by P J Stanley
“What parenting? You always allowed that girl to do whatever the hell she wanted. You were a doormat. And when you weren’t being a doormat, you were in the corner drowning your sorrows in a bottle of gin.”
“Yeah, and you buried your sorrows into your receptionist’s mouth. How can you sit there and throw that in my face? You know I was trying. You know how sick I was.”
“Are you still going to your meetings?” Mitch asked.
“Why is that any of your business?” Emily asked sharply.
“I’m just asking. Callie’s aunt goes and she told her she hasn’t seen you in a couple of months,” Mitch said, leaning back in the chair as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Do you see a liquor bottle anywhere?” Emily asked, turning in her chair as her eyes scanned the kitchen.
“You hid them well.” Mitch giggled.
“Have I been going? No,” Emily said, shaking her head. “I’m a lot better than what I was. I’m down to a glass of wine every week.”
“Well, that’s good. Where’s old Hank at, hammering some nails into a two by four somewhere?” Mitch asked.
“Yeah, he’s doing real work, you know, something you know nothing about,” Emily said, grinning.
“Yeah, I bet these construction jobs have a great retirement plan.” Mitch groaned, rolling his eyes.
“He’s a good man, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“Where’s the ring? Do I hear wedding bells?” Mitch asked sharply, eying her bare hands.
“Aren’t you just inquisitive tonight?” Emily said, shifting in her chair as she crossed her legs beneath the table.
“Just curious is all.” Mitch winked as he grabbed his mug and took a sip, his thin lips wrapping around the rim.
“If I call Blair, will you leave?” Emily smiled.
“If that’s what it takes.” Mitch nodded.
“God, how did I stay married to you for so long?” Emily groaned as she reached across the table and grabbed her cellphone. She scrolled through her contacts and pressed her index finger against Blair’s picture. Emily placed the phone to her ear as the robotic ring chimed through the speaker.
“Hey, this is Blair! You know what to do!” Blair’s voice rang out, blaring in Emily’s phone speaker.
“Voicemail,” Emily said, ending the call and setting her phone back on the table.
“We’ll see about that,” Mitch said as he dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone. Mitch scrolled along his touch screen, tapped on it with his finger, and placed the phone to his ear. Mitch’s fingers tapped on the wooden surface of the table as Emily could hear the rings echoing from the speaker placed against his ear. “Damn it,” Mitch sighed as he ripped the phone from his ear and dropped it on the table.
“Shocker,” Emily said sarcastically as she grabbed her mug, taking a slow sip as the hot steam circled through her nose.
“I just don’t want our relationship to end up like the one I have with my own father,” Mitch said, head hung, staring down at his lap. Emily swallowed as she stared down at the tea in her mug, swirling around and around as she twirled her spoon through it. When she and Mitch met in college, that was their common denominator, their horrible parents. Mitch’s father, Wesley, was a total nutcase. He kicked Mitch out when he was sixteen. A veteran honorably discharged after a grenade blew his right arm off. After that, when Wesley came back, he had changed.
He ran his family like a well-oiled military machine. And if you slipped, if you didn’t listen, you got the belt, or the punches or the kicks. He was a bastard, a wife-beater, and a pill-popping maniac. So, when Mitch finally came clean about his father’s twisted ways in their sophomore year at Basler, their relationship blossomed.
It was no longer about the sex or the good times they had. It was the fact they shared the same skeletons they desperately fought to keep in their respective closets. They were both victims. But they were also both survivors.
“Then don’t let it. Just give her time, Mitch,” Emily said as she reached across the table and grabbed Mitch’s trembling hand. “You know she loves you. You know that, despite all the differences, she’s still your daughter and you’ll always be her father.”
“I’m just scared,” Mitch said, squeezing Emily’s hand. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“You won’t,” Emily said, shaking her head as she fought back tears. “She’ll come around. You just have to give her time. Call her again and leave a message. Tell her how much you love her and how much you miss her. Tell her you’re sorry, even if you’re not. Even if that’s the hardest thing in the entire world to say out loud, it’ll be the most meaningful thing to her. She knows you love her, and you know she loves you. Sometimes, you just have to swallow your pride and jump.”
“When did you get so smart?” Mitch smirked, smiling.
“I’m a mother. It comes naturally.” Emily snickered as Mitch laughed, his hand squeezing Emily’s tighter and tighter.
innocent
The bottom of Emily’s white sneakers slammed on the wet, slick pavement of the parking lot in front of the Green Springs Apartment complex as she turned, slamming the door of her vehicle beside her. Emily glanced up at the gray morning sky as she watched the clouds roll above, twisting and turning against the sun’s bright rays hidden beneath their twirling white clusters. Emily felt the soft drizzle blanket her warm cheeks as she marched forward, tugging the straps of her red peacoat around her waist. Blair had never sent her the pictures of Greece or returned any of her calls last night. Emily had tossed and turned all night, the sheets tangling around her restless legs like a set of vines dragging her deeper and deeper into a sleepless void. Something inside of her felt unsettled. It was as if every sense inside of her was turning against her body, sending secret signals that something wasn’t right. She couldn’t turn it off. No matter how many positions she tried or how many times she closed her eyes, counting sheep. This distressing silence wasn’t like Blair, plain and simple.
Emily stepped up on the concrete walkway and sped forward, eying the entrance to the building ahead. She glanced back, her eyes scanning the parking lot to see Blair’s silver Jeep, still parked in her normal spot, two spaces from the handicap spot. Emily reached forward and tugged the silver handle of the glass door open and stepped inside. The warm heat pressed against her rosy, cold cheeks as she stepped into the entrance hall and made her way toward the metal elevator doors ahead. Emily reached forward, pressing her pointer finger firmly against the elevator button. The metal doors parted in front of Emily as she stepped forward, making her way inside the tiny elevator. Emily reached forward, pressing the glowing level four button.
Was she doing too much? What if this was Blair’s way of saying she needed space? She never wanted to crowd her daughter. She never wanted to make her feel like she was drowning, smothering in her mother’s hands that always held on her just a little too tight. But Blair would tell her. She would have been honest. She would have picked up the phone and told her she needed some time. But there was nothing. Not a text response. Not a phone call. It just didn’t make sense. She had been gone for a year. The last thing she probably wanted right now was space. At least, that’s what Emily prayed for. The elevator doors parted open before Emily as she raced forward, making her way down the hallway as the bottoms of her sneakers sped along the stained, red hallway carpet. Emily’s tongue stuck firmly to the roof of her parched mouth as she rushed around the corner of the hallway, her eyes locked on the black door at the end of the hallway.
4B.
She had to be inside.
She had to be here.
Emily stepped up to the door and tapped her knuckles against the cold, hard, wooden surface three times. Emily swallowed as she glanced at the hideous carpet, the fluorescent light above shimmering down on her like a ray of heaven’s blinding light. But there was no answer. The silence rang through Emily’s ears as she quickly reached forward and grabbed the golden doorknob tightl
y and turned. Emily slowly stepped forward as the door creaked open, her sweaty hand still wrapped around the handle as she gazed into the living room inside.
“Blair?” Emily called out as she stepped inside, shutting the apartment door firmly behind her. “Blair, are you here?” Emily asked as she eyed the burning candle on the black coffee table, the sweet smell of pumpkin and cinnamon swirling through the air. Emily stepped forward as she examined the deserted living room. Everything was in its usual place. The gray sectional, untouched; the fleece blanket still draped along the back and the matching black-and-white marble pillows, undisturbed. Emily slowly turned, stepping into the small kitchenette to her right. Not a single dirty dish in the sink. The apartment was immaculate, not a single speck of dust, dirt, or trash anywhere in sight. Sure, Blair was a bit of a neat freak, but never this neat. This almost seemed excessive.
“Babe, are you back?” a deep voice rang out from behind Emily as she spun around. Emily turned as Cole Carrigan rounded the corner, stepping into the small kitchenette, a white towel wrapped around his waist. His wet, muscular torso shimmered in the soft gray sunlight piercing through the silk curtains above the kitchen sink. “Oh, hi, Miss Keller. I’m sorry, I didn’t—” Cole said, his voice trembling as tiny drops of water dripped from his soaked, shaggy blonde hair.
“Cole, don’t worry, I’ve seen a man before.” Emily giggled as Cole smirked, his cheeks growing red.
“Did Blair come back with you?” Cole asked, swallowing as he bit the inner right corner of his mouth nervously.
“What? What do you mean?” Emily asked, her eyebrows raised in confusion as she stepped toward Cole.
“After she got back from lunch with you yesterday, we had a bit of a fight. She said she was going to stay with you for the night,” Cole said, staring down at his wet, bare feet pressed firmly against the tile floor.
“What did you guys have a fight about?” Emily asked as she spun, eying the tidy kitchen that surrounded her.
“It’s a long story. I don’t really want to get into it.” Cole sighed, shaking his head as he turned and rested his back against the corner of the wall beside him.
“Well, she wasn’t with me, Cole. She wasn’t at my house at all last night,” Emily said as she swallowed. If their fight was bad enough, Blair would have called.
“That’s just what she yelled at me before she stormed out,” Cole said, his head hanging down in shame. “Where the hell could she have gone?”
“Have you talked to Zoey? Does she know?”
“Why would Zoey know?” Cole asked, crossing his chiseled arms over his pecs.
“Well, girls do talk, Cole.” Emily laughed, shaking her head.
“Not them, not anymore, at least,” Cole said sternly. “They haven’t really talked in, well, probably a year or so.”
“What? We just—she just told me yesterday that they were good, that she missed her while she was gone,” Emily said, her eyes narrowing on Cole in front of her.
“Look, all I know is that before Blair left for Greece, they had a falling out. Blair never really went into detail, but she pretty much cut her out of our lives entirely. I didn’t really mind if you ask me. Zoey’s annoying as hell.”
“Do you know if she’s home?” Emily asked, shoving her hands into the front pockets of her peacoat.
“Yeah, I saw her this morning getting the mail. She’s two doors down, sadly.”
***
The black wooden door of apartment 1B slowly opened as Emily stared back inside at Zoey Duncan, the person she thought was Blair’s best friend…
“Miss Keller, what are you doing here? It’s been so long.” Zoey grinned, her perfect, white smile beaming back at Emily.
“I know, it really has.” Emily snickered. “Do you mind if I come in? I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.”
“No, of course not,” Zoey said, shaking her head as her blonde hair swayed, her long locks tied in a high pony. Emily stepped inside as Zoey closed the door behind her, turning the deadbolt. “There was a break-in on the first level last night so I’m kind of shaken up about that.”
“Oh, my gosh, that’s horrible,” Emily said, her eyes wide, as she stepped into the living room and plopped down on the white leather loveseat sitting in front of a large flat screen mounted on the gray wall.
“Yeah, it was pretty crazy. The cops were here for hours and the sirens kept me up all night.” Zoey yawned as she grabbed the edges of her tan cashmere cardigan and wrapped it around her thin frame, folding her arms over her chest, holding the jacket closed. Zoey lowered herself down into the white loveseat beside the sofa as she grabbed a black chunky knit blanket and draped it over her legs.
“I know me showing up at your door seems really random.” Emily giggled as she nodded.
“Just a tad.” Zoey laughed nervously as she picked at the knitted fabric of the blanket with her polished nails.
“I just wanted to ask you if you’ve seen Blair. I guess she and her boyfriend, Cole, had a fight last night. She said she was going to stay with me, but she never showed up. Do you know where she might have gone? Did she have any other friends?”
“Not that I know of,” Zoey said, shaking her head. “I mean, me and Blair don’t really talk all that much anymore. I mean, we pass by each other on the way to class or in the hall, but we aren’t really on the same level that we used to be.”
“Can I be a super nosey mom and ask why?” Emily smirked.
“It’s really complicated, Miss Keller.”
“Please, call me Emily. you’re making me feel ancient.” Emily laughed.
“I’m sorry.” Zoey grinned, staring down at her lap. “I guess we just kind of drifted. I mean, things just weren’t quite right before she left for Greece. Her and Cole were fighting a lot. She started pulling away. She wouldn’t respond to my texts or phone calls. It was like she vanished off the face of the Earth. Eventually, I just gave up; I stopped trying.”
“Her and Cole were fighting a lot?”
“Yeah, like every night. I could hear them two doors down.” Zoey groaned, rolling her eyes.
“Do you know what they were fighting about?” Emily asked, leaning forward as she rested her elbows on her knees.
“God, I lost count of all the reasons.” Zoey sighed. “He didn’t want her to go to Greece. He was scared she’d find some sexy Greek God and forget all about him. He was jealous, but he always has been.”
“Really? She’s never mentioned anything. She’s always said he was a perfect gentleman.”
“Well, did you ever tell your mother about your boy troubles? I mean, once you tell your mom, the guy is pretty much screwed after that. If mom hates him, the whole world will hate him.” Zoey smiled.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point, there.” Emily laughed. “So, did you see her last night? Did you hear from her? Did you hear her and Cole fighting?”
“I went out last night. I was on a blind date. I left at around six and didn’t get home till eight or eight-thirty.”
“So, you didn’t see her before or after?”
“No, ma’am,” Zoey said. “I got home, took a bath, and went right to bed.”
“I’m sorry I’m asking all these questions. It’s just that—” Emily stopped, staring down at the tan carpet, searching for the words that were building up inside her. “You know Blair, Zoey, or at least, you did. You know she tells me everything. You know she wouldn’t go somewhere without telling me or Cole. Her car is still outside, so she either walked, or she had a ride.”
“You’re wrong, Miss Keller. I really don’t know Blair, anymore.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve taken enough of your time,” Emily said as she stood up from the sofa.
“And I don’t think you do, either,” Zoey spat out, her eyes looking up to Emily.
“What?” Emily asked, lowering herself back down on the sofa.
“I don’t think you know Blair all that well anymore, either. She’s changed,” Zoey s
aid, staring down at her lap, her eyes filling with tears.
“How so?”
“Before she left for Greece, she was skipping class and going to the bars. She never did any of that before. That’s why we got along so well. I mean, we used to study and drink wine and stay in and hang out. All of a sudden, she became this, this party girl. She was always out late. She was always acting so shady.”
“Do you think she’s on drugs?” Emily asked.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.” Zoey shrugged. “All I know is she changed. And then she was talking about leaving Cole and moving out of the apartment and dropping out.”
“She was talking about dropping out?” Emily gasped, her eyes wide. Were they talking about the same Blair? The same Blair that threw a fit about missing half a day in second grade because she had to get a tooth pulled? The same Blair who got perfect attendance her entire four years of high school? The same Blair who didn’t even skip on senior skip day?
“Yeah,” Zoey said sharply. “I was shocked they even allowed her to go to Greece. I mean, her grades were seriously slipping before she left. But, somehow, she pulled it off.”
“I just can’t believe what I’m hearing right now,” Emily said as she stood up, making her way to the window as the millions of questions flooded her spinning head. Emily stared out through the parted yellow curtains, eying Blair’s parked car far below as the raindrops started pelting against the glassy surface, the water trickling down the window in front of her in tiny streams and rivers. Why would Blair lie about all of this? Why would she lie about her friendship with Zoey? Why would she lie about how happy she was with Cole? All the questions swirled through her head, the lies circling like a tornado, shattering every piece of trust she had in Blair.
“She’s just not as innocent as you thought, Miss Keller,” Zoey said as she stood up from the lounge chair. Emily slowly turned from the window, her eyes settling on Zoey as she stepped toward her. “I know parents want to believe their kid is a diamond, a perfect person and a stand-up student. She was, at some point, but something snapped inside of her. I don’t know what that was, exactly. But she had me fooled. And from the sound of things, she had you fooled, too.”
