“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I did…I do.”
He inhaled. “You have to know how hard this was for me. I’ll never forgive myself for what happened to Isaac. Never. I’m just hoping you’ll forgive me…someday.”
“Alex, I know I said what I said, but I was terrified I would never see my son again. Please know that. I love you, I’ve always loved you…and I always will.”
“What about Dane?”
“What about him?”
“I know he stayed at the hotel, after we left. Do you know how hard that was for me, knowing you didn’t want me around, but you had let him in there?”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Nothing happened.”
“Believe you, but since we’re being honest, I wanted you know how I felt about it…”
“So, back to the no-touching thing; why haven’t you?”
He looked around, and shrugged. “I said, I wanted to give you space. You know I can’t just kiss you, and not want to do anything else to you.”
I grinned, thinking of his mouth on me…anywhere on me. When I regarded Alex’s eyes, they narrowed, and deep down inside, my belly started to flip flop—I was smouldering.
Alex dove toward me and took my face into his hands, his mouth positively consumed my lips, my tongue…all of me in that second. His fingers curled into my hair, pulling it down to tip my face up. He knelt, towering over me, pushing me down onto the soda.
“I want you,” I breathed, my voice low and dripping with need. “Touch me, Alex. Tell me what you want, baby. Please.”
He pulled away from me, panting, his chest heaved up and down and he lowered his head, closing his eyes. When he started to speak, he didn’t lift his head right away, he kept it hanging and all his hair fell on his forehead.
I reached up, and touched his hair, the soft strands twisted into my fingers. “Babe?” I asked, unsure of why he was quiet.
He exhaled, and opened his mouth. “Take off your pants.”
I chewed my lip down to smother my excitement. This was the Alex that drove me absolutely crazy. My hands flew to my zipper and I eagerly unzipped them. Before I got the chance to pull them down, Alex gripped the waist and jerked them down my hips, I rose up as he lifted my legs to take the jeans off.
“Turn over, and get on those knees, Riley.”
Ho-ly shit.
I was almost ready to orgasm and he hadn’t even done anything to me yet. His words alone—those deep, low tones escaped from his perfect lips—left me breathless, and aching.
I turned over, and I saw his shirt fly past my head and land on the floor. I heard his zipper, and his breathing made me push my face into the cushion with anticipation.
My fingers dug into the fabric of the sofa, and his hands slowly caressed my behind. I felt a finger slide under my panties and pull them to the side, then his hand came down, cupping my cheek and smacking it hard.
“Ah!” I cried out, wanting more. “Alex,” I moaned.
He pushed into me, and growled so loudly I felt it ripple through his body and into mine. Over and over he plunged, so deep I could almost pass out; my eyes full of star bursts and my teeth clenched hard.
“Did you miss this? Huh, Ry? Did you miss me?” He groaned, slamming harder with each syllable.
“Y—yes,” I whined, and a second later I cried out again when he pulled out of me and my body screamed at him.
Alex kicked off his pants and boxers, then reached down and turned me over. “Come here,” he said.
I sat up as he lifted me up over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Inside the room, he gently set me down on the bed and I climbed backward up the sheets into the center.
“I love you,” he whispered, smiling slyly.
“Love you,” I returned, leaning back on my elbows, eagerly awaiting what he was going to do next. I gazed up his body, drowning in his perfect skin, his muscles and his absofreakinglutely delicious trail of hair below his belly button.
He took my foot, and kissed my ankle. His tongue trailed along the back of my calf and up to my knee. He bite the inside of my thigh and I leaned my head back into the bed, closing my eyes.
I wanted more. I needed more.
I must have momentarily left my body, because when I opened my eyes and looked up at Alex he was wearing his cowboy hat.
“Oh, my… Alex,” I covered my face and laughed. “Very woof.”
“Ready for it, ‘lil lady?” He chuckled, and stroked himself slowly with his firm hand. The veins in his forearm bulged with each of his gripping rubs.
“Mmm, yes, please.”
“Please, what?” He growled.
“Please…sir?”
Alex cocked his head slowly, and tipped down his hat, covering his eyes.
Oh, my God.
He was actually going to make me say it.
“Cowboy,” I managed to say without giggling. “Please, cowboy…give it to me.”
Alex sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, and grinned a scandalous smile at me. He grabbed both of my ankles, and leaned down to put my legs over his shoulders. His hands pulled my hips down to meet his body, as he rubbed his length slowly over me.
I couldn’t take anymore, I was ready to start convulsing already. With my knees bent at his shoulders, he dipped down and kissed me…hard. Our tongues lapped and tasted; feverish for the other. He sat back up with my ankles now resting on his shoulders, he slowly pushes into me, filling me once again.
My eyes fluttered, and my mouth falls open. I softly whimpered from the mouth-watering stretching.
He roared, “Oh, fuck.” His voice breathy, as he licked his bottom lip before turning his face to suck on my ankle.
My hands flew to my face, and I bit down on my the side of my thumb to stifle my screams, I lifted and bucked my hips up and down, pulling him faster and harder into me.
When I felt the buildup, my eyes met his. He pushed his hat off his head, and took my ankles off his shoulders. Bending my knees, Alex pressed them up into my chest, and rocked my body back, angling it for a deeper penetration.
Only a few seconds into the change, I was ready to start crawling the walls. “Alex, I can’t…Oh, please no more!”
“No more?” he whispered. “I don’t think so.”
I clenched my muscles as hard as I could around him, knowing that my heart would probably fail if I had to endure another minute of this beautiful and earth-shattering torment.
“Damn, Ry…” he hissed. “You’re killing me, here.”
I let go, not able to hold on another second; trembling on the bed, under his body and out of my own mind.
***
There was another rodeo this weekend. And I still hadn’t gathered the strength or courage to go back to one since my first and last experience. I couldn’t help but associate it with bad things. So, I stayed home with the kids, while Alex, Blaine, Addison and Seth headed to their next event.
“Good luck, I love you,” I had said to Alex before he left, while I straightened the collar on his shirt.
Alex pressed his forehead into mine, and sighed. “I love you, too.”
Scarlett and I were sitting on the porch, playing with her little baby dolls when a small, single-cabbed truck pulled into the driveway. I lifted my hand up, to shield the sun from my eyes, and waited for the person driving to get out so I could see who it was.
“Hi,” the pretty brunette said, as she approached me.
“Hi, how are ya?” I ask, inquisitive as to who she is.
“I’m looking for Jeremiah Sanford. Is he around?”
I exhaled.
Shit.
“Umm, no, I’m sorry. Jeremiah passed away over a year ago. Is there something I can help you with?”
The brunette’s bottom lip got trapped between her teeth, and she shifted her eyes around, like she was unsure of her surroundings. “I—I didn’t know. Sorry for bothering you.”
She started to walk away, so I stood up and walked toward her.
“Did you know Jeremiah?” I asked.
She turned around. “Yes, briefly. We…went on a few dates. My name is Lucy.”
I don’t remember hearing about a Lucy before. “Nice to meet you, I’m Riley.”
“Is that Jeremiah’s daughter?” Lucy asked, pointing to Scarlett.
“Oh. No, that’s my daughter. We live here now, Jeremiah was a good friend. Are you sure I can’t help you with something?”
Lucy looked around again, her eyes wide and anxious. “Well, I’m sick, and I was hoping that he was around…to take care of my son.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “I don’t understand.”
Lucy turned and opened the door of her truck. She pulled a baby boy out of a car seat. He had brown hair, and…I’ll be damned—Jeremiah’s dark eyes. “This is Chase,” she whispered.
My lip trembled as I gazed upon the baby. He sat happily in Lucy’s arms, chewing on his fingers. “H—How old is he?” I managed to mutter.
“He’ll be a year old in September,” she said, looking down at her son. “I never wanted to bother Jeremiah. I was the one who broke things off with him. But when I found out I had less time than I thought, I knew that Chase needed at least one of his parents in his life.”
“Can I hold him?” I asked, smiling.
“Sure,” she said, and handed me the baby.
The moment I held him in my arms, I felt tears prickle in my eyes. In no natural world is this actually happening. My heart broke knowing that this child would never get to know his father and the amazing man that he was.
“He’s…perfect.” I smiled. “He looks just like him.”
Lucy nodded. “I know, I think of him every day when I look into Chase’s eyes.” She frowned. “How did he die?”
I sniffled my nose, trying to push away my emotion. “Jer was killed last July, he was crushed by a vehicle.”
“Oh, my Lord!” Lucy whispered, covering her mouth with her hands. “I just can’t believe it.”
“I know, it’s been…hard.” I rocked back and forth, swaying with Chase in my arms. “Would you like some tea, coffee? Anything?”
“Tea would be nice, thank you.”
Lucy and I sat on the porch, with Chase and Scarlett, and she explained how she knew Jeremiah.
“I met him in the fall of twenty-eleven. He was in the diner I worked at, with two of his friends. They had just come from an auction, and were celebrating, I guess.” She shrugged. “He flirted, and I gave him my number. I remember when he was going to leave that day, he almost tripped and fell while he was walking. He was so funny, I just…loved his smile.”
I pulled the tea bag out of my mug, and agreed with her.
“Jeremiah actually called me a few weeks later. We went on a few dates…nothing special. Just to the movies a few times, or he would drive me to the lake and we would sit on the tailgate of his truck and talk.” Lucy’s lip curled into a tiny smile. “That truck, actually,” she said, nodding her head toward the Dodge.
“Jeremiah left everything to his best friend Blaine, and he gave it to me and my…Alex. He lived here with Jer before he died.”
“I started to feel…too much, and I didn’t want to scare him away. And when I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want him to think I wanted anything from him. But now, in retrospect, I should have told him.”
“Lucy, what do you mean you’re ‘sick’?” I asked.
“I have cystic fibrosis, I’m not going to live to be very old,” she said, her eyes beginning to water. “I never wanted to have kids for this reason. He’ll never know me.”
“I’m sorry…I…” Damn, I had no idea what to say to this girl.
“It’s okay, don’t be sorry. Thank you for talking to me, I appreciate your kindness.” She stood and bent down to pick Chase up from the porch.
“What are you going to do now?” I asked, unsure of what exactly I was even going to do now that I knew this.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any family, but I’m sure children’s services might help me figure out something.”
“Give me a minute, kay?” I pulled out my phone and texted Addison. Call me. RIGHT NOW.
“Riley, what’s going on? Are the kids okay?” Addison asked, calling me within a minute of me texting her.
“Addy…” I looked up at Lucy and smiled. “Are you sitting down?”
Chapter Thirteen
Blaine’s truck pulled in the driveway, two hours later, and everyone but Blaine climbed out. Through the window I saw Addison say something to him, frown, then shut the passenger door and walk toward the house. Alex carried in Seth, and when he walked through the door, he almost went white.
Lucy was sitting on the sofa in the living room, with Chase on her lap. “Hello,” she said, smiling at the Cole siblings.
“Hi.” Addison smiled. “I’m Addison.”
“Nice to see you again,” Alex said, wide-eyed and monotone.
“Where’s Blaine?” I asked, taking Seth from Alex’s arms.
“He’s not ready,” Alex muttered.
Lucy got up from the sofa. “I’m sorry, this was a mistake. I didn’t mean to come here and upset everyone. I should go.”
“No!” Alex shouted, then lowered his voice. “Sorry. Please don’t go, this is just a surprise…we’re still dealing with losing him. But we’re happy to have you here. Both of you.”
Lucy sat back down, but looked like she was regretting coming. “I should probably go, the baby will need a nap soon.”
“Can we help you with anything, Lucy?” Addison asked. “Do you have anyone to talk to?”
Lucy shook her head, then looked at me. “No, but I’ll be okay. Thanks again, Riley…for everything.”
“We’re here if you need anything else,” I told her.
Lucy carried her son out of the house, and waved at us before climbing into her truck. She didn’t even look at Blaine’s Ford, even though you couldn’t see through the dark windows, I was sure he was in there having a breakdown.
“You guys hungry?” I asked, my words cutting the silence like a blade.
“Starving,” Addison and Alex both said.
While Alex as barbecuing the steaks for dinner, Blaine’s door finally opened and he stepped out of his truck. He walked across the lawn and sat down in a chair.
“Babe? You okay?” Addison asked.
He shook his head, but didn’t look at any of us.
“You should have come in to see him.”
“I saw him when she left,” he said quietly. “Shit, Addy…he looks just like him.”
“Blaine, Lucy is sick. She isn’t expected to live much longer. Chase won’t have anyone,” I spoke up.
He put his head in his hands, and sighed loudly. When he lifted his face back up, his eyes were glistening and he looked like he was ready to explode. “Chase,” he whispered. “He’ll have us. Addison, we’ll adopt him. He’s Jer’s son…shit. Jeremiah has a son!”
“That’s a big decision…“ Addison started to speak.
“It’s no decision, it’s not even a question!” Blaine snapped. “If that was Riley’s kid you would take him in a second! Wouldn’t you?
“Well, yeah…”
“Well, there ya go, baby. Did Lucy leave a number?”
“She gave me her number,” I piped up.
Blaine’s eyes lit up. “Good.”
Dinner was quiet, and more than awkward as no one spoke at all during the entire meal.
“Okay, time to talk about this,” Addison said. “I can’t just sit here, ignoring what just happened. We left the rodeo, drove like mad back home, met Jeremiah’s child…and now we’re considering adopting him.”
“Considering?” Blaine asked.
“Well, yes! Blaine, it’s not like it’s a puppy! He’s a baby, for crying out loud! It’s another life, and one that we would be responsible for. I think it’s something we need to actually discuss!”
“If I can say something,” Alex said, hold
ing up his index fingers.
“No!” Addison and Blaine both growled.
I actually snorted, trying not to laugh.
“Well, fuck ya both then!” Alex pouted.
“Sorry, I just…don’t know how to go about this.” Addison softened with a sigh. “Can we give this the weekend, and call Lucy on Monday?”
“Okay…Monday.” Blaine half-smiled.
***
Monday—“Decision Day”—came and went, and so did another month. It was now almost August, and Blaine and Addison were two days away from bringing Chase into their home…to raise as their son.
Lucy, with the help of family services, was able to give up her rights to her son, and the Blackstock’s filled out their adoption paperwork.
Addison wanted Lucy to stay at their farm. Lucy’s doctor stated that she wasn’t going to live past the summer, and she needed to rest comfortably during her final weeks.
I sat in Addison’s living room, holding Lucy’s hand, while she cried and tried to smile while regretting Addison’s offer.
“I can’t,” she said, and a smile whispered across her pretty face. “I just…don’t want to spend the last of my life in Wyoming. I know it sounds stupid…but there is a place in Hawaii that I can go to…to wait.”
Addison and I cried too.
Lucy only lived for three days after she landed in Hawaii. Long enough to dip her toes in the ocean, and wear a hula skirt at a luau. That’s what the hospice worker said when they phoned to let Addison and Blaine know Lucy had passed away.
There was a picture frame on the dresser in Chase’s bedroom. Two wooden frames, hinged at the centre. On the left, was a picture that Addison took of Lucy holding her son, sitting on the couch before she left for Hawaii. And on the right, was a picture of Jeremiah. He was leaning forward against a fence, one leg propped up on the wood, and he was smiling the biggest grin across his handsome face.
“He may not get to know them, but he’ll forever know who they were.” Addison smiled, setting the photos back down on the dresser.
“You’re amazing.” I leaned my head down on her shoulder.
She sighed and took my hand. “Let’s go see what the boys are up to.”
Breathless (Meadowlarks) Page 17
