by K. M. Scott
Serena
Instead of heading off on their honeymoon immediately after the wedding, Janelle and her new husband spent the week at the estate. During the day, she slept until noon or later while Charles and my father met to discuss business matters, and I had to believe all three of them couldn’t have been happier.
For me, being back in my father’s world made me miserable. I missed Italy and the independence I’d achieved there, and as it quickly faded into the past, I wished I’d never left there when my father beckoned me home. Nothing in this place had changed in the two years I’d been gone. If anything, it had all stayed exactly the same.
My father ruled like some despot over everyone, and they all seemed willing to accept their lots in life. Janelle finally had what she’d always wanted in life. Security. That it could be taken away at any moment by either of the men who ruled her life didn’t seem to concern her in the least.
Italy had given me the chance to fulfill my dream of a life more than that, and now that I’d returned, I intended to do whatever it took to make sure I didn’t lose it. Ryder had been part of that dream, but of all the things that had stayed the same while I was gone, he had to be the one that changed.
My stomach twisted into knots at the thought of him with that Kitty. I didn’t know a thing about her, other than she had a part of him I’d never gotten the chance to, but I hated her. I didn’t know if she was blonde or brunette, if she had long hair or short. I didn’t know if she was taller than I was or shorter. Did he look at her and see someone so beautiful he couldn’t do without her?
I didn’t know, but from the first moment he said her name, I’d been consumed with jealousy. For two years, I wished for nothing more than to see him again, and then when the time finally came, he hadn’t waited.
My brain filled with every conceivable insecurity, tormenting me. If only I’d asked to come home sooner or found a way to contact him while I was gone, maybe he wouldn’t have ever looked at her.
I couldn’t think about it anymore, so I walked out to the garden to find some quiet and peace of mind in the only place on the estate that could possibly offer it in the middle of the day on a Thursday. As I made my way, I inhaled the sweet fragrance of the late summer blooms that filled the air. Something in the honeysuckle on the estate always smelled sweeter than anywhere else.
One of the gardeners worked assiduously trimming the hedges near the three-tiered cement fountain flanked by three white lions with heads proudly tilted high that was the showpiece of the estate’s grounds. My father’s garden had very few flowers, in fact, and was designed to be a carefully constructed and maintained work of art more than any celebration of nature. Some jasmine and rose bushes still lived on along with the honeysuckle from when my mother had a say in what would be grown, but now green hedges sharply manicured into straight-lined geometric shapes and animal forms were the focus.
All in all, little of it felt natural or wild, and it had the effect of making a nice walk in the garden inevitably feel like a trip through a maze.
I wound along the pathway to a spot where pink roses grew almost unrestricted, except for the trellises that kept them from truly following their nature. An old wooden bench that didn’t match anything else in the garden sat alone near the bushes, so I hid there and tried to push away the hurt and anger that had stayed with me on my stroll through the garden.
This place wasn’t good for me, and now that the only person I’d truly missed had moved on, maybe it was time I did the same. In less than a year, I’d finish school with my degree in social work, and until then I could work while I attended classes so I wouldn’t have to stay at the estate.
It wouldn’t be a life like my sister had enjoyed all these years, but it would be the kind of life I wanted. She could have her modern day slavery. I’d take poverty over that any day.
Closing my eyes, I let the sun warm my face as I silently condemned her choices even as I thought about my mother. Now that I knew she wasn’t gone but had been kept from us, I wondered where she was at that moment. What had my father done to force her to stay away?
“Hiding out?”
I looked up and saw Ryder blocking the sun as he stood in front of me in the black suit that had become his uniform now. “Maybe. Just looking for some quiet.”
He sat down and took a deep breath in. “I never come back here, you know? I’ve lived here for over two years and this might be the first time I’ve ever been in this part of the estate.”
For a long moment, I studied the man next to me. The clothes he wore made him look older, but in the light of day I still saw that cockiness in his expression when he wasn’t trying to be one of my father’s henchmen.
“What are you doing here, Ryder?” I asked, wishing he’d say the words I’d waited years to hear.
He turned to look at me and forced a smile. “Your father sent me to look for you. I caught a glimpse of you as you headed toward the garden, so I followed you here.”
Hearing he was doing my father’s handiwork was the last thing I wanted to hear. Disgusted, I said, “Nice. Stalking the boss’s daughter. Great job you have there. What’s he want me for?”
My words hurt him, and his green eyes narrowed to slits when he winced. “I think he’s planning on having one of his get-togethers and wants to make sure you’ll be there.”
I turned away from him and closed my eyes, letting the sun warm the apples of my cheeks. “You can tell him his show horse will be there.”
Ryder didn’t answer, but he didn’t leave either. He just sat silently at my side as I tried not to focus on the fact that he was staring at me. Finally, I opened my eyes and looked over at him, unable to ignore him anymore.
“You don’t think you should run off to report back to him?” I asked, hating how sharp my words sounded.
He stared at me, those green eyes focused intently on my eyes. “I never cared about her, Serena.”
His mention of her felt like someone had my heart in their hand and were squeezing hard. I didn’t want to talk about what he felt for someone else.
“Don’t. Just don’t, Ryder. I get it. You moved on and I didn’t. Too bad for me, right?”
I stood to leave, but he caught my arm as I turned away. I looked down at him and saw he had more to say.
“I need you to believe me. I never thought I’d see you again. I thought you got away from here, and I didn’t blame you for wanting to forget everything about this place, including me. But I never forgot about you. Never.”
“Yeah. You told me. Even while you were fucking pussy or whatever her name is, your stripper girlfriend.”
My answer made him grimace, and he let go of my arm. “What else do you want from me, Serena? What can I say to make you believe me?”
His questions made me want to hit someone. What did I want from him? What I’d been willing to give him ever since all those nights we spent together in his room.
“Two years. Two years I wanted the person I’d fallen in love with all those times we sat on your bed and talked. I wanted you, but you turned into this stripper fucking, company man of my father’s!” I screamed.
He practically jumped up from the bench, furious at my indictment of who he’d become. Looking down at me, his eyes flashed hurt even while he snapped back at me, “Grow up! Not all of us had the chance to escape this place and spend two years in Italy living in a villa. I’m sorry who I am is such a disappointment to you. Some of us don’t get a choice in what happens to us.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I thought that was bullshit, that everyone had a choice, but he didn’t give me a chance to say anything before he stormed away, leaving me in that spot surrounded by nature’s beauty and feeling worse than when I’d arrived.
Fuck him. I didn’t run off to Italy like some spoiled little rich girl. I was exiled for the crime of wanting to make my life something more than a future as mere chattel. And his claim that he didn’t have a choice but to become one of my father’s thugs
was crap. He always had a choice.
He just made the wrong one.
Peeking my head around the corner into my father’s office, I saw him sitting behind his desk and Ryder standing near the bookcases on the far wall like a statue staring straight ahead with no feeling or emotion or even a thought.
Nice choice of a life there.
“Did you want to see me, Dad?” I asked, pretending to be chipper after what had just happened in the garden.
He turned toward Ryder and smiled. “See? I knew you’d have better luck than anyone else getting her to come in. And you thought she’d disobey me.”
I flashed Ryder a look of disgust that he would have said that about me and then looked over at my father with a big smile. “Of course not. What’s up?”
He stood from his chair and came over to the doorway to pull me into the room. “I’m having a party tonight, sort of a send-off for your sister and Charles as they begin their life together. Just a few friends and their wives. I expect you to be there with bells on at seven and your usual gracious self.”
“Of course,” I said with all the enthusiasm I could possibly muster. “Anything else?”
My father stared at me for a moment with a look of suspicion but then shook his head. “No. I look forward to having you there tonight, Serena. It hasn’t been the same without you these past two years. Ask Ryder. He’ll tell you.”
I nodded and turned to look over toward the bookcase at him. “Oh, he’s told me all about how things aren’t the same anymore.”
My jab got no response, and Ryder simply trained his gaze on a spot on the wall above my head to avoid looking directly at me. He could ignore me all he wanted. That didn’t mean a damn thing to me.
At seven o’clock sharp, I appeared in the formal dining room my father used for his parties and saw the small gathering of twenty or so people fawning over Janelle and Charles, much to my relief since I genuinely didn’t want to have to entertain my father and his friends again. I’d done it countless times growing up, from when I was a little girl and was expected to charm them with how adorable I could be around adults to when I got older and was expected to tolerate his friends’ inappropriate drunken advances on me as a teenager.
Tonight I hoped being gracious meant being silent and smiling while everyone ignored me in favor of my sister and her new husband.
I scanned the room for any sign of Ryder but didn’t see him. Probably all the better since our fight earlier had left me a little shaken. As much as I wanted to hate him for what he said, I couldn’t, even though I still thought he was dead wrong.
I had grown up. I just hadn’t left what I felt for him behind, even if I should have.
Lost in thought, I didn’t see Janelle next to me until she shook me by the shoulder. “Hey, what’s going on with you, Serena? I just asked you what you thought of my dress.”
“It’s very nice,” I said as I pretended to care about the form fitting black designer dress with purple and green floral print across her breasts.
“It’s going to be just you now, little sister. Do you think you can handle our father alone?” she said with a sly smile, as if she’d ever done anything to help me with him.
Looking around the room for some escape, I said, “I’ll be fine. I won’t be here very long, so it won’t be an issue.”
Next to me, she continued to talk. “Why? Where are you going?”
I turned to see her wearing a curious expression, knowing she likely was pumping me for information for our father. “I only have a year left in school, Janelle. After that, there would be no reason to continue living here. Time to get out into the world and work.”
That those concepts were entirely foreign to my sister was obvious by the confused look she gave me as she answered, “Oh. Well, I guess if you want that kind of life.”
Thankfully, her husband walking toward us gave me a reprieve from her, and I quickly excused myself to get a drink at the bar. Maybe if I drank enough, I could make it through my father’s little get-together.
Two glasses of merlot later, I didn’t hate being at the party so much but wondered why Ryder wasn’t there. Then it dawned on me.
He was probably at his girlfriend’s house. Kitty. Fucking Kitty.
Pushing my glass toward the bartender, I faked a smile and said, “Another glass of wine, please.”
The last thing I wanted to think about as I was stuck at my father’s party celebrating my sister’s willing entry into a life of indentured servitude was Ryder together with some woman whose name was synonymous with vagina. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to make that good.
From behind me, I heard my father announce it was time to dance and my heart sank. Who would he pair me up with this time? I imagined when I turned around I’d see some old man with roaming hands and bad breath all set to dance with me.
“Serena, it’s been a long time since we all had the pleasure of seeing you dance. You can do the honors,” my father announced.
Cringing, I silently prayed to God my partner wouldn’t be too old or smell like death and turned around to see him grinning that crocodile smile of his. Knowing my entire job tonight involved being gracious, I plastered a smile on my face and joined him in the center of the room.
“Of course, Dad,” I said as I took his hand and waited to find out my fate.
He swiveled his head left and right like he was looking for someone. “Where is he?”
As I stood there filled with dread at all the old men in that room, I saw Ryder step out from behind a group of couples and walk toward us. Stopping in front of me, he smiled at my father. “Sorry, I was just finishing my drink.”
Dressed in a tux, he was nothing less than stunning. I pressed my lips together so my mouth wouldn’t drop open in shock at what he looked like. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he was any one of the movers and shakers my father liked to have attend his parties.
“Everyone, you all know my adopted son Ryder. It’s been two years since he saw Serena, so I thought it would be nice to let them have the first dance.”
The crowd clapped as he left us standing there together to turn the music on. Never before in my life had I been terrified to dance in that room, but now as Ryder stood there putting his hand against my back and taking my hand in his, I worried I wouldn’t be able to move without melting into the floor.
He stared down at me when I didn’t move and whispered, “They expect us to dance, Serena. I know you know how.”
I positioned my hand on his shoulder and looked up at him. “So no more yelling at me?”
We began to move our feet, and it became obvious in our time apart Ryder had learned to dance. Gently gliding me across the floor, he moved even better than I did.
“No more yelling. At least not now,” he said quietly in my ear.
All I heard was the not now part and couldn’t help frowning. As if he read my mind, he added, “I’m sorry for before.”
“I’m not disappointed in who you are,” I said as he turned me.
He smiled like hearing that meant the world to him. “Good. I think I clean up pretty nice, don’t you agree?”
Nodding, I tried not to think of how incredibly hot he looked in that tux. I’d always wanted to see him dressed in one, and now as he held me while we danced for the first time together, the last thing I could think of was being disappointed in him.
The music stopped all too soon, but he didn’t let me go even as my father called for me to come meet some friend of his. I didn’t want Ryder’s hand to leave my back. I loved the feel of him holding me like pressed against his body was where I belonged.
“Your father wants to talk to you, I think,” he said as we stood still in each other’s hold, our gazes fixed on one another.
“I’m ignoring him hoping he’ll go away,” I said with a smile.
But he yelled my name again, and I knew I didn’t have a choice. Reluctantly, I slid my hand off Ryder’s shoulder and my other hand from
his hold, but he didn’t let me go. Instead, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I enjoyed our first dance together.”
The sound of his deep voice as his lips softly grazed the shell of my ear made my legs go weak and an ache formed in my core. I grudgingly left him to go speak to my father and whatever old guy he thought I needed to meet, wishing all these people could disappear and it could be just Ryder and me again.
“Serena, I want you to meet Oliver Landon. He’s part owner of Landon Auction House,” my father said in a tone that indicated I should be impressed by this.
Oliver Landon certainly wasn’t an old man, but he looked old before his time for a young man I guessed couldn’t be more than in his late twenties. He had light hair cut respectably short and blue eyes that didn’t seem to hide anything deeper behind them. His smile appeared genuine when my father introduced us, but knowing the people Robert Erickson liked to surround himself with, it wasn’t a stretch to think that smile was fake.
“It’s nice to meet you, Oliver,” I said politely, extending my hand to shake his. “I hope you’re having a nice time here tonight.”
“I am. Your father’s been a very gracious host.”
“That’s nice,” I said as I scanned the room for Ryder.
“Serena, I thought you and Oliver would get along since he’s very much into the arts.”
I looked at my father and nodded without giving his idea any thought. “Okay. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go freshen up a bit after my dance.”
Quickly, I left and headed toward the first-floor powder room. I saw Ryder turn the corner toward the kitchen. Just before he made it there, he vanished into the stairway down to the wine cellar.
I slowly descended the stairs and saw him leaning against the table with his arms folded and wearing that sexy grin that never failed to make my insides feel like they were turning to molten lava.
“Why did you leave the party?” I asked as I slowly walked toward him.
“Too many people and they aren’t really my crowd, no matter how much your father wants to say I’m his adopted son.”
