by T. R. Briar
“I told you, we come back here every night when we fall asleep.” He looked her up and down. “You did wake up eventually, didn’t you?”
Apolleta shook her head. “I’ve been here ever since you left. It felt like forever. I wandered around that ledge, trying to avoid all those flames, scared outta my wits that another one of those mechanical lizard things would show up outta nowhere. And then I just started running. I wanted to get away from there. And then I was here. It’s not as bad as that other place, but there’s still so much fire!”
Rayne didn’t know what to think about that. This woman didn’t seem dead to him, but it had been an entire day since they’d last met. He wondered if Darrigan could tell him more, but he realized he was here alone. Gabriel and Darrigan had been left behind.
“Are you looking for something?” Apolleta had noticed him glancing around for his former companions.
“I was with some others,” he said. “I must have lost them.”
“That’s right, you mentioned there were others.” Her eyes went wide. “Jesus, what happened to your arm!?”
Rayne glanced down at the limb hanging by his side.
“Bleeding monster attacked me,” he said. “I think it’s dislocated; it doesn’t hurt that badly, but it’s a bit awkward.”
She reached out. “My nephew threw his arm outta whack once. Grit your teeth, this is gonna be a bitch.”
Rayne cried out in sudden pain as she popped the arm back into the socket.
“Your skin is freezing,” she remarked as she drew her hands away. “And are those teeth marks? What the hell you been doing?”
“More monsters. Listen, Apolleta, I’ve found out some things about this place. I think you need to know.”
He sat down on one of the few rocks not covered in molten lava and beckoned for her to join him. She listened intently as Rayne explained everything he’d learned that night. He told her about his own experiences, about Gabriel, and everything that Darrigan had told him, but was careful to frame his words to make the reaper sound a little less terrifying. She listened, but couldn’t hide her fear, and her face filled with more despair the longer he talked. He saw this and tried to put a hand on her shoulder.
“You just got here. You probably have the best chance of any of us to escape.”
She jerked away from him, still in a state of muted shock. “Sorry,” she said. “Your hand is like ice.”
“You think I’m happy about that? It’s not like I wanted to turn into a bleeding snowman!”
She watched the ground. “So we’re all only going to get worse. Unless we redeem ourselves somehow.”
“I believe so. If we can find out exactly why we were sent here— Maybe there’s some way to atone for it. If it works, and we can redeem ourselves, then we’ll be free of this place.”
“So what’d you do wrong?”
“I don’t know. I lost a lot of my memories in the accident so, if I did something truly horrible, I think I may have forgotten it. And what about you?”
Her mouth frowned, and she narrowed her eyes. “Man, I didn’t do anything wrong. There’s gotta be some mistake! That jackass that shot me is the one that deserves to be here!”
“Why did he shoot you?”
“Hell if I know, probably some junkie looking for cash.”
“But you knew his name. You called him Tyler.”
“What is this, a trial?”
“Well, I am a lawyer,” he joked.
He felt her smoldering glare directed at him. “I shoulda known; no wonder you’re in Hell.”
“Now that’s just uncalled for. My firm represents business interests, not criminal.”
“I dunno if that gets you off the hook, man. A lawyer’s a lawyer.”
Rayne turned his mouth down, a little annoyed. “Well, it’s not like every company is innocent. I suppose I could have inadvertently represented some shadier clients. I’ll have to look into it when I wake up. But you need to find out what you did and make it right. Unless you want to end up like the rest of us.”
As a firm reminder he reached out and put his hand against her cheek, causing her to recoil at the frozen touch.
“I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything wrong!” She turned her head to avoid eye contact with Rayne. “But when I wake up, if I wake up, I’ll think about it.” She reached down and picked up a small rock, flicking it towards one of the flame-spewing craters. “What about the others? What sins have they done?”
“The only other chap I’ve met is a senator. He doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, either.”
“A politician? Figures,” she muttered. “Look, I’m a good person. I’m not some senator or lawyer. I’m not some ghetto crackhead, either. I grew up in the suburbs, with a nice family. I work in real estate, and I share an apartment with my sister, so I can help take care of her kids since her husband walked out on her. She means the world to me and I’d do anything to protect her! I always try to do the right thing! So why am I here?” Her head bent forward, and Rayne could see her trying not to sob. He wanted to reach out and reassure her, but knew she’d find no warmth in his embrace, and would only recoil again at his touch.
He could feel the time had come; he was starting to fade from the world again. Apolleta looked at him and realized it too.
“So, you’re going to leave me again?” she grumbled.
“I’m sorry; I can’t control it. But tomorrow night, I’ll find you again, all right? I think I understand how to do it at will now.” He reached out, but his hand passed through hers. “You just hang on, I know you’ll wake up someday. We can end this nightmare, I know it.”
She nodded, and Rayne saw her half-hearted attempt at a smile before she and the Abyss vanished.
Chapter 6
Rayne awoke in his bed. He realized David must have carried him there after he fell asleep in his chair, and was glad for the thoughtfulness. For a while, he decided to just lay there in his bed, feeling the soft sheets rub against him, staring up at the ceiling, thinking. He held up his good hand and looked at it in the morning sunlight. His skin was fair, but it wasn’t as pale and clammy as a man at death’s door. In the past, that would have been enough to convince him his nightly experiences were just a dream, but he knew better now.
He heard footsteps, and clanking pots and plates coming from the kitchen, and decided to get out of bed. Carefully he edged towards his wheelchair, which David had left nearby, and pulled himself up into a sitting position, transferring his body to the chair.
Upon arriving in the kitchen he saw David making a late lunch for himself.
“Oh, you’re up,” he said. “Care for a sandwich?”
Rayne waved a hand to decline.
“You really need to eat something.”
“Fine, toss me an apple.”
David selected the red fruit from the bowl on the counter and tossed it towards Rayne, who caught it in one hand. He bit into it, trying to savor the juices, but it felt like an empty pursuit right now. At least it didn’t rot away in his hand.
“You sleep well?” David asked.
“Better, I suppose.”
“Good, very good,” David sat down at the kitchen table with his food. “You look a lot better today.”
Better? Rayne didn’t feel better. “How’s that?”
“You don’t seem to be in nearly as much pain. I think your ribs are healing nicely, and that cast is coming off your arm soon. You might even be able to return to work.”
“Oh. Right.” Work had slipped Rayne’s mind. “Listen, about that—”
“I know it’s been hard. But you’ve gotten much better at using your wheelchair. You’re even getting in and out of bed without my help. That’s fairly impressive with one arm. Though, I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“It’s not that.”
“You’re not ready to go back? That’s understandable.”
“No, I mean—Forget it.”
“Look, Rayne, someth
ing is obviously bothering you. You don’t have to keep silent about it. If there’s something you need to talk about, I’m right here.”
“What good would that do?” Rayne’s voice rose, but he repressed his emotions and returned his face to a stony look.
“That is exactly what I’m talking about. You keep bottling it up, like you’re too terrified to feel anything. Even before the accident. I’ve noticed, and Levi has noticed. You’re miserable because you’re too uptight to just—I don’t know, be you! And there’s little I can do to change that. I’ve tried. Boy have I tried.” David tore into his sandwich. “I suppose I’m partly to blame for it.”
“You keep telling me I’m not me. Why is that? Who am I supposed to be, then? You want me to go back to the drunken idiot who spent his nights pissed out of his mind at the pub, sleeping with a different girl every night? That changed when Levi came into my life. That’s not who I am anymore!”
He bit into his apple again, using it as a distraction now. David didn’t say anything, but Rayne knew how stubborn his friend was, and that he’d keep pushing the matter until he gave in. He rolled his wheelchair up to the table, resting his elbow on the wooden surface.
“I need to ask you something,” he said, his voice rather hushed.
David paused from eating his sandwich to give him his full attention.
“I just, with my memories missing, I just can’t—hell, I don’t know how to put this.” Rayne clenched his eyes shut for a second, trying to organize his chaotic thoughts as they bounced in his head. “Did I ever do something bad? Something that really hurt another person?”
David frowned. “Why would you ask me that?”
“I just have this very strong feeling I’ve done something terrible in the past. Something I think I’ve forgotten.”
His words prompted a more serious reaction from David, and a briefly pained look flashed across his features, too quick for Rayne to even be sure it happened. David looked at him with a slight sense of pity.
“I confess, there were times when I did not know you,” he said. “But the past is past. If I agonized over every bad experience in my life I’d have gone completely mental by now. You focus too much on being ‘proper,’ and it’s left you too tightly wound.”
“Yes, but I meant did I ever specifically—”
“Rayne. Stop stressing yourself. It’s crushing your soul. All you do these days is obsess over every little thing. How many late nights did you stay up fretting over that client? And when your boss pushed more work on you, did you even think of standing up to him?”
“It was important!”
“To you? Or to your firm?”
“It’s what you do to get ahead in life! A better future for me and my son!”
David shook his head. “The old you would laugh at how absurd you sound. Look, I’m telling you not to worry so much. You’ll only suffer more if you obsess over thoughts like that. Get your memories back, then you can start worrying about being a reasonable adult.”
“Fine, whatever.” Rayne’s voice was defeated, as David seemed more concerned with nitpicking his attitude, not understanding that more specific information could be vital. But then, if he had done something David knew about, he’d tell him, right?
“Do you remember anything?” David asked. “I mean, besides that pet of yours? Or that bully? Is he why you’re so worked up?”
“You think I did something to him? No. Every time I think about him, I get the strong feeling he did something to me. Something unforgivable.”
“Really? What?”
“That’s the problem; I can’t remember.” Rayne tried to shake the feelings away, just talking about this person stirred a raging anger inside him. “I know we’ve butted heads quite a lot. He was always trying to get the better of me. But we were too evenly matched, so there was never any winner. And that just made him try harder. I can’t even remember his face.”
“Well, keep trying. Once you remember a strong event like that, the rest of the pieces will fall into place.”
“I’m not sure if I want to remember. If he really did something so horrible—”
“But it’d bring you peace of mind. Understanding the past is better than pretending it never happened.” David stood up and put his plate in the dishwasher. “And I can’t stress this enough, you need to take better care of yourself. Eat more, get plenty of rest, and stop worrying yourself sick. I know you’re not the tannest person, but you’ve gotten so pale since you got back from the hospital, and I don’t think it’s from the lack of sun.” He paused and looked over at Rayne, whose eyes had gone circular. “Did I say something wrong? You have gotten very pallid lately. Maybe I should take you out for a little fresh air.”
“But—”
“Come on, we won’t go too far. Just that nice pond a few blocks down. We go out for a few hours, you get some sun, you’ll feel better, I promise.”
“Fine, get me a coat.”
Despite Rayne’s lacking enthusiasm, David tossed his coat at him, putting his own on afterwards. He brought a blanket for Rayne’s legs, and wheeled him out the door, stopping to lock it behind them. Their neighbor from downstairs, Mrs. Robins, a rotund old biddy with a hunched back, passed by in the hallway, waving to Rayne along the way. He gave a half smile and waved back.
“All right, I left a note for Levi if he gets home before we do. He should be all right with the neighbors around. Shall we?” David grabbed his wheelchair and pushed him to the elevator.
Because their destination was a short ways away, there was no need for the car. Once they got out on the street, Rayne dismissed David’s hands, preferring to move himself rather than be pushed like an invalid. It was a cold, crisp winter’s day, tinged by the faintest hints of spring. The sky was grey and cold, but the chill in the air had lessened with the edge of winter. No powder remained from the last snowfall, and nothing remained but dirty streets and brown earth.
They reached the pond and its surrounding landscapes, a place like a small park, somber, but pleasant. The trees were still barren of leaves, and dull yellow grasses with the faintest green dotted the ground. The sparse flowerbeds guarded bushes that looked ready to blossom soon, bringing life to an empty garden. People walked up and down along the cracked sidewalk, dressed in warm coats and hats, enjoying the view of the nearby pond, which reflected the distant buildings around them.
Rayne wheeled himself down the sidewalk along latticed metal fences that bordered the flower gardens, drawing close to the pond with David following behind. He took a deep breath as he rolled, enjoying the fresh air. It did feel good to be free from that cramped flat.
The pond was very still and serene. A short distance away, a small group of children, too young to be in school, threw playful rocks into its unbroken mirror, creating ripples that spread across the water’s surface. Rayne felt himself wishing the weather was rougher, so he could watch the pond dance with more waves. He felt himself reaching down past his chair and picking up a small pebble that lay on the ground, and before he could even think about what he was doing, it flew from his hand with hurled force, shattering through the top of the pond, sending the water around it scattering in a bouquet of droplets. He smiled the tiniest bit. David sat down beside him on a bench, and pulled out his cell phone to check for messages.
“Won’t be a moment,” he assured his friend, dialing back one of the numbers. Rayne didn’t really care if David was paying him any mind or not. He went back to watching the children play. They noticed him glancing their way and gathered together, giggling and pointing at him. An older woman, likely a mother of one of the children, grabbed a young boy by the arm and scolded him before pulling him away from the others.
“Young ones can be so unkind. It takes a good parent to know how to discipline them,” someone remarked over Rayne’s shoulder.
“Aye,” Rayne agreed. “I wonder if I was ever so cruel as a child.”
“You? I’m certain you were quite the little hell-
raiser when you were young.”
“Now see here,” Rayne turned in his chair, annoyed that some stranger would talk to him so casually. Then he froze, mouth agape.
Darrigan, smoky robes billowing around him despite the lack of wind, raised a thin, bladed hand in greeting. Nobody else acknowledged his presence, and walked right by him. David chatted on his phone, also oblivious to the supernatural entity.
“What are you doing here?” Rayne hissed.
Darrigan drew closer to him, not walking, but floating above the pavement, standing out against the grey skies and normalcy of a winter’s day in the park. The air around him pulsated with otherworldly electricity. He placed a clawed set of fingers onto the back of Rayne’s wheelchair and lowered his smirking face down to eye level.
“I was surprised when you vanished last night. Tell me, did you find the girl?”
“Yes, I found her,” Rayne kept his voice hushed, not certain how this conversation looked to passer-bys. “But why are you—”
“Here in this park? In your world?” Darrigan straightened up, looking over the pond. “I come here often. It’s my duty after all.”
“Right. Lost soul.”
“Oh, no. I just came looking for you.” The unsettling grin spread wider across his face. “It must be rough, not being able to walk.”
“I’ll adjust.”
Darrigan’s smile faded. “You were so much more talkative in the Abyss.”
Rayne turned his head so he no longer looked at him. “I don’t want people to think I’ve gone mental.”
“Is that all? You shouldn’t worry about that. None of these people even know you.”
“My friend is right over there.” Rayne jerked his head in David’s direction.
“Who, him? It’ll be fine,” Darrigan assured him. “Tell me, now, I want to know how you disappeared like that.”
Rayne glanced around. People continued to walk by, unknowing and uncaring of anything he did. David continued to talk on his phone, not even glancing their way.
“I just tried to picture her,” Rayne whispered. “And then I recreated that feeling I felt when you took me to find Gabriel. Just going numb, and finding myself somewhere new. I’m not really sure how I did it, it just happened.”
