It’d be smart to remember that. He’d have to keep his distance. There were only weeks left before Joellen returned and life would get back to normal.
Whatever that was.
Chase lay down on his blanket, vowing to uphold the pledges he’d made. He’d not lose control again. It wasn’t fair to Letty Sue; he could see that now. He couldn’t ease the lust in his body, no matter how much he wanted to, and then simply walk away.
She was right to push him away.
At least one of them had kept a clear head. Surprising that it had been her this time.
Half an hour later, Letty Sue appeared in the doorway. Her sweet scent wafted into the room before he’d lifted his head to confirm her presence. Her eyes were bright red, holding back tears. She held an agitated little Jake in her arms.
Chase stood, throwing on his pants quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s having nightmares. I can’t seem to settle him down. Don’t let us disturb you. I thought some warm milk would help.” She headed past him toward the kitchen with little Jake rubbing his eyes, moving restlessly in her arms.
Chase strode toward her and reached out. “Let me have him.”
She hesitated, clearly uncertain whether to give him the boy. Chase lowered his voice, stroking Jake’s head, using the same smooth tone he did for his horses. “I bet you’d like to hear a Cheyenne legend or two, wouldn’t you, Jake?”
Slowly, with eyes rounded, Jake nodded.
Letty Sue peered at Chase cautiously, then kissed Jake’s forehead and turned the boy over to him. Jake was clammy, sweating, clearly upset.
“He didn’t make a sound, but thrashed and thrashed in the bed. I think he’s remembering something awful,” she whispered.
Chase nodded. “Let’s sit him down. Letty Sue, would you turn up the lamp a bit?”
As she did so, Chase sat down on the sofa and cuddled the boy in his arms. “My grandfather told me this legend for the first time when I was just a mite older than you, little Jake.”
Jake gazed up at him silently, but his eyes seemed to clear a bit, the fear Chase witnessed there vanishing. “Letty Sue, go on to bed. Me and little Jake here, we’re going to get to sleep a bit later.”
Letty Sue hesitated a moment, appearing downcast, and Chase wondered if what had happened earlier was still on her mind. She had trouble meeting his eyes, but apparently Jake’s welfare far outweighed her own discomfort. Quietly, she said, “I’d rather see that he’s settled first before turning in. I’ll just sit with you both for a little while.”
Chase nodded and turned his attention back to Jake. He felt the sofa sag just a bit, and was surprised when Letty Sue sat down next to him. But then, when she stroked Jake’s hair lovingly, he realized she only wanted to be near the boy.
“A long time ago the great spirit Nesaru had charge over all of creation,” he began, feeling Jake settle more comfortably in his arms. “And below his blue sky was a lake that went on for as far as the eye could see. In this beautiful lake two ducks swam ever so peacefully. But then the ducks saw Wolf Man and Lucky Man approach them. They asked the ducks to bring up mud to make the earth and…”
Jake’s head fell onto his chest, his eyes closed.
Softer now, Chase continued, “Wolf Man made a great prairie for the animals to live in, but Lucky Man made hills and valleys where the Indians could hunt and find shelter.”
The scent of jasmine invaded his senses. Letty Sue. She’d closed her eyes moments ago, and now her head dropped onto his shoulder. She made sleepy sounds and he smiled. He wound his arm around her, carefully tucking her against him. She snuggled close.
“And between these two regions, a great river began to run….”
Chase slumped down lower on the sofa as he finished the story, careful not to awaken either of his two sleeping charges.
He, too, closed his eyes then, knowing sleep would surely claim him as well.
For Chase had never known a greater peace.
Chapter Eighteen
Letty Sue handed Sally her wedding bouquet, made up of colorful springtime flowers, then fluffed her blond curls. They stood inside Sally’s bedroom, waiting for the wedding music to begin. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Sally. Sam’s a lucky man.”
“I think I’m the lucky one, Letty Sue,” the bride-to-be exclaimed, her face beaming. “Who would have thought I’d find such a fine man right here in Sweet Springs? Oh, I do love him so.”
Letty Sue smiled graciously. “I’m happy for you both. Just think—my two best friends, married. Those little ones you’re going to have had better call me Auntie.”
“Oh my gosh! Children? Bite your tongue, my friend. I’ve had about enough of raising my brothers and sisters for a while. I want Sam and me to have…time, before a little one comes along.”
“Hmm,” Letty Sue replied wistfully. “Sometimes fate takes that out of your hands.”
“You mean, your little Jake?”
Letty Sue brightened. “Yes, he’s so…”
“You love him, don’t you, honey?”
“How can anyone not love that sweet child? He’s precious to me.”
Sally adjusted the taffeta skirt of her wedding gown, swishing when she turned to face Letty Sue in the cheval mirror. “I sneaked a peek at Chase and Jake sitting up in the front row. What a handsome family you have, Letty Sue.”
“Th-thank you,” she murmured, unable to meet Sally’s eyes in the mirror. Instead, she smoothed out the back of Sally’s gown. Letty Sue didn’t want to dampen Sally’s special day with her own troubles, but inside, her stomach churned. Three days ago she’d gotten a wire from her mother. Joellen and Jasper had had enough of the East and decided to shorten their trip. They could be home as soon as the end of the week. Letty Sue wondered if they truly were tired of traveling, or if her news was responsible for their early return. After all, learning that their daughter had a husband and a child certainly would raise a barrelful of questions.
Deliberately, Letty Sue hadn’t elaborated on either situation, but Joellen had wired her back, congratulating her on her marriage to Chase. Her mother had said Chase was a fine man and it gladdened her heart that they’d married.
Joellen’s homecoming meant only one thing of importance to Letty Sue. Chase, her husband, the man she’d fallen in love with, would have no more reason to stay.
She had balled up the wire in her fist when she’d received it, denying its contents in her mind. She’d thrown the telegram into the fire that evening and hadn’t told a soul, Chase especially. But the reality of her destiny could no longer be ignored.
Faint sounds of music from downstairs wafted up to the room. Sally jumped to attention. “Oh my! This is it!”
Letty Sue momentarily forgot her own distress and embraced her dear friend, kissing her cheek. “I’ll be going now. It’s time. Give me a minute before you come down. I want to watch your entrance coming down the stairs. Oh, Sally, I’m so glad this has all worked out for you.”
Sally grasped her hands tight and said quietly, “It’ll work out for you, too, Letty Sue. I have a good feeling about you and Chase.”
Letty Sue didn’t allow her smile to falter, yet in her heart, she knew nothing at all was working out the way she wanted.
Chase sat next to Letty Sue in the front row of chairs set up for the invited guests. Wearing pale blue satin, the color more than bringing out the deep-sea hue of her misty eyes, she’d never looked lovelier. A fancy matching hat no bigger than a flapjack sat on her head, over dark sable curls as big and round as sausages.
She dabbed at her eyes as Sam and Sally said their vows. Little Jake squirmed in his seat, and Chase put a hand on the boy’s shoulder to calm him.
He had an urge to take Letty Sue’s hand to comfort her, although he hoped her tears were ones of joy for her friends. She’d been so quiet lately, almost sad. He’d seen a forlorn look on her face for days now and wanted to ask what was wrong, wanted to console her. But since that night in
the parlor when she’d pleaded with him not to touch her, he hadn’t.
Not once. Not in any way.
And it was killing him.
His fingers itched to entwine with hers and squeeze gently in reassurance. He wanted to wrap an arm around her shoulder and bring her close. He did none of those things.
Once the vows were spoken, the festivities continued outside, under thick, shady mesquite trees decorated by the Henderson clan with paper hearts and colorful streamers. Food and spirits were in abundance, and after they’d all filled their bellies, the music began.
Jake ran off to play with two of the younger Henderson boys. Chase kept a vigilant eye on the lad, but his attention was also on his wife, dancing a polka with Bud Henderson, the young man closest to Letty Sue’s age.
Chase stood rigidly, watching man after man cut in and whirl Letty Sue around the dance area. Her hat was gone now, and the sable curls bounced against her cheeks and along her throat. Chase drew in a deep, sharp breath.
“Do you dance, Chase?” the bride asked. He hadn’t noticed Sally approaching until just then.
“Some.”
“Well then,” she said gaily, “I do believe this is our dance.”
The music slowed to a more sedate tune, and Chase glanced once more at Letty Sue, who was just starting to dance with the groom.
“I do believe it is,” he replied with a smile, taking Sally’s hand.
They moved to the music, Chase guiding her smoothly. “It was a nice ceremony, Sally. You and Sam look happy together.”
“Mmm. We are. It’s amazing how we only just got to really know each other. If his horse hadn’t thrown him that day, we might never have gotten together. Sam says sometimes what we want is under our very nose and it just takes some looking to find it.”
Chase arched a brow. “Sam says that, does he?”
“Oh yes. ’Course, he was just speaking about me and him, nobody else.” Sally cast him a coy smile.
“Of course,” Chase agreed.
After a minute, Sam sidled up next to them. “I’m cutting in, Chase. Switch partners. I want to dance with my wife. ” He grinned when he said the word, as if enjoying the sound of it on his lips.
Chase turned Sally over to him, then stared at his new dance partner, Letty Sue. He had an uncanny feeling he’d been set up by the groom, or the bride, or maybe both.
“Care to dance, darlin’?” He would let her decide if she wanted contact with him. They’d hardly spoken all week, except for polite conversation, most of it regarding Jake.
Her skin glowed from the exhilaration of dancing, casting a sheen of moisture to her face, but her eyes held a cautious look. She hesitated for a brief second before answering. “I—I’d like that, Chase,” she answered softly, and nearly floated into his arms.
Together, they moved and swayed gracefully to the music. Chase tucked her head under his chin, bringing her closer, and waited to see if she’d pull back.
She didn’t. Instead, she sighed into his chest. “It was a glorious wedding day for Sally and Sam.”
“It was. Different than ours,” he said, then wished he hadn’t. He didn’t want to dredge up the past, but rather relish the feel of Letty Sue’s pliant, giving body in his arms. He’d ached to touch her, to hold her, and didn’t want to destroy the moment. He’d have to hold this image in his mind and keep it there to bring up on cold, lonely nights.
“Ours was…” she began, but didn’t finish.
“Pretty bad?”
“That’s not what matters. Not really, Chase.”
Letty Sue wouldn’t elaborate. There was no need. She’d already decided it wasn’t the ceremony that bound two people together, but the love between them. She knew Sally and Sam had that, and tonight they would share their hearts, their bodies, their souls. It’s what marriage was truly about—loving and being loved.
Being in Chase’s arms, feeling their hearts beat in rhythm and their bodies blend so remarkably together, felt so right to Letty Sue.
She thought of Sally and what she would learn tonight in the arms of her husband. It was what Letty Sue wanted as well. She’d often thought that giving in to Chase would be settling for less than what she truly deserved, but now she knew differently.
Giving herself to the man she loved wouldn’t be “settling” at all, but rather a precious gift she could hold in her heart forever, a reminder of what might have been. She wanted to help mend Chase’s heart, but if that wasn’t going to happen, at least she could show him love, true love, and hope that one day he would recognize it as such and trust in her enough to believe that they had a future.
Time was running out.
Tonight, Letty Sue decided, she would know her husband in the real sense.
And she silently prayed that the man she loved wouldn’t turn her away.
Letty Sue put Jake down to sleep. His nightmares had ceased, thankfully. He’d had several more after that first one, and each time, she and Chase would calm and console him with love and tenderness. Chase had many stories to tell, and she would read to the child or placate him with a treat.
She stared down at Jake, sleeping peacefully in her bed, and sudden panic welled within. The uncertainty of her future involved the two males in her life—her husband, who was out seeing to the horses, and this one trusting little child.
She’d made her decision about Chase tonight, yet her feet were suddenly unable to move. Her heart raced erratically, thumping against her chest, the full impact of what she’d planned finally settling in.
If Chase cast her aside, the hurt and humiliation would be too much to bear. But if he didn’t, then maybe she’d have a chance at gaining his trust and healing his heart.
It was what she wanted, more than her next breath.
Spurred on by her bold resolve, she kissed Jake softly on the cheek and strode purposefully to her mother’s bedroom. She found the key Joellen kept in a sculpted mahogany jewel box, then moved to the foot of the bed and bent to open the large rectangular chest there. The pungent scent of cedar filled the room.
From amid the collection of finery, china plates and odd pieces of silver, Letty Sue lifted out a snow-white lace-and-gauze nightdress. With a silent gasp, she stroked the exquisite gown, running a finger along the lacy edge of the bodice.
The nightdress was a special gift from her mother, to be included with Letty Sue’s dowry. Joellen had commissioned a French dressmaker she’d once met in Fort Worth to design the gown for Letty Sue in the event of her wedding.
Letty Sue couldn’t think of a better time to wear it.
With swift efficiency, she removed her clothing and donned the beautiful gown, buttoning up the tiny front buttons, which barely came to the top of her ribs. The bodice dipped tight and low, barely containing her bosom.
Oh Lordy, Letty Sue.
If words failed her, Chase would certainly know what she had in mind with just once glance.
The back door closed with a slight thud. Chase had entered the house.
Right then, sudden realization dawned, like a storm cloud parting, allowing golden sunlight to peek through. Letty Sue knew that to earn Chase’s trust, she’d have to lay the truth out before him. There was no other way she could come to him, no other way to start clean and fresh.
She straightened her gown needlessly, the fabric flowing to the floor with smooth grace. She dabbed jasmine water onto her throat and shoulders, a bit between the valley of her breasts, then drew in a deep, steadying breath of air, calming her jittery nerves. Leaving her mother’s bedroom, she walked down the hall to the parlor door.
Her fate and her future lay on the other side.
Chapter Nineteen
Chase crouched down by the hearth and, with a long iron rod, poked at the fire he’d just built. A startling burst of blazing light illuminated the room before quickly dying to a low even flame. Deep in thought, he stared into the fire, recalling how he’d held his wife in his arms and danced with her at Sally’s wedding ea
rlier.
It was a good memory, one he could take to his grave, as his grandfather would say. When you got old, the memories were what you had left, he’d often advised. Chase hadn’t understood his grandfather at the time, his young mind filled only with “todays,” but now he understood what the old man had meant.
“Chase?” Letty Sue’s soft voice filled the room.
He didn’t dare look at her, not now, when he was still reeling from having her in his arms. “Is it the boy? Another nightmare?” He kept his focus on the dancing flames.
“No, Jake is sleeping peacefully. I, uh,” she began, “I wanted you to know Mama is returning home. She wired that she’ll probably be home at the end of the week.”
Chase squeezed his eyes shut, a deep pain slashing his gut. He’d known this day would come, he just hadn’t expected the impact to feel so damn miserable. Hell, he should be letting out a whoop of joy. He’d be free soon, his commitment to Joellen more than served, his vow to keep Letty Sue safe honored.
But he didn’t feel like celebrating.
Far from it.
“Chase?”
“Thanks for letting me know,” he muttered, still facing the hearth. “You can get back to bed now.”
“Chase, I intend to go to bed…with you,” she said quietly, her voice trembling.
Confused, Chase turned his head from the fire, then rose slowly, his gaze caught by the vision standing in the doorway. His mouth went bone dry and his chest heaved, tight and heavy, as he viewed his wife. She looked like some lovely, unearthly spirit, dressed in white. “Letty Sue?” he managed to croak. The vision stole almost all of his breath.
Her chin went up, but she spoke tenderly. “I want a wedding night, Chase.”
He blinked back his surprise, but found himself moving toward her, his willpower as charred and hollow as the timber he’d placed in the fire long minutes ago.
When he reached her, he took her hands in his, then let his gaze travel the length of her, lazily drinking in her luscious body with his eyes. The nightdress did nothing to hide her figure. She was exposed to him, through fine lace. He’d known she was beautiful, but tonight she was so much more.
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