by Marilyn Lee
Her angry words lashed into him with the sting of a whip. He felt bruised and hurt. “Please. I—I ….”
“There’s nothing else you have to say that I want to hear Reed! Nothing! Now will you please let me go?”
He stepped back.
She jerked the door open and left.
He heard Ria and RP calling to her. He tensed. After a moment, he heard her responding. He leaned back against the wall, feeling as if he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go.
Chapter Nine
“It’s been three weeks. Aren’t you ever going to forgive him?”
Annalise didn’t look up from the charcoal of Ria and RP she sketched from memory. “This is one of the last gorgeous September days we’re probably going to have.” She sank back against the tree she sat under. “I came to the park to enjoy it, not to discuss your brother.”
“But Annie, you’ve never been one to hold grudges. Why are you starting with him?”
“Because he called me a nightmare! Then he ordered me out of his house and said he never wanted to see me again! And I’m supposed to forget all that just because he kissed me? I don’t think so!”
She looked up in time to see Deb’s mouth drop open as she bolted up from her reclining position. “He kissed you?”
Annalise put down her charcoal and gave Deb a cool look. “Don’t jump to any wild conclusions, Deb. They didn’t mean anything.” At least not to him.
“Oh. So that’s why you won’t forgive him. Because he didn’t put enough feeling in his kiss?” Deb giggled, looked horrified, and then burst into outright laughter. She laughed so hard, her eyes watered.
“Deb! How can you laugh?”
She sobered, wiping at her damp cheeks. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Annie. That was mean. I’m sorry. But wait a minute. You said they. He kissed you more than once?”
“Deb!”
“Did he, Annie?”
She didn’t answer.
“Oh, Annie! You’re in love with him.”
It wasn’t a question so it didn’t require an answer. She shrugged. “He’s in love with Taylor.”
Deb shook her head. “I’m not so sure about that anymore.”
Annalise’s heart thumped. “You’re not? Why not? What’s happened? Don’t keep me in suspense. Did they...stop seeing each other?”
Deb frowned. “No. They’re still seeing each other. At least she’s still seeing him. He’s in full retreat and she’s in big time denial. It should be obvious to her by now that the bird has flown the coop.”
“Oh, Deb! He’s a grown man with a tongue as sharp as any razor. If he didn’t want to see her, he’d tell her so in no uncertain terms.” Just as he had her.
“Look, I know he hurt you, but that was out of character for him and he’s so sorry. He’s trying to let her down easy. But, Annie, I’m telling you it’s over between them. Besides, if he’s so in love with her, why is he so miserable about you?”
“Who says he’s miserable?”
“I do. I still spend my weekdays at his house—more’s the pity. He’s running out of casual ways to ask how you are. Last night he came right out and asked if you’d asked about him. He used the pretext of asking if you’d received his flowers. Then he asked me if you’re ready to see him.”
In the last three weeks Reed had inundated her with bouquets of carnations. She’d tossed them all in the trash. “You can tell him I got his flowers. All five dozen of them.”
“He also wanted to know who you were seeing.”
“I hope you told him it was none of his business who I’m dating.”
“Who are you dating, Annie?”
“It’s none of yours either, Deb.”
“Ouch!”
Annalise smiled.
“Now here’s the really big question. He’s driving me crazy. So can I tell him you forgive him?”
She picked up her charcoal and began sketching again. “No you can’t because I don’t forgive him, Deb.”
“That’s not a very Christ–like attitude, Annie.”
“No, it isn’t, but then I’m not perfect,” she said defensively. “And I don’t forgive him, Deb. Okay? Case closed.”
“But Annie—”
“Don’t but Annie me, Deb,” she said firmly. “I mean it. All I tried to do was help him. And what did I get in return? Kicked to the curb. That’s what. And that wasn’t very Christ–like on his part either. There’s no way I’m going to give him a chance to do that to me again.”
“Oh, Annie, if you only knew how badly he feels.”
“I don’t want to know, Deb. I don’t care how he feels about anything.”
Deb gave her a pained look. “Oh...Annie...”
“I don’t want to discuss him anymore. I want to forget he even exists and to get on with my life. Please don’t make it any harder by insisting we talk about him.”
Deb sighed. “Okay. He’s a big boy. He’ll just have to learn to cope.”
“Yes, he will.”
“Fine. Later for Reed.”
“Much later,” she said, pressing so hard against the paper that the charcoal broke. She stared at it for a moment, then dropped it on the grass beside her.
“Hmm. Well. So I’ll tell Ria and RP that you’re mad at their daddy, so you don’t want to see them anymore either.”
She gave Deb a cool look. “Do any of the Phillips fight fair?”
Deb gave her an unrepentant grin. “Nope, so what do you want me to tell them?”
This is what came of falling for a man who belonged to someone else—a big mess. “I don’t know.”
“After three weeks of silence from you they’ve started to realize you don’t want to see them again. Ria’s a tough little cookie, but RP’s taking your desertion really hard.”
The accusation stung. “I didn’t desert him! His father threw me out. His father and your brother.”
“Oh, sure. Right. Is that what you want me to tell RP? That Reed made you run away?”
And risk damaging the loving relationship Reed had with his children? “No. That’s not what I want you to tell them.” She sighed, realizing that she didn’t have much choice. Unless she was willing to hurt Ria and RP. She wasn’t.
“Tell them they’ve been in my thoughts but I’m really busy.”
“But?”
“But things have slowed down now, and I’ll be in touch.”
Deb smiled. “That’s my Annie. Just one other thing.”
“What now, Deb?” she asked wearily. If she hadn’t been doing Deb a favor, she wouldn’t have fallen for a man who thought of her as a nightmare. “Don’t tell me that’s not sufficient.”
“No. It’s great. I was just thinking that maybe...just maybe you’d call them and tell them yourself. It would mean so much to them to hear from you. You could call while Reed’s at work. RP’s moping around the house like you wouldn’t believe. He really loves you, Annie.”
She nodded. “I know. And... I feel the same way about him. About them. Okay. You’re right. I’ll call them.”
“Oh, thanks, Annie. I know it’s a lot to ask, but—”
“No, it’s not.” She loved Ria and RP almost as much as she loved their father. “I’ve missed them too.”
“Great! Now if we could just get Reed to fast track the break from Taylor, life would be perfect.” She cast a speculative look in Annalise’s direction. “You know, RP’s not the only one who’s been moping. I have a feeling that if you put your mind to it, you could make Reed forget Taylor ever existed. If you haven’t already done that.”
She shook her head. “Deb! We just agreed not to talk about him!”
“I know, Annie, but the two of you were made for each other. Just as Dave and I are. I just know the Lord means for you to be together. So you can’t really mean never to see him again.”
“I do mean it, Deb. I made a mistake in falling for him. I’m not going to compound it by wishing for something I can’t ever h
ave.”
“But Annie, who says you can’t ever have him?”
“He did,” she said bleakly.
Four days later on a Thursday as she made a salad for dinner, the phone rang. She set the head of lettuce and knife down. It was probably Charlie making his weekly call to ask how she was.
She’d done her best to behave normally around him and his family. Nevertheless, Charlie, having raised her when their parents died when she was ten and he was twenty–three, was two parts father and one part big brother. He always seemed to know when she needed his shoulder and made it available.
Smiling, she picked up the phone “Hello, Charlie.”
“Hello, Annalise.”
Reed! She bit down on her bottom lip. Boy she had it bad when just the sound of his voice made her weak kneed.
“Annalise? Are you still there?”
“What do you want, Reed?” She finally managed.
“I want to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“I meant face to face. I’m in the lobby. I was hoping I could come up.”
Her gut reaction was to jump at the chance to see him again. But following her gut was what usually landed her in hot water.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Then I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed.”
“I really need to talk to you.”
“Why?”
“I never meant those things I said. I can’t bear you thinking that I did.”
“We’ve already been down that road, Reed. I don’t want to go there again.”
“What else is there? Are you the same woman who sat by my bed holding my hand when I was sick?”
“And got creamed for it, Reed! Don’t forget that because I haven’t.”
She heard him sigh. “Annalise. Please. You have to at least hear me out.”
“You say that as if I owe you some consideration. But I don’t and you’re not getting any more than you gave me.”
“I know you don’t owe me anything. I’m appealing to your generous nature.”
“I haven’t got one.”
“Oh, yes you have.”
“If I have, I’m not wasting it on you.”
“Annalise, I...I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I can’t even think clearly anymore. I need you to forgive me.”
She hardened herself. “You should have thought about that before treating me like something RP found under a rock!”
“Don’t be like that. Please.”
He sounded almost as unhappy as she felt.
“May I please come up?”
She had spent a painful three weeks reconciling herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to see him again. She had filled her days with church activities, prayer, and had managed quite well without him. Now he wanted to start her to wanting him all over again?
He’d gone out of his way to hurt her. There was no reason to see him. So why was her resolve dissipating faster than half–formed ice cubes on a hot August sidewalk?
“Aren’t you afraid to be alone with me? That I’ll sneak into your bedroom and won’t be able to keep my hands to myself, Reed?”
He sighed again. “Don’t do this, Annalise.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Please. You must know you’re torturing me.”
She was torturing him? “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.”
“I know you’re angry with me and you have reason to be. But I need to see you. Let me come up. Please.”
“Fine. Come up, but don’t expect anything to change just because you do.” Angered by her weakness, she punched in the code to release the front door and slammed down the phone before he could respond.
She was tempted to brush her hair out, slap on some makeup and change out of her sweats. Although she was no match for Taylor Dane when it came to looks, she possessed far more curves than the older woman.
When she heard the doorbell ring, she took several deep breaths before opening it.
He wore a dark suit and carried a bouquet of the hated carnations. Oh for the freedom to be able to fling herself into his arms.
He gave her a tentative smile and offered her the flowers. “Annalise. It’s so good to finally see you again.”
The hypocrite sounded sincere. She took the flowers and backed away from the door. “I suppose you’d better come in.”
He did, closing the door behind him.
After she put the flowers on the hall table, they stood staring at each other in silence.
Finally, he pushed himself away from the door and came to stand in front of her. “Forgive me.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I can’t go on like this. Having you hate me is unbearable.”
The combination of his blue eyes staring down into hers, and his subtle cologne, played havoc with her senses. She swallowed hard and took several steps back. “Fine. I forgive you. Now please go away.”
“Actually, I was hoping you’d have dinner with me first.”
“Dinner with you?”
“Yes. Dinner. With me.”
“And just what would your one woman say about that?”
“I wish you wouldn’t keep calling her my one woman.”
“Why not? She is still your one woman. Isn’t she?”
She watched him swallow several times. “She’s...ah, we...I still...see her.”
The small ray of hope she’d felt at his obvious reluctance faded. He was not in full retreat. “You haven’t answered my question. What would she say to us going out to dinner?”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t planning on asking her opinion.”
Her lips parted. “Excuse me? I’m supposed to sneak around with you behind her back?”
He compressed his lips. “I wouldn’t exactly call it sneaking around. We’re talking about dinner, Annalise, not an affair. Just dinner and a chance to talk to clear the air between us.”
“You think your jealous ‘one woman’ will see the difference between the two?” She asked, wanting to provoke him.
She watched as he made an obvious effort to hold onto his temper. “I’d really rather not talk about Taylor.”
“No? Well, then we have nothing to say because I find she’s all I care to talk about with you, Reed.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “So you haven’t really forgiven me.”
“No, I haven’t forgiven you! You called me a nightmare! You threw me out of your house and told me not to come back! You want to know something Reed? I was so hurt that I cried all the way home.”
He leaned against the door. She watched in amazement as he then slid down it until he was slumped on the floor.
He held his hands up, looking helpless. “I...I don’t know what to say to make things right with you. I don’t know what to do. Tell me how to make things right with you. I didn’t mean any of those things I said that day. I was angry and I wanted to hurt you.”
“Well, congratulations. You achieved your goal.”
“But it was only a momentary urge. I was sorry the moment the words left my lips. How many ways can I say how sorry I am!”
“How many ways can I tell you how much it hurt? You think I have no feelings? That because I sat by your bed you could say any hurtful thing you wanted to me and I’d forgive you? Well, you can’t and I don’t. Your coming here was a waste of both our times.”
“It’s hopeless, isn’t it? You’re determined not to forgive me no matter how much I grovel.” He placed a hand over his face.
The anguish in his voice struck an emotional nerve she couldn’t ignore. She loved him and, as the apostle Paul had written, love bore all things and didn’t keep account of injuries.
She knelt beside him. “I don’t want you to grovel, Reed.” She touched his hair before pulling his hand away from her face.
He looked at her with a bleak expression. “I’m so sorry, honey. So sorry.”
So was she—that she was still in love with him and that he was sti
ll seeing Taylor. This would probably be her last chance to touch him before he formalized his relationship with Taylor.
“Do you love her, Reed?”
“Annalise, Taylor and I are...I’m ….”
“You’re in love with her?” She nodded. “I know. Do you want to know a secret?”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I said and I don’t want to know any secrets.”
She caressed his cheek. “I’m going to tell you anyway.”
“Don’t. I know things are a little crazy right now, but—”
“What’s the matter, RP Senior? Afraid of the truth?”
He shook his head again. “No, but—”
She pressed her fingers against his lips. “I love you.”
“Oh...Annalise! I...I...I don’t know what to say.”
She gave him a small smile. “You could say you love me too. I’d really like to hear it.”
“I’m not in love with her, Annalise.”
“You’re not in love with me either.”
“I…my feelings for you…”
She sighed and sank back against the door. “You made your lack of interest clear when you called me a nightmare and ordered me out of your house.”
“For crying out loud, Annalise! I didn’t order you out and you know that I didn’t mean that nightmare nonsense!”
“No, I don’t—”
“Don’t tell me you don’t because I know that you do. You just want me groveling at your feet. You want groveling? Fine. I’ll grovel, Annalise. I’ll beg. I’ll supplicate. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please. Please. Stop torturing me.” His voice softened. “That night on the swing you must have known how I—”
“You mean the night you refused to even admit you liked me?”
“I didn’t come here to play games, Annalise. You didn’t need me to tell you I liked you. You must have felt that I did. That I do. I have from the moment I saw you.”
“Oh, I see. It’s because you like me so much that you went out of your way to hurt me.” She nodded. “Sure. Makes a lot of sense to me. I always try to hurt the people I like.”
“Annalise—”
“Oh, let’s just drop it,” she said wearily. “Now that you know my not so little secret, will you please go away and let me get over you?”
