Cards of Love: Temperance: A Forbidden Romance

by Cassia Leo

  My chest is heaving as I unbutton my blouse and toss it behind him. “This is highly…inappropriate.”

  He chuckles and the sound sends a shiver coursing through me. “It’s highly inappropriate how soaking wet you are for me,” he says, smiling at the slurping sounds it makes when he slides his fingers in and out of me. “I guess I’ll just have to clean you up.”

  My legs tremble as he places a tender kiss on my mound while sliding his fingers out of me. Looking up at me, he takes the hand that is not holding the door handle and places it on his shoulder. Then, he lifts my leg and drapes it over his other shoulder, exposing my swollen center to him.

  He nods in approval. “Oh, yes. It’s even more beautiful in person.”

  He uses his fingers to spread my lips, revealing my throbbing clit. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall as his mouth lands on my aching flesh. He wastes no time bringing me to orgasm, and drinking in my arousal as if it were sacred water in a vast desert.

  “Not yet,” he says as I attempt to slide my leg off of his shoulder. “One is not enough for you, little bird. The first orgasm is on the house. The second is the one that counts. That’s the one I have to work for.”

  Oh, God.

  Without warning, he takes my other leg and lifts it on top of his other shoulder, so I am completely off the ground with my back against the wall. I grab onto his head as he stands up with my legs wrapped around his neck and my fingers tangled in his hair. I glance up and mentally thank Bernard for insisting we get an office space with ten-foot ceilings.

  “Oh, my God!” I scream as he sucks my clit, slurping it up into his puckered lips and holding it there as he flicks it with the tip of his tongue. “Oh, Samuel. I’m going to come.” I can feel strands of his hair being ripped from his scalp as I curl over and tighten my grip. “Oh, God. Oh, please… Please… Please fuck me.”

  He practically inhales me as I explode with orgasm number two. And only when he is satisfied he has squeezed every last drop of arousal out of me, does he finally set my sweaty, trembling body down. But he doesn’t give me any time to recover.

  Turning me around again so I’m facing the wall, he undoes his pants. Then, he unclasps my bra and slips it off, so he can hold onto my breast as he slides his cock inside me from behind. It happens so fast, I’m caught off guard by the sheer size of him. I let out a piercing shriek as he slams into me and bites down on my neck.

  “Jesus fucking Christ. Your pussy feels even tighter and warmer than I imagined.” He kisses my neck hungrily as one of his hands rolls my hard nipple and the other slides between my legs to massage my clit. “That’s right,” he growls as I let out a rhythmic series of high-pitched whimpers in time with each of his thrusts. “Sing for me. Sing for me, little bird.” He grabs my breast roughly as he pounds me even harder and pinches my clit, causing me to cry out in sweet, delicious pain. “Scream for me,” he commands as he thrusts deeper inside me than any man has ever been.

  And I gladly oblige.

  The third orgasm is the most intense of them all. It detonates in my pussy, rockets up my spine, and explodes in every nerve ending from my scalp down to the soles of my feet. My breath is ragged as I splay my sweaty hands against the wall for support.

  His throbbing cock is still inside me, sending a chill through me every time it twitches. But instead of trying to pull out, he wraps his arms around my waist, holding me even tighter as he buries his face in my neck. His breath is hot on my skin and loud in my ear, but he makes no attempt to let go. And I don’t want him to.

  Finally, he loosens his arms and his cock slides out of me as he turns me around to face him. “If this is the last time I ever see you,” he says, taking my face in his hands, “I want you to know you have meant more to me than any woman ever has.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead and another on my cheek. “And I want you to know you did nothing wrong. And you are perfect exactly as you are.”

  He kisses me the way I have always wanted to be kissed, slow, tender, assertive, and as if it is our last kiss. He tugs playfully on my bottom lip and I smile as he plants a soft peck on the corner of my mouth.

  “Will you be okay?” I ask as we both — well, mostly me — get dressed. “You’ll keep me up-to-date on your status?”

  He smiles as he retrieves my heels and kneels before me to slide them onto my feet. “If we can’t be together, it’s probably best if we don’t stay in touch. I don’t think I would be able to stay away from you. But I don’t want you to risk your job for us. This is the last you’ll see of me, Leah.”

  A painful ache twists inside me at the prospect that this could be the last time I see him, last time I hear him say my name in the voice I’ve come to love. But do I love this man? Or am I addicted to how he makes me feel?

  He watches me as I finish tucking in my blouse and fixing my hair, his eyes never letting me out of his sight. When I’m finished, I offer to walk him out. But the moment I unlock the door and we step out into the corridor, my stomach drops at the sight of Jennifer and Bernard walking toward the employee break room. They stare at Samuel and I with wide eyes and mouths agape.

  “I’ll see you out, Mr. Paxson,” I say in a very formal tone.

  Samuel is quiet as I rush him out into the corridor. “I will do anything you need me to do,” he says. “I’ll write a letter, sign an affidavit, whatever it is you need me to do to prove nothing went on between us. Just say the word and I’ll do it.”

  I shake my head adamantly. “No, I am not going to lie anymore. But you need to go. I have to go inside. I’m sorry, Samuel. I… I…”

  He smiles. “I know… So do I, little bird,” he murmurs, planting a tender kiss on my temple.

  As he walks away, I feel as if my heart, my soul, my true self is walking away with him. Reluctantly, I head back inside and immediately go to the break room, where I find Jennifer preparing a pot of coffee and Bernard placing his lunch in the refrigerator.

  “We need to talk,” I declare as Bernard turns around. “Jennifer, can you please leave us?”

  Jennifer nods. “Of course. I’ll be out front if you need anything.”

  I wait until Jennifer is gone, and I shut the break room door. I want to tell him the truth. I want to believe I’m truly done with the lies, as I just told Samuel I am. But panic sets into my bones and I know I can’t lose this job.

  “This is not what it looks like, Bernard,” I begin.

  “What happened in there, Leah?” he demands.

  “He just needed to talk about the therapists I recommended, and he wanted to get a paper copy of his health record.”

  Bernard cocks an eyebrow. “He didn’t seem to be carrying any papers when he left.”

  My mouth drops open as my brain scrambles for another explanation. “I normally don’t oblige those types of requests, but he was very upset having to switch therapists, so I wanted to set his mind at ease.”

  He shakes his head. “Well, he looked very pleased when he left. It seems you really eased his mind.”

  I swallow hard as I search my mind for a better lie, but I can’t think of anything other than how much I loved being fucked by Samuel. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Bernard lets out a heavy sigh. “You know I have a duty to report. Not only is it illegal, it’s a violation of trust, Leah. That is the main reason why a therapist is not allowed to have a relationship with the patient. You know this!”

  I nod in agreement, but I don’t respond. He is right and his passionate response is warranted. One of the first things you learn in psychology 101 is relationship dynamics. In relationship dynamics, each person wants something from the other person. To prevent the therapist and the patient from violating trust, they must not have any type of relationship outside the therapy environment. Wanting something from the other person changes the advice you give them, and the way they perceive that advice.

  I nod again as I reach for the door. “Do what you feel you have to do, Bernard. I trust y
our judgment and I understand if you have to report me. If it were you, I probably would, too. I’m sorry I violated your trust. I hope you can forgive me…someday.”

  Chapter 5

  I leave Linda’s office with my tail between my legs, my ego wrapped in a prickly blanket of shame. My mind continually switches back and forth between the image of my hand signing the disciplinary warning Linda typed up this morning and the image of Samuel’s gorgeous face as he told me he’s falling in love with me. It’s crazy to think that I agree with Linda and Bernard’s decision to file a complaint against me with the medical commission while I also believe there’s a strong possibility Samuel was telling the truth. How do I reconcile this intense, justifiable longing with my knowledge that I must pay for my indiscretions?

  In my office, I grab my purse and slide my laptop into my leather tote bag. I look around the room one last time, to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. Then, I leave my office, not bothering to lock the door on my way out.

  “Jennifer, I need to ask a favor of you,” I say as I enter the reception area.

  Jennifer nods enthusiastically. “Of course, anything you need.”

  I draw in a long breath and let it out slowly. “Should anyone call the office asking for me, please tell them I am on an indefinite leave of absence and you don’t know when I will be returning. Please refer all my patients to Bernard. Overflow should go to Linda. Anyone who doesn’t want to change therapists, please send them my list of recommended therapists. I sent out an email to all my patients letting them know I will be unavailable, but if they feel they’re having a crisis they are always welcome to contact me, but not as a therapist. Once the commission has decided whether or not to move forward with the investigation, I will be in touch to let you know when I’ll be back and in what capacity.”

  “And… What if… What if he calls or comes here looking for you?” she asks in a small voice.

  I flash her a soft smile. “If you know it’s him, you can transfer him to Bernard or Linda. If you’re not sure, just take down the call back number and send me an email.”

  She nods as she stands up and around the desk to give me a hug. “I hope you come back soon. It won’t be the same without you here.”

  “Thank you, Jennifer.”

  As I leave the office where I have worked for eight years, I heave a deep sigh of sorrow tinged with foolish optimism. The medical commission’s assessment of the complaint against me isn’t for another two weeks. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. If I can’t do my job, if I’m not a therapist, then who am I?

  I shake my head as I press the elevator call button. It’s so incredibly typical for someone to be attracted to the field of psychiatry and psychology because they seek answers for their own madness. I am no exception to this stereotype. And identity crises are almost always the catalyst for mental health breakdowns. Now more than ever, I need to speak with my therapist. Heck, I’ll probably ask her to squeeze me in every day for the next two weeks.

  As I come out of the elevator onto the 15th floor of my condo building, my stomach swoops at the sight of Samuel standing next to my front door in a perfectly tailored gray suit.

  He looks up from his phone at the sound of my footsteps approaching. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” he says, his gaze focused on my face, searching for something I cannot guess. “Are you okay, Leah?”

  I smile as I reach for the keypad on the door and begin typing in the code to unlock the deadbolt. I don’t bother attempting to conceal the code from Samuel. I have every reason to believe he would never use it without my permission. Though, it gives me a bit of a thrill to imagine him using the code to visit me in the middle of the night and shower my body and heart with his undivided attention.

  “I am,” I say pushing the door open. “I’m okay. You didn’t have to come here…but I’m glad you did. Come inside.”

  He lets the door fall closed behind him before he locks it. “Here I’ll take that,” he says, helping me out of my trench and opening the door for the coat closet as if he lives here. He hangs up my trench and purse in the closet, then he follows me to the kitchen. “I received a letter from the Department of Health asking me to testify about the nature of our relationship.”

  I place the tote bag with my laptop onto the breakfast bar, then I had straight for the refrigerator to grab the bottle of Riesling. “I suspect you’ll be receiving more correspondence from them in the coming weeks,” I reply, my hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle as I pause for a moment, then decide to grab myself a Pellegrino instead. Pouring two glasses of sparkling water, I set one down in front of Samuel and take a sip from mine.

  He stares at the bubbly liquid for a while, but he doesn’t partake. “I found another therapist,” he begins, his gaze meeting mine. “But I don’t suspect I will be seeing him for any addictions. I haven’t faltered. It’s like there was a switch inside me that flipped the moment my father died. Like my brain was trying to tell me that, just like my mother, I didn’t matter to him. Because I was no better than him.”

  I shake my head. “That’s just not true,” I reply softly. “I know you don’t want platitudes, and I cannot give you therapeutic advice, but I can tell you this: You matter. You matter to your friends and colleagues. You matter to the families of the people you employ. You matter to the people affected by your work and your charity. You mattered to your mother. And no matter how difficult it is to believe, you mattered to your father.”

  He flashes me a handsome smile, which doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “But do–”

  “You matter to me,” I reply fiercely, answering his question before he’s had the chance to ask it, before he can verbalize his uncertainty.

  His smile widens and he rounds the kitchen counter toward me. “You make me feel invincible,” he says, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “I know this will probably be the last time you and I will be able to spend time together, and I want you to know that walking away from you will be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.”

  He pulls me into his arms and I wrap mine around his waist, burying my face in the caller of his blazer, closing my eyes as I inhale his scent and bask in his warmth. Kissing the top of my head, he tightens his hold on me, causing a flood of emotions to well up inside me.

  “Stay with me tonight,” I murmur my plea. “I know I shouldn’t ask you to stay. I know it’s selfish of me to even ask, but…but I don’t want you to leave.”

  He slowly loosens his hold on me and I look up to meet his gaze. “I said I would do anything you want me to do. So, yes, I would be honored to stay with you tonight.”

  We stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment, both of us seemingly contemplating where this night is headed. His gaze falls to my lips, his mouth dropping open in a silent question. I lick my lips as a reply in the affirmative.

  His hands come up to hold my face as he leans in and places a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. Pulling away slightly, his gaze wanders over every inch of my face as he gently strokes my skin. I close my eyes as his fingertips skim across my eyebrows and down the side of my face. He places a tender kiss on each of my eyelids, then he kisses the other corner of my mouth.

  Opening my eyes, my chest is heaving shallow breaths as warm arousal pools between my legs. He reaches down and, instinctively, I raise my arms so he can pull my cashmere sweater off. He tosses it onto the island and proceeds to remove his clothes, beginning with his gray blazer and black tie. I follow his lead and remove my heels, black skinny pants, and undergarments.

  This is the first time I’ve seen him naked and I get a visceral pain in my belly at the realization that it is also probably the last time I’ll ever see him this way. Before he can stop me, I fall to my knees in front of him and saliva pools in my mouth as I stare at his smooth erection.

  He gazes down at me with an expression of pure adulation as I take his cock into my mouth. He groans with pleasure as I bob my head back and forth, keep
ing a firm grip on the base to hold the skin taut. I look up to hold his gaze as I let some of the saliva in my mouth trickle onto the tip of his erection as a lubricant.

  “Fuck…” he groans as his head falls back in ecstasy. “Leah… Fuck yes.”

  I bob my head faster now, reaching my hand between my legs and using my slippery cum to circle my clit with two fingers. His eyes meet mine again, running his fingers through my hair to keep it out of my face so he can watch me.

  I swirl my tongue around the tip of his erection, relishing the sound of his moans as I pay special attention to his frenulum. I tease him playfully, smiling as I take some of the cum from my pussy. Holding my hand up, we both moan with pleasure as he sucks on my fingers and I take his cock fully into my throat.

  His erection gets even harder and his breath comes hotter, heavier, and faster every time the tip slides past my tonsils. Tears stream down my face from the sheer size of him. I’ve never swallowed a penis this large, but somehow the way Samuel gazes at me with such reverence makes me feel as if I am capable of the impossible. And I understand now that feeling of invincibility, the feeling that you can do anything with this person by your side.

  His grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls his cock out of my mouth. I lean my head back, continuing to touch myself as he comes on my chest. Hot ribbons of milky fluid decorate my breasts as I moan with pleasure.

  “I can do better than that,” he says, bending down to help me up from the floor, then he hoists me onto the counter and spreads my legs. “That’s my job, little bird.”

  But he doesn’t go straight for my pussy. He grabs a paper towel off the counter behind him and wipes the cum from my chest, then he takes my head in his hands and kisses me. The kiss is slow and tender but hints at a filthy promise, like a summer skinny dip in a warm spring. I’ve never been kissed like this. Period.