by Gary Hawkes
PART II
The Call
Running out of time to find the deeper meaning
For why I’m here season after season
Still hopelessly adrift
With the old family there is still a rift
Causing unnecessary tension I can hardly think with
Waiting for the call
To be invited to the chosen’s ball
Blemishes and all
Elevate this phase of the journey before the fall
Speaking in tongues during times of stress
Forcing me to digress
Into a state where I always have to guess
No certainty, everything out of balance
Desperate now just to be given a chance
Waiting for the call
To be invited to the chosen’s ball
Blemishes and all
Elevate this phase of the journey before the fall
Rise Above
It’s a long way down to the bottom
Many times I’ve reached it, feeling lost and forgotten
But this life is a test
Of how you handle the worst mess
I used to give in, feeling like a roach infested pest
But now new purpose, after gaining new incite
Changing the course of the politico greed quest
Balancing at the point where competition and love intersect
Rise above the pain
This isn’t about fame
No more worries of who to blame
Soon the pressure will pit us against each other
Resistance is not futile, we will rise together, sister and brother
Fighting the impending doom that will come too soon
Searching
Is there any chance it will work out again?
For the sake of the boys, seems like should try and win
Repair the broken ties that shouldn’t have been
It may have gone on too long
Separated from home
Not knowing where to roam
In this age of confusion
Where there’s no way to get a loan
Searching for my place in this world
Life doesn’t stop, the world continues to turn
Unsettling visions deplete the focus and energy
Troubling revelations question the natures of my being
Goals change and rearrange to fit into the good feeling
Searching for my place in this world
Life doesn’t stop, the world continues to turn
Rise
Quite the predicament I’ve gotten myself into
Still barely squeaking by, but hoping I’ll eventually break through
Long windy road to get to the other side
Many stumbles along the way but still trying to enjoy the ride
Rise above the fear that consumes
More to life than simple truths
Don’t need to always follow the rules
Dreaming of big things, of living the big life
It’s not enough to just try
Need a new partner to be my ally
Without one, makes it a lonely night
Rise above the fear that consumes
More to life than simple truths
Don’t need to always follow the rules
The Lady’s Gone
Frozen in time, longing for the chance to go home
Is it still there, the answer looks like no
The lost love looks to continue on as is
What was the conclusion or even a thesis?
To sum up the reason it all went to pieces
The lady’s gone tonight
Losing the purpose of this life
Struggling to find which way is right
Bending to the will to feel whole again
The chance to again be a part of something
Cold reality tightens its grip
Last chance to make a meaningful trip
The energy darkens and starts to dip
The woman’s gone and the spirit has been spent
The lady’s gone tonight
Losing the purpose of this life
Struggling to find which way is right
Farther
The reunion committee begins planning for the next meeting
Change is in order to process better feelings
It may still be over, before the 2nd half’s even started
Long lost love looks scarred and departed
Linked forever
Don’t need to stay together
Go on without her
Unless together you’ll both go farther
Can’t start fresh, without still making a mess
Lack of communication became a nagging pest
Once proud difference began to tear apart
Leaving behind the old cliché of a broken heart
Linked forever
Don’t need to stay together
Go on without her
Unless together you’ll both go farther
Rebirth
Retaliation brews inside the belly
Unforgiven for all of eternity
Blast through the age of uncertainty
Foretold is the conclusion of the self-righteous few
Of what is the right way and which path to choose
Tense moment that fades quickly
Leaving the scene feeling sickly
Separate from dark associations that wallow in the muck
Living care free lives relying too much on luck
Separate from past affiliations
Renewed existence but brief isolation
Rebirth in the new world
Open to all who embrace without hesitation
Old times become distant memories
Lost friendships and false starts cause inner injuries
Putting the thoughts behind
No more rewind
Stand tall without the constricting bind
Down and Out
What the hell, still don’t got a job
Debt continues to rise
Soon I’ll be out on the lawn
Pick up the app at the pizza place
Deliver some pizza just to save face
I’m down and out
No money to count
All alone, affirming the self-doubt
Forget what I went to college for
Now I’m just broke and living poor
No helping hands in sight
Long and lonesome is the night
How do I make things right?
I’m down and out
No money to count
All alone, affirming the self-doubt
Useless knowledge and thoughts of the world
Stuck in limbo, always feeling bored
Work somewhere, anywhere to get some dough
Money is what matters in the world we know
Search later for the inner glow
I’m down and out
No money to count
All alone, affirming the self-doubt
Return
Another book hastily completed
The life that’s been cheated
Airing out everything, feeling depleted
Anxious time continues for too long
Writing another heartbreak song
Would be great to have some one
Waiting for her return
I won’t ever learn
Fading thoughts twinkle in the dark sky
How fast the time does fly
What does happen after our time?
Let’s get together and give a second try
I can no longer live a lie
Waiting for her return
I won’t ever learn
Decision
It’s an early morning in the heart of nowhere
Thinking about how long it’s gone on
How much longer, I can hardly bare
Open up to the persecution
Let them
scold with quick separation
Be who you are, but realize they don’t like who you are
Hide your true identity to keep from scaring them
Hurry up and fall in line before there’s no life left
You’re not special; others like you have been easily cast aside
Running out of time to make a stand before it’s time to die
The decision’s been made; you’re not on our side
March to the End
How long will it take to feel good again?
To feel whole again
Is getting back together the only way?
Long to get back to the old ways
Freelance isolation led to sickening dark days
Prolong the feeling of a life that weakened
To the conforming pressure of a world longing for the end
Continue the senseless march to the end
Change nothing that impedes our fun
Enjoy this brief moment in the sun, before it’s all done
Reaching out to make some kind of amends
Rebuilding still depends
Things out of my control, my brain fights to defend
Self-assurance flails in mistrust
Family rises out of the dust
Continue the senseless march to the end
Change nothing that impedes our fun
Enjoy this brief moment in the sun, before it’s all done
Wrong
How do others handle the world?
What does it feel like to be self-assured?
Confident ambivalence or aching melancholy
Last in line for the race of the century
The last gasp of light before it all fades away
Are we really here to stay?
Feel even more pointless the further this goes down
Forget now what started it all and where it went wrong
So the search for truth continues before it all comes unglued
Survival in this unusual place becomes more difficult by the hour
Dreams cut down, like a dying flower
Hard to say how much longer it will go on
My life continues despite that it is clearly wrong
Bastard
Bastard son of the marine man
An anxious bystander with no plans
Fortunate are those willing to wait and stand
Given the permission to continue to live
No thoughts on what else there is to give
It may take forever, I can hear them exclaim
To ever find a way off this range
A never ending sea all the way around
Doesn’t matter which way you go
It’s all the same in the end
Fight through tidal waves of oppression
That continues to wash upon the sand
This indecent life in the forgotten wasteland
The loner drifter slides behind relevance
Lost in direction, and pointless realization
Moving forward slowly with awkward persistence
What will he become?
He’ll never tell anyone
Hey Ma, Hey Pa
Hey Ma, Hey Pa, what will it take to make you proud?
To make you understand the things that I’m about
No need to put me down, most people don’t understand me
You never signed up to pay this fee
It’s okay to not understand me
It don’t make me crazy, or maybe it does
But all the best people never worried of that clause
Willing to fail and fall flat on my face
No need though to kick me in the face
I have my own way of making sense of time and space
Never understood what I’m doing here
Or why I’ve always had the fear
It is who I am though, so there’s no need to leer
It’s okay to be different, no need to repent
Others have similar thoughts like me,
With good lives they’ve kept
Help me out and accept who I am
Someday we’ll meet again in the promise land
Route
The directions are always too vague and jumbled to make any sense
Waging the ongoing debate with father for a easing of the penance
The duties I have don’t match the abilities I have
Leading by example has always been my way
Don’t know about leading the modern man these days
Visions of a doomed future, but we already knew that
Most don’t care or have already given in to our doomed fate
I just want to live and not make too much of a mess
Still unsure of which route is best
Still stuck in a prolonged hiatus
Banned from opportunities to board the righteous bus
Eventually something’s gotta give
Everyone has but one life to live
Reveal
The world doesn’t want to change
They will fight to the death to keep things the same
Those left out can only complain
Make sure you fit into the pre-designated spots
Otherwise you may end up just sleeping on a cot
Not much room for the unique and different
Too much money has been spent
To keep things the way they’ve always been
Born to the wrong group and you’ll be on the outside looking in
Bust you butt to squeak by
Knowing others have nothing to do; and will still be able to fly
The imbalance breeds a contemptuous force
Which will soon reveal it self
The raging beast, running on all fours
Cages too long, justice gone wrong
Lock your doors
The end of times can be avoided
But there is still a great deal that needs to be sorted
Mountain
The worry doubt and accusations still continue unabated
This tormented soul’s been desecrated
Longing for any way to get out of this mess
Same me, same others, it’s an ongoing test
Still thankful for this crazy life
Despite irrational thought by the ones who were once by my side
High on the mountain
Drinking from the fountain
Uncertain future, too much knowledge left to gain
Learned from the past, free from it at last
Flee the sinking ship
Even with the broken hip, no room for another slip
The anchor pulls down with all its might
This is the time to fight the good fight
Before the dark shadows show their true might
High on the mountain
Drinking from the fountain
Uncertain future, too much knowledge left to gain
Script
Just go, who cares where it end up?
Spilling out the dogma with a hastily written script
An unfortunate time to be burden with the wave
Feeling the energy from a different time a place
An uneasy feeling that never reveals its true face
Still unsure of whose side is who
The outcome doesn’t seem to be mine to choose
An original cadence that is borrowed from others
An infliction blood will not bother
Keep the head down; they say
Follow our way, it is the only way
All others ways are evil and should be punished, right away
How did the message get warped into this?
What was the purpose of the clear signs that came before this?
The allure of the dark is an enticing blend of self-righteousness
And getting everything you ever wanted, easily forgetting the souls of the departed
Struggling is not the way they say
Instant gratifica
tion is the common place
Rewards for nothing
Evil transforms and consumes, infiltrating everything
Out of control and out of balance
Who know if we’ll ever get another chance?
Streets of ‘Frisco
Sleeping on the streets of San Francisco
Trying to figure out which way to go
Learning about the way of this crazy world
What the hell? Was that a boy or a girl?
Camping outside the homeless shelter
Making friends with a meth head, and the blind man beside her
Smoking a J in front of the masturbating man
Damn, dude, take it inside man
Watching the crazed girl get into a fit
Begging for more from her knees, (maybe this isn’t my scene)
I’m weird, but not that weird
Smoke a J and drink some beer
Yell in the night, beckoning the fright
Find some lady who’s really tight
And then get the hell outta here!
Strange place, the land of everyone and anything
Conformity was too harsh a sting
You can have whatever you want,
Line up early though if you want a cot
Tourists speed by the freaks and tweekers
Lost souls and failed dreamers
Goalless seekers and underachievers
I joined the freak movement, a devoted believer
Great place to be weird and freaky
Enjoy the nightlife with other lost souls
But keep mind keen and agile, some freaks get a little frisky
I’m weird, but not that weird
Smoke a J and drink some beer
Yell in the night, beckoning the fright
Find some lady who’s really tight
And then get the hell outta here!
White Horse
I can feel an ending to this chapter coming soon
How soon, it’s too hard to tell
Making it seems as likely as a granted wish from the well
Smug looks from know it alls and deviants
Arrogant attitudes that can only leave a stench
How they stay there is anyone’s guess
Why they deserve it is anyone guess
I guess I must have failed that test
Excitement grows with the chance to move on
When will it come? The white horse gets close, saddle on
Take hold the noble beast
Ride away to the great feast
Leave behind the place of misery and cheats
The sunset beckons in glorious wonder
Those left behind can only ponder
My Life
Early morning awake
Cold dawn, holding an empty cup
Staring off into the distance
Still trying to make sense
The will to survive continues to go
Aimless direction though blocks the flow
The stream of thought never stops
The chance to leave behind and restart
But no car, will have to just walk
The pressure builds to find a designated spot
Fit into a category that will get you what you want
Too many options, too many interests
Too many rules that go against instincts
Let me live my life
The way I’ve been is all right
It’s fine if you don’t like it, don’t need to be uptight
Obstacles thrown in the way, blocking the road
Is that the one that leads to a pot of gold?
Don’t even need that, just some purpose; the soul will not be sold
Aligning with the good side, to hopefully get the express ride
To the end of this era, now is the time
Let me live my life
The way I’ve been is all right
It’s fine if you don’t like it, don’t need to be uptight
Lactic Acid
The lactic acid burns with every step
Surge through the pain climbing off of the cliff
The pace lags as the race gets into the later miles
Memories flow through my mind
Passed by one, then another
Speed up, to keep up with my racing brother
No more shall pass
Fight to stay close to the pack; how long will this last?
Lost track of the miles, body’s numb, brain starts to feel dumb
Falling behind the pack
Don’t look back, surge again to get close for another attack
Quick feet, breath is running out
One last stretch of the race to see what you’re really about
The final stretch looms ahead in the distance
Start the final kick now this instant
Hot fire courses through the blood
Runners get closer, the finish line ready for the flood
Pass one then two right before the line
A hard fought race that’s finally over, no worry of the time
Symbols
The journey isn’t done
Takes more than words to start a revolution
Change of thought in the modern time
Think of things differently with less worry over what is mine
The small group still controls just about everything
Suffocating everyone else out, I can hardly breathe
Symbols and ideals getting trampled to death
Rich man fights to keep other from having good health
Misfortunate souls seek revenge over the hand they’ve been dealt
Faceless entities run the show
Some born to a place with nowhere to go
Greed is the be all end all
Pressure builds, causing civilization to eventually fall
Collapsing under its own unstoppable appetite
Poor versus rich in a righteous fight
Last chance to pick the right side
Join us tonight
Symbols and ideals getting trampled to death
Rich man fights to keep other from having good health
Misfortunate souls seek revenge over the hand they’ve been dealt
Fled
What do you think?
That this is a parlor trick
Letting ideas flow with no worry of the risk
Control the furry that consumes
Thoughts of lost brothers whose lives won’t resume
Maybe in heaven, if it exists
Maybe that’s after this place is instinct
Early proclamations have been avoided too easily
Causing confusion as to the reason we live life so hastily
Hurry up and get to the end
Before they know what hit them
Other have already fled
Anxious for the after instead
Twentieth century Angels shot down in their prime
Many are now too afraid to make this their time
Learning from the harsh past
Speak too loud and you won’t last
Even if the message is peace
Some won’t like the taste
The ones in power will shut you down
Speak for peace and then get shot
Or spend your life in a cell block
Of course you can just join the machine
You’re not alone, it’s the new mean
Shackles
The ability to carve a new path is priceless
Overcome the stagnate energy
Persisting to consume the relentless, conforming test
Unable to stay the same, even with the same name
Have to reinvent to ignite the spark
The chance to make your mark
Anything to not bend to what they want me to be
I have my own vision of how to be free
Break the shackles
Fight the machine
Not listening to their definition of the right way
No spiked Kool-aid just for a toy to play
Forget the batteries and the waste of energy
Using up every last resource fleetingly
Single serving convenience
Leads to a harsh penance
Break the shackles
Fight the machine
Do more living than just in your dreams
Golden
The founders roll their eyes in disgust
The followers haven’t been able to follow the meaning of the words
People become consumed with escalating wars
Forgetting why the most basic principles were written
Organizations rise in power, souls are cheated
Many followers become consumed with hate
Unaware they’re testing fate
Confident in every choice they make
Making choices the founders would never make
The principles laid out to keep people in line, living good lives
Have been warped by sinister forces encouraging people to senselessly die
Devil laughs at the chaos that’s been created
Golden rules are long desecrated
Today
The opportunity for a fresh start
Presents itself today and the tension builds
Hopeful to succeed
Be a part of a successful team
The mind alters course steering toward bottoming out
I’ve already been there; I know what that’s about
Not today, this is the day to rise above the fear
Energy lags in the anticipation of the job that comes near
It will happen, no more faltering
Learn from the past and make your case
The best of the best get their chance today
And that one is you on this day
Falls Behind
Still haven’t figured out the meanings
The revelations so vivid and dark that left my life reeling
The fog is back to block deeper perceptions
The federals had blocked my cure
Now it’s money that blocks the brain from feeling pure
Thoughts scramble and muscles twitch
Difficult to stay on a steady think
Keep searching for the answers
Look out for unseen dangers
Avoid the fear the develops the anger
Peaceful resistance to the wall of nonsense
Confusion to the reason for the strong persistence
This life in the modern time falls behind
What will the price be for our arrogance and mistrust?
The ship flies away, leaving us waiting for the bus
Keep searching for the answers
Look out for unseen dangers
Avoid the fear the develops the anger
The Decision
The Flame starts to diminish
The slightest breath may blow it out
The light will soon be gone
Life takes its final bow
The fighting continues
Over what is the right way to live
The angels move on
They’ve given all they can give
Nothing will stop the greed
It consumes the souls of those in charge
Willing to sell their souls
To fit all their useless shit an a giant barge
Sailing out to nowhere
Others like them by their side
They wallow in misery for eternity
No one will be their guide
The end approaches fast
Blowing in on dark grey clouds
We had it coming all along
The decision to do wrong was ours
Fight the Nonsense
In the twilight of the fruitful years
Those in power fight logic to sickening cheers
The chasm widens, wider than ever before
The Haves want even more
The Have Nots’ soon sleeping on the floor
The Haves tear the whole thing down just to get a bigger slice
Tormenting the souls and health of good people, fighting the good fight
Regular people left to fend for themselves
Survival of the most corrupt, unethical, immoral, hate filled little elves
Continue to push down those trying to rise through the ranks
Anything to keep as much as possible in their bank
No skill or talent needed
Except unbridled greed and self-righteousness, indeed!
Stand up and fight the nonsense
Or we will soon pay a penance
For allowing greed to control our existence
Only Way
Still debating the answers to the eternal questions
Where do we come from?
Are we God’s chosen ones?
Modeled after the favorite son
The response from above is muted but still with love
How long can we last surviving on our own?
Forging a future in the great unknown
Living only for the present, ignoring the signs we’ve been shown
And so it continues day after day
Scrambling along fighting for the right to stay
To stay the same, not to change a thing
The end comes due to our own destruction,
Anticipation builds for the final bell to ring
The long slow gradual decline
That we can stop, but we don’t have the time
Wait until tomorrow when it’s all gone
Then join hands and sing a song
Until then live for now
It’s the only way we seem to know how
Modern Man
Is there still hope for the modern man?
Sometimes I think we can
But so few control so much
So many want too much stuff
There never seems to be enough
Only goal is growth and draining everything in site
The annual income of the everyman, is what the coal baron made overnight
Inheritance of wealth, the talent of those in power
Obstructing those trying to rise, throwing stones from their tower
The common man seems to accept his fate
Not allowed to truly participate
Never satisfied, those in power continue to take
PART III: A Little on the Lighter Side
Band Names
Moldy Cheese
Scapegoat Frenzy
Keg Party
Brain Drain
Stone Immaculate
Pot Brownies
Cold Hearted Bitch
Skank Party
Blacked Out Drunk
Freshman 15
Molly Cyprus
Running on Acid
Teetering on the Brink
Muhammad Smith & the Culture Shocks
Jerry Green & the Bad Billy Band
Aimless Direction
The 27 Club
Funky Freddy & the Groove Machine
Jimmy Shithead & the Assholes
Tweets
Goats in daylight means two things; sunshine and happiness
Occasionally a cheetah’s spots are made of gold, but only in the frozen tundra of Milwaukee
Marshmallow adventures followed by proxy vote on inherent right of wildebeest to roam through Manhattan
Don’t want to go to heaven if they don’t got Led Zeppelin
God said, “let there be light” and then BANG, there was light
God created the universe, it evolved from there
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