I wasn’t sure if I was sharing my feelings with Dominic too soon or not, but it made me feel like an emotional mess. I tended to feel everything so fiercely; it didn’t matter the emotion, I wore my feelings on my sleeve for all to see and I’d release each one in an outburst. And then, after the outburst, I would wonder if I had overreacted because I had never been able to judge for myself. I felt an overwhelming love for Dominic, and I needed him to know. He was always so giving of himself that I wanted to give him something of me in return.
His hands cradled my face, and he looked deep into my eyes. Never had I spoken words so sincere, and he saw that.
“I love you, too. So very much.” I felt the vibration of those loving words pitter-patter against my mouth. His eyes were closed tight when his lips touched mine once again. “Thank you,” he cried, his voice cracking.
His hands went to my shoulders, and he pulled me close to him, wrapping me in an embrace. I buried my face in his chest and slid my arms around his back. Dominic crashed his lips to mine and kissed me with all he had. His hands wrapped around my head, cradling my skull as if he was afraid I would back away. I would never have considered it, so I matched his passion and then doubled it. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. No longer satisfied with the teenage groping we had been doing up to this point, I wanted us to consummate our relationship — to share and express our love in the ultimate way. I realized I didn’t want to wait until I was married to take that step.
“Baby,” I said against his lips, not willing to separate, “Let’s go to my room.”
He stopped and pulled back to look me in the eyes. “Are you sure?”
I smiled and pulled at the neck of his t-shirt with a crooked finger. “Yes. Let’s go,” I whispered.
~*~*~
I had never seen this man undressed before. Standing in my room, feeling shy all of a sudden, I watched while he removed his clothes and unveiled his beauty. In all honesty, I didn’t know what to expect. I had seen glimpses of him, small parts here and there, while we groped like kids on the sofa during our movie nights. When his shirt went over his head, I savored every toned muscle and found myself eager to touch every part of him. Anxiety ran through me while my eyes bounced over every bare piece of his skin. I felt the instant need to skim my fingers through the light scatter of hair on his chest that disappeared into his jeans. I wanted to taste the salt on his skin when I licked the “v” at his hips.
The confidence I had in the living room faded when we faced each other. I wanted to close the distance, to touch him, but my nerves set in. My mind was running with different, crazy thoughts. What if he didn’t like my body? I had a baby, after all. What if he didn’t find me experienced enough? What if I couldn’t please him? I steeled myself and began to undress alongside him. My body shook with nerves and anticipation, and I couldn’t wait to feel him. My body begged for fast and rough, but my heart yearned for soft and sensual.
“Whoa, not so fast, baby. I want to do that,” he said in a playful tone that relaxed me and made me giggle.
Standing back, I watched when he let his pants drop to the floor so I was able to appreciate his strong legs. They were long, with defined muscles covered in black wisps of hair. He placed his pants on the chair behind him, and I caught a look at his tight ass in his dark gray boxer briefs. As a full package, Dominic was complete perfection. Hell, even in parts he was beautiful. When he turned back toward me, he looked right into my eyes, and I let out a shaky breath. My eyes were sucked in by his, and I watched while they changed color, turning darker. In the look we shared, our souls just spoke—connected. It was the kind of moment I had read about in fairy tales; it was not something that happened in real life, but it happened now. It happened for us.
“Come here.” He held out his hand to me. “Let me love you.”
Two quick steps, and I was in his arms with my face buried in his neck, which allowed me to smell his sweet, musky scent. Dominic was taking his time while he held me close, savoring every moment, and it just served to build up the anticipation. I could feel his heart beating fast in his chest, just as mine was. His skin felt soft over his firm muscles when I ran my hands down his back. Dancing up to my neck, his hand then trailed to my chin with the lightest touch of his fingertips. He lifted my face to look at him and closed his lips over mine. They were rough, and his mouth was filled with desire. The scruff from his light beard rubbed my skin, leaving it sensitive. The blood coursed through my body, pulsating through every inch of my skin that prickled from our connection. It was different from any kiss we had ever shared. It was desperate, promising, loving, committed, and exciting. Then, he trailed those emotion-filled kisses from my mouth down my chin to my neck, nipping and licking along the way.
His hands skimmed around my stomach, where he found the hem of my shirt and slid it up my body and over my head. Then he undid my jeans and wiggled them down over my hips, bending down to help me and throwing them on the chair with his own clothes.
Dominic walked me back to the bed and, with his hands under my ass, he lifted me on top of the comforter. His kisses stopped so he could remove my bra and panties, and he savored every surface of my body with his eyes. My tongue swiped my bottom lip, and I dragged it into my mouth, embedding my teeth into it. My chest rose and fell exaggeratedly while my breathing became shallow just from watching him devour me with his gaze.
Steam covered the windows like a thin shade. The light shone from the chandelier above us, and I saw the small beads of sweat drop from Dominic’s forehead and chest as he moved over my body. While we kissed, touched, moved, and caressed, we shared every part of ourselves with each other.
When our eyes met again, his had darkened like uncut emeralds. His expression was ravenous, like a thirsty man in a desert. And when I looked deep into his eyes, swept up in our moment, thoughts of our first meeting came back to me. The connection I felt the moment we first touched rushed through me. The flashes I had of our future together were coming to fruition. We were sealing our fate while we connected in every possible way.
Dominic squeezed his eyes shut, snapping me back from the memories. He moaned with each movement, each caress. The weight of his body covered me like a heavy blanket on a cool night.
When my back arched and we set free, we collapsed on my sweat-soaked sheets.
“Wow!” I laughed in amazement. God, that had been incredible.
He chuckled with me. “I know.”
Sated and wrapped around him, I couldn’t help but think how much I loved this man with every part of my being: mind, body, heart, and soul.
My fingers ran across his sweaty face, over his eyebrows, around his eyes, and down the bridge of his nose to the tip. I made soothing circuits to his lips and traced around his jaw to lull him to sleep. I whispered, “I love you so much.”
A smiled spread across his face and caused crinkles around his closed eyes. “I love you, too—so much.” His arms tightened around me, and we fell deep into oblivion.
Chapter 19
Tiddlywinks
Waking up with Dominic wrapped around me for the first time was heaven. I was torn between wanting to stay in his arms to make love to him again and getting up to call Lori and tell her all about our connection the night before. I couldn’t contain the excitement that was bubbling inside me; I was amazed with how everything just clicked.
Still, I worried about my abilities to love long-term and what would happen down the line when we got married and planned to have more children. Yes, I knew this would lead to marriage. Even though I wasn’t sure when, I knew it would. I was only assuming he wanted children—at least I hoped he did, because there was nothing I wanted more. The biggest problem for me, though, was my fear of not being able to love Dominic with all the passion in the world forever – that another child would somehow steal that love away.
I rolled over to face Dominic, and he began to stir. While I watched him breathe, I took inventory of his preci
ous face. His lashes were thick and short against his cheek. The stubble on his face had thickened a bit more, and his lips stuck out in a pout. I pecked them, and his eyes opened.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” I said when he stretched and yawned. Dominic scratched at his stubble and rubbed his eyes. He was adorable in the morning.
“Mhmmm, it is a good morning,” he said with a sleep-coated voice. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “A very good morning.”
“I need to get up and get ready for work. Lucia will be up in a bit. But . . .” I began to say.
“What’s wrong?”
I exhaled a deep breath. “No, nothing’s wrong, but, well, I really want you to move into my room now. Too soon?” I wasn’t afraid he’d say no, but for some reason I felt strange about asking.
Dominic scoffed. “Did you think I was going to go back to sleeping in my room after that? It was the best night of my life,” he said while peppering soft kisses on my face.
“It was my best night, too, baby.” I kissed him and got up. “So, it’s official then. You’re moving in here, and we’re a real couple.” I jerked my head in a nod to emphasize my statement.
He rolled on top of me, pinning me down on the bed. “I thought it was a given, Mia. You’re stuck with me forever now. I hope you can handle me,” he said with a laugh.
“Mhmmm, I can handle you all right. I just hope you can handle me.” I brushed his lips with mine. “Come on. I need to get up. I want to make you guys breakfast before I have to take Lucia to school, okay?”
I didn’t have time to cook anything fancy, but I whipped up some scrambled eggs and fried some bacon. Next, I popped a few frozen waffles into the toaster and poured Lucia orange juice. Dropping in a K-cup of Dominic’s favorite coffee, I added sugar to his mug before doing the same for myself.
When I ran down the hallway to Lucia’s room, I heard Dominic singing Lucia a wake-up song. I’d had no idea he knew about that.
“Lucia, Lucia it’s morning time, and if you get up, I’ll give you a dime. Lucia, Lucia, stand on your feet, so we can go to the kitchen to sit down and eat,” he sang in his deep voice. I watched from the doorway while he sat on the edge of her bed, stroking the hair off her face and singing. Although I didn’t want to interrupt, the food was getting cold. I wanted to swoon over him paying attention to the made-up songs I had always sung to her in the morning, but I didn’t want to embarrass him over it. Also, I was feeling a tad jealous. Those songs had always been my special connection with my daughter, but I knew I was lucky that he cared so much and was interested in being involved. Truthfully, he filled my heart to the rim.
“Hey, guys. The food’s ready. Come on, Lucia, get up!” They both looked at me and laughed. “Hey, what’s so funny?”
“Nothing, Momma.” She sat up and jumped into Dominic arms, and he was quick enough to catch her.
~*~*~
The day was beautiful. Well, it was overcast and foggy but it didn’t affect me; I was way too giddy. All I felt was the happiness that spilled out of me when I remembered the wonderful time I’d had with Dominic the night before. So, I ignored the external gloom and rode to work on cloud nine.
My excitement was too much to keep inside. I needed to share it with someone. Since I wasn’t close enough with Danielle to share the personal side of my relationship with her, I decided to call Lori.
Slipping in my Bluetooth earpiece, I dialed her number.
“Hey, girlie. How’s it going?” Lori said with excitement in her voice.
“Hi, you busy?” I asked quickly.
“Nope, you caught me right at lunchtime.”
I sighed in relief. “Oh, yeah, the time difference. Good. So . . .”
“So? So, what? What?” Her tone became more forceful. I was irritating her, and I loved it.
I drawled out again. “So. Guess what I did last night,” I teased some more.
“Ugh, seriously, Mia. I’m going to fly there and kick your ass if you don’t stop with your bullshit. Tell me!”
I laughed out loud at her, which I knew would only piss her off more.
“Take it easy there, killer. If you want me to share my secrets with you, you’re going to have to be nice to me. Capiche?”
“Damn, Mia. I haven’t heard you throw out any Italian in years. This must be good. I’ll be nice. Now, spill.” Demanding little brat.
I gave her a recap of the night before, leaving out the intimate details for privacy’s sake.
“Wow, that’s amazing,” she said after I’d finished. “Congratulations, Mia.”
“For what?” I asked.
“Well, for getting laid, for enjoying it, and for the great start to your relationship. But I have to ask: are you sure you’re ready for this? You were both in serious relationships not that long ago, and I just want to make sure you’re not jumping in too soon.”
I thought about what she’d said for a moment. Despite having had same thoughts a million times before, I couldn’t help but go with my instincts. With my marriage to Alex, I’d just jumped in and hadn't thought about anything at all. I never once dug deep down inside myself to see if I was in love with him or not. I just went with the flow, and when I got pregnant with Lucia, things just went a bit faster. Back then, I never questioned myself, but this time around, that’s all I was doing. The answer was always the same.
“I am ready for this. I’m sure of it. And from what I know about Dominic, I think he is, too. He’s just perfect for me, Lori. He loves my daughter as if she was his own, and he loves me as well. He shows us every day. It’s like he knows what we need and he just . . . does it. He doesn’t just spew a bunch of pretty words at me to make me feel nice. His actions speak much louder than his words ever could— though I have to tell you, he says some sweet-ass shit, too.”
“Mia, if he’s anything like his brother, then I believe that. They had great examples from their parents, and I just want to make sure you’re all right with this huge commitment. But above all, I’m just happy for you and Lucia. You deserve happiness after what you’ve been through.”
“Thanks, Loretta. I love you and we’ll talk soon. I’m pulling into work now so I’ve gotta go.”
She blew me a few kisses before we hung up. Our conversation had made me even more certain about what I was doing than I had already was. Hearing my own thoughts out loud just confirmed it: I was sure about this and about him.
~*~*~
When I got home from work, I was exhausted. It was one of those days when a lot of my employees had issues. In helping them, I didn’t have time to attend to my regular duties. However, putting out fires often came with the job, and we had to adjust to it. When I got home later than usual, the house was quiet, so I thought Dominic and Lucia were in the other room, perhaps putting away her ballet stuff. I placed my stuff down on the breakfast bar and walked straight to the sofa to meld into it.
Just as I was starting to doze off, I heard Lucia speaking to me, and I snapped out of my daze to find her walking toward me.
“Momma.” I patted the sofa so she could sit next to me.
“Yes, baby.” I watched her face contort with sadness.
“I’m scared, and I need to ask you something.” I could tell she was on the verge of tears.
“Baby, you know you can ask me anything. Please tell me so I can fix it.”
She climbed into my lap and clung to me. What kind of help could a six-year-old need?
“Lucia, tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me now. You can tell me anything, you know that, don’t you?”
Her eyes looked like spring water pools on the sidewalk, filling with tears that leaked down her face. I hugged her to me fiercely.
“There’s a daddy-and-daughter dance in the spring. My teacher told us when she sent home the calendar the other day,” Lucia whispered into my chest. I pulled her back to look at her again. Her eyes bore into mine, begging me to understand, but what she was talking about didn’t register until she
blurted out, “But I don’t have a daddy.”
I choked. My chest tightened as if it were filled with concrete blocks. And there it was: the time when she needed a daddy and didn’t have one. Lucia had not asked any more questions after we’d seen Alex in the park that day, but now with this new development, it made her not having a father even more obvious. I also knew that she loved Dominic as much as he loved her and that a part of her just wanted the security of knowing where she stood with him. I understood that feeling—that need—more than anything.
“Oh God, baby. I’m so sorry.” I held her to me and rocked us back and forth.
She began speaking in a slow and unsure manner then finished with a rush of words. “Momma, umm ... c-can I ask, um, Dominic if he’ll be my daddy?”
I almost laughed, my stupid nervous laugh, because she sounded so cute and vulnerable. And I’d be damned if I had an answer for her. In all honesty, I had no idea what to say in that situation, so we sat there crying until I felt the sofa sink down and Dominic’s arms wrap around us. He must have been coming from his room and heard us talking from the hallway.
Dominic reached for Lucia and led her to his lap. He held her face in his hands and wiped her tears away. “Sweet, sweet girl. If that’s what you want and if your mom is okay with it, then I would love nothing more than to be your dad. I have been thinking about that for as long as I’ve known you. I love you, sweet girl. You’re an amazing, loving, talented, beautiful, precious, and sweet little girl.” Hugging her to him, he swayed back and forth while he said those beautiful words. “Any daddy would be proud to have you.” Dominic pulled back and kissed her nose, right on the tip. And I was suddenly a blubbering mess.
Lucia, on the other hand, was beaming. She jumped up on his lap, wrapped her little arms around his neck, and squeezed with all her might. And as he wrapped his arms around her, too, I could see his face turning red from her tight grip. It was sweet, honest, and just what they needed.
My Mr. Manny Page 11
