by Shayla Black
But it wasn’t easy when she felt like a freaking idiot for running to him with her whole I need to sleep with Ryder before I die plan. What on earth had she been thinking? The guy had made it clear that he didn’t want to get down and dirty with her. Yeah, he’d made her come, but maybe that’d just been because he felt bad for not wanting her the way she wanted him. Which just made her pathetic. She wrapped her arms around herself a little bit tighter and stared out the window.
“The safe house is in the Westbrook neighborhood, on the north side of town,” he murmured, breaking the silence. “I have to swing by the station to get the keys, but that should only take a minute. Ben’s making arrangements for some extra security at the house, but we should beat them there.”
Without looking at him, she asked, “Who’s he sending over?”
He lifted his shoulder in a shrug, repeatedly checking the rearview mirror to make sure no one was following them. “I don’t know. But once they get there, I’m going to head back over to my place to pick up a few things.”
“Won’t that be dangerous?”
He shook his head. “Not if I go in on my own. I’ll be quick, and I know how to get in without being seen. I’ll also grab the stuff that you left in the guest room while I’m there.” As if he expected her to argue, he added, “But I won’t be gone long.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, figuring he was itching to get away from her. “Just do what you need to do. But be careful.”
She could feel the questioning force of his gaze as he turned his head to glance at her, before looking back at the road. But he didn’t say anything, and neither did she.
Thirty minutes later, they were pulling into the driveway of a Spanish-style, single-story house at the edge of a well-to-do neighborhood. Lily wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but she could understand Ben wanting to unload this place off the city’s budget if there wasn’t any need for it. Ryder drove up the flower-lined driveway, parking around the side of the house, and they made their way in through the side door using the keys he’d picked up on the way there. They took the time to do a walk-through, familiarizing themselves with the floor plan, and Lily told him she would like to take the smallest of the three bedrooms, so long as it was okay with him. She’d decided she liked its bathroom the best because of the gray and white tiles that covered the floor and the walls. They were similar to the tiles in the bathroom she had in her apartment back in Virginia, and she was desperate for anything that reminded her of home.
Picking her bag up from where Ryder had set it down by the sectional sofa in the living room, she said, “If you don’t need me for anything, I’m going to go ahead and grab a shower.”
“Another one?” he asked, pushing his hands in his front pockets as they eyed each other across the room. Her hair had still been damp when they’d left his house that morning, so he knew she’d taken one before getting dressed.
Deciding she wasn’t going to tiptoe around the issue, she gave him an honest answer. “My bare ass was on that grungy motel room carpet. I’ll feel a lot better when I’ve scoured myself with some soap and hot water.”
His gaze got a little sharper, as well as his tone. “You didn’t seem to care at the time.”
Lily snorted. “Trust me, once the glow faded and I realized what a liar you are, it’s all I’ve been thinking about.”
Before Ryder could argue his side of things, she left the room, closing the bedroom door behind her. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his eyes, a frustrated curse on his lips. Too wound up to sit down, he paced the length of the room a few times, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do about her. He still hadn’t come up with an answer when someone knocked on the front door. Rather than check the security cameras in the control room, he walked over and looked through the peephole, another gritty curse on his lips when he saw Mike Hudson standing out on the doorstep.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he growled, after jerking the door open.
“I’m your second set of hands,” Mike replied, a crooked grin kicking up the edge of his mouth.
Ryder’s eyes widened. “You are fucking shitting me.”
The jackass laughed as he stepped past him into the house, carrying several shopping bags in each hand, the strap of a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. “’Fraid not, super soldier.”
“I’m killing your brother.” He shut the door and locked it before turning to face the grinning pretty boy.
Setting the bags down in the tiled entryway, Mike’s tone was wry as he said, “This isn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my days off, so suck it up and be thankful that I said yes. You could have ended up with Alex.”
Ryder winced. Ben’s older brother was a good guy, but even more quiet and brooding than he was. The two of them together would have probably driven Lily crazy within an hour.
Then again, he was pretty sure that Alex wouldn’t hit on her, since that wasn’t his style.
As if he could read his mind, Mike laughed. “Before you suggest a trade, Alex is out of town on one of his P.I. cases. So I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. But there are groceries in a few of these,” he said, nodding toward the bags on the floor, “and I’ll even make dinner tonight. Nothing fancy, but I can do a mean Mexican spread. There’s lunch and breakfast stuff, too.”
Ryder crossed his arms over his chest, holding back another wince when he realized he and Lily still hadn’t eaten that day. Shit. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten to feed her. Pissed that he obviously hadn’t been thinking as clearly as he’d thought he was, he asked, “And what’s with all the other crap you’ve brought with you?”
Mike flashed his dimples. “I picked up a few things for Lily.”
“What kind of things?” He darted a suspicious look at the bags.
“I just stopped by a few stores in town and grabbed her some stuff. Jeans and tops. Things like that. Figured she wouldn’t have much, what with being on the run and all. And Reese sent over some books and movies that she thought she might enjoy.”
He grunted in response, wanting to tell Mike to take his “stuff” and shove it up his ass. But he knew Lily probably needed some more things to wear, especially since most of the clothing she’d had back at the motel was likely to be in bad shape after all that destruction. He just wished he’d thought of it himself.
When a half hour had gone by and she still hadn’t come out of her room, he went and knocked on her door, telling her that Mike was there. She came out dressed in jeans and a tight tank, her friendly smile for Mike setting his teeth on edge. Then Mike gave her the stuff he’d bought for her, and she actually hugged the jackass, making Ryder want to smash Mike’s perfect face in with his fist. After that, he’d figured he’d be in a tense, pissed-off mood for the rest of the day, but he eventually mellowed out when he realized she was treating Mike the same way she’d treated the guys in her dad’s unit—one of those friendly, big brother, asexual ways. He’d been the only one of Heller’s Hellions she hadn’t cut up with easily, and he’d never let himself think about why, knowing the answer could have been damn dangerous to his control. Either she’d been scared of him, or she’d wanted him, and he hadn’t wanted to know which it was at the time.
After they ate some sandwiches and chips, he made the quick trip over to his place for their things, the fact that she was alone with Mike motivating him to move even faster. He talked to Ben again on the phone while he was gone, giving him hell about the Mike situation, which had made Ben laugh, before they got down to the serious stuff. Ben told him that the thugs he’d left in the parking lot had been gone when the deputies arrived. The sheriff had all the available deputies in the county searching the town for any sign of Rado and his crew, and they hoped it wouldn’t be long before they had his location.
When Ryder made it back to the safe house, it felt good to see Lily’s obvious relief, though he tried not to let it show. But from the wry look on Mike’s face, he knew he’d done a shi
t job of it. The next few hours were spent going over all the security systems in the house, and he explained to Lily that Ben had deputies canvassing the town, searching for any signs of Radovich and his men.
Around six, the two of them helped Mike make dinner, filling the house with the spicy scents of cumin and cilantro. The more she and Mike cut up with each other, the quieter Ryder got, beginning to feel like the proverbial third wheel. Especially when they discovered that they loved the same movies and started jawing about actors and screenwriters. But he suffered in silence, determined not to complain, knowing it would just make him look like a jealous loser. Unfortunately, his patience didn’t last past the beginning of the meal. Lily carried their cold Coronas over to the table in the breakfast nook, taking the seat by the window, while Ryder brought over their plates. When he set her rice and tacos down in front of her, she looked up at him with a deadpan expression and asked, “Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?”
He sent her a quizzical look, remembering it was her favorite, while Mike snorted on the other side of the table and said, “Lips would be fine.”
Lily giggled. Mike smiled. And Ryder lost the tenuous hold on his temper. “What the hell is so funny?”
Before Lily could explain, Mike shouted, “Line!” and she ended up laughing so hard that tears filled her eyes.
“I swear to God,” Ryder bit out. “What the fuck is going on?”
“They’re just movie quotes,” she gasped, trying to stop laughing. “From The Three Amigos.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling a rough breath, then shoved his hand back through his hair and scowled. “Never heard of it,” he muttered, feeling like an idiot as he dropped into his chair.
Lily blinked. “Ohmygod! Steve Martin. Martin Short. Chevy Chase. El Guapo and the ‘Look up here’ scene. Have you really never seen it? Are you serious?”
His response was dry. “As a heart attack.”
With a sympathetic shake of her head, she reached over and laid her hand on top of his. “We’ll have to fix this. As soon as we’re done with this Rado nightmare, I’m buying a copy so we can watch it.”
He looked at her hand, making her aware of what she’d said and done, then lifted his gaze back to hers and slowly arched a brow. She looked away as she pulled her hand back, reaching for her beer and quickly changing the subject. Ryder remained silent as he ate his food, irritated with himself as he listened to her and Mike talk about their families and where they’d grown up.
“And your mom?” Mike asked, after wiping his face with his napkin. “Where is she?”
Pushing the rice on her plate around with her fork, she said, “She died when I was five.”
Mike winced. “Damn, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.” She gave him a little smile. “It was a long time ago.”
“So were you one of those teens who gave her old man gray hair?”
“In some respects, probably. But he was a great dad. I’m going to miss the hell out of him.”
Ryder fisted his hand on the tabletop, fighting the impulse to reach over and pull her onto his lap, where he could hold her close and comfort her.
“Jesus. I’m sorry. Again,” Mike murmured, looking more than a little pissed at himself as he leaned back in his chair. “I wasn’t thinking. You just lost him, and here I am bringing him up. I’m an ass.”
Shaking her head, she said, “No, it’s okay. He wouldn’t have wanted everyone acting all maudlin.” She was putting on a brave face. But the pain in her voice was unmistakable. “It actually feels good to talk about him.”
“You were close?”
She took another drink of her beer, then gave a soft laugh. “Yeah. I probably drove him crazy at times with all the nutty stuff I would do”—she flashed a look at Ryder that he didn’t quite know what to make of, then turned her gaze back to Mike—“but I settled down once I moved out. I don’t feel the need to push the limits anymore.”
Ryder had a feeling she was trying to explain something to him, but Mike’s next question snagged his attention before he could figure out what it was. “And what about men?”
Her head went back as she gave another laugh, this one richer and deeper. “What about them?”
Mike shot Ryder a knowing look as he leaned forward and braced his crossed arms on the table. Then he grinned at Lily as he asked, “Any significant others?”
Ryder tensed in anticipation of her response, but Lily just smirked and turned the tables on Mike. “Any in your life?”
The idiot flashed his dimples. “That would be ladies in my case, not men. And the answer is not yet. But I wouldn’t turn my back on her if I found her,” he admitted, grabbing his Corona again and tilting the bottle up to his lips. He gave Ryder another quick look that set his teeth on edge, and he suddenly wondered if Ben had sent his brother there with the express instructions to irritate the crap out of him.
“So what about you?” Mike asked her.
Ryder held his breath and kept his gaze on the table. But he was watching her from the corner of his eye as he waited for her to answer the question.
Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she said, “No one . . . significant. I’ve kept pretty busy with work and school, so it feels as if my time hasn’t really been my own until now.”
“What do you do?”
“I studied art history at school, which my dad didn’t think was at all practical, so I also majored in graphic design. I’ve been doing some freelance work the past few years and have been making good money. I’d taken off until January so that I could go on this boat trip with my dad, visiting a bunch of different places, but when we got back I was planning to open my own business.” With a little shrug, she added, “I guess that’s still the plan, once this whole . . . situation is over.”
While they continued to chat, Ryder lost himself in his own thoughts, only half listening to the conversation as it steered toward Mike’s work. He couldn’t let go of the way Lily had brushed off Mike’s question about boyfriends, wondering whom she’d dated after he’d left. If it turned out to be any of the guys from his old unit, he figured he’d probably end up killing them. Or at least tracking them down and making it clear why they’d be smart to never go near her again. There’d been so many times, over the years, when he’d been tempted to put his hacking skills to good use and keep electronic tabs on her from afar. But he’d been fully aware of his own weakness. He never would have been able to handle reading about her with another man.
But it didn’t mean he wasn’t curious as hell about what she’d been up to.
After they cleaned up the kitchen, Lily thanked Mike for an awesome dinner then told them both goodnight, saying that she wanted to read for a while before crashing. Ryder bit the inside of his cheek as he watched her walk away, knowing it would only have led to trouble if she’d stayed. Mike was heading off to better familiarize himself with the surveillance equipment in the control room, which meant he and Lily would have been on their own. Considering what had happened when they’d been alone in her motel room, it was smart to keep some distance between them. But that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he tried, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and used the house’s fitness room for a grueling workout on weights. He then ran five miles on the treadmill, pushing himself to go faster than his usual pace. But it didn’t help take his mind off Lily and the reason they were hiding out there. He was still jacked up on restless energy as he grabbed a shower in the bathroom attached to the bedroom he’d taken, which was right across the hall from Lily’s. He did his damnedest to stay away from her, but after two hours of fighting the inevitable, he finally gave in with a hoarse curse and crossed the hallway. Mike was taking the first watch, which meant he had until 4 a.m. to fucking lose himself in her. And since staying away appeared beyond his abilities, he planned to use every minute of the time he had.
He didn’t bother to knock, not wil
ling to risk her telling him to go away. And she hadn’t locked the door. He opened it, keeping his grip on the handle as he walked in, then pushed it shut behind him, flipping the lock. His sharp gaze had found her surprised the second he’d opened the door, and he didn’t look away as he took a few steps toward the bed, his heart hammering in his chest like a heavy bass drum.
Christ. He’d been so sure he could keep this from happening, but he’d been an idiot. She’d barely been back in his life for twenty-four hours, and he was already here. In her room. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Then he finally just said, “Fuck it.”
“What?”
“I said ‘Fuck it.’ I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you. I know I should, but it’s not gonna happen. So fuck it.”
Lily blinked as she set aside the book she’d been reading, unable to believe what he’d just said. She was so excited she wanted to squeal, but was terrified of ruining the moment. He was standing there dressed in nothing more than a well-worn pair of blue jeans that hung low on his hips, his body so gorgeous she was pretty sure she’d started drooling the second she set eyes on him. Broad shouldered. Long legged. Ripped and cut and lean, bringing to mind ancient warriors who fought to the death. She hated the scars that covered his tanned skin, but only because she knew that each mark held a history of violence and pain behind it. They didn’t detract from his beauty. If anything, they only made him more gorgeous in her eyes, since they were proof of how incredible he was. How brave and selfless and willing to put himself in harm’s way to protect others. God, if she’d been thinking clearly after her father’s murder, she would have figured out that Ryder would never let her get away from him once he knew her life was in danger. To do so would have gone against every natural instinct he possessed.
