I didn’t know what to say to that, but I didn’t think she was expecting an answer. Instead, there was a collective sigh of relief when the pedicurist came and started massaging our feet. We avoided much chat and just enjoyed the moment. But, I didn't forget what she said, and I thought maybe Spencer should know too because he couldn’t correct a problem if he never knew there was one to begin with.
Chapter Fourteen
SPENCER
My phone buzzed on my desk next to me for the millionth time today, and I hit the ignore button, knowing what she wanted. But, Belen wasn’t getting it and although it had been weeks of me not calling, she still couldn’t accept it was over. I didn’t picture her as clingy, she had absolutely no signs of it previously. But, since I left her house that one last time, guilt and disgust at my own desperation churning in my stomach, I hadn’t been able to shake it . . . or her.
I considered blocking her, which probably would’ve been the wise thing to do, but with access to my work numbers, mutual friends, and a whole lot of history . . . I needed to man up and answer the phone. Just not today, there was no way I would answer the phone today. I might wait for her persistence to die down a bit, then make an effort to talk.
There was another buzz, and I sighed. Positive she sent me a text message, asking how I’ve been and when would she see me again. Just in case I hadn’t gotten the last five in the past two days. But, when I looked down at my screen, it wasn’t her name that filled the window. It was Mari’s, and it made me smile, a big, outrageously goofy smile to see a text from a girl who never even called me before. The analytical reasons for the smile weren’t worth looking into at the moment, but I could only assume it was my concern over her afternoon with my niece.
Mari: Niece?
Me: Yeah, didn’t I tell you that?
Mari: If you told me that, do you think I would be questioning you now?
I smiled at the phone, imagining her brown eyes rolling at me like she’d done so many times before.
Me: Are you girls having fun? I hope she’s behaving herself. It’s hard to tell which way it’s going to go with her.
Mari: She’s perfect. So, I don’t want to be rude, and I know this isn’t my place, but maybe you should work on communicating with her a little more.
Mari was right, everything about Victoria was perfect. She was Simon’s perfect little miniature, and that’s what made her so complicated.
Me: What do you mean? We communicate.
Mari: Just, try more, okay? She needs it, and you both deserve it.
I tried not to let it bug me that someone, a practical stranger to Victoria, could see the struggle we had, so instead, I changed the subject to something safe.
Me: I get out of here soon, want to meet for dinner? My treat?
Mari: I can’t turn down free food, now can I? Where at?
I thought about it for a moment before remembering that Mari had never tried sushi, and I had promised to rectify that. Plus, I knew sushi was Victoria’s weakness so she wouldn’t object.
Me: The Sushi place on Fifth and Main?
Mari: If I hate it, you’re also buying me a burger on the way home.
Me: You won’t hate it. I promise you, bookworm.
Mari: Bookworm? Are we back to that again?
Me: It’s fitting.
I looked at the clock and my remaining schedule for the day and tried to figure out what could be moved around. I should have planned before asking her and Victoria to dinner, but I couldn’t take it back now. Instead, I decided to forgo the gym, just this once, in favor of some time with my girls. Victoria, time with Victoria.
Me: Meet me there in forty-five minutes. Don’t be late.
Mari: And throw you into a stress-induced public hyperventilation? I wouldn’t dream of it!
I was pretty sure I wasn’t as bad as she was making me seem, yet I couldn’t help but ponder her words as I called the restaurant to make a reservation. I thought about it the whole time I was finishing up my paperwork and throughout the fifteen-minute drive to the restaurant. I arrived early, which was more pleasing than being late, and the girls were already waiting for me on a bench as I parked the car.
They stood as I approached, both looking adorable with freshly painted toes. “I like the pedicures.”
Victoria beamed as she looked down at her toes. “You really like it?” she asked me, looking directly at me and I tried, I really did, but my eyes diverted back to her feet before I smiled.
“Of course, I do. You girls should do that more often.” I didn’t really consider the fact that I unintentionally volunteered Mari to do this again, or even considered whether she enjoyed it the first time.
“If you’re paying, I’m going,” Mari chimed in, giving me a wink over Victoria’s shoulder.
Despite the fact we were early, we had no issue getting seated. The hostess seated us in chairs tucked into the corner of the restaurant. I watched Mari, enjoying the look of wonder that crossed her face as she took in the sight of the trays of sushi being carried throughout the building on intricate metal tracks. In the middle of the room, surrounded by the tracks and table set up, were men working furiously to create their masterpieces, completely unaware of the crowd of people watching over them.
“Okay, so how it works is each color plate has a price point. As you can see from that sign over there.” I used my right hand and pointed toward a sign hanging over the middle of the kitchen area. “As the trays float by, you grab what you want, then at the end of the evening, you pay your bill based on the trays you have collected.”
She scrunched her eyebrows in the cutest display of confusion. “But, how do I know what I like? Do they offer a sampler plate, so I know before committing to it?”
I shook my head, “No, you just have to trust that it’s something you will like, I guess.”
Her lips formed into a frown, “I’m not sure if I like that.”
“Nothing here is bad, Mari. I promise,” Victoria chimed in from my left side, reminding me I’d been sandwiched between two females.
She worried her bottom lip, and I fought the urge to bring my thumb up and free it from its torture. “If you’re that worried about it, I’ll pick a few trays, and we can share. Whatever you don’t like, I’ll eat.”
She was silent for a moment, and I was wondering if she was going to reject the whole idea, the whole place, and insist we go somewhere else, but instead, she surprised me. “You sure that’s okay?”
I responded by reaching up and grabbing the first tray that passed by, Victoria following, doing the same. Picking up my chopsticks, I picked up a California roll from the tray in front of me, using my finger to individually describe each part before shoving it into my mouth.
She looked around, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t find my fork,” she stated as she continued her search.
Victoria laughed from beside me, and I had to fight against doing the same. “And you won’t find your fork either. This isn’t like the Chinese take-out we eat at home, they aren’t providing you a fork.”
“You guys get Chinese food, together? Sheesh, I really do miss a lot,” Victoria stated before shoving a roll into her mouth.
I turned my body toward her, but not enough to look at her. “We hang out sometimes.”
I felt Mari’s thigh nudge mine, the heat of her thighs seeping into my charcoal work slacks. “Look at her when you speak,” she whispered low enough for me to hear her, but not loud enough for Victoria. I shot her a questioning look over my shoulder before she whispered again, “Look at her. You think she doesn’t notice you avoid it, but she does.”
So, when Victoria stared, waiting for me to elaborate, I did the hardest thing I had done in years. I turned to her, looked her directly in the eyes, Simon’s eyes, and explained. Well, I tried to explain, but the lump I had to force down my throat caused words to stall.
“Wait, so basically you’ve been hanging out with our neighbor this whole time
, and you pretty much were selfishly hiding her from me?” She seemed annoyed at this.
“I didn’t think about it,” I confessed.
Victoria made a huffing sound in her throat before shoving another piece of sushi into her mouth. Her eyes rolled up in happiness as she chewed. Turning back to Mari, I picked up her chopsticks from next to her glass of water. “Ready to learn?”
“I’ve tried before, it’s a mess.” She gave me a pouty look. “Are you sure I can’t just use a fork?”
“No!” Victoria and I said in unison, and I reached over to Victoria for a high five.
“Okay, so first you take a chopstick and balance it on your ring finger.” I used my own chopstick to show her and waited for her to copy me. “Okay, now take your second chopstick and place it in the little spot between your pointer finger and thumb. Good, now rest it on your middle finger.”
“Is this right?” She awkwardly held up her hand holding the chopsticks.
“It seems correct. Now watch, this is how you pick things up.” I slowly demonstrated a few times with my own chopstick before watching her try it. She was clumsy and shaking, but I think with practice she would probably get it in no time. She picked up her California roll and slowly brought it to her mouth, nearly dropping it before making it past her lips. I watched as her lips closed around the roll and she slowly chewed. She swallowed moments before her tongue came out and swiped at the single grain of rice that clung to her lips.
“Well?” I asked when she hadn’t said anything.
“Not bad. Not bad at all. What am I trying next?”
Reaching past Victoria’s arms, I used my chopsticks and snagged a sake maki roll from Victoria’s tray, skillfully avoiding her chopsticks as she tried to block me. I elbowed her side, “It’s for Mari, not me.”
Victoria sighed heavily before moving, giving up her efforts to prevent sharing. Holding the roll up for Mari to see, I explained the layers of Salmon, wasabi, rice, and seaweed before holding my hand under it and holding it up toward her. She looked conflicted, and I wasn’t exactly sure why, so I moved it closer to her mouth, waiting for her to open.
She opened and as her lips closed around the Maki roll savoring the taste, so did her eyes. I froze, chopsticks in the air, completely infatuated as I watched her without her knowing. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I knew why I watched her. I was confused by the enchantment I seemed to be under, and if it hadn’t been for the sound of Victoria clearing her throat, I might have stopped and tried to work it out. But Mari’s eyes opened, looking straight at me, and I had to force myself to move away.
“Was it good?” I sat my chopsticks down and rubbed my sweaty palms on my slacks.
“Uh-hmm,” she muttered as she picked up her chopsticks, reached her arms past me, displaying her chest directly in front of my face, and snagged another roll from Victoria’s tray. I leaned back in my chair a little, trying to avoid the contact while not looking like I was gawking. Because I couldn’t deny it, I was gawking. I didn’t know what it was about her chest, but my eyes just couldn’t stay away.
Victoria made a chucking sound that she was trying to hide, and I jammed my thigh against hers to quiet her. “What?” she protested innocently.
“You know what,” I hissed under my breath as I turned to watch Mari try another piece.
The rest of dinner was spent with Mari taking in every type of sushi she could and loving it all. She was having fun, Victoria was having fun, we were having fun . . . and for a few moments at least, taking a deep breath didn’t feel quite as suffocating. My chest didn’t feel heavy with regrets and watching her smile, them smile, made my heart pinch just a bit, and I had to wonder, would this type of happiness really be so bad?
Chapter Fifteen
MARI
There was something so irresistibly alluring about this man, this incredibly broken, lost soul that despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stay away from . . . I couldn’t even look away. I tried, believe me, I tried harder than I’ve ever tried in my life … but his calling was strong.
I don’t think he recognized me from our time on the bridge. But I would remember his face anyway. It haunted me, visiting me in my dreams and begging me to save him, without verbally voicing it. It was his eyes, this intriguing shade of coal, they beckoned me forward, even when my mind urged my feet to stay rooted.
That is how I found myself staring silently into their depths on the busy street, surrounded by those who don’t realize that a single second can change a life. A single word can make a difference, a single notion of just an ounce of love and caring . . . can bring someone off the ledge.
The tap on the window startled me out of my concentration, and if it hadn’t been for the steering wheel, my laptop would have fallen to the floor. Shielding my eyes, I looked out the window to spot Devon leaning forward with his hands on his knees. I had lost myself for a moment, forgetting where I was, which sometimes happened when I was writing.
I reached over, finding the lever to the window and slowly began to crank it until the window was down enough to talk. I should’ve been embarrassed that I actually owned a car that had manual windows, but I wasn’t. It was mine, and though it wasn’t the latest model, I worked hard to own it.
“Hey, Devon. I didn’t even hear the bell ring.” I looked out my windshield, taking in the masses of kids storming out of the building. It had become part of my habit, a daily routine, picking up Victoria from school. I didn’t mind it, she was a sweet kid and hanging out with her prevented me from binge-watching Netflix and consuming a whole bag of Doritos by myself.
“You know you don’t have to wait outside, you’re more than welcome to sneak into the back of my class for the last few minutes,” he offered. That was the same offer he’d been giving me for weeks.
“The weather is cooling off, I’m fine out here. Plus, my car is like my mobile office, see!” I awkwardly held up my computer as Victoria jumped into the car seat beside me.
His eyes followed Victoria as she buckled her seatbelt. “Did Victoria tell you about the Formal that’s coming up? It’s sort of a big deal.”
“That’s what I hear.” Oh, she told me. She told me about it every day. Every day. How she couldn’t wait to buy a dress. That was most likely a hint for a shopping trip. How she really hoped Spencer let her go, or he would be ruining her life forever. She really wanted Liam Myers to ask her to the dance, but she would settle for Mathew Flinn if she absolutely had to. I couldn’t be the one to tell her that unfortunately, the world didn’t work that way and if you are settling, it was most definitely going to be for someone a lot lower than any of your choices. My life; that was a prime example.
“It turns out I’m down a date and a chaperone. Any takers?” I looked around, trying to figure out who he was talking to before I realized his question was directed at me. I felt Victoria tug on my sleeve, causing me to turn.
“You have to do it, Mari, please,” she whispered. “If you go then Spencer will definitely let me go. He trusts you.”
I wasn’t sure how to confess to her that I wasn’t ready to date again. That my scars had just finally healed from the last relationship that broke me into a million pieces, and how was I going to admit, while having two sets of eyes on me, that dating was the last thing on my mind. So far from my agenda that I’d have my next pap smear scheduled before that.
“Please, for me.” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, and her eyes gave me this sad glassy look that pulled at my heartstrings. The same fucking look that her damn uncle used weekly.
With a blanket of guilt smothering me, I succumbed to the pressure and turned to Devon, “Sounds great, what time should I meet you?”
I was trying to keep it neutral, not wanted him to assume that my agreement was anything more than it was. “Actually, I thought I would just pick you up on the way, maybe do dinner first if that’s okay?”
“Ah…” I froze, trying to think of a possible way to get out of this situation, but not finding
any. “That would be great.”
“Yeah?” he asked, giving me a sly grin and I felt bad because he was cute, adorable really, but I just wasn’t as into him as he apparently was into me.
“Yeah. Thanks for inviting me,” I offered.
He tapped his hands on the top of my roof before standing. Bending so he was eye level with the window again, he said, “I hope I see you before Saturday, but if I don’t, I look forward to taking my own Cinderella to the ball.”
I hoped he was comparing me to a princess and not an overworked servant, but either way, he attempted to be sweet, and I did really look forward to going; it would be fun. I just wasn’t expecting anything past the dance. “I look forward to it, too.”
He gave me a smile, a charming, heartwarming smile, and I wished I felt more for him. I really wished I did, but I couldn’t force myself to have feelings that weren’t there; I learned that the hard way a long time ago. He walked away, and I watched him, hoping that this whole situation didn’t turn into a disaster.
Saturday night arrived quicker than I anticipated and if it hadn’t been for Raylee and her expert skills at shopping, neither Victoria nor I would have found a dress. She swooped in like an amazing white knight, scooping us up and dragging us to all the latest boutiques in search of the perfect dress.
After dress shopping, she dragged us around searching for the perfect shoes and accessories, making me wish I hadn’t agreed to this after all. After repeatedly reminding her it was just a middle school dance, not a prom, she finally relented enough for us to get a break. As Victoria and I stuffed our faces with Hot Dog on a Stick, she grabbed an ice-cold lemonade and left us sitting on the edge of the water fountain while she searched for earrings that would ‘make my eyes sparkle.’
“No, Raylee. I don’t need you to come do my hair,” I said into the phone that Victoria was holding up for me, allowing me to pull her hair up into an intricate twist.
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