by T. R. Briar
“Sorry, I thought you were—”
“You thought I was Tomordred.”
Rayne couldn’t make eye contact with him, and stared at the ground in shame.
“I knew it. That was definitely him dragging you through that portal. The question is, what could possible attract his attention so thoroughly that he’d reach between dimensions to grab you, hrm?”
“I may have gotten on his bad side.”
“A bad side is all he’s got. It’s usually not a problem if he’s not aware of you.” Even without making eye contact, Rayne felt the reaper’s gaze burning right through his soul. “I don’t know how you escaped, but once he’s fixated on you, he will never stop hunting you. You’re screwed, you know that.”
“I outran him.”
“Tomordred can’t be outrun.” Darrigan cocked an eye, noticing the burns all over Rayne’s body. “Oh, tell me you didn’t return to Azaznir’s domain.”
“It was an accident!”
“Did anything see you?”
“No,” Rayne lied. “Please, you’ve got to know some way I can evade Tomordred.”
“This is why I warned you never to go there! He’s a thousand times more powerful than I could ever hope to be! I can’t protect you from him!”
The ice faded from Darrigan’s hand, and he wiggled his fingers.
“I see you’ve learned to take advantage of that chill of yours,” he mused. “I’m impressed. But it won’t save you from Tomordred.”
“It did once. I caught him by surprise.”
“You mean you angered him further?”
“Yeah. That too.” Rayne sat down on an enormous femur that lay stretched beside a blood-filled pond, like a mossy log, but much more gruesome. “I guess I’m not going to last much longer. I can only escape him for so long; he won’t listen to reason. Everything I do just makes him more furious at me.”
“It’s a shame.” Darrigan sat down next to him. “I liked you. But I guess you have a terrible gift for attracting attention out here.”
“Is there anything I can do? Is there something that he’d fear? Some way to get me off of his radar?”
“He fears nothing. Why would he? Apart from his god, little else is more powerful than he is.”
“Is there nothing else?”
His reaper friend stood up from the log, pacing, an odd sight to see from such an imposing demonic specter.
“You cannot conquer him, or reason with him. Your only recourse is to evade his grasp for as long as you can. But he knows your soul; your aura can be sensed keenly by him.”
“My aura?”
“Every soul has its own unique energy, whether they be mortal, demon, or god. Think of it like a melody, with distinct rhythm and harmonies, easy to recognize if one knows how to listen. And he has become in tune enough with your broken little melody to track you.”
“Is there a way to bring it out of tune? Can I hide it? Change it?”
“Maybe if your soul was so badly damaged it left you a mindless shadow of your old self. Is that what you want?”
“Not really.”
“You may have a small chance. In his own realm, he is king. He is almost as intricately connected with it as his master, and should you so much as blink past it, he will know. But outside of that realm, he will be less aware. Should he seek you out, he will find you, but because time passes differently here, he will not know when you are here and when you are back in your body. He may not always be looking for you, and if you avoid drawing his attention, then you may evade him.”
“And how do I avoid drawing his attention?”
Darrigan raised his bony hand into the air, flakes of ice falling from it to the fleshy ground. “This power. Did you use it before he found you?”
“I used it when I went to save Miranda. I couldn’t walk on all those bugs, so I froze them.”
“This power comes from your soul; when you use it, he senses you more easily. That is how he knew you had returned, and that is why he sought you out.” He looked at his hand. “And you used it again. We shouldn’t stay here.”
He snatched Rayne’s hand up and pulled him from the marshland, back onto neutral ground. They stood there in the mud, alone together, though Rayne could sense the others not too far away.
“In the realms of other gods, his power is limited. You are actually less safe on neutral ground, but I prefer not to risk incurring the wrath of any more deities.” Still gripping Rayne’s hand he drew him towards him, forcing him to make eye contact with his glowing white oculars.
“From now on, you must not use that cold of yours unless you absolutely have to. Because he will know; he will seek you out!” He let go, causing Rayne to fall back into the mud. “But, should his tentacles find you, feel free to use it as much as you wish. It won’t help you, but it’s not like you’ll need to hide yourself by then.”
“I’ll try.”
He watched, solemn, as Rayne got back up on his feet. “You can’t evade him forever. Even a fool’s dream of more than a year would be lucky. You can’t escape this place, and he will never give up his pursuit until you are eaten, or until you are dead.”
“I know. But I’m not prepared to just throw myself into those jaws and let him take me. Not without a fight. We’ll just see how long I can run away.”
“Suit yourself.”
They walked a bit, towards where the others still waited.
“Rayne!” Apolleta exclaimed, running up to meet him. “What happened?! What was that thing?”
“I, well—”
“It seems Rayne has attracted some unwanted attention,” Darrigan spoke what Rayne couldn’t find the words to say. “It has nothing to do with any of you, but if I were you, I wouldn’t get too close to him. Unless, of course, you seek to join him as the quarry of a beast beyond measure.”
“What the hell did you do?” Apolleta gasped. “You’re covered in burns!”
“Yes, it’s rather bad,” Darrigan mused. “Those marks look an awful lot like chains.”
“Well they’re not,” Rayne retorted. “Coincidence.”
Darrigan didn’t look like he believed him.
Gabriel pushed Apolleta aside to glare at Rayne. “Wait a goddamn minute! Are you saying, by being here, he’s leading some monster to the rest of us?”
“Don’t worry,” Rayne said. “I’m the one in trouble. If he tries to grab me again, I’ll run, and he’ll come after me. None of you mean anything to him.”
“And what if he decides if he can’t catch you? He’ll come after the rest of us, that’s what he’ll do!” Gabriel spat, fear hiding in his voice.
“He doesn’t know you. You’ve never been to Nen’kai’s realm, so he won’t recognize you as anything more than a wandering soul. He only wants me because I’ve been there, and because I escaped from him.”
Darrigan glared. “How do you know that name?”
“Tomordred told it to me. Before he tried to eat me.”
“You got him to talk to you?”
“Only for a moment. Negotiations failed quickly.” Rayne felt Gabriel just staring at him during this exchange, but ignored him. “This was last night. I did not get nearly as far tonight.”
“But we’re safe?” That was all that seemed to concern Apolleta.
“If you ever end up in a world of water and ice, you’re as dead as I am. And that will be it.”
Apolleta began to shake, sitting on the ground and crying. “So many nightmares. I just want it to end. I can’t take much more of this!”
She screamed as Rayne tried to take her hand, a half-hearted attempt to reassure her. “Don’t you touch me! Don’t you make me a part of your hell! I want my life back! I want to go home!” She shoved him back into the mud. Dirty water splashed into the air as he fell, his limbs flailing to support himself.
“Wow, you sure showed him,” laughed Gabriel.
“You shut up!” she yelled. “I’ve had it with all of this. Every night we’ve been together you’ve bee
n nothing but a pain in the ass. Between all the bitching, and acting like you’re better than everyone, telling me what to do, it’s a wonder nothing’s eaten you yet to make you shut the hell up!”
“Why, you little bitch!” Gabriel raised a hand to strike her, but she reached out to block him. His hand moved down, and it passed through her arms as if they were air.
“Wha—” he gasped.
Apolleta stared at her arms, now transparent. Her legs faded too, the translucency spreading through her body.
“She’s waking up,” Rayne remarked, still half buried in the mud. “She’s finally waking up.”
Apolleta gasped, a smile of disbelief on her face. “I’m waking up? I’m free?”
“Not free,” Gabriel smirked. “You’ll be back.”
She scowled at him, fading until her hand remained the last visible part of her, giving Gabriel the finger.
“Why, that—”
“Oh, come off it. If you hadn’t been such a twat, she wouldn’t have been so angry in the first place.” Rayne interjected.
“And you think you’re so innocent? That bleeding heart act isn’t fooling anybody. You really care what happens to any of us? You come and go whenever you want, and you leave some horned atrocity to stand guard.”
“That’s not true! I brought everyone together because there’s safety in numbers! I learned to move through this realm so I can find them!”
“And who put you in charge of that? You think just because you figured out how to get around, that makes you the leader? You’re not special at all! You’re just a coward who lords his tiny bit of power over the rest of us!”
“So what? I can move and you can’t! It’s not that hard! If you knew how to shift through the Abyss, I wouldn’t stop you. Hell, I’d be glad to have you out of my hair!”
Gabriel clasped Rayne’s arm, pulling him up to his feet with surprising strength. He leered, forcing Rayne to stare at his yellowed eyes decaying in their sockets.
“Then teach me,” he hissed. “Show me how to do what you do, and I won’t have anything more to complain about!”
“I like this idea,” laughed Darrigan. “If you teach him, he’ll probably wind up in the same trouble as you.”
“I won’t be stupid like Mercer. I won’t go to any place that has water.”
Rayne forced Gabriel’s hand off his arm. He felt loathe to teach this man anything after his behavior, but he figured now it didn’t really matter. He had little time left. What would teaching Gabriel do, get him killed faster?
“All right,” he said. “I’ll try to explain it the way it was explained to me.”
“Explained to you? Who—” Rayne held out a hand, telling Darrigan to be silent.
“You said the one time you shifted worlds on your own was when you found me right? I think that’s because you were pulled to me. You sensed me and it helped you draw yourself to me.”
“That’s right. I heard you yelling like a psycho.”
“When you sense other people, you can draw yourself towards them. But it’s not just limited to other people.”
Gabriel listened as Rayne explained everything just as Kaledris had told him.
“But, how will I know where I’m going? If I’m just seeking out myself.”
“You won’t, not at first. I think it may base itself on thoughts, feelings. The subconscious part of your brain directing you on impulse. At least that’s how it was for me. That’s how I ended up in Tomordred’s realm. Bad move on my part. If you imagine the other places, the ones Darrigan described, or just the neutral zone, you’ll end up there.”
“None of this makes any damn sense. Which makes perfect sense.”
“You do this at your own risk. I hold no responsibility if you get captured and eaten.”
Rayne sensed himself fading. “Bollocks,” he muttered. He didn’t see Miranda, and wondered if she’d awakened too. Gabriel would be waking up soon as well.
“It’s fine, I think I got what you’re saying,” Gabriel said. “I’ll try it, and see where I wind up.”
“Just remember your promise. No more complaining.”
“Now hey, I never actually promised—” he backed down at Rayne’s smoldering glower. “Fine, fine, I getcha. You won’t hear a peep out of me.”
Rayne sighed as the world slipped away from him, his body pulling at him with a mad intensity. He did not like the unsettling smirk he saw on Gabriel’s face as he disappeared. It was the look of a child who had just been given his father’s gun.
* * *
In the weeks that followed, Rayne began to attend physical therapy. It was difficult work, not just strengthening his arm, but the testing and stimulation given to his legs, to keep their strength up and avoid further health complications. His impatient trainer berated him if he so much as hinted at giving up, even if it was just to take a moment’s break from the grueling exercise. The difficulty discouraged him. He wasn’t meant to walk again, and the unwanted attention given to his legs drove that point home. He was starting to get tired of the stares when he passed people on the street in his wheelchair, and found it easier to send David out and about to do his errands.
He returned to the Abyss at night, where his legs actually worked. He tried to spend time with the others, but he had to avoid the growing darkness of Tomordred’s attention now. The demon didn’t always find him, not every night. But some nights, more often than not, the portal appeared before him, seeking to snatch him up and take him away. Rayne always outmaneuvered it, pulling himself to other worlds before it found him, keeping himself safe, at least for a few more hours. Sometimes he barely made it.
He had seen less and less of Gabriel. He did not grasp moving as quickly as Rayne had, but after several nights of attempting it, he had managed to fling himself to another part of the neutral zone. His relentless determination made Rayne suspect he despised him for being able to do it first. One night, Gabriel wasn’t there, and Rayne could sense his soul elsewhere, only to find he had moved. After that, he stopped trying to find him, not caring if the other man did as he pleased now, for his fate was his own business.
At night he saw Miranda many times, whenever he wasn’t trying to evade Tomordred. He kept trying to reassure her, attempting even to teach her what he taught Gabriel, but she seemed less receptive, and while he sensed she was listening, she didn’t seem to care enough to follow his instructions. During the day, he’d tried to seek her out, to talk to her, but she evaded him. He wondered if he was being too persistent. In the Abyss her helplessness prevailed, giving her no real say when he sought her out. If she was avoiding him in the waking world, perhaps he’d done something wrong?
He had not seen Apolleta either, after her initial awakening. Being in another part of the world, likely bed-ridden, recovering from her injury, she seemed to keep different hours from him. For a time he did begin to hope that maybe she’d found a way to escape the predicament they all shared.
As for Darrigan, the reaper had not appeared before him since that night. Rayne wondered if he was avoiding Tomordred’s wrath, or if perhaps the demon had grown fond of him, and now kept his distance, knowing how little time he had left.
One morning Rayne woke up in his bed, and felt a warmth pressed against him. He looked down to find Levi snuggled under the covers, sleeping peacefully in his light green pajamas.
“Had another nightmare, did you?” Rayne murmured. He shook his son awake.
The boy blinked his eyes, and turned up to Rayne. “Hi Daddy,” he yawned.
“Aren’t you a little rascal? Didn’t even wake me up,” Rayne replied.
“I didn’t want you to get mad.” Levi curled up, eyes timid.
“I’m not mad. But you know, you’re getting to be a big boy. You can’t keep sleeping in my bed every time you have a bad dream.”
“I know.”
Rayne reached out and tickled the boy’s ribs, making him squish up giggling. “Come on, you should get ready for breakfast. David
will be taking you to school soon.”
Levi didn’t object, and tottered off to wash up and change out of his pajamas. Rayne decided he might as well get up, and once he was dressed, he wheeled himself into the kitchen. His arm was much better now, as long as he didn’t try to lift too much weight with it. It made his life much easier, as he could now operate his chair without trouble, and the constant wheeling helped build upper body strength.
“Oh, there you are,” David said. “I noticed Levi wasn’t in his bed this morning. It’s been what, three months since the last time?”
“Give or take. I wish he wouldn’t have so many awful nightmares.”
“I’ve tried to talk to him, but it may not be so simple. Maybe we should consider counseling.”
“I do not want to deal with that right now.”
David laid out plates for the morning meal. “So, have any plans today?”
“Yeah, I was hoping you might give me a ride. I need to stop by the office.”
“Really? Are you sure you’re ready to go back to work?”
“Not yet, but I want to pick up some papers so I can catch up. Can you give me a lift?”
“What time?”
“Doesn’t matter really, as long as I get it today. This afternoon would be fine.”
“How does four o’clock sound? I’m not on call until later tonight, and it’ll give me time to fetch Levi from school and bring him home.”
“Four? That’s—yes, that’ll do fine.” Rayne didn’t want to protest, but he didn’t know what to do all day while waiting to get his papers. He rolled over to the tea kettle his friend had left on the stove.
Levi came out fully dressed for the day, and they all ate breakfast together, before David took the boy to school and left Rayne alone in the house. He poured himself another cup of tea and sipped it down. It was far too uncomfortable inside the flat that morning. Spring had brought warmer weather, and the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window bothered him. He pulled the window open to let colder air in. As he did, he noticed David had left the gas stove on, and watched the flickering blue flame beneath. It made him uneasy, reminding him of that fiery hell where he’d experienced so much pain. He didn’t need that right now, and nudged the dial to shut the burner off. The lingering sensation of heat remained for a while, but he felt relieved to see the flame vanish.
