight
Snapping out of it, I stopped dead in my tracks, and the tears began to fall. “Oh, God,” I breathed. “I’m so sorry.” Looking into Dominic’s eyes, I pleaded, “Please take me home.”
Swooping Lucia into one arm, and then wrapping the other around me for support, he guided us to the car. Lucia was still crying. I had scared her with my actions, and she was confused. I knew she would have a ton of questions later after we had all settled down.
Lucia fell asleep in the car, and I just stared out the side window, wondering how Alex could replace us so easily. It was as if we had never existed. I didn’t love him—I knew that to be true—but seeing him after all this time brought up the feelings I had never dealt with when he walked away from us without a second glance.
Upon entering the house, Dominic took Lucia straight to her room. I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I remained in the entryway, just waiting for something, anything. I felt hurt, betrayed, and just plain drained. Before I even realized what was happening, Dominic had lifted me up and carried me to my bed. Removing my shoes he said, “Why don’t you take a nap? You’ll feel better.”
“Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”
After slipping off his own shoes, he laid down next to me. His comforting arms circled me and pulled me toward him to spoon me, and I wrapped my hand aroun
d his where it lay across my ribcage. I felt his warm breath on my neck, and then felt the vibration of his words. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I sighed, letting out a deep breath. “I feel so many things, Dominic. I just don’t know what it all means.”
Dominic pulled his hand from mine and pushed the hair off my face. He turned my face toward him a bit so he could look me in the eyes. “Tell me.”
That simple request opened the floodgates. Feeling the tears dripping down my face into my ears, I heard myself speak as if it were someone else. Things I had not even thought about spilled from my mouth.
“He hurt me and betrayed me for God knows how long. In all honesty, I thought it didn’t matter. I thought I was okay with it because I had Lucia and I had to protect her. Not once did I feel this pain.” Rolling over to look at him better, I kept trying to explain. I wanted him to understand; I wanted to understand. It seemed as if the words were flowing from my mouth without my permission.
“It’s not that I still love him, because I don’t at all. But, wow, what a rejection. I mean, he just discarded and replaced us like we were nothing. Caring for our home, our child, and him—despite the fact that he was never there and didn’t reciprocate for years—wasn’t enough? How does that reflect on me? All these insecurities that I didn’t think I had are coming up for me now.” I sat up in a panic. “God, I think I compartmentalized it all. I never gave much thought as to why it was so easy for him to replace me. My whole life was a lie, and I let it be that. And God knows for how long. I ignored the fact that he was never home yet I blame him for it all when I was just as responsible.”
My breaths were coming in short pants and my head felt dizzy. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Why didn’t I ever say anything to Alex? I never forced the issue of him being gone all the time until the very end. For five years, I played single mother and thought I was happier that way. What if I was not capable of a relationship? What if I screwed this up with Dominic?
He turned me toward him, placed my hand on his chest, and spoke in soothing tones, “Listen . . . Take a deep breath, in and out. That’s it, baby. Slow. In and out.”
My Mr. Manny Page 9
