Before he could land a single blow, a fist slammed into Julian’s gut. The wind was knocked out of him. Julian gasped and keeled over, clutching his torso. “Faggot,” one of the men spat out. The word shook in the air. Julian looked over at Romeo, who was limp against a gravestone and looking pale. The two men turned back to work him over.
Dizziness filled Julian’s head as he tried to stand. He couldn’t find the strength to get up. His stomach was tight and its sick feeling ran up into his lungs, forcing a painful coughing fit. Prickles of dirt and grass scratched against his skin. Again, he tried to move himself from the ground. But every breath in was a losing battle. The world had begun to spin.
“Romeo, please don’t be dead,” Julian managed to murmur. He watched, helplessly, as Romeo was tossed back and forth between the attackers. This was it, Julian realized, this was the end. He could hear the squelch of boots against the wet mud and the thud of their impact with Romeo’s limp body. Losing his grip on reality, Julian began to slip out of consciousness. He only wished he could be a little closer to Romeo. He wanted to reach out and hold his hand. He didn’t want to go into this darkness alone.
16
Coming To
Julian spun in a world of nothing, and it was oddly noisy. His thoughts were wordless, pure colour, movement, vibration. Then, as if waking from a dream, he felt himself pulled back toward something familiar.
There was a heavy weight on top of his chest. It was hard to open his eyes. But there were the loud noises again, clearer now. Words began to come to him, as if from a distance or from the other side of thick glass. He was back inside his body, aching and stiff, like he’d slept in a strange position. Julian managed to push his eyes open. Above him were bright lights and a bland, beige ceiling. Looking around, he saw blue curtains, a matching bedspread, and clear tubes running in and out of him.
The memory of what happened rushed back with a vengeance.
In his mind’s eye, Julian felt himself return to that hard ground, damp with blood. He was surrounded by the smell of the dirty leaves, itching grass, the grunting of his attackers. He remembered trying to fight back, and getting a blow to his stomach. There was that sharp and sudden pain. He remembered falling, losing his breath, and being barely able to move. Everything after that was misty and faint. How had they survived? His mind rec a vague sound, maybe an ambulance. And there had been strange voices too, asking him questions. He couldn’t remember the details of what had been said. He opened his eyes again and stared up at the fluorescent lights.
Julian wiggled his fingers and toes. Everything seemed to be responding as usual. He kept wiggling, not wanting to risk slipping back into that cold memory. As he focused on his hands and feet, a familiar voice boomed into the room. “My baby!” Before he could look, he was wrapped in his mother’s arms. Her warmth and familiar smell enveloped him.
Julian felt a pang of guilt. She must have been so worried. He was already racking up the ways in which this could be his fault.
“Oh, my precious jewel!” Angie sobbed into his hair. She kissed his forehead over and over. “You’re awake! Thank the Goddess!”
Julian squirmed, overwhelmed by her affection, even as he was glad to have her close.
Angie recounted the story of Julian’s arrival at the hospital. “As soon as you and that Romeo boy got here, they realized who you were,” she told him. “And I had to go off shift! I had to just sit there in the waiting room.” She scowled, her arms crossed in frustration.
Julian breathed a sigh of relief. Romeo was safe too. Or, at least, not left behind in the cemetery mud.
“And you’ll never guess who I met there,” his mother went on. Julian raised a brow in response, not having much energy for conversation. “A woman calling herself Mrs. Maria Montague.” Seeing his surprised expression, Angie nodded with satisfaction. “Yes! Apparently, she was the one that called it in. She saw the attack!”
Julian was shocked. Romeo’s mother had been there? That sounded like something he would have remembered.
“She told me she had been tracking Romeo’s cell phone,” Angie explained. “We had a while in there to talk.” Angie shrugged and said in a loud whisper, “She does seem to be an odd woman.”
Romeo had told him that his mother was overbearing, anxious, and often distant. Maybe that’s what Angie meant? Julian couldn’t stop himself from fixating on the fact that she’d been tracking Romeo’s phone. It was an uncomfortable thought, even if it turned out to be helpful at the end of the day. His mind was buzzing with questions. Julian only partially listened to all his mother had to say as she recounted her overnight struggle with the hospital, Mrs. Montague, and her own worries about her son.
Eventually, Julian found the strength to speak. “Where’s Romeo?” His lips cracked as they parted over the name.
Angie gave Julian a peeved look, and he managed to return the expression. Yes, it was understandable she was upset. But she wasn’t the one who had been beaten within an inch of her life!
With a sigh, she stood up to pull back the blue curtain surrounding Julian’s bed. There, sleeping soundly, was Julian’s love. Romeo looked peaceful like that, curled up in the adjacent hospital bed. But a turn of his head showed that his face had been stamped red and purple, and much of his upper body was bandaged. As if on cue, his eyes fluttered open. He winced as a smile rolled across his battered face.
“You’re alive,” Julian croaked. His eyes welled up with tears.
“I promised . . . I wouldn’t leave you,” Romeo croaked back.
“Teenagers, so dramatic,” Angie teased, a tear still in her eye. Julian shot her a look and she winked at him, leaning down to wrap him in another hug. Then she made her way over to Romeo, fussing over him and offering ice chips. Seeing Angie in full-on momma mode, Julian relaxed a little. He and Romeo were in safe hands with her around.
It wasn’t until he heard a new voice that Julian noticed there was someone else in the room — Romeo’s mother. She barely acknowledged the presence of Julian or Angie, focusing exclusively on Romeo. She said something to her son, too quiet for the others to hear. The tension of the room went up a few notches as Julian and Angie both looked from Romeo’s mother to one another, exchanging looks of concern.
Romeo fell asleep again quickly and Mrs. Montague left shortly after. “Blessed be,” mumbled Julian under his breath.
By the time visiting hours rolled around, Angie had already fetched snacks, magazines, flowers, and stuffed animals from the hospital gift shop. She placed them around the room with serious consideration. Julian didn’t mind. He knew his mother would never be satisfied just sitting around and waiting for him to get better. Plus, it was nice to have her caregiving energy flowing freely without focusing solely on him.
That day, Julian and Romeo had their first proper visitor — one of Romeo’s friends who called himself Marty. He came in with his head hanging like a sorrowful pup, looking positively pitiful. He wore that same sports jacket, with the blazing basketball. Julian shivered a little at the sight.
After Marty and Romeo shared a quiet conversation, Marty came over to meet Julian. He offered him a card. Julian was surprised to find it was signed from Guyna!
“Yeah, Romeo and I ran into her at that diner she works at,” Marty explained, letting out a nervous laugh. “I guess we had actually met before that — at that party. She — er, he,” Marty shrugged, “freaked me out so much that night, hardcore flirting with me!”
“Sounds about right,” Julian chuckled.
Marty seemed to brighten up a little, and even blushed slightly. “Anyway, we were . . . together last night. When we got the news, I mean, about you two.” Marty looked down again, studying his shoes.
Julian just nodded, curious but too tired to ask Marty for details. He was sure Guyna would fill him in later.
“She’s stuck at work,” Marty explained. “But she picked the card for
you.”
Julian looked down at the cover of the card. It featured a naked man standing at a mountain’s peak. The caption read, You Made It! Inside was simply the letter ‘G’ next to a lipstick kiss with a goatee outlined in eyeliner. Julian smirked.
Romeo had drifted off again before Marty even left. He slept most of that day and into the night. Julian began to worry, but Angie assured him it was perfectly normal. “His body’s trying to heal,” she told Julian, softly petting his hair. “Plus, he’s full to the brim with pain meds.” She kissed Julian’s forehead. “Just let him rest.”
Julian still worried. He fidgeted with his fingernails. He wasn’t sleeping as much as Romeo. Did that mean that his body wasn’t healing? Or did it mean that Romeo was much worse off? As Julian tried to rest, his dreams were haunted with memories of that fateful night. The faces of their attackers morphed into those of his high-school bullies. He woke up in a cold sweat, calling out for Romeo. Angie rushed to his side, groggily trying to reassure him. He was safe now.
17
A Call to Action
Lyla and Rose were the first to arrive on Julian and Romeo’s second day in the hospital. The girls brought treats and get-well-soon gifts. The room was starting to look like a second gift shop!
Rose rushed to Romeo’s side, while Lyla came to see Julian, offering chocolate.
“How you holding up?” she asked.
Julian took a chocolate and chewed on it. He looked Lyla over. “Not great,” he admitted.
Lyla wrinkled her eyebrows. “It’s not your fault.”
“You don’t know that,” Julian replied, pulling back. “I could have . . . I should have . . .” He felt his face grow hot and sighed in frustration.
“You’re still alive. That’s something, right?” said Lyla. “You survived. That’s incredible.”
Julian looked over at Romeo. He was thankful they were alive. Angie was catching a quick nap in the visitor’s chair, and Julian’s chest squeezed a little at the thought of how she would feel if he wasn’t around anymore. He could see that Lyla was glad he was alive, too. Finally, he looked down at his own body. As bruised and sore as he was, Julian remembered the last moment before he blacked out. He remembered how scared he’d been that this could be the end. Maybe surviving was pretty good, given what could have been.
“I guess,” Julian finally answered.
“You’re more than the hate people put on you, you know,” Lyla said in a gentle voice.
Julian just nodded and looked away.
Lyla placed the rest of the gifts they brought on the windowsill. There were some balloons, a stuffed animal, and more snacks. “What’s this?” she asked, picking up something small that glinted in the light. Julian recognized it instantly — Romeo’s class ring! His mind suddenly raced to remember everything that had happened before the attack.
Julian reached for the ring and smiled up at Lyla. “It’s Romeo’s.” It was too big for his finger, but Julian slipped it on anyway.
Lyla glanced to where Romeo was chatting with Rose. “You know, they’re best friends, too?” She chuckled. “What are the chances?”
“Yeah?” Julian blushed and looked down. “Am I . . . still your best friend?”
Lyla looked surprised. “Of course!” she answered.
“It’s just . . .” Julian said, “Here I am. Helpless. Again! And my mom, and you, have to take care of me — again!” He sighed. “I told myself I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Julian,” said Lyla, her voice more stern than he had expected, “You’ve always been there for me. So I’m always going to be there for you.” Her face softened as she added, “You’re more than the expectations people put on you, too, you know. You can just be you.”
Julian looked down. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “But . . .” his voice trailed off. “I mean, we’ve barely talked in a year!”
Lyla shrugged. “You were going through a hard time.” She looked over at her girlfriend. “And I’ve been . . . busy.” Julian followed her gaze. They watched Romeo and Rose, laughing together and hugging. “I’m sorry,” Lyla said at last. Julian gave her a quizzical look. “I should have made more of an effort,” she admitted. “When you stopped answering, I should have shown up in person. Or tried to talk to your mom. But then I met Rose, and everything changed.” She gently sighed, gazing at her partner.
Julian took Lyla’s hand. “I’m sorry, too. And I get it — falling in love can really turn everything upside down! Look at us, turning into a couple of sappy romantics!”
Lyla laughed and passed him another chocolate. With each bite, Julian was feeling better.
As Rose and Lyla were getting ready to leave, a familiar and unwelcome figure appeared in the doorframe. Mrs. Montague was back again. She stood quietly just outside the room, looking hesitant.
“Hi there,” Angie spoke up, fully awake from her afternoon nap.
Mrs. Montague gave a quick glance out of the corner of her eye and a cursory nod toward Angie.
“We were just going,” Rose said, tugging on Lyla. “We’ll see you around.”
The two young women waved goodbye and were out the door in a flash, leaving Julian and Angie alone with Mrs. Montague. Romeo had drifted off while talking to Rose and slept on soundly.
Mrs. Montague simply walked over to Romeo and put her hand on his head. She began what looked like a quiet prayer. Julian watched for a while but he began to feel like he was the one invading her space. So, he looked away and went back to studying Romeo’s class ring.
After a while, Romeo awoke, but Mrs. Montague did not become any more talkative. It seemed like she was waiting for her son to apologize. The concept might have made Julian laugh if he wasn’t so angry with the woman. If anyone was to blame for this, Julian decided, it was Mrs. Montague and her husband. They were the ones who made Romeo run off in the first place. They were the kind of people who tried to pass their bigotry down to their children, by force if necessary, all under the guise of protecting them. Julian could tell that Angie was thinking something similar, and they shared a disapproving look.
Before the mothers and their sons could interact, a new pair of visitors arrived. First, a teacher from Romeo’s school burst into the room, desperately apologetic. He was followed by a woman who walked in as if she held all the solutions. Julian recognized her right away. He’d most recently seen her marching down Osborne Street. It was Joanna Duke, Paris’s mother and the big-time activist who had been organizing with Angie.
“Mrs. Duke?” Romeo said. “What are you doing here?”
“You know her, too?” Julian asked.
“She’s the vice principal at my school,” Romeo replied. “Wait — how do you know her?”
“Don’t you watch the news?” Angie asked.
Joanna Duke began speaking over all of them. “Please know I am sincerely sorry for what has happened. The offending parties have been apprehended, or shall be shortly.”
Julian wasn’t sure how he felt about that statement — or this woman, for that matter. She spoke like someone about to ask for a political favour.
“Romeo, please be advised that your suspension has been lifted. Clearly, we misunderstood the situation.”
Romeo nodded. “Uh, thanks.”
“Mrs. Montague,” Joanna Duke said with a nod, then turned to Julian’s mother. “Angie. Would you both join me in the hall? I have something I’d like to discuss.”
“If it’s about us, just say it to us!” Julian interjected.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” Joanna Duke began.
Julian was about to argue, but when he turned to his partner for support, he saw that Romeo was already slipping back into sleep. Maybe she had a point. Romeo probably had already had enough talk for one day.
“Well, I’m coming anyway,” Julian said. He got up from the bed, a little shaky.
Feeling awkward in his hospital gown, he made his way to the hall, following the three women.
Joanna Duke began, addressing the two mothers. “There is clearly a great need to address the homophobia and transphobia that remains persistent in our educational system.” Julian nodded. He agreed with her on that at least. “To this end, I have been leading a group demanding that the board require all public schools to include a course on gender and sexuality studies.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” Angie replied, hand on her hip. “Half the meetings have been held at my house!” Mrs. Montague seemed to curl back a little at Angie’s language. Julian smirked.
Joanna Duke gave a quick nod. “Of course. So, as some of you may know, this course would aim to empower students to understand themselves, dispel ignorance, and prevent the kind of hateful actions these boys suffered just a day ago.”
“All right,” Mrs. Montague said. Her voice was surprisingly calm, yet still cautious. “What does that mean for us? And my Romeo?”
Joanna Duke nodded again. “My request, for you both, is to allow your sons to share their story. Allow them to speak at the rally next week.”
Angie’s whole face lit up with excitement. But she held her tongue, saying simply, “It depends on what Julian wants.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” Mrs. Montague replied. “It’s just, with all that’s happened, is it wise to expose them to more . . . attention?”
Julian felt himself choke up for a moment. He realized that he actually agreed with Mrs. Montague. For that very reason, though, he began to question his first thoughts. He looked to his mother, who simply raised her eyebrow. Turning back, he looked at Romeo through the window. He was sound asleep.
“Let me ask him,” Julian suggested.
18
Choice
“You’re going home,” said the afternoon nurse to Julian. She seemed to be in her mid-fifties, with short, brown hair, and a clinical, direct tone.
Julian’s stomach clenched up. “What, really?” he asked. He turned to Romeo. “What about him?”
Just Julian Page 7
