“I just wanted to know if it was a permanent condition.”
“Yes, if it’s real it’s there for good. It doesn't just go away. Or not for a very long time and after a lot of bad shit happening, anyway.” The question seemed to aggravate her, but I’d gotten my answer and my world was spinning. All I could think about was getting space.
“Where you going? Don’t you want to hear more?” Lucy yelled as I walked away from her.
“No. I don’t.” I didn’t yell, I don’t have time for this love bullshit.
Chapter 30
I stepped out onto the front lawn early the next morning light and saw everyone waiting except for Dax. He’d left last night after dinner with a brief word that he’d be back this morning.
He wasn’t.
I made my way over to Tank as I scoured the lawn, expecting Dax to appear at any moment. “Where is he?”
“He hasn’t come back yet.”
He didn’t have to say anything else. Being late, when you’d been out there, often meant you weren’t ever coming back. But this was Dax, not some normal human roaming the Wilds.
I forced myself to stop looking around, knowing all eyes were on me, waiting for a reaction.
“I’ll ride with you.” I rested a hand on his shoulder and climbed on the back of his bike before he could tell me not to.
“But shouldn’t we wait?” Tank said as Lucy walked over to us, wanting to be a part of the conversation. “She wants to leave without him,” Tank told her.
“You know where we’re supposed to go?” I asked Tank, not waiting to hear Lucy chime in.
“Yeah.” Tank was looking at Lucy, though, and then so did I, realizing I wasn’t going to get him moving unless they I got them both moving and he felt outnumbered.
“You know what’s at stake,” I said to her.
Lucy looked at me, and the conversation we’d had the other day made a lot more sense. Lucy and I were more alike than I’d known. Just like me, even if she didn’t feel great about it, she’d make the tough call. She wouldn’t go soft on me.
“Let’s go,” she said, and turned and, as she passed me, held out her fist. I bumped it with my own knuckles and she went and got on her bike, revved it up, and moved to the front of the pack because she knew the other guys would listen to her.
“We’re heading out,” she said, and pulled forward before anyone had time to utter a question.
I settled in for the ride and all I thought about was, one, I needed my own bike, even if I did ride it into a tree, and two, please, let him just be late. Don’t let him be dead.
* * *
Zarrod had us meet him the farthest out of Newco that we’d ever met. No gates this time. Just a bridge, with them on one side and us on the other.
It was almost easier getting off the bike this time, knowing Dax wasn’t the one I was walking away from—except for the lump in my throat that matched the stone in my stomach from wondering where he was right now.
I nodded toward Croq as we passed each other, trying to keep interaction to a minimum. I couldn’t handle his strange brand of small talk. I wanted to get today over with and get back and find Dax. I approached the car and realized it was a different driver. Today was not starting off well.
We didn’t drive long at all, barely fifteen minutes, before I was stepping out into another field, Zarrod and Brod waiting as usual.
“So glad to see you today,” Zarrod said, and it actually rang with some sincerity.
Maybe it was my lack of interest on whether he was glad or not, but he must’ve been in a chatty mood today, because he continued. “It’s hard not to like someone who’s going to save your race.”
Maybe some chitchat wasn’t a bad idea. “Is that what I’m doing?”
“Yes. You are, and I am appreciative of it.” Zarrod was smiling. Brod didn’t seem so happy, but then again, Brod didn’t look so healthy either with the dark mist clinging to him.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I guess I’m feeling generous after all the good work you’ve done. We won’t need you much longer.”
“And then we’re done?”
“I’ll leave you alone, of course,” he said.
But when I looked at him, I knew he wouldn’t. Zarrod wasn’t much of a liar, I was finding. Did he mean he’d kill me after this was over, or never leave me be? Maybe he knew this process would be the death of me?
Dax was missing, and I could die, maybe today.
And I hadn’t said goodbye to him.
I rolled up my sleeve and pulled my knife from my hip, but then paused as the reality of my situation decided to hit.
As if the shock of everything was starting to wear off, I thought of Dax missing, and how he might never come back. I was dying, slowly but steadily, as I let Zarrod continue to use me. If I was dead, Zarrod wouldn’t waste the resources going after the farm. No, he’d only destroy everything if I wasn’t there to try and stop him. Everything was coming together today in just a way to make it obvious I was running out of things to lose. It was time to renegotiate. It was the perfect time to gamble.
Zarrod’s gaze flickered from the knife to my eyes as the nervousness set in when I didn’t hand it over.
I tightened my hand around the hilt. “You need me to give this to you, but I want some answers first.”
“That’s not the deal.”
“I’m renegotiating.”
“I’ll crush you.”
“You know, that’s the thing. I don’t think you will.” I dropped my hand to my side, knife at the ready. If he didn’t answer, it might be time to take my chances.
He was quiet, and so was Brod, but Brod never spoke anyway. Zarrod stared at me for a long while, and I wondered if I’d misjudged until he answered and I knew I had him. “If I do answer, and you don’t let me use your magic, I’ll have no reason to not destroy everything you love.”
For the first time since I’d met Zarrod, I smiled at him. “I’m aware. Now, what are you looking for?”
“There is a place that will heal my people. I’m using your magic to find it because that is what you do. Get things.”
So it was the place that I buried Bookie that healed him. But then why hadn’t it worked on the damn bird?
“Why don’t you use the place that Croq told you about? Why do you need me?” I asked, positive Croq had used that knowledge to get back in Zarrod’s good graces.
“Because it was already depleted. Just as you channel magic through you, there are places on this Earth that store it, and the magic had been depleted from that spot. That spot won’t have enough magic to heal someone for another thousand years.”
He reached for the knife I was holding, but I tugged it back. As much as he didn’t want to tell me, he was too close to his objective. My gut told me there was more information here to mine, and he’d hand it over.
“And you’re searching for a place that has more?”
“Yes. I won’t say any more. Make your choice.”
He’d told me a lot, maybe more than was wise for me to know if I wanted to walk away from here alive today. But now I knew. I had to make it out. If Dax was dead, maybe I could save him by finding this place first.
I held the knife out.
* * *
I didn’t hear the car door open or know we’d gotten back to the bridge until the driver was roughly shaking me, telling me to get out. I got up, knowing I’d have to pull it together and find the strength to get to Tank.
I walked past Croq. I didn’t know what he noticed, as all my concentration was focused on taking a step forward, and then another.
“Holy wild berries, she doesn’t look so good,” I heard Lucy say as she grabbed an arm and strung it over her shoulders. My eyes were blurring, so I wasn’t sure if her face looked like it sounded or not.
“I’m okay,” I said, stumbling and dragging Lucy with me until I felt a larger body on my other side, grab my other arm.
“Can she ride?�
�� Tank asked, but it seemed like he was speaking to Lucy.
“I can ride.” I couldn’t stand so well, but I’d hold on for dear life.
“I don’t know, but we gotta get outta here, like now,” Lucy said.
I nodded, or at least thought I did. Yeah, I was actually starting to like Lucy a little.
There weren’t any more questions as Tank got on his bike and Lucy helped me climb on behind him, wrapped my hands around his waist, and pushed them together.
“Don’t let go,” she said.
“I won’t.”
* * *
We got to the house a little over four hours later, and only because they’d ridden like the devil was on our tail.
Instead of pulling the bikes into the shed, Tank pulled right up alongside Lucy in front of the house.
Tank waved the rest of the group away while I was trying to get off the bike.
Tank followed me and grabbed an arm, steadying me before I face-planted.
“She dies, he’s going to kill us,” Tank said across me to Lucy, who was taking up the other arm.
Fudge was opening the door when she should’ve been asleep. “What happened?” she asked as soon as she saw me. “Go get Bookie from the barn.”
It was the middle of the night. Bookie would only be in the barn for an emergency. “I don’t need him. I’m fine. Where’s Dax? Did he get back?” I asked
“No,” she said as she waved everyone inside.
Lucy and Tank deposited me on the couch.
“Where’s Bitters?” He was the one I needed, him and his potion. I tried to get off the couch but fell right back down. “Where is he?” How was I supposed to help Dax if I couldn’t stand?
“He went in the woods after dinner and hasn’t come back,” Fudge said, laying a hand on my forehead. “She’s not feverish. What happened?”
“I’m fine, Fudge, I swear…”
My voice died and we all turned as Dax walked in the door. His clothes were ripped and dirty, but other than that, he looked perfect.
“What happened?” he asked, walking straight to me.
I tried to sit up a little straighter. How bad did I look?
“We went without you,” Tank said.
“Who made that call?” Dax asked in a tone that let us know someone was about to catch hell.
“Where were you?” I asked him while he was still waiting for Tank to answer. “Dax, what happened to you?” I tried to stand but fell back onto the couch again.
He took a step toward me, and the entire day, week, month, maybe even life, seemed to emotionally erupt within me, and I started crying. There was nothing pretty about it, either. It was like I was vomiting out emotion.
He was alive.
“Are you in pain?” Dax asked as he came to my side.
“No, I’m just… I don’t know,” I said, and it came out as another wail.
“What the hell is wrong with her?” I heard Tank say to Lucy.
“I don’t know.”
“Dal, what is it?” Dax asked
“I don’t know,” I said, because I wasn’t going to tell him that I’d exploded because he’d walked into the house like he had a million times before. “Bitters. I need him.”
“They must’ve cursed her or something,” Lucy said. “That’s what’s going on.”
Dax lifted me in his arms, and I buried my face in the nook of his shoulder as he carried me up toward our room.
He held me close to his chest as he walked up the stairs, and I didn’t even care that his voice nearly blew out my ear when he yelled, “Find Bitters! Now!”
He kicked the door shut behind us and propped me up on the bed while I was still leaking water like a messed-up well.
“Dal, what is—”
His words stopped and his attention shifted to my arm. He grabbed the edge of the sleeve and, with a single tug, had wrenched the thing open all the way up to my shoulder.
“What happened to your arm?”
There was banging at the door and then Bitters yelling, “I’ve been fetched?”
“Come in,” I said, before Dax could.
Bitters walked in and took in the picture of us, me with my arm sliced from elbow to wrist and still raw, and Dax now standing, looking like he wanted something to kill.
“Mother of mercy and gods of the Wilds! Looks like you made a real mess this time.”
“What is this?” Dax asked me, disregarding Bitters.
“Do you have more?” I asked Bitters at the same time.
Dax turned to Bitters. “More what?”
Bitters pulled a vial from inside his jacket and handed it to me. I grabbed it with my good arm, fumbling with the cork in my effort to open it.
“Remember, don’t take too much at once.”
I nodded, taking a small sip.
“I want answers. Now.” Dax sounded like he was ready to have an explosion of his own.
I leaned back as I let the potion do its magic, and gave Bitters a small nod. Between the crazy feelings that kept bubbling up and what Zarrod had done, I had nothing left.
“It’s a form of black magic they’ve been doing to use her,” Bitters explained, and then gave Dax a pretty detailed explanation of what had happened. A little too detailed. If I’d known he was going to spill all that, I would’ve mustered up the energy myself.
“That doesn’t make sense.” Dax crossed his arms and looked at me accusingly. “Because that’s something she would’ve had to willingly agree to.”
“And?” Bitters asked. “She agreed. She’ll be fine, though. It’ll wear off soon, and that potion she’s been taking has been keeping it at bay…to a certain degree, anyway.” When he looked back at me, I knew what his eyes were saying. I wouldn’t be fine, not if I kept going back there, but at least he’d softened the story a little bit.
Dax looked at Bitters. “Get out.”
“Really? You summon me and now kick me out?” he asked, as if he were affronted, when I knew he damn well wanted to escape. He was already taking a step toward the door.
“You know what?” Bitters looked like he was gearing up for one hell of a fight, but I knew better. His chest deflated and he said, “I can live with that.” He walked from the room calmly and shut the door.
Dax crossed his arms and stared until I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“You lied.”
“I didn’t lie. I didn’t tell you everything. There’s a difference.”
“Not to me.”
Bitters’ potion gave me enough energy back that I didn’t feel like I was going to fall over while sitting, but as I watched Dax standing there, it didn’t seem to stop the urge to cry again.
If this was love, and I had a very bad feeling about that, I was done for. But he was alive. How close had it been to him not returning? His clothes were tattered, hanging almost in shreds in places.
“What happened to you?”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“No, I want to know what happened. You look like you almost died!” Without warning, it started again. The tears sprang out of my eyes, and I couldn’t shut them down. They just picked up more steam until I was nearly wailing.
Then the door opened and I heard Fudge saying, “What did you say to her?”
“You don’t know what she’s been doing.” He was furious.
And then Fudge, the only person that was capable of kicking Dax out of his own room, did just that.
She walked over to the bed and sat down next to me before wrapping her arms around me. “Go ahead, let it out. It’s been a long time coming.”
I did.
Chapter 31
I wasn’t just tired. I felt like the life had been sapped out of me and might never return, my arms were cut up by the wire I’d been wrapping around the fence, and I had a blister forming where I’d hammered my thumb instead of a nail. I’d taken a larger swig of Bitters’ potion this morning than I should’ve, but sitting around the house had not been an option.
And now I looked up and saw Dax heading over to where I was.
I looked back down so I wouldn’t lose another finger as I hammered away. I didn’t know what he did, but the place cleared out until it was just us. I tossed the hammer beside the wood I was reinforcing and turned to see what I was dealing with.
If he was still mad, he didn’t look it, but I knew he might get angry by time we were done talking.
“You ready to tell me?” he asked.
“Yeah, let’s walk,” I said. I grabbed my canteen and hammer, then together we he walked back toward the farmhouse as I talked. I relayed the entirety of it, everything I’d held back and all the new information I’d gotten, and watched as he took it all in.
By time I was done, we’d stopped close enough that I could see the farmhouse, but far enough away to still have some privacy. He wasn’t saying anything, and I wondered if he was afraid I’d start crying again. If I hadn’t been so embarrassed by it, I might’ve laughed. Either way, I thought he might be scared, so I pressed my advantage.
“He’s close to finding what he’s looking for. I’ve got to go back one last time and do what I should’ve done from the very first meeting. I have to kill him. If I don’t, he’s going to use me to heal every Dark Walker there is.” I’d gotten it out, and now I had to wait to see if he’d back me up or if I was going to be on my own.
“You aren’t going back alone,” he said, and then I saw him look at me as if he were waiting for me to burst out in tears again.
I stared down at the dirt for a minute before I said, “I was hoping I wouldn’t be.”
“No more secrets,” he said.
That was it? All I had to do was agree to fair sharing of information and he’d be on board again? We’d be good to go?
I tilted my head back, trying to determine if that was really all I had to do. “Agreed.”
“You burn me again and I’m not going to care how…emotional you get,” he said. He was looking around at the people and the house, everyone but me. It was as if he were the one who’d blubbered all over the place last night.
The Magic Page 19
