by Glen Cook
"Or he can start thinking like a cow because he doesn't eat anything but cattle fodder." I laid a pointed stare on the corpse of my eggplant filet. It had failed to live up to even my low expectations.
Morley grinned. "We're breaking in a new cook."
"On me?"
"Who better? Right, Puddle? No way we can disappoint Garrett. He was disappointed when he walked in the door. He'll bitch and gripe whatever we serve him."
I grumped, "You could poison me."
"If it would improve your disposition."
"There's an idea!" Puddle enthused. "Hows come I never thought a' that one?"
"Because you've never had a thought. If one got loose in that abandoned tenement of a head, it'd never find its way out," I muttered, but Puddle caught on anyhow.
"Yo! Sarge! We got any of dat rat poison left? Tell Wiggins to bring dis guy Garrett a special chef's surprise dessert."
I made noises to let them know what I thought of this level of humor and told Morley, "I need the benefit of your wisdom."
"You going to cry on my shoulder about one of your bimbos?"
"There's a thought. I never tried that. Maybe by way of a little sympathetic magic... "
"Don't expect sympathy from me."
"What I want to do is listen to you, not have you listen to me."
"This has to do with your Maggie Jenn thing?"
"Yes. The name Grange Cleaver mean anything?"
Morley glanced at Puddle. A shadow crossed his features. Puddle exchanged glances with Sarge. Then everybody faked indifference. Morley asked, "You saying the Rainmaker is back?"
"Rainmaker?"
"The only Grange Cleaver I know was called the Rainmaker. He was a fence. Big time. Where did you come onto the name?"
"Winger. She said she was working for him."
"That woman isn't your most reliable witness."
"You're telling me. But she did have an interesting story about how this guy was using her to keep tabs on Maggie Jenn. She said she thought Cleaver was Maggie's brother. Or some sort of close relation."
Again Morley tossed a glance at Puddle, then looked thoughtful. "I've never heard that one." He chuckled. There was no humor in the sound. "It can't be true, but it would explain a lot if it was. Maybe even including why she is back in town."
"You changing your position?"
"Huh?"
"You said she was in exile. What're you going on about, anyway?"
"All right. Grange Cleaver, alias the Rainmaker, was a very famous fence years ago."
"How can you be a famous fence? Seems to me you could be one or the other but not both."
"Famous among those who use the services of fences, wholesale or retail, supplier or end user. The Rainmaker operated on the swank. There were rumors he choreographed several big jobs himself, that he had a connection who got him the inside information he needed. He hit several Hill places. There weren't many guards back then. His raids were one reason the Hill folk set up their goon squads."
"This all connects with Maggie Jenn?"
"Maybe. It just occurred to me that the Rainmaker's heyday coincided with Maggie Jenn's famous affair. Specifically, with those months when Theodoric was dragging her around in public, not giving one good goddamn what anyone said."
"You have to admit nobody would've figured her for a spotter."
"Exactly. Her social crimes were reason enough to hate her."
"All of which is interesting but, as far as I can see, doesn't have anything to do with the job I'm getting paid to do." Though I might be wrong. Cleaver hadn't drafted me into the crackdome brigade because my colors clashed when I dressed. I was a threat somehow. "You still say Maggie Jenn doesn't have a daughter?"
"I said I didn't know about one. I still don't. But now I have a notion there's a lot I don't know about Maggie Jenn."
"Heard anything off the street?"
"Too soon, Garrett. It's a big town. And if the Rainmaker is in it, people who remember him might not talk."
"Yeah." A big town. And somewhere in it, a missing girl.
Somewhere in TunFaire there are scores of missing girls. More vanish every day. This just happened to be a girl who had someone willing to look for her.
I started toward the street.
"Garrett."
I stopped. I knew that tone. The real Morley was about to speak from behind all the masks. "What?"
"You be careful about the Rainmaker. He's as crazy as they come. Dangerous crazy."
I leaned against the door frame and did some ruminating. "I've got some real funny people in this one, Morley."
"How so?"
"They all have two faces. The Maggie Jenn I know and the one Winger told me about aren't much like the woman you describe. The Grange Cleaver Winger worked for and the one you describe aren't anything like the Grange Cleaver I heard about from another source. That Cleaver is one of the directors of the Bledsoe. He's connected with the imperial family."
"That's another new one on me. But so what?"
Yeah. So what? It occurred to me that Chastity's troubles with theft and corruption might stem from the very top.
For some reason, I just can't get used to the thinking it takes to encompass that kind of villainy. It doesn't seem reasonable to steal from the poor and the helpless, though I'm sure Morley could paste on his puzzled frown and make it all clear: you steal from the poor and helpless because they can't fight back. Because nobody gives a damn. But you do have to do one hell of a lot of stealing in order to make much money.
That's why most thieves prefer wealthier victims.
23
I decided my best course was to go home and settle in with a beer or five while I figured out how to do my job. Grange Cleaver was a side issue. Maybe I'd put time in on him after I found the missing daughter. I owed the clown. But Emerald came first.
Speaking of debts, by now his people inside the Bledsoe should have reported my brilliant, dashing escape. It might behoove me to keep a close watch on my behind.
You work yourself into the right frame of mind, it's sure something will happen. I was all primed to turn paranoid. Naturally, fate just had to set me off.
"How are you doing? I'm Ivy."
I squeaked and jumped up there where the pigeons fly. I could have clicked my heels and turned a somersault on the way down but was too busy making funny noises. I landed. And there, by the gods, was my old prison pal Ivy.
And not just Ivy. Behind Ivy, grinning merrily, was that big bozo who'd helped me with my breakout.
"You guys made it, eh? That's great." I tried easing around them. That didn't work. "How many others managed? Any idea?" I was just being sociable. You do that with unpredictable and potentially dangerous people. Hell, you should do that with anybody you don't know. You should be rude only to friends you're sure won't slice you into cold cuts. That's what manners are for.
The grinning fool grinned even wider. "Most everybody scooted, Garrett. The whole ward, I think."
"How did that happen?" I'd thought the staff were gaining control when I ran out.
"Some of us guys that had uniforms on decided to go get some paybacks after we got the smoke out of our lungs. And then a bunch of the guys still inside went berserk."
"Lucky for us they weren't crazy before." But they were crazy now and on the loose. I tried easing away again. The big guy had a knack for staying in my way.
I hadn't overlooked the fact that he knew my name even though I hadn't introduced myself. "How did you guys come to be here?" Here being Macunado Street less than two blocks from my house. A coincidence that monstrous could occur only every third leap year. It wasn't leap year.
The big guy got red. He confessed, "We was sneaking around trying to find a way out and we heard you talking to Doc Chaz. So we're on the street all this time, we don't know where to go or what to do. I ast Ivy and he don't got no suggestions."
Ivy's face brightened at the mention. He introduced himself, in case he'd forgotten
his manners, then went back to studying the street. He seemed more perplexed than frightened, but I didn't think it would be long till he was ready to go back inside. I suspected that would be true for a lot of men.
"So you came looking for me."
The big guy nodded like a shy kid. "Seemed like you was a guy would know what to do."
I cussed myself silently for being the kind of fool I am. "All right. I got you into this, I'm kind of responsible. Come on. I'll get you fed, put you up tonight, maybe help you make arrangements."
Yeah. I know. Chances were good they would smell like long-dead fish before I got them out. But I did have a card up my sleeve. The Dead Man isn't handicapped by manners or an overdeveloped sense of social obligation. Guests don't overstay his welcome.
I wondered if it wasn't maybe time to start nudging him. I could use a little advice.
I let my guests into my house. The big guy was as nervous as a kid in unfamiliar territory. Ivy was as curious as a cat. Naturally, the Goddamn Parrot started raising hell in the small front room. Ivy invited himself in there while I tried to solve a problem by asking the big guy, "Do you have a name? I don't know what to call you."
Mr. Big cussed Ivy for not bringing him food.
I was beginning to miss Dean for yet another reason. He had dealt with that foul feathered fiend before he left. I still wasn't used to it.
It went into its act. "Help! Rape! Save me! Oh, please, mister, don't make me do that again." It managed to sound like a preadolescent girl. The only parrot in captivity smart enough to remember more than four words, and some wit had taught it that. I just knew if the neighbors ever heard the beast I'd never convince the lynch mob that a parrot had done the squawking. The bird would not say boo till I was swinging high.
Meantime, the big fellow stood around wearing a thoughtful look, trying to remember his name. His wits seemed to turn through seasons. Must have been summertime when he helped me at the Bledsoe. Now it was late autumn or early winter. I was glad I didn't have to deal with him all the time. I could go crazy myself.
Powziffle.
Ivy closed the door to the small front room. The Goddamn Parrot went right on screeching. Ivy grinned from ear to ear. I had a feeling I knew what was going to become of that bird. He could become the companion of a tortured fellow who needed a friend desperately.
The tortured fellow roamed on down the hall while his sidekick continued to ruminate the big question.
"Hey! Yeah!" His face brightened. "Slither." Brighter still. "Yeah! That's it. Slither." His grin dwarfed Ivy's.
"Slither?" What the hell kind of name was that? A nickname for sure, though he didn't look like a Slither to me.
Ivy had his face shoved into my office. He froze. Eventually he let out a little squeak of dismay, the first break in his six-word pattern. From the direction he was facing, I guessed he'd gotten a look at Eleanor. That painting had plenty to say to anyone with the open eyes of madness.
Slither preened, proud that he had recalled his name.
I said, "You guys come back to the kitchen. We'll have us a beer and a snack." I suspected that they hadn't eaten since their flight from the hospital. Freedom does have its disadvantages.
Slither nodded and flashed his grin. Ivy ignored me. He crossed the hall to the Dead Man's room, went inside, and got himself a shock even more horrible than the terror in the shadows behind Eleanor. The Dead Man isn't furry, little, or cuddly. He can't win instant love through cute.
I pried Ivy out of there and got him into the kitchen. We settled down to a snack of cold roast beef, pickles, cheese, mustard with verve enough to water your eyes, and adequate quantities of beer. I did more sipping than eating. Once Slither and Ivy slowed enough so they took time to breathe as well as eat, I asked, "You guys able to do anything?"
"Huh?" That was Slither. Ivy was sucking up another mug of beer, his fifth. He'd begun to look brighter, more human. I'd begun to suspect the nature of his madness. He was a wino.
"What did you do before they put you in that place?"
Slither started another five-fall match with his memory.
I wondered how well he'd done before his venture inside.
Ivy drained his mug and headed for the cold well. I caught his wrist. It didn't take much to set him down. "Don't let's overdo, Ivy."
He stared at his plate a minute, then lifted a sliver of meat to his lips. He chewed slowly for a long time. After he swallowed he startled me by saying, "You can't forget to eat, Garrett. That's the thing you've got to hang onto. You can't forget to eat."
I stared at him. Slither stared at him. Slither howled, "I'll be damned! I'll be double dog damned, Garrett! He talked. What did we do? I never heard him talk before."
The event seemed to give Slither's intellect a kick in the slats, too. He started chattering at Ivy, trying to draw him out. Ivy didn't want to be drawn. He stared at his plate and picked at his food. He looked up only once, to toss a longing glance toward the cold well. The object of his affection, my keg, lay there all alone.
"Well?"
Slither looked at me. "Huh?"
"I asked what you did on the outside, before you went in."
"How come you want to know?" The fires of genius never burned real hot here.
I had to move before he faded again. "I want to know because if I know what you can do maybe I can find somebody who'll pay you to do it." There is no shortage of work in TunFaire, honest or otherwise, what with all our young men spending five years in the Cantard and a lot of them never coming home.
"Mostly I done bodyguarding. I was pretty good when I started, but I figure I picked up something when I was down south. I started kind of fading out sometimes. I started making mistakes sometimes. I screwed up on a real good job I got on account of my size mostly, so I took another one that wasn't quite as good and I screwed up on that one, too, so I took another job and all the time the fading got worse and worse. I started not remembering anything sometimes. Nothing. Except I kept getting the feeling that I was doing things that weren't right. Maybe really wicked things, only whatever I was doing I wasn't getting caught by nobody because I always woke up at home. Sometimes I had bruises and stuff, though. And then I was right in the right place at the right time and landed me a real sweet job. I don't know what happened or how. One day I wake up, I'm there where you found me and I don't know how long I been there or what I done to get myself put inside."
I'd seen him during one blackout. Powziffle. Maybe that one had been mild and harmless. Maybe he went berserk sometimes.
But then he'd have been in the violent ward. Wouldn't he?
"What did you do in the army?" I asked.
"Nothing, man. I wasn't no friggin' ground-pounder."
I knew that tone and that look and that fire in the eye. "You were a Marine?"
"Absofugginiutely. First Battalion. Fleet Marines."
I was impressed. That meant something to a Marine. Slither had been one of the elite of the elite. So how come ten years later he set up housekeeping in the charity bughouse? The man had to be tougher than rawhide.
On the other hand, how many tough guys fall apart with a nudge in the right way at the right time?
Slither asked, "What about you?"
"Force recon."
"Hey! All right!" He reached out to slap my hand, a silly habit left over from the Corps.
They told us when we went in we'd never stop being Marines.
"If you can keep your head together, I could maybe use you on the job I'm doing."
He frowned. "What kind of work you do? Besides bust places up like you was trying to turn the whole world into a barroom brawl?"
I explained. I explained again. He didn't get it till I told him, "It's kind of like being a mercenary—only I just find things or figure things out for people who can't handle their problems themselves."
He still frowned but got the basic idea. His trouble was that he couldn't grasp why I'd galavant around like I was some kind of white
knight.
So I put that into terms he could understand. "Most of my clients are loaded. When things go my way, I can soak them for a bundle."
Even Ivy brightened at that. But he kept looking at my cold well like it was the gate to heaven.
I got up, dug out a bottle of wine that had been around since the dawn of time, plopped it down in front of Ivy. I drew more beer for Slither and me. I settled. Ivy went to work on his bottle. After he finished a long pull, I asked, "How about you, Ivy? What did you do in the war?"
He tried. He really did. But his tongue got tangled. Gibberish came out. I suggested he take another long drink and relax. He did. That worked. Sort of.
"So?" I urged, gently, in the back of my mind beginning to hear guilt nag because I was getting soaked with a pair of fruitcakes when I ought to be hunting a missing daughter. "What did you do down there?"
"La-la-long ra-range re-re-recon. Ra-ranger stuff."
"Excellent!" Slither murmured. Civilians wouldn't understand.
I nodded encouragement and tried to cover my surprise. Ivy didn't look the type. But a lot of guys don't. And it's often guys who make the elite outfits who're good enough to survive. They know how to take care of themselves.
"Pretty grim?" I asked.
Ivy nodded. Any other answer would have been a lie. The fighting had been tough, vicious, endless, and unavoidable. Mercy had been an unknown. The war seems won now, years after our hours in the ranks, but fighting continues on a reduced scale as Karenta's soldiers pursue diehard Venageti and try to stifle the guttering republic created by Glory Mooncalled.
"Dumb question," Slither observed.
"I know. But once in a while, I run into somebody who insists he liked it down there."
"He was rear echelon, then. Or a liar. Or crazy. The ones that can't live no other way just stay in."
"You're mostly right."
In a thin voice, Ivy said, "Th-there's sp-space for them na-now we ga-got out."
I agreed with him, too.
"Tell us more about what you do," Slither said. "What you working on now that got somebody so pissed they shoved you into the Bledsoe?"
"I'm not sure anymore." I saw no reason not to so I shared most of the details. Till I mentioned Grange Cleaver.
